I have shared some "down" moments - I like to call them my Eeyore days (the gloomy donkey of Winnie the Pooh). But as of my last writing I have been gathering my strength and editing my food choices. There has been improvement and getting better. Now it is time to start to improve my exercise. I talked to a good friend tonight that got my juices flowing and wanting to get stepping. However, I didn't as I let the tides of excuses wash in and slowly pull my energy and desire back into the vast ocean. I get frustrated at not doing more or living this healthier lifestyle that I fantasize about. I like how I feel when I move. The energy is great, the looser clothes is nice, and that confidence is rising. But then I catch a glimpse in the mirror and it is a sucker punch. What? I haven't became the size 2 model I feel like? Or then to give myself a boost let's step on the scale and applaud our efforts. ON the count of three let's applaud the loss. %$&*#) What!?!? I've gained! Water-weight, stupid scale, my clothes must weigh at least five pounds, because no way after all this hard work could I have gained there must be something else. But had I really changed from the two inches it took to step on the scale? No but I let the negativity rob my joy, my moment. And slowly I let my frustrations and temptations creep up on me and then surrendered. Because I wasn't getting results fast enough. Because the journey once again seemed endless. I have hemmed and hawed. Because quite honestly I am the queen of procrastination and pity parties. What would be better though is if I stopped the nonsense and just put my two feet forward. Exercise the fifteen minutes or even five just to remind myself - moving feels great and when strung together with enough effort feels amazing. And stopped trying so hard to start the perfect journey and just began and let the journey unfold naturally instead of following a perfect set-up. As my friend and I talked I had views on veggies and fruits. That's right I have learned how to eat healthy but in the last month have covered it up like it didn't exist. It's time to uncover truths, put forth a little extra effort, and do it. Next blog tomorrow is going to be about exercising and a food victory. Because the baby steps once worked it is time to focus. Because when we find ourselves trapped in the dark we seek out the rays of sunshine to offer hope, escape, and purpose.
May your HealthFULL Journey be full of sunshine. 'Til we meet again. . .
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