Monday, April 25, 2011

Running smack into the wall

My reaction time stinks.  I see an obstacle, have minor panic attack, and then hit the wall full force even after repeating to myself avoid the wall, miss the wall, DON'T HIT THE WALL!  And yet I am so concerned about hitting the wall, I step aside trying to avoid the obstacle and end up hitting it harder.  This came to me as I was trying to avoid a full on workout as I was having an "off day".  I decided today was a good Wii Fit day.  According to that scale I was up a couple of pounds (which I take with a grain of salt  - on carpet and a different time of the day than last time I was on the scale) and yet it is never fun to see a plus in front of the number instead of you have lost this many pounds.  However, the Wii Fit did feel like I was nine years younger.  That was nice :) I used the Wii Fit as a guide so that I could mix up the work out and not have to think or follow directions.  And with my day that was excellent.  I worked out 34 minutes and I say "worked out" loosely.  However the program really gave me a great visual.  Three of the work outs seemed to hit the same point in my head and my heart.  I focus on the bombs and sometimes miss the applause.  I let obstacles trip me up because they make me nervous.  I am so worried about failing or messing uup drastically I give up and guide myself into trouble's path.  Not always intentionally but subconsciously I guide myself to avoid the "surprise" hit.  But I forget that sometimes trouble can pass by without striking me.  I was "skateboarding" and usually I give up after I feel off kilter and that there is no way to "win".  However with seconds barely left I passed the first round and then the second just barely finishing within the time and made it all the through three complete rounds and so close on the fourth.  And I almost gave up in the first round because I didn't think I could make it very far. I hit many cones which are obstacles that count against your goal.  I would run into the obstacle full force and just suck it up.  Until it dawned on me to try to avoid the obstacle even if I was heading straight for it.  Jump, last minute swerve, anything that at least attempted to avoid the cone.  Sure I still hit quite a few but less than if I resigned myself to always hitting the obstacle. Reminders are good for everyone and I need them constantly.  Two seconds into an event does not determine the whole event but it means staying involved, caring, and letting go.  Oh I hate letting go,  I do care (sometimes too much) and staying involved I can be "eh".  I want to stay committed but I get frustrated and check out until system is all good to go and can achieve more "perfect" scenarios.

Another mini game I played was snowball where I didn't dodge quick enough and let the snowball smack me in the face.  How blunt is that!  It felt like I was being knocked off my feet as I watched my Mii character hit the deck, a bit woozy. And the last game that really helped me visualize this issue was that when I juggled.  Once you are juggling three balls they lob bombs on you. I would get so distracted about avoiding the bombs that I would drop a ball without even knowing. 

How often do we focus on the possible obstacles, the mishaps, and in return let go of the blessings and the good things in response?  I don't want to sacrifice my happiness because of my fears of what is and what could be.  Life is too precious and too fragile to sacrifice the big things.  I am a big believer in life will be as it should be and once again I have to learn to trust myself that I am strong enough and talented enough and beyond blessed with a wonderful support team of family and friends. So bring on the mishaps and lob the snowballs because I will remain strong and standing.

May your HealthFULL Journey leave you confident, aware, and strong; no matter the circumstances. ' Til we meet again. . .

No comments:

Post a Comment