You've Goat to be "kid"ding me!!!

   

courtesy of www.tagweed.com

 

 

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ...

 ---Matthew 25:31-46 ESV  

 

Last week was a week where you just hope to survive.  Rules are good but not dealbreakers.  Healthy eating probably not going to happen.  Clean house - a nice dream.  Happy home - sounds good on paper.  But those transition weeks are just overwhelming.  I ended my dream nanny job Tuesday and began my new job Thursday with a dr. appointment in between.  And I was worried that
I was going to be without a job for a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng period of time - pffft!  Funny how we worry about things that never come to light.  Then we complain about the things that we hoped would happen - at least that seems to be a common pattern of my life. 

Which also meant last week was a new childcare routine.  Oh the things I took for granted in life before being a mom - long showers, hot meals, quiet, and schedules.  Oh the nightmare of scheduling appointments, childcare, even spontaneous moments of fun need to be scheduled or they just don't happen :)  What was new about this childcare routine?  Besides church where I am actually in the building - I was leaving my baby with a care provider not directly related to me:(  For almost the first 22 months of life ( minus NICU and nursery) my son has been supervised by myself, hubby, or grandmas.  Oh how would we have survived without the grandmas I can't imagine!  But we needed to make a few changes with my new work schedule and that meant enlisting the help of a dear friend who is a fabulous mommy and my numero Uno pick if it couldn't be family. 

This meant a new location.  I have been to my friend's house several times, I had my GPS and texted directions and I still got lost.  I'm talking way lost!  I argued with the GPS - I closed out my texted instructions and I clung to bits of my memory to string together a path to their house.  Directions aren't my thing - but with an almost two year old in the car and the minutes ticking closer to my second day of work I had to pull it together and figure out a solution.  I decided to turn around and start from scratch.  And that's when I saw them.  It was one of those sights that you blink your eyes to see if you are so stressed that you are hallucinating.  Nope - definitely real.  I saw a pack of goats.  Not one not two.  But at least 20 goats skipping along merrily in someone's yard.  Not a farm but someone's yard.  And I'm thinking to myself - how lost am I that I am seeing goats? 

Oh it had been a week of highs and lows and just feeling completely overwhelmed.  Last Tuesday I stood there crying in my brother's office as I no longer would be a nanny for my fabulous nieces and nephews.  He is Mr. Sensitive when it comes to me and questions "Why are you crying - you are going to see them again - you're their aunt."  I know, but its different.  I won't hear the daily thoughts.  I won't hear about their crazy dreams at breakfast or why their moods changed or that their favorite color changed three times within a day.  On paper it might sound a bit strange or even the tiniest bit boring - but it is these little conversations that were like precious gems of our time together.  And my bidding them good-bye as they began school I was losing a job of comfort - being aware of the expectations, familiar surroundings and knowing for the most part the kids and their temperaments.  For I knew within two days new job with a clean slate - new environment, different kids, and piecing together what is expected.  It's challenging.  Somewhat taxing. And Extremely Overwhelming. 

There are new routines, new directions, and new expectations to be established and conveyed.  Working forty hour weeks was a new challenge and some of the housekeeping and organization duties went away for the summer.  This omission added to the chaos that led to my wandering of streets and stumbling upon the goats.  So after Friday it was time to establish a better foundation one that is strong and organized - not weak and cluttered from schedules, to household, to care of my family it was time to start.  I chose the pantry - I am going to disclose a picture - it is the START of clearing my pantry and my opportunity to establish order in what began to feel like an overwhelming ocean of chaos. 

You may be thinking "You've Goat to be "kid"ding me!!! " But this is truly 3/4 of my pantry!

 

It was time to reclaim my sanity and that meant start organizing my home once again.   You may see duplicate products.  We are running all the time to the grocery store forgetting lists and not knowing was was hidden in the pantry.  I took inventory of our freezer that is packed to full capacity - almost in need of a sign - "Open door at own risk!"  Insane!  Is the pantry all that needed an overhaul? No!  But it was striking a nail and helping me to reclaim my peace of mind with each pound of the hammer.    It took goats for me to see that I was lost but with a little help, a little time, and a little extra concentration I am going to forge my new path.  It's time to say farewell to chaos and reclaim my peace of mind.

 

May your HealthFULL Journey include peace of mind with little clutter to overwhelm you so that you too don't have to utter " You've Goat to be "kid"ding me!!! " 'Til we meet again. . .

 

Fully Dressed with a Smile

Two of my biggest blessings to smile about :)

" For the Mighty One has done great things for me ---holy is his name." ---Luke 1:49 NIV

Life is awesome right now! I am floating on Cloud 9 and can't stop SMILING!!!  In the last week I have had three separate compliments on my appearance - that I look good.  And my first thought is I haven't lost weight according to my scale or clothes.  So what's really different?  Then the lightbulb clicked and I realized I smile these days.  Also if I am being completely honest, I swagger (not wiggle and jiggle which is what happens when I lack confidence and forget to dress with a smile :)  I actually have confidence back because I have a goal - a purpose.  I can move full speed ahead because I am aware of my direction.  Can my journey throw me a surprise curve? Absolutely!  But at least having a goal leads to a path with a true direction instead of wandering aimlessly in circles throwing up my hands and shrugging - I don't know where I'm going or which direction to go.  Should I keep walking? Sit down? Give up? Cry?  Because on this HealthFULL Journey I have absolutely done that list. 



This is me preparing dinner - Braised Short Ribs

So why am I smiling?  Because this is the year I am going to truly lose this excess of 100+ pounds!  How do I know?  Three secrets - I'm claiming my life -meaning I am a true active participant in my decisions, my actions, and my results.  Some may think - aren't we all active in our own lives? The answer is No!  And I know this because I wasn't. I let others make my choices - little things like what do I want for lunch, what show do I want to watch, or what words are appropriate to say.  I don't want to hurt or offend anyone and that means Suzy's opinions get brushed under the rug due to my perception of others.  That's right my perception.  Which is not 100% accurate.  Which means I say or do not say certain opinions because I fear offending or hurting someone else's feelings without KNOWING if it will.  I am a pretty easy-going person - somewhat adaptable.  Most restaurants or meals I can figure out a solution to find something I enjoy or prefer eating and the same with television or movies or can suffer through an episode or two.  But there is a point of being easy-going and totally disappearing into the background as others live their lives around me and I just sit back and live theirs.  Nobody wants that.  How am I staking claim in my own life?  I am choosing my schedule for the most part. Obviously I discuss things with my husband as we are part of a pretty fabulous family unit.  But I am voicing things I think are important - like finding time to work out and a place that will hold me accountable (discuss this more in a moment :)  And I am cooking more for the family.  I am aware of the kitchen and how to actually cook foods and not just heat up a frozen pizza.  I need a little extra time to get organized and build some true cooking knowledge.  I am a beginner and I want to work towards champion status or at least a worthwhile competitor instead of a whiny ignorant novice that freaks out at the sight of the big box like appliance with knobs that spews heat with some hot rings on top.  (Or what most would call an oven/stove :) 

Next secret - getting organized!  See how I actually have the ingredients on the cupboard?  This is a new step for me.  I like to grab random bottles and then stash them away.  Before the meal is cooking our kitchen tends to look like a war zone and no one knows how to help me including myself because the scene is so overwhelming there seems to be no actual step that will make a true impact.  It would make a seasoned chef weep and raise hands in despair.  Also the next picture shows keys in a dishwasher.  You may also notice tiny fingers helping Mommy in that picture.  I have a twenty-one month old toddler quickly on the move.  I want the areas he plays or explores may be a better word to be safe and clean.  He also has started a fun game of let's hide things in random places - Example - keys in the dishwasher.  Had I not seen this happen I am not sure how long I would have looked for these keys.  Alright so I'm claiming my life and making sure it runs smoothly with organization (or at least progresses in a somewhat forward motion ) what's the final secret?

I've got a plan/purpose which is easier to accomplish with organization and that I am engaged in my own life.   What's the plan?  I am working part-time because being home with my son at this precious age means too much to me right now.  Well than why work?  Because we have some bills that need paying and I want to truly lose this cumbersome shell of extra weight.  How does a job help - it occurs at a health facility that promotes christian values, healthy physical lifestyle while also engaging our minds.  I have no excuse to not work out when I am going to be there five times a week - talk about accountability and scheduling myself for success.  That's my immediate plan but I also have bigger purposes to work towards that a physically fit version of myself will have better chance of success.  I want to be a mom again.  Well not that I stopped being one but we would love more children or at least one more :)  Would our son have been born premature had I been more physically fit?  Possibly.  Would I have had an easier pregnancy?  Most likely.  If I can make the next time around easier on both myself and our future child I think we both deserve me at least trying to improve the odds for success of a healthy pregnancy and delivery.  Also, I have felt called to ordained ministry - it is a lengthy fully involved process that I will have a lot of questions to answer on that journey and several deal with my health from all standpoints.  It is pretty hard to answer affirmatively I am in the best possible health when I carry so much excess baggage on my physical frame.  I want to be able to stand up in front of anyone and say I truly live a healthy life and not feel like a fraud.    So how do I move forward with my three secrets?

We all need a little R & R

Great way to refuel with a healthy snack

I go and live my life.  This means finding time to focus on all aspects of my life and not to conveniently skip over the complicated areas.  We as a couple need to find time for dates and to enjoy friendships outside of our trio of a family. But to also spend quality time outdoors or at least outside of our home doors - even if that means walking around the neighborhood more often.  It means that leisure activities not just focus around the dinner table.  For example a zoo outing that encourages family bonding while still walking and no eating.  Crazy - but possible :)  Why look we actually did do that just last weekend. Don't the bear and koala both looked pretty pleased with life as well almost as if they're fully dressed with a smile.

So many blessings are waiting to crowd our daily lives.  Sometimes we just have to open our eyes and acknowledge them with a smile.  Blessings in my life these days are almost too high to count but I would still like to share a few - two cute guys that greet me with a smile every morning,  amazing friends and family, a close connection to God, okay finances, a new job (which was a wonderful answer to a heartfelt prayer), a true purpose with guidance, hope, and time - time to continue learning, loving, and serving such an awesome God.  So you see why it's a lot easier to smile these days.

May your HealthFULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life) Journey point you towards your purpose that utilizes your talents, awakens your passion, and give you reason to be Fully Dressed with a Smile.  'Til we meet again. . .

Spreading the good news

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,

 faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. --- 1 Peter 4:10 NIV

My son has a joyful spirit.  He bumps his head and giggles.  He shrieks with delight when others laugh and play along.  And he smiles ....a LOT!  I wish I could take credit but this is his gift.  He loves life....he embraces the moment and without a word challenges you to laugh at the world too.  Drew teaches us to smile at what "now" can bring not what was or what will be but what right now can bring.  He does faces - he's learning to roll his eyes, muster a serious gaze, and show distress but still has a glint in the eye and tilt of the head to share a giggle after he is understood. He makes me want to do better.  To not miss an opportunity to graciously accept the blessings of today but to also seek those moments where I can share my gifts and hopefully add to the glory of God's kingdom. 

For three years I have been sharing on this blog my goal to get healthy. I started writing this in anticipation of the physical pounds just melting off my body.  Sure, I would write that its a journey and a process.  But in my hopes of hopes I thought within a year I would be sitting in my chair typing as my skinny version.  I did not know at that time that the weight I had been carrying wasn't all physical.  I toppled the scale with pounds of hurt, anger, resentment, grudges, disappointments, regrets, and worries - tons and tons of worries that not only piled on the pounds but bound them to my frame.  I had much work to complete, many life experiences to endure, and tons of challenges to conquer.  Many blessings have found our home and covered us in comforts, love, and much hope. Every area of my life has been touched, stretched, and improved in unmeasurable proportions.  But yet the weight remains an ugly picture to such a beautiful journey. 

So this weekend my hubby and I had one of those sincere heart to heart conversations where all the layers of politeness and untruths are left unraveled on the ground leaving only the purest, most sincere answers of honesty remained.  He dug and coached and pulled what I really hoped to accomplish this year.  And after many ----MANY resumes being sent to find that perfect job to replace the nanny job of mine with only five more days  left to work an e-mail requesting an interview found my inbox.  As of today I am re-employed with no days to celebrate my farewell to a summer I will always treasure as I embrace my new role as an afterschool counselor.  The best benefit besides the children I will meet and the work that will challenge me and allow me to share my gifts of education, entertainment, and encouragement I get a free gym membership. Not only do I get to share my faith but I get to be held accountable for my true goal of embracing my physical health.  It's time to get fit and trim.  God will use my strengths but even more impressive is that He will also build up my weakness.  One of my favorite verses is John 3:3 "He must become greater; I must become less."  It can be easy and its always fun to share our gifts and our strengths.  But sometimes the best thing we can do to prove God's awesome power is by showing our weakness and offering it to allow God the chance to display His greatness - for He is the Almighty.    

It was a special weekend for our family and I am blessed to have two amazing guys.  One to teach me the joys of life and one to challenge me to the purest desires of my heart so that I can be the best possible version of myself. 

May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life as you find joy in the here and now by being honest with yourself and sharing the gifts that only you can deliver. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Been Flyin' High

Jesus looked at themand said, "For mortals it is impossible, but not for God;

 for God all things are possible."  -Mark 10:27 NRSV



Flyin' High at Sky

Whoa!  It has been a week!!!  Full-time job and straight to the church to Fly High at SKY for our Vacation Bible School.  (The photo is our actual decorated Sanctuary as our Launchpad for Opening and Closing for every night!) 

I went back in time - sort of!  I revisited the memories of ten years right before I was married. The crazy schedules I kept - the energy and enthusiasm I had for life and how I would need to crash so that I could do it all again.  However, there are some differences. I have a fabulous hubby to vent which is more conveniently stashed in my house than a boyfriend halfway across the country or a state way (only a ten minute drive but a state boundary makes it sound more dramatic.)  I also have a much stronger alarm clock these days.  I remember the days of Snooze making a difference.  Now I peek at the Baby Alarm through one eye open with head on pillow and see if the scream level is at a 3 light or a 5 light on monitor.  3 might settle back into sweet snores.  A 5 red light means better hustle to my li'l one's room because we are ready to start the day.  A decade ago meant if I was home before midnight it was kind of an early night where these days I saw nine on my car's dashboard and I was hemming and hawing how late it got.

And the biggest difference I creak after a night of enthusiasm.  I used to work 3 jobs, perform in two different shows, carry on a long distant relationship, and still have time for friends while being active in church and still have energy to burn.  Ummm I was lucky if I could have a fifteen minute coherent conversation at night with my hubby without ooooh, owie, and uhhing through my painful creaks as my bones rattled and settled.  And I can't even describe the morning routine as I pulled myself to the shower in hopes that the water would moisten and in turn weaken the brittle pains.

And though this week was insane!!! Honestly, more than a tear or two was shed out of pure exhaustion. BUT I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Oh I missed tucking in my sweet boy and relaxing at night with amazing hubby.  *Breathes in deeply with great anticipation* *Sighing Exhale* I tapped into some precious memories and physically recalled my youth.  Forty minutes before VBS started I turned to my hubby with sheer terror "What have I agreed to?" I have been trying to nod with certainty, smile with confidence, and a playful giggle that I got this in the bag.  But with less than an hour to go I had horrible stage fright.  Do I remember how to corral kids in a fun entertaining way?  Can I actually perform with people around once again?  (I truly have became hermit-like in some ways and the thought of trying to entertain a crowd seemed foreign.)  My hubby looked me in the eye and calmly stated - "This isn't something people just forget - you can do this!"  Yup that is one of the many reasons I married this guy.  I am a roller coaster that brings excitement ( the fun and the challenges) and he is my carousel (smooth and steady and calming ;) And sure enough with one rough read of the hastily written script we were out onstage and .....it came back!

The skills, the talents, the experience, and the best part - THE THRILL!  Oh if you have ever performed and enjoyed it - you know what I am talking about.  That moment when the audience smiles because you delighted them - the chuckles as they decide to go for the ride - they're there because they see the sincerity in your choices.  It's like magic.....but even cooler - it was all God!  I used to perform and was good because I bled, sweated, and cried theatre.  But that passion faded as the years past and the skill wasn't practiced.  As I sat at my computer at work the abilities to interact with people, kids especially, drained away.  And then in an instant dose of VBS the Holy Spirit restored talents that I used to take for granted and for them being abandoned for so long came back with a flourish that only could be at God's Hand. One of the comments I received was a question that tugs at my heart - Did you do this in a past life?  I slowly nod even at the thought of that question.  Because it does feel a lifetime ago.  But it also still feels as amazing as it did then.

Anyone looking for a theatre instructor for elementary age kids? Or a permanent VBS leader year round? :)  No takers?  Well I'll find with God's help a purpose for this hodge podge of talents.

The above scripture I referenced is the the theme of the SKY VBS package which you can find more information at http://group.com/vbs/sky .  But it feels especially fitting to me as I remember this week.  My body was tired.  My emotions wrought of the woman I am today and the girl I was who had the confidence to utilize the skills needed.  My mental capacity overloaded as I switched from Mommy, Wifey, to Auntie Nanny to a VBS Music instructor.  And yet - with God's strength I received more compliments than I can recount and am truly humbled.  And compliments even for music of all things.  I remember in high school being assigned a solo in a musical and laughing out loud at the absurdity - I'm the girl who can't sing.  The director didn't laugh. And it hit me like a ton of bricks he was serious. . . and sixteen leaders I am actually teaching others the actions and music.  Life sure is funny - don't forget to laugh along the way :) 

So after my nightly three hour singing/dancing work out I am wondering what to do next week?  My nights sure are going to seem empty.  May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life with reminders of who you were and more importantly who you have grown to be.  Don't forget to laugh at life's jokes!  'Til we meet again. . .