Simply taking a Stand

If consistency is key I keep misplacing it.  I didn't get a lot of sleep last night but decided this morning I had to do something for thirty minutes.  And I could have waited until later tonight but that line of reasoning tends to dawdle throughout the day as the hours dwindle down.  I certainly wasn't up for some Brazilian beats, nor the concentration of Tai Chi so I pulled out my trusty Wii Fit.  For the most part I played the balancing games after a couple of yoga poses.  I realize I wasn't burning a gazillion calories but it was something.  For the most part I was standing with a little leaning.  But I was using my mind to focus on movement vs. food.  We've all heard that expression "If you stand for nothing you will fall for anything."  Oh and temptation knows how to make you fall.  Whether it is food (hello dessert *bats eyelashes*), smoking, gambling, the eye of another.  We say it hits us when we're weak.  Here's the truth it is always clamoring for our attention.  It is when we are tired and weary we invite them back into our lives.  We seek their comfort and want to believe the promises of how things have changed and we can make this relationship work.  But you can't.  Addiction can never be your faithful partner because the relationship is all too consuming and jealous.  Addiction forces you to push away family, friends, activities, and adventure.  It grips you and whispers your dirty secrets.  It knows blackmail better than any political ninja and the biggest secret it knows is that you secretly want to chuck your progress and crawl back into a black hole with your addiction and block out all responsibilities.  It was maybe two seasons ago on "So You Think You Can Dance" that they based a contemporary piece on Addiction.  It was beautiful and haunting.  What a visual of something so many people experience.  Each journey is unique but we shouldn't feel alone as we all have hang-ups.  So when your addiction is pulling you into their arms with sweet whispers of lies, stand up.  Perhaps it is the tv that hypnotizes you into a vegetable and you couldn't possibly pick up a dish.  Get out of the comfy chair and you would be amazed how one action can lead to healthier choices.  If you love to gobble food on your couch all curled up with your DVR.  Food no longer allowed in that one spot of the house.  You aren't really handcuffing yourself but you are taking a stand and changing the rules.  One action will change the relationship of addiction.  If you can't drive by your favorite bakery without getting a doughnut.  New route to work.  Oh what a pain.  But when you figure the trigger that weakens your resolve you can choose to stand up to your bully and show both your addiction and yourself that you are strong enough to take a stand.  So I took a stand against laziness and the snacking monster and stepped onto my Wii Fit.  I burned less than 200 calories but saved myself from consuming an extra 700.  That's a Win - Win in so many ways.  Oh there will be days the whispers will be a little louder and me a little more willing but each stand pushes the bully a little bit farther away.  I'll take an inch to avoid the pinch.

May your journey teach you strength and to not fall for false promises or sweet lies.  'Til we meet again. . .

Heart be Still

Heart be Still

There are moments that take your breath away.

A lot of moments in every day.

Some come with sweat,

Some with debt,

And some are the reward after a lot of fret.

Through the years

We shed so many tears

That wet our face

And with our sweat kept pace.

We get one life to live.

We can keep ourselves hidden or freely give.

Many of us choose the forbidden fruit

That does a number on those we love, our lives, and our birthday suit.

Our bodies are our only true witness.

To the world they whisper our choices, our neglect,  even our fitness.

With these secrets others determine our worth with a glance.

Are we worthy of friendship or courtship? Could we be worth the chance?

It is our image that we share.

Do we shun the world or invite others to care?

We beat ourselves up, we tear ourselves down, of ourselves we constantly judge:

And then after all that, we tell ourselves it's okay to eat fudge.

Few people care about the numbers on the scale;

Except for those that feel they fail.

So, if on that little box you feel like a whale

And that your body feels not like a temple, but more like a jail;

Then begin to move even if you're no faster than a snail.

Choose foods that naturally represent the rainbow

And that aren't fried and covered in dough.

One can change anytime until. . .

The heart be still.

 

Adaptability

When I was a kid I loved Encyclopedia Brown books.  The mystery that you solved by choosing your own path. I sometimes pride myself on being a problem solver or perhaps a better term would be a solution seeker.  What's the difference, a lot.  Let's say you lost twenty bucks I might not be able to help you find that specific 20 bucks (it's lost!).  However,  together we can realize do you want twenty dollars for something specific?  Or you liked the security of the twenty dollars?  Once we establish what was truly lost (a new book or security) we can develop a solution to help remedy the lost twenty fiasco. 

But in this journey I keep trying to force rules, I am trying to create a plan/a schedule for me because it is what books, experts, friends, tv, etc. says will help.  I am not that rigid of a person.  When studying in school I am a crammer and for those who want to lecture you can't write a good paper in two hours.  I hear you, I believe you, but certain systems worked for me and when I would try someone else's approach I got horrible results.  Structure is fantastic.  Many of us appreciate that our homes have strong foundations.  But who wants to live in a cement box?  We need structure but function better with softness and give. 

What does this mean?  I am not Brazilian nor do I have a Brazilian body that moves to a Brazilian rhythm.  I tried to dance to my DVD.  And on one hand it was a disaster on another I had a good laugh.  Oh I got frustrated because I do not enjoy not being able to do something (especially on the first try - silly I know but just being honest).  I would see what the instructor was doing and would try to copy but not so lucky.  My legs would instinctively do a different action than what was instructed.  She would kick forward my legs would tuck back, they would say move to the left I would halfway be to the right.  Then I would try to correct my movement only to miss both opportunities.  I muddled through 17 1/2 minutes and just realized I didn't have the heart to move unto the second dance.  No I don't have to dance perfectly the sequence.  Which I am trying to teach myself, any movement is improvement over no movement.  When they can-can and plie and shimmy - If I just rotate from my waist I am doing something.  So that is a lesson I am working on but decided I would rather finish my thirty minutes on the comfort of My Wii Fit.  Where the Wii Fit and I both agreed I'm thirty.  I don't know if I should be happy that we agreed or disappointed that it didn't feel I was younger.  (I did just come from my Brazilian dance lesson - my weariness might have shown :)  I muddled through a step routine where the machine informed me that I step unevenly.  Great I have no rhythm and I am uncoordinated - got that from the DVD in my own thoughts but now a machine agrees. Excellent, thanks for the confirmation!  But I did the best I had done on the obstacle course and then got out my frustration with some snow balls (true this workout has me sway on the board and point the controller to the screen and I push a button but I appreciate the visual imagery.)

 Though I mock my attempt today the lesson was comforting.  I don't have to limit myself to the DVD.  I don't like a movement I can walk away and still exercise to something else.  The choices are mine for my HealthFULL Journey.  An unsuccessful attempt is not a failure, it is just an unsuccessful attempt that will lead to fruitful rewards down the line.  The challenge will motivate me or push me to find something more worth my time. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be adaptable to your needs and goals.  Take a moment to figure out your true goal and find the situation that best fulfills your solution.  'Til we meet again. . .

Sleep means more than ZZZZZZZZ's

I am not the best sleeper.  This is sad to admit but I used to have pride in the fact that I function easily on five hours of sleep.  I convinced myself that it is better for me to sleep an odd amount of hours than a heap of even number of hours.  Bizarre but true.  I used to be able to function on three hours sleep three - four nights a week.  I'm not necessarily the best person I can be (little cranky, little emotional, little paranoid) but for the most part functionable.  Five hours used to be my dream amount of sleep.  (Get it? Dream! :) I was me.  Because that was my average.  Seven was luxury and nine was unbelievable.  If I did three hours three - four in a row I could do a marathon sleep of eleven hours.  In my quest to get healthy in WHOLE kind of way I have read some articles, books, etc. And a lot mention that heavier people tend to carry more weight.  You would think if we are staying up so late we would be burning more calories.  But not the case.  Us fully awake around the clock people tend to eat more and exercise less. Why?  Because we aren't sleeping because we aren't exhausting our systems physically and yet are losing control of our emotions tricking our appetites.  I have read the acronym "HALT" in several books so I am sorry if I am not giving proper credit to who originated this idea.  HALT means to evaluate before you commence eating.  Are you Hurt? Angry? Lonely? or Tired?  and for that reason are grabbing a snack?  If you're hungry go ahead.  Your body is telling you it has burned the calories and is ready to re-fuel.  But usually it is because of the other reasons listed.  When someone is tired they tend to graze without thinking.  Your appetite is ramped and your emotions wild and your control is exhausted due to lack of sleep.  It's amazing how a little rest can up your energy. 

My hubby took morning duty today with our son.  And though I awoke briefly to share a kiss with my two favorite guys I quickly returned to bed because I could.  Wow I had a fire lit ready to do some work.  For my work out I was tempted by my salsa DVD but will attempt that tomorrow.  Today I have been hounded by our two bathrooms needing a good cleaning.  So out I pulled my cleaning supplies and grabbed my son (not altogether).  I used different set -ups so he could watch me work.  The first bathroom was fun because he had a new perspective sitting in the hallway which he has never just sat there. Not much to see but to him it was a whole new destination.  Isn't it funny how we let our task list grow because of laziness, boredom, detestation, and really the project just doesn't take that long.  20 minutes and one bathroom down.  The other still needs the shower clean but otherwise the master bath is done.  It was getting late and my son was getting hungry (or bored or both ) :)  Also got some other projects done and even had dinner ready for hubby when he walked in the door.  Isn't that the nicest feeling in the world?  If you live with someone else and walk in the door after a long day or work, errands, social obligation, and you walk into aromas of supper ready to go.  Heavenly! in my opinion, one last hassle, feeling loved, and time to let go! 

And what is awesome I still have energy to go.  Because of this I had more stable moods and could be there if needed.  When we are too tired we can't take care of ourselves and that also means we certainly can't help those we love.

May your journey help you to Fully or Finally Understand Life by Living which means take time to rest, so that you can recharge and get back out there fully you at your best.  'Til we meet again. . .

The Escape Plan

Do you like to get away?  Vacation?  Staycation?  Anything that changes up our duties and responsibilities?  I like to be in the mix of things as long as I have an escape plan.  It allows me to regroup and feel in control of my life.  I think that is why I have turned to food.  Though the more food I eat the harder it is to hide behind it.  Many complaints and what I think of as statements quickly turn to whines.  Which is sad because I have been so incredibly blessed and truly from the bottom of my heart am grateful.  But when I get overloaded due to the family demands, the daily grind, and the worries and stress I pile upon my shoulders I am seeking my little cubbyhole to escape, let go of the big and little and just refresh. When I was younger, I used to have a "special place" both inside my house and outside my house.   Outside was two parks that were about four blocks away from me.  I could go there and read, sing, act, scream, and just be.  And inside my house I had set up my closet to be my haven.  I would stack up my supplies of books, flashlights, comfy comforts (pillows, blanket) and grab my snack or lunch or pop.  And disappear for an hour or two.  This was no walk in closet but just a little space to escape.  I even had created a light source out of a hanger, a robe tie, and a flashlight to properly illuminate "my place".  Now I have so much more room in my house but none of it feels just mine.  My hubby is fantastic and I love that not only do we share this house but our lives.  But I seek out that nook for just "Suzy" where I can celebrate, whine, cry, meditate, or just be.  I have looked in town, little out of the ordinary restaurants, my house.  And nothing has revealed itself like my playgrounds of youth.  A place with positive memories but not overcrowded with others.  It is part of my journey.  To either discover a let go place or to learn to muddle through life without an escape route.  I think escape routes are good.  We plan them with our family and children in case of a fire.  We plan them with friends or family when we get roped into a party we really don't want to attend (oh you know that you have pleaded with a friend, I will go only on the condition we can leave at my signal - tug of the year, crossed arms, foot taps. )  But then I also see that when we have an escape plan we don't bother working through the crisis.  We just sense trouble and hop along our merry way.  It's good to not feel chaotic but it is a bit sad to not let go.  There is a quote up on a business billboard I pass on my way to the office.  "Only those who risk going too far ever realize how far they truly can go".  I edit myself, don't want too offend, don't want to cause hurt, don't want to get too involved, so I pause.  It is good to filter, but not to block oneself.  So my plan is to find an escape route that doesn't include snacking.  An escape route to bring peace of mind so that I can move forward.

May you feel enough prepared in life to live passionately uninhibited.  'Til we meet again. . .

Capturing the Prize

Ahh the holidays.  When you're a kid the world is full of magic and the holidays have a way of reminding us of it.  The Fourth of July used to be one of my favoritest of days.  (Yes Favoritest!) It meant a family day having a picnic in a huge park with tons of community games that can only happen in a true home grown event.  Where there are watermelon eating contests, capturing people in park jail for charity and giggles, tossing water balloons, ring toss, and other assorted games with radio DJs spicing up the event with music and talent like shows.  There was an art to dressing up in just the three colors of red, white, and blue. After the picnic the day is to be enjoyed because it is summer and friends are all over the neighborhood. Before dusk friends I would gather some easy to handle snacks, a boombox (So eighties/nineties I realize), and some blankets.  My dad would set up the extension ladder and as dusk begins to settle my friends and I would make several half trips up the ladder to claim all of our loot. Before my friends and I were old enough to "hang out" on the roof, my dad would chaperone or I'd go up with my brother.  There was something so special about being up on the roof.  It certainly wasn't an everyday activity.  But then after we had are giggles and moment of adjusting to the slanted roof we would settle in for the fireworks display.  Together we would ooh and ahh and sing along to the patriotic cheesy music. We proudly stood up with "God Bless the USA".  And when memories are beginning to be made in your mind you don't realize how much you will cherish the moment or those silly but precious traditions. But you do.  After the show we would gather our stuff to head back down the ladder (though it was fun to drop snacks and blankets off the roof).  We then would have our own private display of pretty fireworks (I was not into things that went bang for no other reason than to go bang.)  But "pretties" I appreciated and would occasionally light.  But my favorites were the smoke bombs (bye bye Mosquitoes), glow worms (because how cool is it to see a 1/4 inch pellet grow into 3 - 4 inches), Sparklers (because you can spell your name and your crush's - come on we've all done it!) and the Bloomin' Flowers/Jumpin' Jacks (they're just so pretty!).  But this year I realized how much effort really is put into the holiday magic.  And I am saddened to admit that I opted out.  No family picnic, not even a sparkler for my lil' eight month old (though we did both dress in only red, white, and blue).  But we will.  Today we just had a quiet day at home.  But what event spurned this trip down memory lane.  A toy from a cereal box.  I am trying out different snacks that we'll satisfy my sweet tooth without equaling 2000 calories or will spurn me into eating lots of snacks that still equal mega calories. So with this guideline I have bought some old childhood cereal favorites that happened to be on sale.  And tonight as I grabbed a snack bowl to munch, the toy dropped from the box.  It brought a smile to my lips because how many adults can say they got the toy.  Oh I remember shoving my hand into many of cereal boxes for the prized toy.  And how parents would complain to wait for it to fall naturally.  (Yeah Right!).  But today the toy fell from the cereal I bought for myself.  It reminded me that over the years I have gained patience but I lost that magic and drive to get what I want.  So with my toy in hand I am reclaiming the fun in my life.  It is good to have patience and to be responsible but it's also important to not sacrifice ourselves and our ways to others' expectations. 

May your HealthFULL Journey point you towards your Healthy future while helping you to cherish your past.  'Til we meet again. . .

Nice long warm up

I was rested and my baby was still resting which means perfect time for a work-out.  I had picked up two DVDs to try new movement from the library.  With a little apprehension and a little giddiness I popped in Mr. Kung Fu. Oh don't worry that's not the name of the DVD.  It was a beginner's DVD for Tai Chi and the narrator/host was David Carradine.  It was fantastic.  There are two parts and I did the thirty minute work out for the mind.  The experience was like completing a thirty minute warm-up/cool-down.  No I didn't burn billions of calories.  But I moved, didn't fret, didn't get frustrated, and let go.  It was nice to not have to give myself a pep talk that I'll be able to catch my breath in less than a minute or stare at the DVD counter - only 12 minutes to go.  This work out was calming and encouraging because I didn't have to modify any of the instructions.  I just followed along.  It was a good DVD to ease back into a daily movement routine.  Also was a great reminder that I like to try new things and appreciate different ideas if I ever want to work out while watching television so I don't feel like such a bump on the log and something else to do besides munch on snacks.

Speaking of munching.  Our little one is starting to eat his veggies and fruits.  Today the plan was to start eating apples (he has tried quite a few of the veggies).  I grabbed the jar, my hubby had the camera and our son seemed confused by the taste.  He's only had veggies before today.  We kept saying how yummy the apples are.  I had tried a quick bite (they were awfully sweet which I thought accounted for the not quite apple flavor).  Our son grew into the taste and he cleaned out that jar.  I looked at the label and the ingredient list caught my eye.  Organic Pears? The food industry is just getting ridiculous using pears for a baby's introduction to apples.  Then I flipped the jar around.  Oh the food industry wasn't to blame for this jar of food.  No mommy grabbed the wrong jar.  So pears were the first fruit for our son.  But this "mommy fog" moment made me think a couple of different things.  My son is a genius to question that this food was not apples.  But also that I had convinced myself that the jar was apples and then even when I tasted the fruit and it tasted off.  I accepted the fact without investigating.  How often am I shoveling food in my mouth because I have told myself it is good or that I like it and really have stopped tasting the food.  Or even allowed myself the chance to let my food taste buds change.  There are a lot of things as a kid not a big fan and a lot of things as a kid as an adult not as yummy (or help the body feel good).  Wouldn't it be sad that my tastes hadn't changed in thirty years?  Don't we get stuck in patterns of all sorts because we used to like the item or hate them?  How many people still have the same favorite color as when they were six?  Is it still truthfully your favorite color or you just tell yourself it is?  How about your favorite food? Let's say your mom made the best spaghetti or lasagna or barbeque chicken or meatloaf (etc. you get the point!), is it still your favorite meal?  Sure they make it when you go home and you enjoy it because it brings back great memories.  But maybe you found your own meatloaf recipe and now that's your favorite but you let your parents think theirs is still number one.  I am not saying that is right or wrong.  But don't we hinder our growth and stand in our own way to keep things simple, non-offensive, time-saving, etc.? That's why we sometimes find ourselves in ruts.  We travel the same path over and over for whatever reason and forget that there are choices involved.  You don't have to drink out of the green coffee cup because you do every morning.  You don't have to stop every Thursday at the local burger joint because you started going there when you got your job.  You don't have to do laundry every Sunday because that was laundry day in your house since you were six.  Again if you love any of these routines then they are not ruts.  You are still choosing these activities because they bring stability, smiles, comfort to your life.  But if you are frustrated with these monotonous actions then choose to change it up.  Treat yourself to a new coffee cup, try a new restaurant on Thursday, or find out if Friday morning laundry lets you feel like you have extra time in your week.  The simplest change can alter your life and remind you that you are still breathing and that choices are a good thing.  They remind us we have freedom, control of our own destiny, and individual preferences that make us unique.

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of wonder as you truly decide your routines, favorites, and free of "ruts". Don't forget to take time to warm up and truly embrace your potential.  'Til we meet again. . .  

Cleaning up my act

I was so excited for Friday night.  My hubby and I were going to party like we were a couple in their mid twenties basically meaning we were childless for a night as a grandma and grandpa offered their services for a night.  Yay us!  Oh so much fun was in store like - eating dinner when we wanted and no scheduling around our son's feedings and bedtime.  We could be as loud as we wanted watching tv or talking.  We could both just relax in separate rooms watch tv, listen to music, play on the computer and no one had to be on monitor duty or entertaining our lil' one.  And we could watch a movie uninterrupted, together!  Crazy times I realize.  I picked up a treat after work and was driving home with a big smile on my face.  I also had a lightbulb moment about my HealthFULL Journey to share with Corey.  I have become obsessed with this journey and myself (my actions, my emotions, my troubles,  me me me, my my my! Blech!) Focus equals great, intensity sometimes beneficial, obsession like Fatal Attraction means disaster!  So Friday I tuned out of all "me" business and started to observe my surroundings and keep things positive. I planned my Friday to be fabulous and myself to be friendly.  Oh I tried and fought my way through frustrating moments and kept my determination to turn outward, focus on my journey but stop obsessing about my bad luck.  I people-watched at the library which was fantastic.  There were some great people to observe.  I delighted in other people's quirks.  Let the Friday festivities begin as I walk into my house and before I can declare "let the good times roll".  I notice the footstool out of place.  Ummmm....Cor is everything alright?  His response "Yeah".  Mine: "Why is the footstool in the foyer?" His reply: "Oh it's really hot in here." Check thermostat - hmm yeah it's 84+ degrees in the house and the air conditioner is set on 70 that is pretty hot! So our romantic/fun night of freedom included the air conditioner man at our house at 8:30 at night, after we had 4 agencies on stand-by.  So this last week we have had the plumber out and the air conditioner people while waiting for the roofers to call back about their availability.  Awesome leaking roof, mushy carpet, and no air circulation.  Fantastic! Still smiling world - try to pi** in my cheerios but I am gonna grit my teeth and grin! We got our movie in and the house officially began to cool.  Simple fix that hubby of course suggested and I shot down instantly.  So with my pizza I ate some humble pie.  But Saturday is a new day.  I was going to exercise and eat healthier. And FOCUS not obsess!  I checked in with the grandparents and planned to work out before my son's arrival but realized how I could get some serious cleaning done with function of both arms and eyes.  So I turned the work out into cleaning.  In an hour I put away two loads of laundry, started another, swept, vacuumed, and played return - items scavenger hunt (returning items from one room to another and when entering drop off room gather items and return to their original spot. For instance 15 books had found their way into our bedroom that belonged upstairs, upstairs had loose socks, garbage, baby and dog toys, and so I returned the toys and then took big garbage outside).  It felt so good to get little things checked off the to-do list and build up a sweat. I could have done exercise by following one of my new library DVDs (which I so excited to try).  But because I was not obsessing on perfect HealthFULL Journey I could keep my focus but realize that yes I have other obligations.  If this isn't to be a diet (which it is not) but a lifestyle change (which it is) then I have to incorporate my efforts and intentions into my real life.  Yes there is time to pull out the DVD as some me time but there are other times to get creative.  Everyday is a lesson on this journey because I am Finally Understanding Life by Living and that means to me to stop being an observer in this world and being an active participant.

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to focus on what truly is important.  May your journey help strengthen your awareness, awaken your passions, and lead you to true joy. 'Til we meet again. . .

Caul me Orange

I remember the joy of the hunt, idling over choices, and then research on how to best try our new vegetable,fruit, or grain of the week.  It makes it fun to get in the kitchen.  Not everyday because one can lose their mind.  But once a week as kind of a treat it is so much fun.  It opens your world to different tastes, cultures, and techniques.  This week we decided it was time to start incorporating this fun little ritual back in our house.  And as a family of three (though our little one has a while to go before he samples with us) we scavenged for our pick of the week.  Drumroll please.... Take a peek at the title of the blog. . . Orange Cauliflower.  Does the color matter when picking produce ?  Absolutely.  I am not a huge green pepper fan but bring on the red or yellow bell peppers and I will cook them or eat them raw with pretty much anything.  The color (if left to mother nature)  is the minerals and vitamins that make up the vegetable.  So orange cauliflower has way more beta carotene than the white variety.  And different minerals and vitamins will usually change the texture and the taste.  So for those who have limited market/produce access, have you tried every apple?  Different brands have different levels of sweetness and tartness and the different textures make some great for baking and others not so much.  Farmer's markets are great places to try because they tend to be local and not usually sold in your regular supermarket.  It is also fun to try different grocery stores.  I understand you probably don't because of cost or distance but a four - six dollar investment that encourages your family to gather, hunt, decide/negotiate, cook, and dine together sounds pretty worthwhile. 

So back to the orange cauliflower.  I enjoy regular cauliflower and have many found memories of mom's cheese sauce that went with it as a kid.  We tend to eat it more now around our house steamed with garlic.  YUM as a side dishes to most meals.  Cauliflower is so easy to prepare in numerous ways.  And when it comes to cooking for me I love the worlds simple (because I make things pretty complicated by myself), quick, and fun twists.  So I gathered three recipes for my hubby as we were having orange roughy (fish) (also notice our orangy theme - although we rounded out the dinner with spinach.)  It took ten minutes to gather these recipes from the internet for those are nervous to prepare unknown foods.  The www is amazing!  I type in my ingredient and add the recipe and voila the world is welcomed to my kitchen.  So my three recipes steamed in the microwave with balsamic vinegar, oven-baked with some herbs, and mashed.  Hubby voted for mashed.  Steamed the medium cauliflower for eight minutes in the microwave after chopping away the bottom green leaf and the breaking up some florets.  Then pulsed the steamed orange cauliflower with a touch of cream (we had some in our fridge, the recipe recommended milk) and some garlic.  Poured into a bowl for serving and topped with salt, pepper and the recipe recommended thyme but we were out.  It was delicious! The orange cauliflower has a sweeter taste than the white.  A lot of people tend to cover the white with cheese to cover that bitterness but the orange doesn't need it at all.  Keep it SIMPLE!  The consistency of the mashed cauliflower with the color reminded me of really cheesy grits.  Definitely a dish to repeat.  Especially if you are tired of the mashed potatoes and want to get more beta carotene (think sweet potatoes, carrots) in your house. This is fun and delicious with numerous opportunities.  I also have heard of purple cauliflower but have yet to try/see it.  From what I have read it sounds like it is also sweeter than the white version but not as sweet as the orange.  Kids tend to love bright colors on their plate to encourage healthier eating.  But don't forget the kid in you as adult who also loves to try new tastes and appreciates more fun in their day.  Start with your plate- its amazing how one change can lead to many others!!!

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to amazing changes, treat you to new tastes, and the opportunity to have choices.  'Til we meet again. . . 

Surprise!

Life feels like it is full of surprises (It's like I am playing "Press Your LUCK"  and I keep saying Big Money and life keeps doling out the Whammies.  I must have hit my limit by now.)  My hubby and I made a deal that he would take early shift this morning and I would tomorrow.  As I am tired of all the mutiny from within the household.  Six oh four rolls around this morning and my dog is whining.  Who does she wake, oh me of course.  And I stumble into the bathroom angrily.  And as I enter my room to feed the animals and take her out.  My hubby is awake and doing the morning duties.  Ahhh what a sweet man.  Surprise one - frustrating - surprise two - heartmelting.  I crawl back into bed for the beautiful world of sleep. beep beep beep, beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.  The monitor was losing battery.  Bitter me!!! So it isn't just the animals and the baby declaring mutiny, it's the world.  I stamp out of the room to grab the cord, plug it in.  And seethe my way into slumber.  I wake up and decide it is time to check in with my blood sugar.  I wasn't expecting perfection but figured it would be quite a bit lower from last week.  Lower but not near where I thought it would be.  Which means it must be broken.  I grab the monitor and ask my hubby for a favor.  He agrees because he is such a nice guy.  He did not know I planned to prick his finger.  He has a beautiful number.  So umm not the machine.  Now I'm frustrated at surprise 4.  But instead of diving into junk food.  (Well I did have leftover turkey tacos from last night but it was a lunch portion).  I decided I needed to work out so I didn't put it off for all day.  I decided to use the Wii Fit.  I got on the scale and saw I hadn't been on in a month and one day.  I know the habits I have been keeping.  I am imagining that I have gained up to ten pounds.  I am ready for it - Surprise 5 - I lost 4.2 pounds.  Really?  Thank you Wii Fit Scale.  I appreciated the pick me up.  Delight with Surprise 5.  And then I did the age body test - 22 years old for today's test - I 'll take it.  Here I was thinking I had lost all of my hard work for those two months.  Yes it was beginning to unravel but I caught it before it fell apart.  I guess I feel that is my lesson for today.  Life is full of surprises , the good, the bad, and the ugly.  We can prepare ourselves and then let it go.  Don't leave everything to chance that is not living,  but don't prepare for every possibility of rough times because a) you can't because it is impossible life still will surprise you, and b) you become a robot - you are programming yourself and your life but still avoiding life all together.  We need surprises.  The good are blessings and the bad tend to teach.  The ugly reminds us of what is truly important and matters at the end of the day.  When we barter all we have for the importance (family, friendship, and health).    I do enjoy a good surprise, but have learned so much from the other kinds.  For those of you experiencing the Whammy surprises.  You aren't alone and I promise there is a limit in life like there was in the game show.  We just don't know what that number is.  Life will get better!  God bless those who are hurting.

May your HealthFULL Journey teach you lessons with as painless surprises as possible and delight you many times over with the good surprises.  'Til we meet again. . .

Fifteen times two

Oh that's right folks I exercised a full thirty minutes.  My goal was fifteen minutes but hit thirty while breaking a sweat.  I forgot that sweat can feel good.  Your body is letting go of toxins because you are working it.  Not fun to sweat when one is just sitting inside an airconditioned house.  Which I have also experienced recently.  But to sweat because I actually grabbed my work-out gear and moved with purpose was wonderful.  I have a Bollywood DVD from the library and popped it in.  Now I didn't do all the jumps and adjusted as I saw best.  It's my body and it wasn't ready to leave the ground for a total of 55 times.  It did a little air, a few times.  Isn't it amazing when you place something on your priority list that it can actually get accomplished.  And I think it was a combo of the two but I felt so good.  A combo of actually moving my muscles who after working out for two months straight and then almost a month off were feeling neglected- cheered that I remember they needed some attention and purpose.  I also think my mood lightened because I wasn't feel guilty for ignoring exercise or postponing the work-out.  Having a little one motivates me to get priorities done in the a.m. when he is sleeping.  Because once he is awake my schedule is in the hands of a seven month old. 

Also my food victory was getting back into the habit of drinking water when home.  It wasn't the only beverage I consumed but it was an increase over recent weeks.  And that's great because we all got to start somewhere. 

So for Saturday I jumped, I sweated, and I reacquainted myself with my water tap.  It really is life's simple pleasures that keeps the world a happier place.  May your HealthFULL Journey spotlight your true desires, priorities, and blessings (big and small).  'Til we meet again. . .

Rays of sunshine

I have shared some "down" moments - I like to call them my Eeyore days (the gloomy donkey of Winnie the Pooh).  But as of my last writing I have been gathering my strength and editing my food choices.  There has been improvement and getting better.  Now it is time to start to improve my exercise.  I talked to a good friend tonight that got my juices flowing and wanting to get stepping.  However, I didn't as I let the tides of excuses wash in and slowly pull my energy and desire back into the vast ocean.  I get frustrated at not doing more or living this healthier lifestyle that I fantasize about.  I like how I feel when I move.  The energy is great, the looser clothes is nice, and that confidence is rising.  But then I catch a glimpse in the mirror and it is a sucker punch.  What? I haven't became the size 2 model I feel like?  Or then to give myself a boost let's step on the scale and applaud our efforts.  ON the count of three let's applaud the loss.  %$&*#) What!?!? I've gained!  Water-weight, stupid scale, my clothes must weigh at least five pounds, because no way after all this hard work could I have gained there must be something else.  But had I really changed from the two inches it took to step on the scale?  No but I let the negativity rob my joy, my moment.  And slowly I let my frustrations and temptations creep up on me and then surrendered.  Because I wasn't getting results fast enough.  Because the journey once again seemed endless.  I have hemmed and hawed.  Because quite honestly I am the queen of procrastination and pity parties.  What would be better though is if I stopped the nonsense and just put my two feet forward.  Exercise the fifteen minutes or even five just to remind myself - moving feels great and when strung together with enough effort feels amazing.  And stopped trying so hard to start the perfect journey and just began and let the journey unfold naturally instead of following a perfect set-up.  As my friend and I talked I had views on veggies and fruits.  That's right I have learned how to eat healthy but in the last month have covered it up like it didn't exist. It's time to uncover truths, put forth a little extra effort, and do it.  Next blog tomorrow is going to be about exercising and a food victory.  Because the baby steps once worked it is time to focus.  Because when we find ourselves trapped in the dark we seek out the rays of sunshine to offer hope, escape, and purpose.

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of sunshine. 'Til we meet again. . .

Hitting Bottom

Whew!  Isn't it somewhat a relief to feel the solid ground of the bottom? No more of this free-falling and wondering if there is an end?  FINALLY there is a foundation to finally pick myself up.  I have felt myself sliding and slipping on the slope.  But today I finally hit what I feared and it woke me up! It can't get worse but only better that's exciting.  There are possibilities, there is room to explore and grow, there is time, and there is. . . That's right there is more than I can even imagine.  Hallelujah!  I have binged, and I have felt sorry for myself, and I have consumed myself with worries and doubts.  But today I couldn't think of change, I had to start doing it.  Everyone has a different bottom, a different story, a different motivation.  I haven't stayed aware and had my epiphany moment of this is what will happen if I don't start becoming active in my life and make choices that help instead of ignoring the harmful options that stick themselves to us like velcro.  I had a bit of a health breakdown physically (I feel I have ran the gamut between the worlds of financial needing a new roof, breaking the computer, and insurance nightmare, spiritual as a dark cloud hovered near my heart, and emotionally and mentally between the black cloud, and the ripple effect it caused.)  So to finally hit the physical break was like finally let's get back on track and get priorities straightened.  I have all the pieces of the puzzle scattered near each other.  I can put this back together.  I let my sugar get out of control.  I have been guzzling soda pop (I usually drink diet but was trying to get away from the pop and was stealing my hubby's - and somehow had convinced myself I wasn't really consuming pop because I wasn't officially buying my brand.)  Can we say denial?  I had convinced myself to drown myself in juice.  So I had fallen in the trap of drinking numerous calories (all sugar!), eating a bagel (yes they can be yummy but so dense of carbs), and then INDULGED in a wicked sinfully sugary treat drowned out by a sugar filled coffee.  With a little dabble of fruit and very little else.  Can anyone else see the trail of sugar?  Shocking that I don't have ants following me like the Sugar and Spiced Suzy of Pied Piper ville.  I felt my body reacting (sweats, cramps, and dizzy in a somewhat alarming way) but I had once experienced this reaction that I mistook as food poisoning.  Oh it was food related but more of an overdose of sugar. The event hangs in my memory as the worst physical experience I have ever endured.  I thought I was going to faint in the bathroom that night and almost wished for death as I had no idea what was happening.  I wasn't quite to that point but realized I was showing similar signs.  I checked my blood sugar and it was through the roof!  It is a little too early to share the number but it definitely woke my sensibilities that this wasn't child's play and it was time to take claim of my health once more.  I was able to keep calm because of previous experience and the insight to realize.  This is the moment where decisions count and a life can change.  Oh my HealthFULL Journey has had its mountains and valleys, but it is time to take comfort in finally feeling the confidence to strike out a path.  Sure I'll stumble,  may even lose my footing, but I won't let go of my determination to finish and my sight to forge ahead. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with opportunities to see your path and the peace to not only survive your stumbles but thrive like a rose through them. 'Til we meet again. . .

Mutiny within the household

Oh it is time to change some things up in this household.  I must remind myself how much I love my pets.  Because between the pets and my son - my life has been crazy!!!  Mutiny was declared three days ago.  I believe the cat started the charge (my dog and cat are real life examples of Garfield and Odie) and pressured the puppy to do his bidding.  And the baby is starting to observe more and followed their lead.  Three mornings ago, I had a rough time sleeping which I believe is when I wrote the blog Buried Alive.  I then crawled into bed knowing I had exactly five hours to sleep which is perfect for me.  I can function and still be halfway pleasant.  Oh but the forces of the animal kingdom and the angelic lil' boy had decided to put their plan into effect.  As I crawl quietly into my sheets and trying so hard to not to disturb my amazing hubby (who really LOVES sleep) I gently lower my head unto my pillow and just about to sigh the sigh of sleep descending onto my body.  Yelps begin to crescendo quickly and loudly from the foot of the bed.  It was my dog catching her toe nail in her collar.  This has happened a total of five times in her two and half years with us but is an unmistakable sound.  I am in the beginnings of a sleep haze trying to figure out how to react.  I first reach for her but then realize I can't see her (sleep fog, she's black and it's dark).  It will be hard to disengage her without hurting her or myself.  So I fling the bedside lamp on and fling myself back to the foot of the bed where it appears she has disengaged herself.  I can't imagine but this little interaction between the dog and me woke my hubby.  Crazy!  So I flung back to turn off the light (after double-checking my puppy, readjusting her collar, whisper soothing words) and scoot myself under the covers to try to appear as I have no idea why my husband has awoken with a start.  Guess what?  I am fully wide eyed awake.  So not good, we are now under the five hour window.  No problem, just de-stress. Breathe in, breathe out and don't focus on the ticking minutes.  I finally fall asleep in about a half hour window.  No problem I can make this work.  Three hours and twenty-five minutes later I am awoken to a puppy whine.  Someone appears to be hungry and/or half to go outside.  I imagine hunger and pretend to not hear the whine.  This may sound cruel but keep reading.  Two minutes later the whining is no longer outside my bedroom but two feet from my face.  I squeeze my eyes tighter.  The dog then begins to lick my foot (mind you my hubby sleeps closer to the door and he is not being disturbed).  Okay you win dog.  I let her out, feed treats to the cat, and then feed the dog.  I am exhausted and can still catch an hour to sleep if I go back to bed this instant.  I quickly return to bed, scoot under the covers, one flip to the side, bring on the dreams.  And the monitor begins to crackle with baby grunts, next baby sighs, then unto baby babbles.  My head is echoing protests of NOOOOoooooooo!  The baby 99% of the time always sleeps one hour later.  Please not this morning.  And then the alarm of the baby scream of one hungry lil' guy.  Mercy I give! No sleep for this mama.  I charge to his room and begin his morning routine including bottle.  I have about twenty minutes I could return to bed.  But my hubby awakens as the dog felt both of us should be awake (though he did get the wake up call an hour after mine). I put the baby down and crawl back into bed for the full ten minutes to chat with hubby.  I then get ready for work and my voice mail goes off.  Guess what I don't have to come into work until two and half hours later, good thing my dog woke me up and hour and fifteen minutes early so that I can be two and half hours late.  Seriously! (I did go back to bed for that missing hour and I was a much happier person after my nap/sleep).  Next morning it can't be this crazy right?  Oh this time the cat decides to take matters into his own paws.  I woke up two and half hours early.  Why?  you may ask because my cat literally pounced on my bladder.  Now you might think this wasn't on purpose (but that means A. you don't know my cat and B. he was standing beside me like he was about to give me CPR except was pushing on my bladder).  Thanks Smokey!  Of course I would like to get up at this time to give you your treats.  I was only sleeping, what a brilliant idea to get up one-hundred and fifty minutes early so you can have your treats.  I took care of the animals and once again returned to bed after gaining my pets permission.  And then this morning (Saturday) I was literally pushed out of my bed at four a.m. by the dog.  I woke up gripping the side of the bed and my dog rolled over and literally pushed my legs unto the floor. 

This is my proof that mutiny was declared (I am a little nervous of what will happen in my sleep tonight).  Most of us are familiar with the saying that pets and babies pick up our moods.  My family appears unsettled and tense which means I got to get my act together or the furry creatures and the seven month old are going to take control of the house.  (Let's be honest they have always ruled the roost, the difference is now they know they rule the roost!)  It's time to dig deep and figure out how to gain my footing.  And if I can't figure it out I got to fake the confidence to make it work around here.  Things don't have to run perfectly but it is time to get things ship shape before the mutiny sinks us all.

May your HealthFULL Journey strengthen your relationships and make you all better versions of yourself. 'Til we meet again. . . .

Buried Alive

I have admitted my heartfelt devotion to the series "Friends" and remember an episode where Phoebe says this is what she wanted her tombstone to read "Buried Alive".  Made me laugh and now it makes me think twice. 


I've let myself become buried alive.  It starts slow but quickly gathers until you don't even realize you aren't really living because you've been buried alive.  I have buried myself under my excessive weight, my obsessive worrying, my demanding task lists, my unrealistic expectations, and my clutter (emotional and material nonsense).  I've lost some amazing qualities because of all the junk.  I haven't posted because I am allowing the garbage to once again wash in like the tides and break down all my hard work.  I am desperately looking for a guide, a sign, a map, a path, something, anything to move me away from this quicksand burial.  At least I say this, kind of believe it, and so desperately want to believe this.  But I think in a subconscious way I like the clutter.  I can't find you, you can't find me.  I have a million excuses at my disposal (a lot has happened in the last three weeks, for instance a leaky roof).  I bought myself a little present a couple of weeks ago, a bracelet with a reminder of the scripture Jeremiah 29:11 which reads "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

In all my clutter I lost a lot of things and perhaps the worst is I have lost my hope.  And it appears my replacements have been despair, fear, and anger.  What horrible things to grab from the top of my piles and what is even more upsetting is that those replacements are covering, hope and joy and patience and so many other beautiful treasures.  I'm hurting but am having trouble getting my ducks all in a row.  I truly believe if I could focus just a little bit to clear out some of this clutter I can find a good path.  And I need to stop obsessing about the perfect path to enjoy my perfect moments.  I have too many blessings to allow any more burials.  So I need to begin to dig through the clutter.  If you have a moment I wouldn't mind an extra hand, (a prayer, a helping hand, a pat on the back) and together maybe we kind find some hope.

May your HealthFULL Journey help you to Fully Understand Life by Living and that you aren't suffocated by clutter but surrounded by Blessings and Hope.  -Jeremiah 29:11- 'Til we meet again. . .