God is watching . . .

And so am I!!!



No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you  may be able to endure it. ---1 Corinthians 10:13 (NRSV)


Right now I am living my dream.  The crazy part I didn't even know it was my dream.  Sure I have had these off handed pitter patters at similar daydreams but really this time I was caught off-guard.  I thought being a SAHM (stay at home mom) would be boring.  That I would feel like something was lacking.  That my days would seem endless.  That it would be almost too easy. So far from the truth.  I am on day 9 and I am shocked by the challenges, the ease, the fun, and all that I've accomplished and how much more I have left to learn.

I am on a faith journey I never imagined.  I gave up a comfy and as secure job as you can have these days in May to nanny for some of the world's greatest kids.  Knowing it would be only for a summer (though in full honesty I did approach the family to extend the job - can't blame a girl for trying).  I wanted to create the job because it would be convenient for me and hopefully for the family as well.  But mainly I wanted some control on our finances, a solution to the problem of being uncomfortable.  I appreciate the skills of being adaptable and to ability to improvise on the spot.  I applaud the beauty and humor connected to the act of spontaneity.  And once upon a time I believe I possessed those skills or at least could fake it with the best of them.  Maybe it's because I hit the age of 30+, maybe because I am a mom, or maybe I was a control freak all along - but what I know is NOW I appreciate the comfort of plans,lists, and schedules. No job on the horizon was nerve-wracking and wait there is a bottom of the ninth grand slam - knock it out of the park job offer in that famous last minute. 

It was a good job.  It was challenging, it was fun, it was heart-warming, and yet it just did not fit into our life.  And we tried, we pulled, we tucked, we shimmied, we pleaded, we wedged, we crammed, and just no go.  So the only option left was to become a short term SAHM.  We're working out some other options as I begin the candidacy process for ordained ministry.  Perhaps I can look at this blog as training ground for future sermons. 

I've had several people share they wish they could afford this option - the luxury of being a SAHM.  I'm going to be blunt we can't afford this option either.  But on the other hand we couldn't afford not to try this option as well.  I am still looking for jobs I have sent out three resumes this week alone.  (and it's Tuesday).  But it has to be the right job with the right schedule for the right pay.  So we turn it over to God (or at least I'm trying to).  It's hard.  I like disposable income - I'm awesome at spending money.  I spent (oh this is embarassing) $73 at the dollar store in hopes of "saving" money as we prepared for our son's 2nd birthday.  When I confessed this expenditure to my hubby - he laughed and said you bought seventy-tree items? I proudly smiled - I actually bought more *rubs knuckles on shirt*.  So you see budget is not one of my fortes . . .yet!  I'm trying though.  Between sales and coupons we are averaging forty percent savings according to our grocery receipts.

Cooking - I am okay.  Great sous chef with clear explanantion - but hubby and I agreed I needed to take on more responsibility with the title of Head Chef  :(  And as a housekeeper I'm the worst.  If we could afford help - I would fire me! But again I'm trying, I'm learning.  I have to admit though I kind of make an awesome babysitter for my son.  We laugh, we cuddle, and slowly are improving bedtime/naptime.  Think of it as the bunny hop - one hop forward, one hop back and sometimes three forward (really teeny tiny hops forward) - but PROGRESS!  If I ever have to apply for this position I can prove my track record of learning things quickly :) 

So this is why it is a faith journey - because my resume would not get me seen for the position of a SAHM. And if for some reason I was called for an interview - from what I  just wrote; who in their right mind would hire me?  And yet, here I find myself as a SAHM for one more day? For one more week? One more month?  I don't know - I am truly learning to live day by day.  Which is a completely foreign concept for me.  I can't remember the last time I wasn't working for tomorrow.  I need to do this so tomorrow will be better.  And then tomorrow comes and I am working on the next day from the moment I wake up until I go to bed.  But these last nine days I am concerned about today!  Living in today does not just mean taking care of the here and now but to truly embrace it and enjoy it.  Because I don't know when it will be time for the next challenge.  But right now I get to count my blessings - not only do I have God watching over for me but a son truly watching me - EVERYDAY! And a hubby who supports me through it all.

May your HealthFULL Journey serve as your witness of the life you want to lead and not just a sneak peek of what is hopefully, to come.  We all get just the one chance here on Earth, so make it count - because someone is always watching! 'Til we meet again . . .    



 

When the world hits back - BAM!!!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. --Proverbs 3:5 NRSV

 

 

 

It's happened to you right?  You're lying on your back in pain, not sure what's happened but all you can see are stars?  Life has hit you smack dab in the face and you just want to crawl under your covers.  Maybe it was a physical assault - a stray board, an accidental elbow, an out of nowhere ball that lands on your schnoz.  Maybe it was a hurtful comment, a stinging insult, an ungrateful reaction. Maybe it was life-changing news - a lost job, a dreadful diagnosis, or a woe wrapped with grief.  Maybe you were at the end of your rope or maybe you were having the time of your life and BAM!  We've all had that moment.  We all handle that first step after BAM! in our own way but the majority of us regardless of how we plan to adjust to the BAM! We tend to tremor with a note of distrust, our confidence is a little lower, our voice is a smidge quieter.  Our world was rocked and we are afraid we can't have it happen again or have vowed to never let it happen again.  So how do we approach that first step? We build our defenses a little bit higher.  We are a bit more cautious with our choices.  Can I give you an example the inspiration for this blog? 

 

Yesterday was a beautiful autumn day here in South Carolina.  Just a touch of a breeze with the sun shining - you could wear a t-shirt as the sun kept you warm or long sleeve and the breeze was just enough to keep you cool.  My son and I were antsy to do something.  We also had another family member who just wanted to be loved - any activity that included the family was great by her - our dog Belle.  Our toddler is in the stage where he has a lot to say and is aware of everything and he is fascinated by our dog.  FASCINATED!!!  So we headed outside to play in the yard.  I chased the dog, Drew chased Belle, and everyone was having a wonderful time.  Well enters the scene is our jealous cat.  He is not a fan of many people nor many activities except for sleeping and eating.  But he heard our giggles and someone's squeals of delights.  So Smokey was checking out the scene looking a tish forlorn with a bit of a scowl as he sat on the other side of the screen door.  Our cat was a northern cat so he isn't an outside cat at all.  Kitties don't live outside in Northern North Dakota or they don't see spring :(  But every once in awhile our cat gets a hankering to check out the world surrounding his house.  So usually I leave the screen door up to keep out bugs (I so DISLIKE bugs).  But seeing this pitiful display I tiptoe to the door to open it if kitty should choose to wander outside and left it wide open.  He isn't really a trusting cat.

 

At this point, I should also mention as my son is aware of the dog he is SUPER aware of the cat.  The dog is my son's comrade, nanny, protector, buddy - you name it they are pretty close.  But the cat has no desire to form this bond.  He sees the boy as an adorable terminator with instructions to destroy kitty.  Probably because my son releases a battle cry and runs full speed after any glance of the cat directly towards him like a missile.  This happened yesterday.  Drew is happily kicking/chasing a ball with me as Belle rests to catch her breath.  Smokey tentatively steps out into the big bad world for seven seconds and then hears the high pitch cry of delight from my son as he charges directly towards the cat.  Of course our cat books it back inside.  I slam the screen door shut to give the cat some space from the overeager toddler.  Well all of this commotion encourages our dog to run around the yard like she is in a crazy puppy Indy 500 Sprint kind of thing and all of a sudden she must just get this overwhelming urge to either check on the cat or desire a drink of water.  Because Belle starts to wind in her top speed race type circles and dashes to the door.  Or a better description would be through the door, except she doesn't make it all the way through the door.   She kind of bounces as the tear screams across our sort of screen door.  Now I let out a combination of a guffaw, yelp for the dog, shriek for the pocketbook, and a gulp of air as I try to figure out how to handle this.  The dog seemed okay though a bit skitterish and I slid the door out of the way.  I decided we had all had enough fun and called in both my son and dog.  My son chose to not enter the door because he thinks the game of chase and retrieve the baby are the most fun games around as he giggles in delight.  He has especially mastered the I'm going to run towards you like requested and get as close as two inches away from where your arms reach and then turn around and run as quickly and as far as I can while I giggle uncontrollably.  I like this game so much more around our house/yard than public places (like libraries, church, grocery stores - we play this game a lot!!!)  I then attempted to bring my dog inside  who is all about coming in after playing for a good bit.  She came close to the door and also abruptly turned around.  I figured she wanted to retrieve the boy and I was all for that as I encouraged her "go get Drew - tell him to come inside!"  My son decided the game wasn't as much fun as I stood by the door and did not join in the pursuit.  Plus he could climb the step inside and that's so much fun.  He enters the house and I expect Belle to trot in so proud as she had shepherded the boy inside.  She nears the door and whimpers.  And takes two steps back.  I wave her in - and get frustrated - get inside so I can close the door.  She again steps forward but stops at the threshold - if you have ever seen a vampire movie.  I swear she was acting if there was a power holding her back. 

 

And there was a power - a power of fear.  How many of us fear the return of our downfall?  A reminder of pain we were uncertain we could survive the first time.  We will do anything to avoid the return of that unspeakable pain, discomfort, helplessness that BAM! knocked us to the ground.  We avoid possible patterns, tell lies to ourselves and those around us, we limit interactions, any item or activity that we can control to alter the same consequences.  My dog refused to let this screen door catch her offguard again.  Another example is my brother in high school before he could drive was riding his bike and hurt his finger pretty badly - quite a few stitches.  It took his finger awhile to heal.  Finally, after the splint was removed he was riding bike his again.  His bike slid on some gravel and so concerned about protecting his healed finger he landed badly on his arm and broke it. 

 

I do not say these alarms to protect ourselves are bad.  Some of the BAMS! are great opportunities to learn but with each pain we lose a little bit of faith, our trust begins to tarnish in response to these hurts.  And sometimes we let the fear of the pain repeating cause us to harm ourselves worse or miss out on the blessings because we are afraid of treading to close to that painful territory.  I tried to prove what I could to the dog that she was safe crossing the enterance.  I stepped outside back inside to show no door.  I clapped my hands in several spots.  But it had to be her that took the step of faith back into our home.  She came close and began to gently and gingerly wave her snout near the entrance, she then leaned into her pose to cross her nose over the boundary, and finally lifted her paw in surrender and climbing into the house.  YAY BELLE!!!

 

And Yay you!  On your HealthFULL Journey you probably have seen your share of BAMs!!!  But give yourself a pat on the back and a round of applause because if you are reading this you have survived each and every one of them.  And maybe you are in the midst of one - First I am sorry that you are hurt or boiling over in anger/frustration -But can I tell you something?  You got this.  You are strong and growing stronger everyday.  And the sooner you surrender the helplessness, the anger, the disappointment, the blame, the shame, or the guilt - the sooner you can begin to heal and take the positive steps forward over that daunting edge; steps that you need, that you crave, and that you deserve!  May your HealthFULL Journey never include a BAM you can't conquer and may you always feel FULL - Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life while also living a life FULL of Health. 'Til we meet again. . .

 

I share a picture of my puppy Belle in honor of her bravery and reminding me that even we are scared of the world hitting us back we need to move forward in faith with our heart firmly trusting the Lord. 



Boo goes the Pumpkin

But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. - Matthew 13:23

I once was a summer girl.  My birthday was in the summer. We always traveled on our biggest family vacations in the summer. No school!  We would ride our bikes - everywhere! Especially the pool! The taste of freedom on those bikes with just enough breeze a little change in the pocket for the ice cream treats and cold soda cans from vending machines.  And I used to tan this beautiful gold and the sun naturally highlighting my hair.  What happened?  Now I am so not a fan of the summer - it's buggy, hot, and I always feel sweaty and I no longer tan.  I burn pink and then red rather quickly.  No fun!  But autumn?

Oh how I have fallen in love with autumn (Secretly I would love to name a daughter Autumn Rain - I can share this with you as my husband has vetoed this a bajillion times but I am a die-hard dreamer and still holding out hope :) But the temperatures around here are just perfect for layers and jeans.  My favorite outfit.  The leaves are just majestic.  And some of my favorite produce appears in the markets.  I love my berries in the summer those reds and blues and maroon blacks - yummy, sweet and tart.  But when the crispness of the air starts to appear its apple and yes wait for it ..... the beautiful greens, oranges, reddish tones play out for the wonderful Winter squash season - can we say delicious?   And minus the turban squash (my arch-nemesis) the rest of the squash family is always a go-to for a super tasty, filling, and easy side item/entree.  You can see my entry last year how the turban squash and I fought.  I always like to claim victory but as they begin to appear in stores I physically turn my cart around at the sight of these amazingly grotesque but yet disturbingly attractive sculptures of produce.  But no handy chef knife will slide through these heavy duty squashes.  The work did not equal the reward - so I steer clear.  But if you are having an autumn party they would make phenomenal center pieces. 

But yes the squashes have hit the supermarkets and now my home.  We sit with a two spaghetti squashes and one butternut squash (by far the family favorite as it makes a simple but tasty roasted side or can also be used in a cozy heart-warming  soup. )  And here comes our fruit/veggie of the week - A White Pumpkin.  I believe the grocery store just called it a mixed pumpkin. 

Boo - Happy Autumn :)

So why the white pumpkin?  If you have read my produce of the week I am a sucker for non-typical color choices.  Pumpkins are always thought of as orange.  As the white pumpkin sat a couple of weeks on our counter (love that squash has a sturdy shelf life) I always chuckled at the sight of it.  I thought two things.  Its a ghost pumpkin which sounds like a fantastic halloween mascot/symbol.  And two it looks like someone washed away all the orange and here sits this morose pumpkin without its cheery festive orange color.  After several conversations and hints from my husband that it would just make his day to come home and the pumpkin no longer stealing our counter space I decided to tackle the pumpkin project.

Who doesn't have great pumpkin memories?  The carving, the baked goods (my dad makes fantastic pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie and even yummy pumpkin seeds.) This used to be one of our fall traditions.  My dad was in charge of pumpkin duty and I was honored to be his assistant.  I gathered and picked through pumpkin guts when we would carve our two family pumpkins which I believe I did most years up to my junior or senior year in high school.  I do enjoy holiday traditions - the cheesier the activity the better right ? :)  And I was assigned certain duties for pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread - I was ALWAYS the sifter for pumpkin bread.  We had a squeeze sifter that I used over wax paper. After I married my hubby the amazing chef of our household.  He asked me to sift and I was so excited as this was a kitchen task both familiar and fun.  Smiling to myself as I was going to dazzle my hubby with my amazing skills he hands me this tin mug with a crank.  Ummmm what is that?  He shrugged and had the audacity to raise his eyebrows with the reply "A sifter".  Ummmmm no.  My sifter of choice is a tupperware equivalent with a orange top with a handle that you squeeze and part of the top swivels back and forth as it passes the dry ingredients.  Don't give me this lose sieve with a weird crank.  A girl has her pride and loyalty to childhood traditions.  Plus my daddy used to praise my sifting skills my husband again shrugged his shoulders and offered "then don't sift its not that big of deal."  Oh its a big deal! 

But I digress back to the white pumpkin.  It was intimidating!  I tackled the pumpkin in the past as an assistant letting the leader navigate the recipe and the portions.  I don't know what to do with this pumpkin - soup, bread, pastry, treat it like squash?  And the size I wasn't sure exactly how this broke down. One dish, two, three, six? I don't know.  So I decided I wanted pumpkin seeds and to puree the rest and throw it in the freezer until I had the wits about me and measurements.  Wow - I know why I procrastinated with this huge white pumpkin.  It's a lot of work to cook this produce with no true path.  We did roast the pumpkin seeds using the fabulous "Roasted Pumpkin Seeds" recipe from www.epicurious.com    

Ingredients

Ingredients
2 cups pumpkin seeds, rinsed and dried
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 drops hot pepper sauce

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Line a baking pan with aluminum foil.
2. Stir together the pumpkin seeds and butter in a bowl. Add the salt, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, and hot pepper sauce; stir. Spread the seeds in a single layer on the baking pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven until crispy, about 45 minutes.

Read More http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/ROASTED-PUMPKIN-SEEDS-51179871#ixzz2AHWC70SU

Ohhh so good!  I am so debating if we should buy at least one more pumpkin for just the seeds.  Such a tasty snack - little savory, little spice, little salt, little sweet and fantastic crunch!!! When you first cut into the white pumpkin you may be surprised that the flesh is a pale yellow.  I think I still expected that bright orange flesh that screams "Happy Halloween".  But the seeds were pretty easy to remove as the pumpkin guts weren't as gloppy as I remember.  Not sure if that is the difference between the white pumpkin and the traditional orange carving style pumpkins.  Or if I am not the same and didn't puposely dig through the flesh in search of every single seed.

We do things - simple actions, big gestures, innocent comments that people observe, record in their memories and base opinions or judgements.  The quiet moments when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and unscripted are when people truly witness our contributions and our character.  My dad had no idea how much I would still treasure those fall days where we baked pumpkins and I still can see where I sat to sift my ingredients on the wax paper and smell the spice of pumpkin goods.  I can only hope that my son is starting to build his own scrapbook of the memories that will warm his heart about his childhood.  Our witness about our spiritual journeys, our mental conquests, our physical feats, our heartfelt passions, and/or our simple acts of charity need not be grand or over-the-top crazy or perfectly molded - they just need to be sincere.  And hopefully when we do good, with God's grace and blessing some of our actions will be seeds that fall into good soil to encourage the growth of others. May God bless you and keep you - 'til we meet again. . .

To Seek is to Discover

"Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding." --Romans 14:19

 

 

Day 2 as a Stay at home Mommy had a rough start we were playing a hidden treasure/ scavenger hunt/ follow the leader and I was unaware of the target.  Have you ever had a boss ream you out in a language you don't understand?  For fifteen minutes I had an irate toddler gesturing frantically, grunting, bellowing, and chiding at me in toddlerese.  I adore the kid I promise you but he is kind of a grumpy bear when he wakes up.  This morning he pointed immediately to the rocking chair.  Which usually at night means rock me mommy/daddy and sing/hum me a lullaby or two or five.  This is not our normal morning routine.  But I am a new employee eager to comply and smooth out all interactions.  Well we hit the rocker and flailed our arms with a scream of protest.  Ahhh morning point to the rocker does not mean sit.  I asked jokingly, I asked matter of factly, I pointed out suggestions and none could help solve the miscommunication.  I tried to go on with our morning as if he didn't have a dire message to share with me.  Diaper change was an obstacle course, a few tears from both parties, but then back to the morning hunt/argument.  You may have noticed the angry Donald Duck stomp is the best visual of how my son appeared after twelve minutes of my incompetence/ignorance.  By this time we had tried sitting in the rocking chair four times, the recliner twice, two offers of breakfast in the high chair and at least ten rounds of bedroom to living room and total meltdown when we closed his bedroom door.  (Which we do daily so this was especially alarming.)  Finally, he said something about da-da - ah a word I understand.  And something that resembled where da-da?  Victory I think I know what or I should say whom we've been searching - bad news daddy had only been at work for ten minutes.  I tried reaching him on the phone thinking this may bring peace to our home.  Of course no answer.  So I opened the garage.  And somehow - this gesture - this act - brought calmness to our chaos.  Drew was pleased with the missing car.  Maybe he understood that I wasn't hiding his daddy from him.  Maybe he was excited to play in an area of the house he rarely sees minus departures and arrivals.  Maybe he was tired of yelling at mommy.  Regardless I felt victorious and the world's best detective/crisis manager by 8:10 this morning.  But a fifteen minute berating takes a toll even if the boss is an adorable almost two year old.  Unto our next task - breakfast.  Easy peasy. 

Now chore time!  Its kind of like Double Chores which then doubles again.  My son loves to take out the trash.  So I handed him some garbage he grabbed his best friend and the three of us trekked through our yard to dispose of the mounting garbage.  Sure it takes longer to actually trek the shole way but the boss looks so smug when he does his part.  From trash we moved unto clutter piles - I do love me a good clutter pile - if you saw my house it appears I collect them as they multiply quickly (especially if you ignore them like I have :) So we attacked the clutter - which means I tried to straighten and my li'l wonder felt attacking the clutter meant we should physically attack the clutter.  Throw it, stomp it, eat it, push it, hit it - you get the idea.  This chore is done in small increments for sanity and safety reasons (especially when we get to the biting/eating portion). 

After lunch and a lengthy nap -( Naps alone are a victory and a beautiful reminder why the schedule needed some fiddling ) - we did another small round of clear clutter and then break time.  I love the thought of routines and deadlines and goals to accomplish.  I also am a huge procrastinator without some schedule.  So as a motivation tool and to truly appreciate this time with my son I have a goal to do something fun/productive/out of the rut - crafty, experiment, field trips/errands.  Something stimulating - don't get me wrong I love the goldie oldies (everyday toys, dances, books, songs) but I want him to learn about the world and me to have the chance to learn about him.  So we did our Speech therapy homework of shapes - we colored them and stickered them and it was the best part of my day.  I get caught up in activities, schedules, lists, daydreams, etc.  I seek perfection and extremes.  But for that time I was present.  I was giggling, I was coloring and playing with stickers (probably my favoritest thing to collect since I was six - weird but totally true factoid :) , I was in the world I imagined. 

After two loads of laundry it was unto another fantastic dinner if I must confess.  Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs with tomatoes.  YUM!  It felt a little bit victorious to eat two nights in a row before seven as a family eating the same meal.  Also using up ingredients that usually are bought with the best intentions and then sadly forgotten and thrown out in total waste.  But not this week.  This week the tomatoes found a home in our bellies and not the garbage can.  I know - it's the little victories.  Plus I made extras of the pancakes for the freezer (ha ha take that frozen waffles!!!)

It's the honeymoon phase of the job.  Call me cocky - call me naive but I just think I might still be in love with this job after the first two weeks.  But we will see :)  A part of me has secretly craved this job for two years but sadly I didn't think I was qualified or up to the challenge.  And another part feared boredom.  Its looking like it is even better than what I dreamed.  May your HealthFULL Journey pursue your desires that will bring peace and upbuilding to yourself and those around you.  For when we follow God's Will everything has its own way of working itself out. God's blessings until we meet again. . .



Call me Suzy Homemaker :)

 

"Train children in the right way,

and when old, they will not stray." --Proverbs 22:6

 

 I've started yet another new job.  The hours are long and demanding - the pay is pretty much zilch (literally!) and the boss, well at least my immediate daily supervisor - whew - misses NOTHING!  Here - meet my boss - Mr. Drew - 

 

 

Yes, my boss is a little bit precious.  A little bit adorable - but don't let him fool you - he is demanding and misses NOTHING!  Bathroom breaks are not tolerated and no sneaking off for an early coffee break - munchies will be shared or there will be none. 

 

 

Why the change?  I loved the challenge of my last job opportunity and the kids were enthusiastic and entertaining.  But the schedule was wrecking havoc here at home.  I was scheduled 2:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. with roughly a half hour drive time either direction.  This did not include the drop-off schedule for caretakers.  And my son is an afternoon napper.  Which means it was too late to start a nap after switching caretakers or too early for nap to be done.  For two weeks this kid was working on less than ten to thirty (luxury version and rare!) minute naps. The earliest dinner happened was 7:00 pm.  Note I said earliest and that is not helpful for a toddler nor his parents.  Plus Monday through Friday with afternoon childcare needs we were always coming up a day short for childcare.  Someone had appointments, or my husband had a funny work schedule, or some random emergency and we were always struggling and complaining (I was more the complainer and the whiner - but the whole house suffered!)  So with a lot of prayer and discussion we realized we weren't benefitting from the job as much as we hoped.  With a daily afternoon obligation I wasn't quite motivated to dive into some of the big organization projects I have piling up around here.  Plus, the point of working part-time was to actually spend time with my son and that's not really quality time as he chases me around for attention and then destroys the area I have neatened - frustrating us all.  The extra income was going to gas, childcare, and eating out as we were trying to eat somewhat together somewhat early.  And housework wasn't happening,  I tried to code it in organization but I must reiterate housework was very low on the priority list - laundry and dishes were bare minimum to keep the house functioning, but otherwise very VERY low on the list.  And family time was schedules, clean (insert laundry and dishes here), fretting, and the occasional giggle. 

 

 

So as we wait for God's next whisper I am doing the job I have feared and secretly desired since my son's birth.  To be a stay at home mom.  Why a fear?  I am not one to clean nor cook really.  And being a mom sometimes still shocks me.  That this adorable toddler and I are connected for LIFE - that's a forever kind of commitment!  But the good things are too many to count.  I already feel accomplished for the first day.

 

I played with my son as we looked at books, chased each other around, danced (the kid has some fancy and hysterical moves), cuddled for television, and just randomly chatted and moved in the same space.  He helped me do three loads of laundry, took a long enough nap for me to tackle most of the master bathroom (it had hit EW! status), sweep, vacuum, change kitty litter, took an early morning bath, had an Early Interventionist appointment, straightened countertops, and with a little assistance from my hubby we cooked cheesy beer bread with chicken n dumplings.  YUM!!! I have never made a dumpling until today.  It is one of those comfort dinners of my childhood that seemed a perfect challenge for a beautiful autumn day when all three members of our family have some sort of cold. 

 

And the best part - my husband asked me tonight if I felt stressed and I giggled no!  I can't tell you the last evening I could have answered that question with a genuine no.  Oh there are challenges - like the small mountains of clutter that have taken residence.  There is the establishing a rhythm of my son and I and the balance of  this new role such as time and expectations of both my husband and myself.  And finances *gulp*.  But for the first time I am embracing TODAY!  Today I get to spend time with my son. I might find a new job tomorrow, next week, next month - who knows?  But I have today to enjoy my life, my family, my home and I am going to cherish it. 

 

This experience is a gift from my true boss - God.  And also a gift from my partner, my soul mate, my co-pilot in this parenting gig - my amazing hubby - who handles life with such a sense of ease.  And a gift to truly get to know my little wonder.  He's a tough boss with a good heart!  So I take the challenge with enthusiasm and anticipation for the rewards like this:

 

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life.  We have today to spend with those we love and accomplish what really matters.  If tomorrow doesn't come are you happy with how you handled today?   God Bless 'til we meet again. . .