Spreading the good news

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,

 faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. --- 1 Peter 4:10 NIV

My son has a joyful spirit.  He bumps his head and giggles.  He shrieks with delight when others laugh and play along.  And he smiles ....a LOT!  I wish I could take credit but this is his gift.  He loves life....he embraces the moment and without a word challenges you to laugh at the world too.  Drew teaches us to smile at what "now" can bring not what was or what will be but what right now can bring.  He does faces - he's learning to roll his eyes, muster a serious gaze, and show distress but still has a glint in the eye and tilt of the head to share a giggle after he is understood. He makes me want to do better.  To not miss an opportunity to graciously accept the blessings of today but to also seek those moments where I can share my gifts and hopefully add to the glory of God's kingdom. 

For three years I have been sharing on this blog my goal to get healthy. I started writing this in anticipation of the physical pounds just melting off my body.  Sure, I would write that its a journey and a process.  But in my hopes of hopes I thought within a year I would be sitting in my chair typing as my skinny version.  I did not know at that time that the weight I had been carrying wasn't all physical.  I toppled the scale with pounds of hurt, anger, resentment, grudges, disappointments, regrets, and worries - tons and tons of worries that not only piled on the pounds but bound them to my frame.  I had much work to complete, many life experiences to endure, and tons of challenges to conquer.  Many blessings have found our home and covered us in comforts, love, and much hope. Every area of my life has been touched, stretched, and improved in unmeasurable proportions.  But yet the weight remains an ugly picture to such a beautiful journey. 

So this weekend my hubby and I had one of those sincere heart to heart conversations where all the layers of politeness and untruths are left unraveled on the ground leaving only the purest, most sincere answers of honesty remained.  He dug and coached and pulled what I really hoped to accomplish this year.  And after many ----MANY resumes being sent to find that perfect job to replace the nanny job of mine with only five more days  left to work an e-mail requesting an interview found my inbox.  As of today I am re-employed with no days to celebrate my farewell to a summer I will always treasure as I embrace my new role as an afterschool counselor.  The best benefit besides the children I will meet and the work that will challenge me and allow me to share my gifts of education, entertainment, and encouragement I get a free gym membership. Not only do I get to share my faith but I get to be held accountable for my true goal of embracing my physical health.  It's time to get fit and trim.  God will use my strengths but even more impressive is that He will also build up my weakness.  One of my favorite verses is John 3:3 "He must become greater; I must become less."  It can be easy and its always fun to share our gifts and our strengths.  But sometimes the best thing we can do to prove God's awesome power is by showing our weakness and offering it to allow God the chance to display His greatness - for He is the Almighty.    

It was a special weekend for our family and I am blessed to have two amazing guys.  One to teach me the joys of life and one to challenge me to the purest desires of my heart so that I can be the best possible version of myself. 

May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life as you find joy in the here and now by being honest with yourself and sharing the gifts that only you can deliver. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Tresses that were full of Stresses

Oh when I put on my Supermom Jeans I felt powerful and energetic.  After cutting my hair I felt like a brand-new woman!!! The tresses had to go.  I haven't had a proper haircut in two years, maybe a quick trim - two at the most.  That's a lot of time and a lot of damaged hair that held too many stresses.  My hair was the longest it had ever been.  As a society I believe we have taught many people that long hair usually equals a pretty factor.  That there is pride in our locks and it shows we have willpower and patience to grow out our hair.  Or people like me who just don't get around to the hairdresser.  Believe me this haircut is long overdue and been on the to-do list for at least six months.  My poor fantastic hubby patiently listened to every one of my complaints, whines, outbursts about this too long of hair.  He listened as I yakked about how I pulled my hair (accidentally) and my son pulled on my hair (for sport), how the chairs would tug my hair and I would wake-up with headaches as I continually gave myself whiplash as I would roll over my hair and then try to pull my head up.  Argh!  And finally it was time.  I called, I made an appointment and slashed it off my to do list.  The stylist cut my hair within five minutes of my arrival and as soon as that scissor snipped my hair - angels sang and I smiled the mega-watt smile. 

Because it wasn't just hair she cut.  She helped my de-stress the tresses.  That hair held heartache and worry as I would run my hands through my hair as I sang and whispered to my son in the NICU so many months ago.  Those abandoned strands held pain and frustration as I tugged it into a messy bun after my hair being pulled yet again by one of the many sources.  Those locks were loaded with guilt as I hid my face behind them in hopes to fade away from the world.  There were some dark moments these last two years and those hairs held every memory of sadness, every second of anger, and every instance of worry.  It held no joy because I keep that in my heart :)  But the tresses were stressed and therefore became more stress.

Last night I slept like a baby as I drifted into the land of slumber roughly nine o'clock.  Which is crazy unheard of behavior from me.  Which meant I woke up early with energy.  Not anger or frustration at the early rising but well rested and headache free.  I was able to be at my daily goal of seven thousand steps before ten am as I had a work-out with the Bollywood Burn (newest dvd from the library ) and yes it did burn.  I haven't worked-out besides walking in far too long of time.  Good time to mix things up since I was a brand new me :)  Then unto a walk with one of my favorite guys and canine :)  Then for an encore this afternoon I was back to raking.  I did a small section with my supermom jeans but without my stressful tresses I was able to conquer 2/3 of the yard.  Yay! 

Hair does tell a story.  I love how a seasoned hair stylist can read your lifestyle by the state of your tresses.  As we were deciding on cut and color (as I felt two years without a haircut meant there was room to splurge :)  my stylist mentioned how I could pull off a lighter blonde as I had light hair as a kid.  I did.  But I thought that shade was long gone but she knew.  She could tell how many countless tugs of ponytails and buns my hair experienced.  But my hair was telling a different story that I no longer wanted to co-author.  My tresses were displaying all my stresses and resentment and hurt and on and on.  But these days I have a pep to my step and a sappy to my happy :)  It was time to share that story with the world.  Thank you tresses for being a long for the ride - but in the nicest way possible - GOOD RIDDANCE!

May your HealthFULL Journey eliminate the stresses,  polish the tresses, and make you feel like a more joyful energized brand new version of yourself. 'Til we meet again. . .

A child's delight

It is my child's joy that keeps me on this journey.  I may slip.  I might fall.  I sometimes faceplant.  But I cry it out, laugh it off, and pull myself together to do it all over again.  However, I am trying to figure out my son's endless joy.  I TRY to keep things interesting and he just loves it all.  I work towards a goal and if I meet it before even celebrating I am thinking what should be my next goal.  Not my fifteen month old.  He truly captures the moment and lives in that second.  He cries when he is upset, he laughs when he is happy, and actively observes in between.  For example, last Sunday I decided it was a good fort day especially after our little church meltdown - my meltdown though my son contributed.  All I am gonna say is we were fifteen minutes late, handed in our offering, was ready for the sermon, and then my son started babbling and getting antsy - we stepped out for what I thought would be a minute to compose ourselves or the whole sermon as my son planned and one of us might have lost our pants (that one was my son - although I was the one probably mortified).  But again perfect example - I was looking forward to worship - the singing - the sermon.  And my son was excited to see so many people, and have room to crawl in the narthex which is crazily empty during worship :) Although I do tend to enjoy my pastor's sermons I probably will remember spending time in the quiet narthex with my son more in the years to come then the exact words that were preached.  Do you get caught up in the shoulds, the coulds, the woulds, the goals, and the events?  Or are you like my son and  you just live and breathe in the moment? 

Anyway, you might understand why I thought it was fair to have an easy afternoon?  Who doesn't love a good fort?  My skills are rusty but vast improvement from the one I attempted a month ago.  I am trying "to plan" and design a sturdy fort - with the ease of being casual and just good fun.  (but then the competitive side leaps forward and screams in my head this is going to be the best most perfect fort ever designed.)  And my son?  Sees a new obstacle and lunges for the half up sheet which is not sturdy by any means and certainly isn't ready to brace a quickly moving 21 1/2 pounder.  I kept telling him "Just wait, when the fort is finished we'll have so much fun".  And he responded with giggles as he threw himself repeatedly into the sheet or covered his face with excess sheet for some peek-a-boo.  I half laughed, sweated, and muttered about how this fort was going to be a success if it kills me.  I am rearranging furniture and huffing and puffing.  And my son is rolling on the floor laughing and pounding on the "new furniture" as it takes new location and climbing under and over EVERYTHING! 

Once the fort was up my son stood proudly under the draped sheet and tried to touch the "ceiling"; as time passed this challenge became easier and easier. He scooted and laughed until his heart's content.  I turned on Mr Popper's penguin and decided Mission accomplished!  There was so much fun to be had and I missed some of it because I was so caught up in the destination.  Not my son - he didn't miss a second!  I kind of believe he added seconds with his endless delight :)  It was the journey with twists and turns of what is going to happen next?  When the sheet wouldn't stretch far enough and started to flutter to the ground.  I thought Argggh! "stupid clothespin!"  And my son saw "new game", or "How cool! it covers me and I'm hiding.  I'll have to dig myself free!"  I had a minor heart attack as one of the chairs fell; while my son saw a new climbing challenge.  He feels the moment and I run right through them to get to the next moment. 

I have a lot to learn from my mini muse.  I look forward to smaller sizes and pounds lost.  But that is only results.  The journey is everything else.  I like to check off excercise from my to do list.  But I need to be grateful for that time of feeling healthy, embracing time with my son, and growing stronger in all aspects of my life.  I mentioned my son because he is my cheerleader, my inspiration, and my number one fan.  He applauds my crazy dancing.  He eagerly crawls into my arms when I am marching around the living room.  He tries to steal my pedometer :)  But most importantly every day he lets me know I matter.  And because of him I need to continue to get better and improve by moving forward.

May your HealthFULL journey highlight those people who matter: those who inspire, encourage, applaud, and share in your journey. 'Til we meet again. . .

 

Buried Alive

I have admitted my heartfelt devotion to the series "Friends" and remember an episode where Phoebe says this is what she wanted her tombstone to read "Buried Alive".  Made me laugh and now it makes me think twice. 


I've let myself become buried alive.  It starts slow but quickly gathers until you don't even realize you aren't really living because you've been buried alive.  I have buried myself under my excessive weight, my obsessive worrying, my demanding task lists, my unrealistic expectations, and my clutter (emotional and material nonsense).  I've lost some amazing qualities because of all the junk.  I haven't posted because I am allowing the garbage to once again wash in like the tides and break down all my hard work.  I am desperately looking for a guide, a sign, a map, a path, something, anything to move me away from this quicksand burial.  At least I say this, kind of believe it, and so desperately want to believe this.  But I think in a subconscious way I like the clutter.  I can't find you, you can't find me.  I have a million excuses at my disposal (a lot has happened in the last three weeks, for instance a leaky roof).  I bought myself a little present a couple of weeks ago, a bracelet with a reminder of the scripture Jeremiah 29:11 which reads "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

In all my clutter I lost a lot of things and perhaps the worst is I have lost my hope.  And it appears my replacements have been despair, fear, and anger.  What horrible things to grab from the top of my piles and what is even more upsetting is that those replacements are covering, hope and joy and patience and so many other beautiful treasures.  I'm hurting but am having trouble getting my ducks all in a row.  I truly believe if I could focus just a little bit to clear out some of this clutter I can find a good path.  And I need to stop obsessing about the perfect path to enjoy my perfect moments.  I have too many blessings to allow any more burials.  So I need to begin to dig through the clutter.  If you have a moment I wouldn't mind an extra hand, (a prayer, a helping hand, a pat on the back) and together maybe we kind find some hope.

May your HealthFULL Journey help you to Fully Understand Life by Living and that you aren't suffocated by clutter but surrounded by Blessings and Hope.  -Jeremiah 29:11- 'Til we meet again. . .