It sure Ain't Easy, but it Sure is a lot of F-U-N!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

  according to His power that is at work within us, - Ephesians 3:20 NIV




What I Imagined. . .

What is. . .

I know why we aren't allowed to foresee our lives because we wouldn't take the necessary steps to move forward.  Are you familiar with The Dance by Garth Brooks?  The whole song is about how isn't it great life is left up to chance and choices and surprises then us handpicking our stories.  Why - because if we knew the endings we wouldn't take the beginning steps.  And without that first step because of fear of the ending we would miss too many stories, too many opportunities, too many lessons, and too many precious memories.  We are conditioned to avoid pain.  Do you believe me?  Think of the next time you have to endure something painful - handling paper after paper cut, a shot/vaccine, washing out a wound, touching something hot. How do we respond -  we flinch, we pull away, we hesitate - we react in ways that show caution and hopefully steps that will help us avoid further pain. 

Today was a rough day.  I have decided that torture is trying to put two babies to sleep simultaneously.  Parents of twins - I salute you!  Granted I took a misstep that I will avoid to lessen my chances of repeating this painful scenario.  I forgot my son's stuffed Lion.  It happens, right?  My husband and I are fortunate parents we have a pretty easy-going sweet child (so much more his daddy's son - I just benefit :)  Oh holy Toledo Batman!  This child went ballistic, hysterical, and drove me to tears.  For 46 minutes out of fifty - he screamed, he cried, he pitched the tantrum of tantrums today.  He is twenty months old and obviously does not believe he is capable of a nap without his best buddy!  What was even worse? The three year old was actually trying to "nap".  Usually her and I go toe to toe, but not today!  Today I was locked in the battle of wills - would a nap commence.  I sang, I rocked, I cuddled, I tightened hug, I cooed, I whispered, I giggled, I paced, and my son SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAMED in my ear, near the quiet three year old.  I finally walked through the house as the other kids were on lock-down while we tried to create a peaceful, quiet, almost serene naptime area for the two youngest.  Sadly, the toddlers missed the memo.  Not one but two children asked why aren't the two youngest asleep yet.  Great question!  And I not had a obnoxious piercing scream destroying my hearing abilities I believe I could have answered more wisely or at least more patiently.  However I sputtered out with dripping sarcasm, "I Don't Know!"  Losing my mind!!!  We returned to the recliner to once again commence naptime.  The tantrum began, the screaming escalated into short breaths of hyperventilation and mutterings of a desperate prayer - breathing deepened, limbs relaxed, and utter exhaustion took hold of both children. 

It would be easy to run my victory lap - I did it - both toddlers are resting at the same time!!! Amazing right?  But it was God's abilities and my willingness to concede defeat.  In our weakness God shows His Glory.  I like to be the best.  I like to attain almost perfect scores and everything to be precise and if I am going to accomplish something I want to knock out a homerun the first time at bat.  Can we all hit a Hole-In-One?  Absolutely!  Can we do it our first time swinging the golf club? Doubtful, but possible.  Will we accomplish this goal every time we tee-off?  Nope.  Should we stop golfing altogether?  Not really. . .We miss those chances to be great because we don't want to risk the ending of failing of hitting rock-bottom. 

I worked for a good company before becoming a nanny.  They were beyond generous and supportive through my schooling, working a second job, and my pregnancy and the challenging beginning days of my son.  But I stayed too long at the office job that I was qualified to do but not passionate to improve.  It wasn't my calling and I knew that far before I handed in my resignation.  But it was comfortable and as I said a great place to work.  They took care of me.  But I began to suffocate and I leapt at the chance to be nanny.  Let me get this straight you want me to hang out and play games with five awesome kids where I can also bring my son to play.  Uhhh Yes please!  I imagined weekly trips to the library, daily adventures through our imagination, never skipping a devotion as we clamored together to share in God's Word.  Ummmm well we have done some of that.  I thought there would be lots of giggles and smiles and fun.  We sometimes laugh and have fun but there is a lot of the backstory I quickly edited from my plans - the bickering, the tantrums, the sulking, the pouting, the fights, the name-calling, the anger, the sadness, the - well you get the point.  It is downright taxing.  And its easy to get caught up in the frustrations - they tend to spurn each other. 

But then whats even better than my imagined version of gumdrops, lolli-pops and oozing sweet pictures of working with children bliss are those quiet moments.  The moment where my son curls into the lap of his oldest cousin.  The squeals of delight from their youngest as their middle child chases her with enthusiasm.  As the whole group deliberates and discusses the most strategic puzzle placement.  The boys reaching a peace treaty to play fairly. 

I wouldn't trade it.  Oh don't get me wrong if you had flashed the emotions and the daily energy withdrawals required by this job I would probably run for the hills.  But for every frustration, every drop of sweat, and every tear shed - I have at least five smiles and giggles upon giggles of what I've learned, witnessed, and been blessed by.  And this is all possible - because I admitted to God - though I was okay at the office job I was weak in passion.  He answered my prayer with a powerful response that maxed out my passion, my energy, and my talents and all he required a step of faith.  Its okay to take that first step without knowing the last - actually its better than okay its what we are supposed to do.  We are tempted to wait for those "perfect" moments but then we get caught waiting as precious blessings float right by.  Be encouraged!  A step of faith may not guarantee perfection but it sure is a lot of F-U-N!

May your HealthFULL Journey be adventurous, full of Faith, and surrounded by F-U-N. 'Til we meet again . . .    



Its not that Health is on the backburner. . .

Its just that there are so many hours in the days!

"So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart." - Psalms 90:12

What do you think? Do we like the logo - or not?

I try! I can not emphasize this statement enough - I try!  I want to be a great mom. A good wife. An awesome Christian.  A wise entrepreneur.  A fun nanny. A sweet daughter. A bubbly friend. An inspirational blogger.  And some days I can hit one or even two of those titles.  But a majority of the time I feel overwhelmed, under-prepared, and pretty much a babbling crazy loon!  And that tends to be the good days :)  No its not that bad....all the time....just some of the time. Part of the problem is I have issues with real concepts vs imaginary ideals on paper concepts.  On paper I can budget to the penny or schedule every one of my "duties" and responsibilities with time to spare for "me" time.  However, in reality the baby doesn't wake up when I pencil in the start of his morning routine.  The traffic in real life never factors in my on paper schedule to be smooth going and no accidents!  And budgeting - let's just say I am using the ads of the 1980's and freak out every time I see a "real" price tag.  What? Bread costs more than a dollar?  A 2 liter bottle of pop costs more than seventy-five cents?  Stop this nonsense right now!    

So what happens?  I do the best I can - its all that any of us can do, right?  We plug along and try to accomplish what we can accomplish in a day.  I was ecstatic for this adventure to become a nanny.  It has blessed me every day - countless times a day - it also has exhausted my mental capabilities - my physical endurance (and this insane heat has not helped!) - and my emotional state swings like a pendulum from the extremes - but we push through, right?  We muddle, we smile, and we hope and pray.  In the free time I try to grow my idea into a business.  So far no takers at www.awriteword.org but I continue to putter around with advertising and the site.  *tweak* *chisel* Think, think, think . . . I send out resumes left and right and left and right.  As I look at the calendar and notice four weeks until my nanny gig is finished.  Its easy at the beginning of a journey or adventure to step out in faith and good spirits.  But as the calendar ticks by my nerves begin to twitch!  I know God has a plan and I can't wait to see what direction we go - but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a tish nervous!!! 

We have lost the art of the truth in covering up our imperfections.  Oh no I am fine!  We've got plenty of time to finish that project! You look great!  I feel awesome - no these bags under my eyes are just a color palette trick I'm playing - you think they make me look tired - Not at all *yawn* and on an on we spin these tall tales, white lies, little fibs to push through our maniac schedules.  But in the end what is the point of the craziness?  Does my son feel less loved because he had frozen chicken tenders, again?  Did the world stop because I haven't blogged in over a week? You get the picture.  I don't mean to advocate we should all give up our responsibilities.  It is good to be organized and dependable.  But it is also important to acknowledge our human attributes and admit - I am not having a streak of perfection.  However, I can report I am doing the best I can.  I try to find sneaky ways to exercise (whatever you can knock out the earliest is so beneficial - it allows the rest of the day to be bonus :)  We continue to plan our meals - which is a lifesaver repeatedly.  This simple fifteen minutes of truly assessing your pantry bounty and scouring the sales ads two times a week - saves you money, time, and headaches/heartaches. 

I can state that although life feels crazy and my eyes begin to close earlier and earlier with less and less on my to do list crossed off - I am Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be a time to embrace your FULL health to create your best version of yourself so that you too can Feel Unbelievable and Love Life! 'Til we meet again. . .

Encouraging Words Dear Friends

 I know you're my friend, because we've laughed and we've cried - together!

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.  - John 15:13

Time moves quickly and life gets busy.  I think we all know that a little too well.  We count reading a FB status or a Tweet as staying in touch with loved ones.  A quick text is common to communicate family whereabouts.  And not seeing a person you live with for a day or two, is becoming a bit too common.  We forget how as humans we crave that comforting touch or harbor such a passionate desire to hear words of encouragement from those we cherish - and a text just doesn't satisfy those urgings.

I've learned I have a real problem with perfection-itis because I crave those pats on the head letting me know I'm a good girl!

Two days ago was my hubby's and my nine year anniversary.  It went semi-unnoticed from most people including us. We had some obligations and plan to have a grown-up date Saturday night.  Well one of those commitments was a church gathering.  Could we have missed? Sure!  Would people have minded all that much? Probably not.  But as I am cruising on a Health FULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life - Yep this acronym has changed for the better :) Journey; I have come to realize how important it is to keep real relationships with people past our immediate family that include true connections that extend past the computer or phone screens. And when we met with this group we had a task of creating a bookmark - a simple beautiful bookmark.  Let me correct that - It LOOKS simple.  Oh my perfectionist side came out and she is a bit intense and slightly bitter.  I for the life of me could not complete that task in what I felt was a timely manner.  And though we are trying to complete this project - I missed the true reason of the night - I missed the connection of friends -those moments where you share your happiness and your challenges. 

These last couple of days (and sort of weeks) have been a wonderful reminder of how friends can turn my frowns upside down. I would like to share a few :)

That Thursday night I received a call around 11:30 at night.  Who calls this late?  Those who matter who usually have something important to share.  It was a call from my oldest friend - I am 31 and our friendship has lasted almost twenty-seven years.  Its a call worth taking.  She has some things going on but that's not why she really called.  She just needed to chat.  She needed to shoot the breeze and escape from the intense moments suffocating her life.  She needed to hear that life was carrying on outside of their family's heartache.  A reminder that normalcy may one day return.  She needed that time and so did I.

Yesterday (Friday morning)  I went to work as a nanny.  Many mornings the kids come running out the door to greet me, especially if they know I am bringing my son.  But not a peep - not crazy because the morning was already looking a bit dreary.  I climb the steps to the house that appears semi-dark and open the door to a loud resounding perfectly group of five children shouting HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!  (For a moment I felt like I accidently ruined the surprise for someone's surprise party and realized the enthusiastic orchestrated moment was indeed for me - a day late which may be why it was such a SURPRISE, but still it was very touching :) 

Friday night I texted back and forth with a friend from middle school - We are months shy of hitting our 20 year friendship anniversary mark - wow the significance of my hubby's and my nine year seems to be dwindling quickly :) 

In our brief exchange we shared words about our relationship - triggered high school memories - and commented on the women we are today.  I'm not against texting as it may have sounded early in this blog - but this exchange was a bit sweeter and more current as I did just see her for the first time in three years just over a week ago.  We actually hugged, smiled, and our children played together all in the same room - it was fabulous!!! And a poignant reminder - its nice to have tons of FB friends to share the highlight reel of our lives - but nothing like a true friend with a REAL connection - that not only includes the highlight reel but the backstory, the outline that made this all come to be and the complete story with added commentary.

And dispersed among the stories shared I have received several messages that I wasn't quite expecting - aren't those sometimes the best words to hear/read?  When you see you have an e-mail or FB message there is a good chance you are expecting a reply from someone or the close circle of friends you expect to drop you a line.  But no I had not one but two messages from people that I have shared significant moments with but as friendships tend to do over time have faded.  It's nice to be remembered and encouraged.  I can't express what a blessing they were and how they both touched my heart  to read these words from these special people That's why I picked the opening scripture I did.  Yes sacrificing your life for another is the greatest gift but we only one of those that we can do.  I also like to read this scripture verse as a reminder - that we can daily lay our life down for others.  Would I have liked to go to bed instead of picking up the phone to chat. Possibly I was pretty tired - but my friend needed time and a listening ear - I've been in that spot.  When you already are feeling down and can't get someone on the phone doesn't that crush your spirit just a bit harder?  It does mine. Did the kids have to wish my a happy anniversary? No the day had passed but the extra effort and the sweet intention with such enthusiasm was more touching than a passing almost obligatory congrats.  Connecting with an old friend is always a gift.  But it took coordination, money, time, and lots of effort on both ends to arrange that long-overdue visit :)  And those extra words probably didn't take hours but mere minutes to send my way - but they will warm my heart for quite awhile. 

We forget the little things do matter.  Its okay to take shortcuts now and then (a text, an e-mail) but we as humans do need to lay down our lives - our "busyness" and take time for what really matters to truly share our lives, our time with those who matter.  Because it is in those moments we build, strengthen, and protect our relationships.

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with heartwarming moments as you and those you love take time to lay down your lives for one another. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Gettin' Down to Business



http://www.clker.com/clipart-2225.html

And you show that you are a letter of Christ, prepared by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.  2 Corinthians 3:3

Life has been busy.  But if it wasn't busy - it wouldn't be life!  Crazy I know.  I'm lovin' life and truly exhausted but in the past week I thought hey lets add some extra fun which I really mean to translate to stress.  Yup stress!  I have decided to create my own business and see what that entails.  I am so excited to share with you my concept - please visit www.awriteword.org to get the full picture. Do you freak out at the thought of having to make a toast or you want to personalize your child's birthday invitations but don't know what to say?  Visit my site where we help you say what you mean with the rights for your special occasions.  There are a lot of how-to kind of sites.  But at my site we don't talk AT you - we collaborate WITH you!

Honestly, I am nervous of failure.  But I am tired of having regrets because too many times I have retreated at the mere thought of failure.  Oh my critic has been yelling non-stop for a week.  This can't work.  There will be too many hiccups.  What if no one hires you?  What if your site crashes? What if *Blah blah blah*!!! So often by the third downer debbie comment from my inner critic I shut down.  But not this time.  This time I seized the day and created a web site.  Was it easy? No.  Was it fun? Sometimes. . . Was it exhausting - A RESOUNDING YES!!! Would I do it again?  Absolutely!

I have learned quite a few lessons on the way in my first full week of starting a business.  My top five lessons or experiences of starting the website. 

#1 - Run the idea by some sane people.  When you are a dreamer like me you should check it with the family and friends you trust.  Sure you may here a critique here or there (and not always strictly limited to your concept.  When you ask for advice beware the gloves may come off and the words may begin to fly. You've been warned!) There is a lot to describe and design. You DON'T have to take every reply as the end-all of the whole project but a diverse crowd gives you a sampling of how the public may view this idea.  Honestly I thought there would be more protests or dreamer wisecracks.  But actually all of my friends and family have been incredibly supportive.  Shocking that those I consider close want to support me :)  I was expecting more protest but have heard a lot of encouragement.  "Interesting concept" - "Intriguing Idea" tend to be the top-runners of the comments.  It's like the world is going silent and people are grabbing their popcorn and drinks and getting comfy.  Will this or won't this idea work? As a hush falls over the crowd their are slight murmurs.  "I don't know if this idea will work but I would love to see the underdog survive to fight another day".  A few people may be ready to see the big fall - but I feel the love of so many others who are ready to applaud. 

#2 -  Since no one convinced me I was beyond crazy for trying this idea I went to www.godaddy.com and purchased a couple of website addresses.  My husband and I had talked about this possibility and there is no time like the present to start.  Then it was time to find a website designer.  I didn't want to pay for a design but then I remembered - I know VERY little about computers.  Enough to type and play games and read my e-mail.  This may surprise you but I d not speak computer code.  It didn't take long to realize that purchasing a web design wouldn't be all that bad of an idea.  I ended up www.Wix.com and www.intuit.com.  Both sites offered a free domain with differrent levels of participation.  Which would have been beneficial before I actually clicked on my first purchase to build this business.  Live and learn, right?

#3 - When you think you have said all you can on the website or that I have reached the elite status of finished through my templates design.  There's more - more to say, more to do, just more - a lot more.  There seems to always be a couple of loose ends to change to tie the whole system together or reach a resolution.  It may be my personal business and some might call me the boss. It tends to feel like the computer may be office manager who doesn't take any excuses or laziness.  So I describe the product, the process, my personal biography.  I flip through images repeatedly.  I lay out words and pictures and hope and pray it is worthwhile.  You begin to type in a zone Again wishing to complete this new adventure and go fishing - but I don't. . . at least not yet!

#4 - Keep the body fine-tuned.  Maybe the rule should read "You should keep the body fine-tuned".I have gotten back on diet soda - a lot!!!  Also chips have been doing the rounds.  And by rounds I mean mouth to mouth - to the hip And sleep - Next question!!! Even now my eyes drop close together in a burrowed brow.

#5 - Sink or Swim ?  It's not easy to say world give me your best shot because every attempt can be the move to stop the company. Or more likely the non-movement - without customers, without advertising - but without their input.  A Write Word.org could be an amaing success or a wild flop.  *Fingers crossed* for the former.  But at the end of the day I can rest my head on my pillow knowing I did all I could - Sink or Swim .  Let's hope for  a swim!