Mental Cobwebs

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!
That it is me blowing out the tension.  This week I have screamed, cried, giggled, yelled, collapsed, growled, clapped, strained, and made apologies, many apologies in reaction to the events.  I have just been off beat. Everytime I try to alter my steps or seek a new rhythm I get lost.  And I mean lost!!! I have to drive a mini bus for my job.  I am not one to brag about my driving and I obviously have commented on my navigation skills.  But this week I truly outdid myself.  I was on time for work. Which would narrow it down to Tuesday since every other day I was not :(  (Seriously this has just been beyond a crazy week!!!)  I get in the bus check my mileage make sure it is in good condition and am off to my first pick-up.  Wait! There is an orange light on the dash - not good! So I make a quick call back to my employment and they say to keep driving.  All right! Good to go - pick up the kids, next stop successful as well.  Missing one kid - early dismissal excellent back to work I go - smooth easy - like I've done it before.  The kids get a little rowdy.  I have a pow wow with almost half the bus about rules and the reason we have rules is for everyone's safety - awesome! Back on the road for the final school.  Which is literally a block away from the second stop.  I know my way I am good to go!  I take the curve and realize I am in big trouble.  The bus and I are now in the car lanes.  Slow motion shake of the head and a yelp of frustration and for good measure hit the steering wheel with the palm of my hand because I am literally stuck.  Oh sure there is a middle lane created for those who dare to drive this street between 3 and 4.  As two lanes are lined up going the same way against both curbs.  But the middle lane is barely wide enough for a family sedan.  And I mean barely as I watched a car meander for five minutes down the block through all of the awaiting vehicles.  Nowhere enough room for my mini bus/oversized van to squeak through without extensive damage to numerous vehicles.  So I wait - because there wasn't much choice.  Ten minutes tick by - another ten minutes tick -school is officially done for the day.  Five more minutes pass and there comes the swarm of middle schoolers.  I had a horrific thought that I had to wait to bypass the lane until the 13 cars in front of me and the 14 cars beside me matched up with their riders. (Yes I did count - I certainly had enough time :)  But slowly after the second swarm of teenagers ascend cars begin to crawl.  Each taking a turn - another seven minutes pass - and FREEDOM !!! I am able to drive the extra 100 feet to the bus lane which is accesible from the other end of the street!  And look no buses because they have came, picked up the kids, and been on their merry way for at least ten minutes.  I still somehow manage to park in the wrong spot but as the normal traffic is gone I am excused.  However I have to wait because the kids had been notified that their bus was stuck in car traffic - because yes a bus in the car lanes makes quite a sight of what is wrong with this picture.  So four of my kids arrive breathless as they had run the distance from the original pick up location to the car lanes and back.  However, they forgot to tell the fifth classmate - the bus had ended up back in the bus pick up lane.  So down to three kids as one volunteers to grab the classmate. Who won't believe his classmate and takes his time following.  Alright five kids - as I mentioned I am only a block away from my second stop which I found my employment quite easily.  But being frazzled from our waiting I blow right past the correct street to turn.  And I begin my scenic journey.  Several youth question where we are going and I chuckle after my apologies for their wait and confusion.  I think I can pull out of my confusion and forge the path for the bus back to work.   No go after seven minutes.  I admit defeat and turn around to retrace my route.  Seriously one of the kids question where are we going and again I offer my apologies and that we are indeed headed back.  Then I park the bus after our not so fun nor scenic route.  The bus continues to buzz and squeal at me as I remove the keys.  There is a little button I sort of knew about but not enough to figure out without two other faculties assistance.  Stellar - Tuesday and I have been lost twice.  That's right I was late to work Monday because I got lost from my house to work.  I had taken the wrong exit and like a hiker lost in the woods I kept during circles around a complicated intersection. 

Wednesday was a no go for work - As obligations piled up and then my son fell down some steps literally as we are about to leave the house.  He is okay, we consulted with medical professionals and were given instructions what we should keep under keen observation.  Then Thursday I had psychological/personality tests to endure.  I answered 567 True False statements about myself - then 240 questions with 5 levels of strongly agree to strongly disagree also about myself and then some vocabulary and logic questions.  Great! Plus a four hour round trip drive and still go to work -  = A round of awesomeness but get this I didn't get lost.  I apparently only do that within a 20 mile radiues of where I live.   My husband and I are trying to work out more with a regular schedule in hopes of actually working out.  Usually we meet at the gym Thursday but with my mind spinning and our son not sleeping before nine most nights we figure a little family walk around our neighborhood would be suffice.  Of course we had a million tiny tasks to do after I was about thirty minutes late from work. Dinner wasn't ready as my husband had several calls to handle and that is kind of the pace this entire week.  And then Friday was its own special day with different hiccups. 

But after hearing the bit you did - can you understand why I want to get rid of these mental cobwebs?  Yes we did go out of town last week and had a wonderful time as family at the beach with some friends.  But this week I have felt behind the eight ball every moment of every day.  Hopefully , this weekend I can have some quiet time with my cute little boy, get some things organized so that I am not doing the fifty yard dash with hurdles daily, and rearrange priorities.  Because there is a hierarchy of what really matters at the end of the day.  Its not fair to tell everyone and everything they are number one and then they fall almost everyday to sixth, seventh place.  They feel bad, I usually feel worse and no one is feeling like the superstar!  We almost passed on our family walk Thursday night - it was dark, we were grouchy, and overwhelmed and yet we agreed that even a simple four block jaunt would do us a world of good.  It would clear that mental cobweb stubbornly gripping our health and time and stealing joy from us.  It did help - we talked, we moved, and we accomplished far more in that fifteen minutes than what our to do list would show.

If you are having mental cobwebs - I completely understand - we can trade stories anytime :)  If you feel it is too much work or overwhelmed - take that ten minute walk or twenty minute nap - or half day of fun with those you love.  Because trudging through life is no way to live and the cobwebs will still be able to cling.   

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

When you live your HealthFULL Journey and come across those days that seem rough, overwhelming, or just plain not fun - may you on those days stir in a giggle, an opportunity to get creative, or serve as a wake up call.  God called us to live with enthusiasm and burn as a light for HIM not to suffocate under the overwhelming tasks of the daily grind and allow the mental cobwebs to pull us down.  Destroy those cobwebs by living in the glory of GOD. 'Til we meet again. . .

Causing quite a Racquet!

causing quite a racquet!
 

Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom,
and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too,
is a chasing after the wind. - Ecclesiastes 1:17


Thwap! Boom! Swoosh! *Grunt* *Yelp* Ahhhhhhhh!

Yes these are the sounds you would have heard as I competed on the racquetball court with my hubby Cor on Monday night.  These are also the sounds that have taken residence in our lives.  To say we have been busy this past month is a laughable quote.  Time, energy, tears, tearing of hair have been spent in abundance.  Working at a new job, getting glasses for the toddler, taking our beach vacation, teaching Sunday School, and scheduling appointments - lots and lots of appointments are some of the highlights of why I have been so quiet about this HealthFULL Journey.  There has been lots to say with little time to share. 

With our hectic schedules you can see why I feel like I am chasing the wind.  I feel I have the grasp of a situation or have captured a moment of wisdom and then it slides right through my fingers and I am left holding - NOTHING!  It is a frustrating pursuit, but I continue on this path because that moment of capture - that split second where you feel you have reached the treasured goal - your heart bursts with pride, your lips curve in a smile, and that glow of satisfaction starts to wash over you.  Only starts to cover you because in that next second you have lost that moment and again begin to desperately chase the opportunity that was just within your grasp.

My life this past month has felt like a game of racquetball.  And not just any game of racquetball but the heated match between Corey and myself 9/24/12.  My husband greeted me after work after we both were running thirty minutes late (which equals out the thirty minutes I was late to work - shocker I got lost!!!)  We stopped by the front desk to request a court to begin our battle and also the equipment.  You can see we are hard-core athletes when it comes to this fast-paced game.  It had been about a decade since either of us had played - but that didn't stop us from our pursuit to battle to the death - or until our twenty five minutes were done as both courts were already scheduled for that time. 

We entered the court, gripped our racquets, and securely placed our protective eyegear.  My husband gets ready to serve that little rubber ball of speed and force.  Oh timeout!  My glasses are fogging up.  A phenomenon I know well as I began wearing glasses at age five in Northern Minnesota.  My gracious husband switched goggles as he had not had any trouble with his pair.  Double drat these fogged up on me too.  We haven't even started playing and I can't see.  I feel these protective eyewear are not going to help me avoid danger as much as place me directly in the path of the lightning quick ammunition as a suitable target.  Again a perfect way to describe how some of these past weeks have felt.  What should protect and help me in my journey has served as direct missiles and choosing me as the perfect target for crazy explosion.  But back to the game.

We begin to play and I learn to peer through the fogginess (my curse of a short button nose!) or where I one hand my racquet and lift my glasses for a quick reprieve of every three seconds.  The game of racquetball is full of interesting and may I add "comical" noises.  I believe this is where comic book writers are inspired for their noises describing their combat sequences.  "Thwap!" "Boom!" *Whistling Missile* "Pow!" "Grrr!" "Ow!"   The last Ow that might just be me as that little blue bomb hits me in the shoulder. 

The great thing about racquetball is that you can hit the ball in any direction - Sides, back wall, front wall, floor, and ceiling count  . . . well at least in the version we played.  But I believe everyone else allows for the sides, back, and front wall.  The object of the game is to reach fifteen points.  You are allowed only one bounce before that satisfying smack sends the ball ricocheting around the room closely resembling a padded cell (without the padding) in an insane asylum. Even the door looks impossible to open from the inside as the "knob" nestles inside the door as to avoid injury in your quick pursuit to hit that little bouncing wonder. 

Usually, the game is played with two opponents facing off against each other in hopes of one winning.  We played a version more like the ball and walls/room were on one team and that my hubby and I were on another.  I tended to lob the ball against the wall after a double, triple, or quadruple bounce and then prayerfully cower as my husband would smash the daylights out of that little blue trajectile zooms leeringly at my head. 

Did I mention that I had a lot of fun?  Oh sure I am not ready for the olympics nor a real opponent but there is something satisfying about chasing down a specific target and then smacking it to smithereens watch it careen through the air and ricocheting off the ceiling and walls with intense but hilarious sound effects. 

Like I mentioned before this game mimics a lot of what is going on in our daily lives.  There is a lot of pursuit in our lives - being impressive at work, being available for our families,  seeking out opportunities to serve at church and in the community, while still trying to better our future opportunities by chasing them down.  We pray for moments where we can be a smashing success, make a little noise, and then walk away knowing we left everything on the court.  But we need to be wise in our pursuits because nothing is more frustrating than chasing the wind.  We think we are following God's will, we feel proud as we continue our noble pursuit, and then as we near the finish line we realized it was a mere illusion as the target appears to move further away always just inches beyond our grasp.

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to pursue noble dreams and satisfying goals. But if you do find those moments you are chasing the wind may they be filled with humor, loving support, and nuggets of wisdom. 'Til we meet again. . .