To Be Still. . .

Be still and know that I am God. . . . -Psalm 46:10 (NIV -  partial verse)

 

This is not my home ;)  Welcome to the Biltmore Estate Christmas 2008 - Ashville, NC




Shhhh!!!!!! . . . . . .Deeply Breathe In and Long Exhale. Repeat and enjoy this time for one minute.  Wasn't that nice?  It is okay to take time to be quiet in this hurried season.  It helps to remember the REASON for the Season.  In the middle of a Christmas party I took a twenty minute nap.  Well maybe not in the center of the room but quietly snuck out to take in some quiet time.  A lot of news has been moving through my household  - some good, some not so good, and all a little bit stressful and then pour on the activities and schedule of the busy Christmas Season and I thought I was about to lose my mind. 

 

So I took a few moments to sneak out of my brother's house to appreciate the efforts of their entire household (echoed in many households this time of the year) from their decorations, to yummy treats, to beautiful children clad in their Christmas attire, while hosting a cozy festive affair inside their home.  I was without my guys as they were recuperating at home from their little bouts of illness. So it was me, myself, and I and I snuck unto their pool deck out of sight from the bustling household brimming with joy. 

 

It was the perfect moment to be still.  My brother loves Christmas lights - I mean loves them all: Icicles, twinkling, chasing, multi-colored, white lights, big bulbs, little bulbs, nettings, big ol' tacky Christmas blow-ups to a beautiful humble nativity scene removed from all of the over the top brightly colored items.  This scene serves as a great reminder to enjoy the festivities but remember the true REASON we celebrate and to preserve the holiness of the occasion.  Enjoy the treats, exchange the gifts but please take a moment to reflect on that miraculous night of holiness - the birth of our Savior - Emmanuel (God is with us). 

 

So as I said I snuck up the stairs which were high-lighted by multi-colored changing "carrot" lights (affectionately and appropriately described by my niece).  On their pool shed are slowly twinkling white lights that tried to be the death of my brother as he precariously stood on a slanted ladded resting on slanted ground.  Not the first time my brother's extra work benefitted me - he's a pretty good guy I must admit ;)  The air had a nice cool crispness as I settled into a pool chaise to face the white lights and surrounded by the decorated railing of carrot lights (cracks me up because they do look like carrots - how yet again a child's honest perspective daily changes my limited vision).  While resting in the moment enjoying the beautiful lights, the slight breeze nipping at my nose, and the sounds of my nieces and nephews running around with exuberant joy only to stop to welcome more guests - I felt God in the stillness.  It was beautiful.  I felt His warmth, His peace, and His love.  As I snuggle deeper into the chaise I begin to hear Christmas music and was worried for my sanity.  Was I really hearing Christmas carols or imagining them so vividly?  As a chuckle escaped from my lips I recalled that my brother has over the top Christmas decorations one being a tree that stands quite tall and dances/lights up in rhythm to the Christmas carols it emits.  Its a decoration that stands yards above the rest in function, fun, and true Christmas delight :)  

 

But as I sit there alone and just resting in the stillness I recounted all the times that I have enjoyed the quietness and wonder of enjoying Christmas lights and used them as almost a means of healing.  Christmas lights are a good ol' friend that has seen my rough edged kind of memory moments including concussion, break-ups (pre and post), breakdowns, rough illnesses of my own and those I love.  I think the soothing comfort traces back to early childhood as this was one of my favorite family Christmas traditions.  Every year mid-December (usually in honor of my brother's birthday) we would drive around for hours looking at the Christmas decorations surrounding our community.   Of course we had our yearly favorites, we would comment on many new additions those we liked or those we didn't, and we would also be still for minutes upon minutes just soaking up the delightful twinkling decor. 

 

All of this comfort of memories surrounded me with warmth and contentment as my breathing slowed into a deep quiet rhythm, my brain lulled into rest by the quiet stillness, and minutes passed as I enjoyed a Christmas night under the dark sky allowing the Christmas lights to shine even more. 

 

May your HealthFULL Journey be overflowing with joy, fellowship, and fun.  May there also be time to be still, quiet, and resting in the arms of God.  'Til we meet again. . .

Sometimes you have to just try. . .

Aren't Sundays nice?  Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.  I do love the family day aspect and I am lucky enough to work a job that I can enjoy every Sunday afternoon with my loved ones.  My hubby unfortunately does not have that luxury.  He tries to take this day off as often as possible so that we can have a family day but as he works as a department manager for a grocery store he tries to be fair and let others also enjoy the day with their families.  (He really is a good guy like that :)  But I love when we can get up as family, get ready for church and worship together.  Well here is the part when you just have to try.  I have been an overprotective (with many many reasons - some good some just first time mom jitters :)  mom of our little one.  I haven't let my little guy out of my sight too often unless relatives have been around.  I did try one time recently to drop my son off in a church nursery but I knew the caregiver and he was playing with one of his cousins.  But today we did the big moment.  We dropped off our little boy who is growing up way too fast with our church nursery.  And both him and his mommy did great!  He dove to one of the caregiver's arms for a cuddle (which lasted almost the entire hour :)  And I'll admit a little bit of jealousy - it was really nice to sit with my hubby the ENTIRE church service including the whole sermon!  It has been awhile since we have been able to do that since we have a babblin' toddler.  Our son tends to have something LOUD to say just about the same time our pastor wants to start his sermon.  So me and my little guy have tried to discreetly slip out so we can crawl and babble without competition.  So that was successful attempt number one.

Our other milestone as a family was to have our son drink out of a straw.  I tried to teach this feat quite awhile ago with little luck.  Do you know how hard it is to demonstrate to a very young child how to suck up a drink through a straw?  It is kind of like magic.  Watch mommy put her lips around her straw. That is a pretty easy step to demonstrate.  However the next step and the more important step a little challenging to teach.  Now see how mommy sucks water through the non-clear straw. No you didn't see that?  So without thinking about this lesson I just carried sippy cups in his bag.  But play the disaster music in your head - dun dun dun - as a family we were going out to eat after church and major obstacle.  I forgot to pack a sippy cup :(  Oh no!!!  We can't ask our kid to not have anything to drink since before church - eat lunch - and run errands without any beverage.  So with a nervous request to the server we asked for a kids water.  And wait for it - sure enough it comes with a straw - and the cup is pretty flimsy to attempt to drink from (and that takes a lot of rhythm and timing - not my strong suit).  So nervously I hold the sippy cup in front of my son - angle the straw towards him - and success (play celebratory music)!  What?  When did this guy pick up such a tricky skill?  I'll confess after a unsuccessful attempt the first time I figured let's chalk off this skill for a good couple of years and try again when we both speak the same language fluently :)  But no today was the day to drink from a straw because we simply tried. 

It's a long story for a simple concept - but aren't we all guilty of writing ourselves off or others because the first try wasn't a marvelous success.  Many of us have tried many diets and say to ourselves after the last defeat " It's not going to happen for me. "  Or perhaps we look for a job and go on many interviews that end with the all too common "We appreciate your interest but have decided to go another route - blah blah blah" .  Its hard not to get discouraged.  Especially it seems the harder you try or the more you want something the deeper "the failure" wounds your spirit.  I like to get things right the first time.  I like to be that star rookie who was meant to complete a certain challenge.  But you only get a few times in your life to have that moment.  And if we wait only for what we believe to be our guaranteed success stories we all tend to wait a little too long on the sidelines and miss those moments of learning that actually triple our chances of success, happiness, and opportunities that are far better than what we could even imagine.  This message "Sometimes you have to just try..."  is the foundation of why I write this blog.  I realized that several years ago for too many years I had let fear not only control my choices but paralyze me from attempting almost anything.  So slowly I began to challenge myself.  Share my weight.  Share my struggles.  Attempt activities that seemed impossible.  And to not be afraid of falling or failing.  And even if I was to be afraid (because I am me through this whole journey and I can be a bit of scaredy cat!) to not let my fear paralyze me and keep from living.  I have fallen many times on this journey.  Sometimes, I have taken myself off the path and hid in the bushes for what seems forever.  But then I remember I don't have to achieve guaranteed success in ALL of my attempts but that sometimes I do have to just try. . .

May your HealthFULL (Fully Understand Life by Living) Journey celebrate your successess especially the successes that came after many attempts, challenges, and the occasional heartbreak. 'Til we meet again . . .

The Power of Cleaning

Don't you just love a clean house? Or even a clean room?  There is something motivating about walking into a room where everything seems to be resting in their proper place.  But I think the "secret" spots are the most exciting when clean.  You know where I am talking about.  The "miscellaneous" drawer.  Your closet. Under the bed.  The cupboard where kitchen gadgets have gone and never returned.  Or that pantry shelf of unopened foreign but really interesting bottle of sauce, the bag with one lonely stale cookie, the crackers you bought on sale that are healthy but have no flavor but that you refuse to throw because then you feel guilty for not really giving them a chance but the thought of attempting to eat one makes your face instinctly go blech as you shudder that one shrug that emphasizes your disgust.  You get the picture.  Sure clean bathrooms, hung laundry, and clean floors freshly vacuumed - looks nice and feels great.  But that real deep satisfaction feeling comes from those areas that you clean for you.  The areas where houseguests shouldn't really be peeking and even family members who dwell within the same residence are mostl likely crossing private boundaries.  These are the areas we tend to overlook as guests don't notice and few can offer that positive feedback we crave.  But when we do take the moment to really clear out our special places we feel invincible.  Why?  Here are a couple of my thoughts: Because we took a moment to say our wants matter.  That I value myself more than I value clutter.  With every choice we make we get one step closer to knowing who we really are, by stating what we really want, and become the person we want to be. 

A little dramatic. Perhaps.  But there is something about the power of cleaning.  It truly is a whole person act.  Physically you are stooping, stretching, walking room to room, crawling, sitting, jumping, grabbing, tossing, scrubbing, and the list could easily continue.  Emotionally you are recalling why items matter or don't anymore.  Mentally we choose to keep an item or dispose of the item and then how to accurately place the item (keep - where to store and for how long, dispose - throw away, recycle, donate, give away, trade, or sell).  Financially you may keep more in your pocket as you don't have to buy replacements as you found a home for valuables or easily lost items (can we say stamps!!!) or you may loosen the purse to replace items that have lived a good life (I bid adieu to four pairs of jeans today). 

But the real point of today's entry.  I feel amazing.  I feel strong as my body was able to keep up with my long to do list.  I feel wise as I was able to keep my head in the game and make tons of decisions pretty easily.  Some of these chores have been on my to do list and creating guilt within myself and "graying" my mood as I bypassed these activities for numerous reasons.  But now that they are crossed off I feel accomplished and freed.  And definitely feel jazzed and excitement walking around my home and feeling that I have some wiggle room ; room to wiggle if I choose, to fill with items that make my heart soar, and that not everything feels so crammed. 

After some true sleep last night I was able to wake up and feel motivated.  A HealthFULL lifestyle has to start with rest.  Time to reflect, renew, and regain strength.  And once we regroup and refuel our energy we can make active and informed choices about our well-being.  By choosing to clean today I was able to let go of built up frustration and guilt by finding peace and joy. Both great feelings anytime but especially valuable sentiments during the holidays. 

May your HealthFULL Journey lead to moments of clearness as your life gains purity through the removal of clutter and the discovery of options.  'Til we meet again. . .

Mutiny within the household

Oh it is time to change some things up in this household.  I must remind myself how much I love my pets.  Because between the pets and my son - my life has been crazy!!!  Mutiny was declared three days ago.  I believe the cat started the charge (my dog and cat are real life examples of Garfield and Odie) and pressured the puppy to do his bidding.  And the baby is starting to observe more and followed their lead.  Three mornings ago, I had a rough time sleeping which I believe is when I wrote the blog Buried Alive.  I then crawled into bed knowing I had exactly five hours to sleep which is perfect for me.  I can function and still be halfway pleasant.  Oh but the forces of the animal kingdom and the angelic lil' boy had decided to put their plan into effect.  As I crawl quietly into my sheets and trying so hard to not to disturb my amazing hubby (who really LOVES sleep) I gently lower my head unto my pillow and just about to sigh the sigh of sleep descending onto my body.  Yelps begin to crescendo quickly and loudly from the foot of the bed.  It was my dog catching her toe nail in her collar.  This has happened a total of five times in her two and half years with us but is an unmistakable sound.  I am in the beginnings of a sleep haze trying to figure out how to react.  I first reach for her but then realize I can't see her (sleep fog, she's black and it's dark).  It will be hard to disengage her without hurting her or myself.  So I fling the bedside lamp on and fling myself back to the foot of the bed where it appears she has disengaged herself.  I can't imagine but this little interaction between the dog and me woke my hubby.  Crazy!  So I flung back to turn off the light (after double-checking my puppy, readjusting her collar, whisper soothing words) and scoot myself under the covers to try to appear as I have no idea why my husband has awoken with a start.  Guess what?  I am fully wide eyed awake.  So not good, we are now under the five hour window.  No problem, just de-stress. Breathe in, breathe out and don't focus on the ticking minutes.  I finally fall asleep in about a half hour window.  No problem I can make this work.  Three hours and twenty-five minutes later I am awoken to a puppy whine.  Someone appears to be hungry and/or half to go outside.  I imagine hunger and pretend to not hear the whine.  This may sound cruel but keep reading.  Two minutes later the whining is no longer outside my bedroom but two feet from my face.  I squeeze my eyes tighter.  The dog then begins to lick my foot (mind you my hubby sleeps closer to the door and he is not being disturbed).  Okay you win dog.  I let her out, feed treats to the cat, and then feed the dog.  I am exhausted and can still catch an hour to sleep if I go back to bed this instant.  I quickly return to bed, scoot under the covers, one flip to the side, bring on the dreams.  And the monitor begins to crackle with baby grunts, next baby sighs, then unto baby babbles.  My head is echoing protests of NOOOOoooooooo!  The baby 99% of the time always sleeps one hour later.  Please not this morning.  And then the alarm of the baby scream of one hungry lil' guy.  Mercy I give! No sleep for this mama.  I charge to his room and begin his morning routine including bottle.  I have about twenty minutes I could return to bed.  But my hubby awakens as the dog felt both of us should be awake (though he did get the wake up call an hour after mine). I put the baby down and crawl back into bed for the full ten minutes to chat with hubby.  I then get ready for work and my voice mail goes off.  Guess what I don't have to come into work until two and half hours later, good thing my dog woke me up and hour and fifteen minutes early so that I can be two and half hours late.  Seriously! (I did go back to bed for that missing hour and I was a much happier person after my nap/sleep).  Next morning it can't be this crazy right?  Oh this time the cat decides to take matters into his own paws.  I woke up two and half hours early.  Why?  you may ask because my cat literally pounced on my bladder.  Now you might think this wasn't on purpose (but that means A. you don't know my cat and B. he was standing beside me like he was about to give me CPR except was pushing on my bladder).  Thanks Smokey!  Of course I would like to get up at this time to give you your treats.  I was only sleeping, what a brilliant idea to get up one-hundred and fifty minutes early so you can have your treats.  I took care of the animals and once again returned to bed after gaining my pets permission.  And then this morning (Saturday) I was literally pushed out of my bed at four a.m. by the dog.  I woke up gripping the side of the bed and my dog rolled over and literally pushed my legs unto the floor. 

This is my proof that mutiny was declared (I am a little nervous of what will happen in my sleep tonight).  Most of us are familiar with the saying that pets and babies pick up our moods.  My family appears unsettled and tense which means I got to get my act together or the furry creatures and the seven month old are going to take control of the house.  (Let's be honest they have always ruled the roost, the difference is now they know they rule the roost!)  It's time to dig deep and figure out how to gain my footing.  And if I can't figure it out I got to fake the confidence to make it work around here.  Things don't have to run perfectly but it is time to get things ship shape before the mutiny sinks us all.

May your HealthFULL Journey strengthen your relationships and make you all better versions of yourself. 'Til we meet again. . . .

Sleepy-Sleep

Hectic week, so I am squeezing in two blogs tonight. As I shared my delight for the Purple Sweet Potato. I wanted to share a little humor about sleep.

Sleepy-Sleep

Oh bed how do I love thee?

You demand nothing of me.

Every night you provide my sleepy-sleep,

And every morning I so dread the beep-beep-beep.

As night grows near;

It is so nice to know you're always there!

I crawl myself to you

And hope that you can help me renew.

I slowly pull back the sheet

Because I feel so beat.

As I wearily crawl in

I feel your soothing coolness against my skin.

I pull the blankets up;

Kiss my hubby, my kitty, and my lil' pup.

I close my eyes

and hope it takes forever for the sun to rise.

Because my friend,

You know me from beginning to end.

You know how to hold me tight

and how to keep me comfortable throughout the night.

Please bed never think I intentionally shun. . .

Just some days everything feels undone.

Thank you for being a bed that understands

That sometimes the world has high demands.

You give and you share

And Without a word you show that you care.

So when we do not spend enough time

Think of this little rhyme.

Know that my adoration is true

and that I can't wait to dream my dreams with you.

I have no criticism against you, not even a peep!

Because Bed, I am always thankful that you provide my needed Sleepy-Sleep!

Pleasant dreams when you find yourself needing a well-deserved rest on your HealthFULL Journey.