Glistening

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That's right y'all, I sweated today, not poured buckets but definitely broke the moisture barrier on my forehead. While my sweet lil' potato took a nap I popped in a Yoga DVD. We started with the "Basics". Have you ever followed/watched an exercise DVD, they hide the beginner's "trainer/example" in the back. So that you have to look past the trainer who is in perfect condition, who can do the exercises in their sleep and look flawless. While I am huffing, puffing, feeling a fool (even if it is in my living room, I hear the dog and the cat chuckling). I hurl insults and sarcastic remarks at the trainer and sometimes she responds accordingly and encouragingly but usually it feels like a personal mocking. But then you realize she started imperfectly (or at least you can tell yourself that) and that with practice (more than just the initial watching of the DVD that is guaranteed to change my life) can actually accomplish these poses. So I huffed and glistened my way through the whole DVD. I am fantastic at Mountain Pose! (For you non-yogis it means standing still and balanced). I enjoy the cat pose, it's freeing as you arch your back and stretch your neck. But downward dog is not my friend!!!! I even have a spiffy new Yoga Stretch band to ease my body into some of these yoga positions that my body cannot quite manipulate on it's own. This set has three DVDs (Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced). The Intermediate and the Advanced remain wrapped in their Cellophane (I have had this DVD set for 6+ years.) I have hopes of cracking into those upper DVDs after a few more sessions as a Beginner. Sometimes I try to do too much, prove to myself I am not that out of shape. It's like if I could complete the hardest pose than I am still in good shape with some extra meat on the bones. But it is just another way to live in denial. Because if it doesn't work, I put down the activity or remind myself that the person performing the activity was either born with an increased talent or has been practicing a decade plus. And has nothing to do with my out of shape self. I like to believe in the impossible but don't want to have to prove it or have it not proven because of my actions. It's how I end up stuck because if I move it proves or disproves my "fantasy", my ideas. I'd rather believe the dream then curse the reality. But without action the dream can never come true and the reality feels like I am stuck in a big ol' puddle of mud. But day by day I am trying to step out of the mud and get closer to the dream. Today's food victory may sound strange, but I didn't graze. And the true part of this victory is I was home all day. The days I spend in the house tends to be a permission for me to stuff my face all day long and the real kicker is without me even noticing. My worst time to graze is when I am preparing a meal. I literally had my lunch in the microwave heating up and I was digging through the cupboards to find what could I munch on while my food is heating up. I couldn't wait fifty five seconds to eat. How ridiculous is that? And it was like a lightbulb went off. My husband always/often jokes with me that we are about to eat. That fifteen minute warning churns my brain and triggers my appetite. I'm like Pavlov's dog on steroids. Food incoming, must eat IMMEDIATELY!!! I slammed the cupboard doors shut and told myself I can just wait. And once again I survived. It is becoming easier and easier to realize how some of these extra pounds might have arrived. And slowly I hope to find the sources of where I found my extra weight so that I can return the pounds with appreciation:) It's not easy to push oneself. But it is easier with my simple rules. Once I feel they are habits (3 - 6 weeks I have heard) I can start to concentrate on more specific terms. But these simple generalities have already had me save a pound's worth of calories (if not more) and I have "moved/exercised" an extra 105 minutes in the last three days. Baby steps out of the mud and hopefully one step closer to a dream coming true. This HealthFULL Journey is an interesting one, I can't wait to discover what more is awaiting on it. May your journey include some glistening and very little mud. 'Til we meet again. . .