It only takes a Spark

Do you know that good ol' campfire song? 

It only takes a spark - to get a fire going. 

That’s how it is with God’s love
Once you’ve experienced it,

you spread His love to everyone
You want to pass it on.

 (I believe this is title Pass It On written by Kurt Kaiser - great song - lots of memories singing it :)

I had the best of intentions to write two other blog entries before this one.  But life happened and quickly passed.  I was going to share some of my struggles in a post titled Derailed and then the next one was to be more upbeat how sometimes we need to "Drop Everything for a Hug" sharing some of my parenting joys and letting go of some of the chores for more smiles both from me and my son.  But as hours passed and now we are on a new day overflowing with joy.  That I just had to share where I was today. 

First last night I actually went out with a friend - no hubby, no toddler,  but me as Suzy with no other titles or responsibilities other than to be present.  It was amazing!  To laugh, to talk UNinterrupted in more than two word sentences, and to actually eat when the food was still hot.  I don't do this a lot.  As you probably guessed by my enthusiasm.  But when I do carve away that time I wonder why I don't do it more often. And then as I head home with excitement and feeling rebooted to spend time with  my guys I remember how much I do love to spend time with them - chores and everything :)  But we do need that break to refresh, maybe it's time alone, maybe a creative project, maybe work, maybe a night out with friends, or maybe a chance to give back.  We are intelligent human beings who crave stimulation.  We need opportunities that feed our senses and if we keep ourselves in the same patterns and environments it is hard to stimulate those senses.  However, once we hit refresh on those senses we can come back to our "daily lives" with new perspective - which in the end can change any or everything!  

So after my enjoyable evening (which I have to brag about my hubby not only being a good sport about taking on single parent duties, but also my biggest cheerleader to encourage this much needed girl time.); it was to be an early morning this gorgeous Saturday.  Again my fantastic hubby took on playing the parental role solo so that I could attend a charity/awareness event.  As you may know one of my 1 resolutions for this year was to participate at least monthly with purpose with a new charity.  I really debated if I wanted to walk/stroll this community event "Race for Adoption" to raise awareness about adoption.  It was only a 5k and we've enjoyed the last couple we've participated.  But after prayer and a lot of thought I decided that it would be fun and different to actually volunteer for the event, not just be a participant. 

The race started at nine in the morning, but volunteers were requested to be there between seven thirty and eight.  Oooh!  Not that I wouldn't be up by that time but dressed and ready to help not a very typical Saturday morning.  These are usually good jammy mornings for my son and I.  But I arrived around 7:40 and looked around for the gathering spot.  I found the man in charge who put me in contact with the guy with the clipboard.  That should have been my first clue that he was the best guy to talk to.  What is it about clipboards?   Don't they make everyone look so organized and official?  I was assigned Turnpoint 2.  That's how early I was for sign-ups :)  What was so great about this position?  You got to see the participants early in the run and then close to the end of the race as this was one of two spots they passed twice.  Me and my turnpoint partner felt it was our volunteer duty to not only point out the way but cheer and applaud with enthusiasm :)  I am sure some of the participants appreciated our effort, I'm also sure some were annoyed but probably not as much as the people who lived in the houses near where we stood.  But I felt moved to applaud for so many reasons.

It was such a blessing to see people of all ages, sizes, and health ranges participate.  I think there were close to 280 runners/walkers for a first time event.  Pretty impressive.  It was inspiring to see the parents out pushing their newborns and toddlers in double-strollers,  people who are struggling with weight ( I know that fight well!!!) but still out there giving it their all, people who are grandparents still finishing the race of three miles under thirty minutes (I couldn't do that!), and those runners who run daily (and you can tell) and are graceful and impressive, there were teenagers chatting it up, solo walkers who might have been praying or meditating.  But all together just a beautiful sight and opportunity to people watch.  This was real reality tv :)  Guards down and people just doing their thing using different sources of motivation. 

These people without trying were so motivating I got home feeling just pumped.  It was still a tish downcast but gorgeous and I grabbed my son, his stroller, and our dancing dog.  Our dog just gets so excited at the appearance of an impending walk.  And together my little trio walked about a mile and a half.  This is usually our stroll around the neighborhood but after seeing everyone come together and compete or stroll according to their skills and mindset; I just had to get outside and walk.  I also decided that next year especially if they hold this same event.  I am going to be a participant and not walk (well the whole way :) . I may not run/race the whole way but I do want to finish the three miles in under thirty minutes.  That's my goal and I want to be held accountable.  In one year's time I am going to finish a 5k in less than thirty minutes. I can do this.  So thank you runners for inspiring me.

It only takes a spark!  You can be that spark!  I believe this is a quote of Theodore Roosevelt's I love it so much I wrote it twice in my Bible - "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

There is no time like right now to share your inner glow :)

May your HealthFULL Journey offer you ample opportunities to refresh so that you can be that spark to motivate others.  'Til we meet again. . . 

   



And then there was Sunshine

Its hard to remember the warmth and the light of the sun when you are caught in a dark threatening thunderstorm.  Its frustrating to feel trapped and that any and every step will get you drenched or put you at risk.  And then the rain stops, the lightening and thundering fade, and clouds part and there it is -the sun; bright and ready to shine.

I get the momentum and everything is clicking on the healthfull journey and then lightening storms pop up.  Colds and their icky symptoms flood our household.  We throw away our routines on vacation.  And the locomotive of health stops in its tracks and retreats.  I tried really hard to stay on track with at least being active on our vacation.  We didn't even go to the beach and still played outside.  This has not always been true for us.  But we found two awesome playgrounds to have our whole family engaged.  But as I admitted I ate the opposite of healthy in New Orleans - but their food is so good and rich (if you choose their delicious sauces and such - and I DID!).  So I kept up with half of the healthy lifestyle.  Well before I corrected my eating habits - I got hit with the big old cold that drains energy and had me walking less and less....and less!  And the eating not improving so I started to feel threatened that I would never catch my locomotive of health.  So with purpose and thought I would dig in my heels and force myself baby steps.  I am back drinking soda but not the three - four cans a day.  I bought Coke Zero in 7.5 oz can.  And I am trying to allow myself up to one a day.  1 and half days in and I have had two.  So we'll see.  I got myself back to walking after a couple of days rest for the cold.  And I felt the break I took as I attempted our big hill and started pushing myself mentally mailbox to mailbox (there are eight on one side of the big hill :)   And today I ran a couple of quick errands.  The two both could be ran via drive thru.  Because its convenient I tend to use this advantage.  But I figured this is an easy extra two hundred steps I can choose to take.  The world is making it easier and easier to be lazy.  We have to make a commitment to make decisions to be active in our own lives.  Don't get me wrong that I will NEVER again use a drive -thru but when I have time then I need to remind myself this is a choice I can make to add years to my life by taking three extra minutes here and now. 

Its easy to get lost in those dark clouds.  But I promise you if you seek the sunshine you will eventually see past those threatening clouds. 

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." - Proverbs 15:13

May your heart and body be healed on your own HealthFULL Journey when you seek the SONshine and that His light and warmth protect you from those threatening dark cloud kind of days. 'Til we meet again. . .

Strides for Autism

Do you know someone who is personally affected by Autism?  Or do you know a family member of someone who falls on the sprectrum?  The chances are very likely in today's day and age. Once upon a time, around 1950, the prevalence of autism was estimated 1 in 10,000 people were diagnosed with autism.  The numbers of today for children in the United States : 1 in 88.  Do you know 10,000 people?  Probably not - at least on a personal level.  Do you know 88 people?  Probably several times over without too much effort.  There are tons of reasons these numbers have greatly changed.  We are becoming more aware - but we also need to take a more active approach in research to help reduce the causation factors and also learn how we can support our friends and family affected by life on the spectrum.  Its not easy to classify in a neat description.  But those who live with autism themselves or within their households realize that it changes everything.  You may have seen the awareness ribbons - quite attractive with the bright colors that look like puzzle pieces.  Here is a great site that displays the ribbon and description : http://www.autism-society.org/about-us/puzzle-ribbon.html .

I like to walk for so many reasons.  But sometimes it is good to have goals.  So every year I try to pick at least one cause or several to raise funds and get out there to move.  A reminder to myself that health really is a blessing, one many of us take for granted too often - until we get a cold, a flu, or those dreaded test results or a frightening diagnosis.  A diagnosis our catch 22 in life.  We want validation when we see a doctor, a medical professional, a specialist.  We like that a diagnosis points us in a direction and hopefully comes with a cure.  But sometimes, especially after our patience has been tried, too much pain felt, confusion abounding and frustration burying us we finally receive our long awaited diagnosis.  And sometimes when we finally hear "the official word" we want to return it because ignorance seems a better alternative.  Because the diagnosis was too scary.  Too much unknown.  Or too well known with little success rates.  Perhaps its manageable but not curable.  Or if curable a hard unrelenting uphill battle.  These are our friends and families who need support the most.  Many of you might identify cancer with these examples.  And absolutely that C-word is a dreadful word to hear.  But a diagnosis of autism can also feel this way.  It can bury a family in depression.  Thats why we need to continue to fight together and support each other.  We waste too much energy in blame and pointing fingers, even sometimes bullying to separate ourselves from responsibility or a little extra work. 

It doesn't take much to help in most instances.  A kind word.  A listening ear.  A few dollars out of many pockets. An extra look to see how you can personally use your talents to help.  At the walk today they called in a fun run.  Along the path were little activities to "spice" up the walk.  Touch your nose.  Bunny hop. Spin around.  Smile bigger.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily activities, daily lives, daily duties that we forget to take that extra minute and spin our children.  To offer a silly grin.  Seconds these take to brighten a whole afternoon for both you and whoever you're with.  I challenge you to look for extra signs in your day on how to brighten someone else's day which in turn (I guarantee!!!) will also brighten your own.

I thank you all so much for the prayers, the support, and the donations the Strides for Autism today at Heritage Park in Simpsonville, SC was a great success.  There was a good turn-out.  Some great fun (including a Zumba work-out) and a beautiful song written by a father with a child who falls on the Autism spectrum. 

We still would love to meet our goal and you can still donate online at: https://scautism.org/strides/team/3/

Puzzles abound,

Mysteries swirl,

And sometimes frustration grows!

But yet, there are moments so precious,

that steal your breath;

because for one minute

we glimpse their world.

We meet where there is purity.

Where there is no confusion

and everything makes sense.

There are a lot of smiles,

perhaps a few cheers,

and only tears of delight.

But then all too quickly

someone closes the curtains

and the light dims.

And though we are are near each other

we no longer can communicate.

So. . . we start again!

We work with hope.

We work with determination

because even if all we share is a moment---

It was a moment too precious

too important

too special to miss!!!

Join us in our fight for autism

to unlock the puzzles that silences these precious gems.

Help us to help them.

Help us to share their story.

Help them to be their best version.

And help the world be better because of what we ALL can offer.

May your healthfull journey lead you to places beyond your craziest dreams and happiest fantasies. 'Til we meet again. . .

P.S. If you like the picture of autism awareness I found it at http://www.cafepress.com/kcgraphics/2318994 with a lot of amazing images and merchandise for sale.

Tresses that were full of Stresses

Oh when I put on my Supermom Jeans I felt powerful and energetic.  After cutting my hair I felt like a brand-new woman!!! The tresses had to go.  I haven't had a proper haircut in two years, maybe a quick trim - two at the most.  That's a lot of time and a lot of damaged hair that held too many stresses.  My hair was the longest it had ever been.  As a society I believe we have taught many people that long hair usually equals a pretty factor.  That there is pride in our locks and it shows we have willpower and patience to grow out our hair.  Or people like me who just don't get around to the hairdresser.  Believe me this haircut is long overdue and been on the to-do list for at least six months.  My poor fantastic hubby patiently listened to every one of my complaints, whines, outbursts about this too long of hair.  He listened as I yakked about how I pulled my hair (accidentally) and my son pulled on my hair (for sport), how the chairs would tug my hair and I would wake-up with headaches as I continually gave myself whiplash as I would roll over my hair and then try to pull my head up.  Argh!  And finally it was time.  I called, I made an appointment and slashed it off my to do list.  The stylist cut my hair within five minutes of my arrival and as soon as that scissor snipped my hair - angels sang and I smiled the mega-watt smile. 

Because it wasn't just hair she cut.  She helped my de-stress the tresses.  That hair held heartache and worry as I would run my hands through my hair as I sang and whispered to my son in the NICU so many months ago.  Those abandoned strands held pain and frustration as I tugged it into a messy bun after my hair being pulled yet again by one of the many sources.  Those locks were loaded with guilt as I hid my face behind them in hopes to fade away from the world.  There were some dark moments these last two years and those hairs held every memory of sadness, every second of anger, and every instance of worry.  It held no joy because I keep that in my heart :)  But the tresses were stressed and therefore became more stress.

Last night I slept like a baby as I drifted into the land of slumber roughly nine o'clock.  Which is crazy unheard of behavior from me.  Which meant I woke up early with energy.  Not anger or frustration at the early rising but well rested and headache free.  I was able to be at my daily goal of seven thousand steps before ten am as I had a work-out with the Bollywood Burn (newest dvd from the library ) and yes it did burn.  I haven't worked-out besides walking in far too long of time.  Good time to mix things up since I was a brand new me :)  Then unto a walk with one of my favorite guys and canine :)  Then for an encore this afternoon I was back to raking.  I did a small section with my supermom jeans but without my stressful tresses I was able to conquer 2/3 of the yard.  Yay! 

Hair does tell a story.  I love how a seasoned hair stylist can read your lifestyle by the state of your tresses.  As we were deciding on cut and color (as I felt two years without a haircut meant there was room to splurge :)  my stylist mentioned how I could pull off a lighter blonde as I had light hair as a kid.  I did.  But I thought that shade was long gone but she knew.  She could tell how many countless tugs of ponytails and buns my hair experienced.  But my hair was telling a different story that I no longer wanted to co-author.  My tresses were displaying all my stresses and resentment and hurt and on and on.  But these days I have a pep to my step and a sappy to my happy :)  It was time to share that story with the world.  Thank you tresses for being a long for the ride - but in the nicest way possible - GOOD RIDDANCE!

May your HealthFULL Journey eliminate the stresses,  polish the tresses, and make you feel like a more joyful energized brand new version of yourself. 'Til we meet again. . .

Let's Use our Feet

Let's use our feet is an expression a dear friend of mine would ask when she wanted to go for a walk.  On these walks we would share our daily lives, our dreams, our fears, and sometimes just the silence of walking with a friend.  They are some of my sweetest memories.  But why didn't she ask if I just wanted to go for a walk?  She had a very smart dog who L-O-V-E-D walks!  If we used the W word - the dog had to go.  This was a dog with short legs and couldn't walk as long as we used to enjoy.  Our penance would to be to walk with the dog around the block a couple of time or 1/2 mile and then we could go on our real "walk".  Then the dog caught the spelling version W-A-L-K also meant pure bliss and that is how the Let's Use Our Feet became our secret code :) 

Well I write this entry today because I want to use my feet.  There are two causes in April that are both very near and dear to my heart.  On April 14, 2012 I plan to walk a "FUN 5k" in support of Strides for Autism in honor of a sweet little princess named Madison :)  I have worked in the past with peoples of disabilities.  It is a career I miss very much as it was some of the most rewarding work (if you can call it that as there was much fun to be had and many memories that still make me smile) I've had the privilege to do.  Autism used to be diagnosed in extremely rare situations and has endured some horrible falsehoods.  One being that people diagnosed with autism were autistic due to refrigerator mom syndrome.  Basically that their mothers did not show them enough love.  What a horrible thing to believe and many people did for way too long of time.  Much research is being done (and needs to be done) because the prevalence is very real: 1 in 110 U.S. children with boys outnumbering the girls four to one.  (I don't have an article to support this fact as it is the most common stat I have read in at least ten articles/books within the last three years).  Good chances you know someone or a family that includes a person with autism.  I include family because this is a disability that doesn't change one person's life but all of those who support that person.  Communication, behavior, and health can all be altered due to autism.  This a disorder with a large umbrella of all those it affects and how it affects each individual.  There is not a one size fits all solution.  But as more research is done, more people can be helped, supported, and encouraged to live the best version of themselves.  If you would like to support this charity please donate funds at https://scautism.org/strides/team/3/ for Team Madison!

The other charity I plan to Use my Feet is for the March of Dimes when we will March for Babies April 28,2012.  I live in South Carolina and our statistic according to March of Dimes research is that one in seven babies are born premature.  There is a reason a pregnancy is meant to take forty weeks and what develops the most in the last couple months of pregnancy- lungs and brains.  Those are two very important organs; they help us breathe and they help us think.  I started writing this blog as a reaction to take my health more seriously when my niece Lilli was born at only 24 1/2 weeks at the weight of one pound six ounces and twelve inches long.  She could wear my brother's wedding band up to her shoulder!  She is doing amazing!  But thanks to research and support she is alive and can see.  She faced a very real risk of going blind, but because of research - doctors were diligent in their observations and knew what warning signs to watch.

Almost a year after our niece's birth, my husband and I received news that we were to be parents.  Our joy grew but I have to admit there was always a gray cloud hanging in the back of my thoughts. I feared my son being born prematurely.  I witnessed a miracle and the wonders God can do. But I also witnessed and felt the rides of a frightening roller coaster ride that involves a NICU stay.  When I hit my twenty-fifth week of pregnancy I rejoiced, but not for too long as my body started to show signs of distress a couple of weeks later.  I was put on bedrest and four days later was admitted to the hospital.  I was given steroids in hopes of speeding up my son's development.  Every night I prepared myself for the possibility of my son's birth physically (no food or liquid after midnight) and emtionally (prayers of the healthiest timing) and every morning I was wheeled to an ultra-sound where tests were ran on both my son and myself.  It was deemed on my ninth day in the hospital that the safest alternative for Drew and me was to deliver.  I was only at 29 weeks.  My son was born at three pounds and eleven ounces and seventeen 1/2 inches long.  That is just a tish longer than a legal size piece of paper and lighter than most roasts.  My son was placed in the NICU for forty-four days.  I am grateful for the research that has been done on prematurity, the staff who cared for and about our son, and the prayers that lifted up our entire family.  Not everyone has the success story that we experienced twice in our family.  Every family should have the moment of welcoming home their own miracle.  Please help me support the efforts of March of Dimes.  My team page is http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1731408 where you can see a couple of our miracles and donate to our family team : Early Bugs.  Or you can also donate online at www.marchforbabies.org/SuzySullivan . 

Your funds are most appreciated for either or both charities - that is why I am Using my Feet in hopes of raising money for these two organizations.  But there are other ways to show support; Prayers are always needed and appreciated, encouragement is nice, and advertising these web addresses through e-mail, facebook, twitter, or your own blog/website is beyond helpful :) 

Thank you for your time, your assistance, and your support.

May your HealthFULL Journey motivate you to use your whole self. 'Til we meet again. . .

Under Construction!!!

Oh don't you just cringe at the sign "Detour Ahead"?   Blech!  And we all have our gripes about road construction.  But usually we all want the end results.  Yes we want the wider interstates so there will be less traffic jams and hopefully LESS car accidents.  But we hate the inconvenience.  I want the awesome results just don't mess up my daily routine to get them, right? 

Well as I tend to call this my healthFULL journey I am learning that I want the end results but that means I have to put in the extra work of adding detours and mapping out my new blueprints.  You don't go from 300+ pounds and in two weeks at optimum health looking great in a bikini.  (Although there are a lot of diet pills, scams, and books that want you to believe ANYTHING is possible ;)  But if I want the end result to be better for the future that means some uncomfortable detours now. 

First I have to listen to my body of today.  Yes I want my future lifestyle to include healthy eating and exercise to be my daily fun not my daily chore.  Its getting there, somedays I feel I am there at the end of the construction project and other days I look in the mirror and say "DANGER AHEAD!" . So first I have to eat for this body of today.  Not the one I had two years ago and need to let go of those comfort foods of past (pop/soda, chips, and sweet pastries) and I look forward to craving my daily needs of beans, greens, and little meat.  But not quite there.  Too much health food might have me running back towards the comforts of the past :)  I ate chinese two nights in a row.  Oh many of you know how I crave those sweet sauces, and fried tastiness.  How does this fit into my new blueprint.  One night we ordered in and one night we cooked it ourselves.  Our version twenty times tastier than the delivery version.  I don't know how fresh the restaurant's food is but I know exactly the freshness and what ingredients we cooked with. 

I want to get more active and I wish I could say that my family never overlooks the beauty of a beautiful day.  Today was a gorgeous day for a family walk.  We however ended up taking a family nap.  Which also can be healthy.  Obviously, we all needed a bit of extra sleep.  This is something we should either adjust at night or that we all do have a tish of a bug.  I am getting over a cold and my sweet darling son decided to puke on me three times in a row (there is nothing worse than sour milk).  It actually was this last incident that made me think of the detours we need to take for the betterment of our later journey.  His second bath for the night and my evening shower weren't necessarily on our agenda but when a detour pops up sometimes we don't have a choice but to follow. 

It would have been easy to say after the low key day and not feeling a hundred percent to say oh phooey to the exercise portion.  But after two suppers of Chinese food back to back - my body kind of begged for a little health stop.  So I checked my pedometer at 11 pm and still had about 1500 steps to equal at least my regular daily goal of 7000+ steps.  This had me exercise for my body of today and not for the ideal road conditions of the future or the abandonment of the past.  I didn't grab shoes, or a sweat towel and honestly just stayed in pjs and began to pace my house.  With a steady non-quick pace in twenty minutes I was able to check on my son, switch over laundry from the "sick" incident, straighten a couple of things in the kitchen, and manage to walk my 1500 steps to complete my daily goal.  Yes, I could have easily finished those couple of things in less than two hundred steps and call it a night.  But if I want different results I need to approach things differently so in my mind it was time for a detour. 

It isn't easy to change old patterns of comfort into healthy routines but with a few detours and adjustments along the way; I have the utmost confidence we can all maximize our HealthFULL Journeys.

May your path conditions improve with the help of detours that encourage hope for a better life. 'Til we meet again. . .

 

Living means to be Aware.

This post was originally to be titled "Minty Fresh" and that the herb Mint was our new produce of the week.  I thought about sharing how we used it with lamb.  Considered doing light research on the computer about the benefits of adding fresh herbs to meals.  But then life happened and I realized Mint was no longer on my thoughts but the importance of being aware seemed to be smacking me in the face.

Currently our house is in upheaval.  My wonderful hubby is off on a retreat which I will be taking one myself soon.  This leaves us separated for a couple of days at a time.  We tend to be those couples that do a lot together.  So this is a little surreal.  We split parenting duties - a lot!!!! In the last day I have found myself communicating with his ghost.  Alright you pour the milk and I'll grab the boy and change his diaper.  And how rude, I return and no one has poured the milk!  When I need to tag-team out of responsibility for just a three minute sit down.  There is no partner to tag and our delightful toddling son only sees my weakness as his advantage.  Isn't it funny how much more we aware of a person or an object when they go missing? 

I also wanted to write from this present mind as I am doing okay healthfull journey wise today.  I am not being super fit and super healthy but I also am not doing horrible and moping on the couch  (maybe a small part of myself would love to be a couch potato :)  I  ate not the best choices today.  But I did walk over 12000+ steps today.  I had two slow days this week around 5000 steps.  The rest right at 7000 steps.  But I made myself  AWARE of how many steps I took today as the day progressed.  For most of the day I made myself get up and walk around or jog at least 1000 steps each hour.  This helped keep me moving, but not to an impossible standard.  That is less than fifteen minutes every hour of just moving.  It didn't have to be working out and sweating (though there were spurts as I looked at the clock and saw I had less than ten minutes to add 700 steps :) . 

I got some cleaning done today which helps me feel energetic.  When we bog ourselves down with a guilt - laden to - do list it drags us down and drains our energy. At least I am AWARE of this phenomenon for myself.  By clearing items off the list for the weekend I feel more available to my son, to myself (tell me I am not alone on withholding pleasures because chores are unfinished - a quiet hour of reading, an indulgent bathtub, a decadent dessert?) and to life.  I feel stronger, more energetic, more sane, organized, accomplished which leads to confident, and frees up my spirit to be playful.  Crazy how items that take as little as ten minutes steal moments, hours, days from my life because I procrastinate, whine, and sometimes just plain ignore the situation. 

Another  moment of AWAREness is how awesome that a regular everyday kind of day can be life - altering.  Sometimes, this is not an awesome realization, but can be that kind of moment where your heart pounds in anticipation, how your mind begins to overwork the gears at the infinite possibilities, and how just for a moment you are lost in the surprise.  Because sometimes if you are willing and AWARE life decides to sparkle in the simplest of pleasures - child goes to sleep, an old friend drops you a note, a book has an inspiring quote, or you just stop; breathe in, breathe out - and realize you are beyond blessed.

May your HealthFULL Journey help you gain awareness of your surroundings and the blessings that already glimmer in your life.  'Til we meet again. . .

That first step. . .

This whole journey has been filled with first steps.  Retrying first steps. Re-doing first steps. Repeating first steps.  And the whole process after a strong first step ...baby steps.  So many times I charge gung ho down the trail.  Let's do this!  We can do it!  This feels awesome!  To quickly retreat the next day (or halfway through my own personal pep rally) thinking have I lost my mind?  I can't do this....I don't want to...this stinks....no fun! ....and blah blah blah.  Sometimes I argue with myself just put the tennis shoes on.  If nothing else happens so be it.  But at least tie the freakin' sneakers unto your feet.  So I tie my sneakers and never have I decided that was enough.  I figure once I have the shoes on my feet I might as well use them.  I work great with boundaries.  I tell myself "You just have to do one lap but should probably stop after four laps.  Or walk as much as you can in fifteen minutes."  This gives me limitations so I don't feel like I have to walk to New York and back to feel I've accomplished my task. Challenging enough to get me off the couch but not overwhelming that I feel there is no point to give up the lounging. 

Also I need something to add change to the daily work-outs.  For awhile the new DVDs from the library were great motivators.  Then my goal to cover an extra mile boosted me to walk daily.  On the new horizon I have a new pedometer.  Noticed I said new?  Yup I have tried the pedometer in my past.  But I didn't like mine it didn't motivate, actually it discouraged me.  I had purchased one with the intention of walking 10,000 steps a day as that should be my goal according to an article I read at my heaviest.  At my heaviest weight this might be shocking news.  I was not walking anywhere near 10,000 steps.  I wasn't even walking 5,000 steps a day.  I was walking in the ballpark of 2,500 steps a day.  That included work, leaving my apartment, getting ready and I barely covered a mile within a day.  That is heartbreaking. And discouraging.  I was barely covering a 1/4 of my goal.  So without much intention I began to forget my new friendship with the pedometer and let it stink into the miscellaneous drawer with much adieu.  However, now I am ready to add the pedometer into my daily routines.  My average routine consists of 5,000 steps without even trying. (Vast improvement from seven years ago).  This pedometer is actually a tool purchased by my company to encourage a healthier lifestyle.  My cost is zero dollars which makes this free!  Who doesn't love a bargain these days.  It tracks your progress online and rewards you for the different milestones you achieve with different prizes.  Ahh now some friendly competition - excellent!  I have worn my pedometer for three days.  The established goal is to walk 7,000 steps a day at least five days a week.  But in my head sits that old nagging number of 10,000.  Because once you hit 7,000 why not try for 10,000.  However you get extra points for walking 12,000 steps in a day.  So on my third day once I hit my 10,000 (which I had done the first two days!) why not try for 12,000 and I did. Hopefully you can read the 12,069 in the picture as proof I'm really doing this.  I really am onboard this time to be the healthiest I can be. 

I am not the only one "stepping" up my "A" game.  As a Valentine's Day surprise our little boy decided to take his first steps.  Five to mommy and five to daddy.  I figure if my son is going to start walking; I better push myself past that first step as well. 

May your HealthFULL Journey begin with that first step and quickly multiply.  'Til we meet again. . .

12 Resolutions for the 12 months of 2012

Well this has been quite a journey and it still continues.  You think you found the perfect path and then you hit a dead end, a crazy detour, or get lost and end up back in the same spot.  So you turn back to your trusty compass and gaze at your map.  Circle the paths that were working and figure out a new route.  There is no time better than the present.  Today is the first day of the new year.  And rumor has it the end of the world is nearing.  If that be true I want to leave as the best version of myself.  Of course with my Christian belief the Bible states (my paraphrase follows) that we don't know what hour our Master will return - so basically, let's get to work and do it now.  So if this journey is to be FULL of Health that means my goals should be all encompassing, a little physical, a little mental, emotional, spiritual, you get it, it should be for the whole picture so lets count em down.  12 goals for the next twelve months in this fabulous year of 2012.

12.  Lose 102 pounds.  The weight isn't my number one priority but it is a goal.  It is an unusual number.  I like even stevens usually a bold hundred a perfect ten.  But 102 pounds would bring me to 178 pounds.  I have never seen that number on a scale in my adult life.  179 is the lowest number I have seen and it was when I was nineteen - twenty years old.  So let's eliminate decade within a year.  Its a daunting number but attainable - pound by pound.  It also means I have lost nine pounds since this journey started 2 1/2 years ago.  But also in that time I did gain a total of forty one pounds (mostly pregnancy related) so in actuality I've lost fifty pounds again. So we'll keep on the downstreak!

11.  Another physical thing is to continue the new produce or grain once a week.  This helps make a game out of eating healthy and stretching the horizons of what we imagine we could eat, should eat, and would eat.  This allows 52 opportunities to consume a variety of vitamins and minerals in combinations we wouldn't otherwise know.

10.  The perfect ten has to go to cooking myself at least twice a week.  And not just cooking but learning a new recipe at least one of those two times but hopefully twice.  This enables me to take more control of my health.  It will help me not get caught in the trap of helplessness, boredom, or being overwhelmed by all the life matters we can't control. 

9.  To round out my physical improvements means I need movement.  Documented exercise.  I want to work out thirty minutes five days a week.  But even more specifically to cover at least 366 miles this year of walking.  I will count walking as part of my exercise during the week.  But it would be awesome on those days I can count it as a bonus.  That means one mile a day.  Let's pound some pavement or at least some carpet!

8.  I need to be more charitable.  It is time to research some charities.  And to be more consistent in giving and less about the taking, demanding, and whining.  My goal is to donate to at least one charity every month: whether it be time, money, or donated goods.  There are a lot of people who are doing amazing things to help those who need the extra hand.   My soul thirsts to be more like a servant as I have ignored the calling several times.

7.  Speaking of the Call.  It is time to reconnect in a stronger fashion with God.  I plan to read the Bible in one year's time and to take true meditative time with God on a daily basis (not just in times of distress which is too common for me).  God is blessed me with too much that I have taken for granted too often. 

6.  Another calling  - what next?  I finished my B.A. this year which feels pretty darn good to mark that of the to - do list.  It waited for nine years but it is crossed off.  But now I have to figure out what's next?  A new vocation?  Start a business?  Attain a masters?  Lots of ideas but no true road map.  Time to get research done and by 2013 working towards the next great challenge.

5.  Let's get creative.  This may be my favorite goal.  I love to be creative and playful.  Each month I am going to learn either a new skill or build upon a creative process.  This might mean taking a class to learn how to do pottery.  This may mean picking up  a how to learn a new language.  This might mean trying out for a play.  Perhaps I establish a routine to write fiction/poetry.  But it is time to get the juices flowing and the heart pumping.  It will feel good to awaken that part of me once again.

4.  Time to ...I even feel anxious typing this. Time to Socialize more.   I tend to lead a hermit lifestyle.  In the past I used to have people demanding jobs that I was pretty good at.  But I tend to get easily connected emotionally to people and it would zap a lot of my energy.  Other people's dramas, creating my own drama, and then stressing that I wasn't helping enough or that I wasn't capable to do more and I had a rough year that I shut down.  I lost 10 people close to me in one year.  All different levels of intimacy and relations, some were sudden some were expected.  And these deaths were sandwiched between my mother in law being diagnosed with cancer (a survivor of 8+ years Amen!) and my own mother's diagnosis of cancer (a survivor of 7+ years - another Amen!) and in that time I quit college (nothing to due with what has already been mentioned I just didn't know where I was going or what I wanted at 22), got married (to the most amazing man in the world and still my best friend), moved, and started my first salaried position where forty-four people's lives were under my care. That was all in one year and also in that one year I gained seventy pounds.   Sooooo yeah I kind of needed a break from people, responsibility, and instead of taking a break I kind of just shut down.  So its time to wake up and get out.  So I plan to have at least one extra outing a month not just family or work related.  For some that sounds super easy but this may be one of the hardest areas for me to stretch.  (and in honesty if I try a class or group activity - I'm counting it!)

3.  Budget - I don't like to budget: not money, not calories, not time.  I like to be spontaneous, at least I say that.  But really it is another way to say I don't like to be controlled or pressured or to stick to rules.  It crushes my freedom, it suffocates the spirit of fun.  But not really I just allow myself to feel that.  We all can use a cushion for "those days" and if you have read my blog I tend to have a lot of out of those blue kinds of experiences.  So my hubby and I are going to sit down and comb through expenses and start true rainy day funds and not just talk about it.  Blech! My stomach is already churning.

2. Time to organize the chaos.  Some people are naturally gifted in completing tasks in a timely manner, keeping things together, and just letting objects gleam in cleanliness.  I am not one of those people.  I try hard to have routines that keep me and my family being swallowed up by household clutter and try to designate areas for those have to grab items.  But it is a challenge. I am going to do a thorough cleaning (this is not the weekly or daily cleaning necessary to keep the household moving - laundry, dishes, vacuuming, ect.) in every area of our house once a month and each week take an hour to truly organize (actually create an address book, gather recipes that we enjoy in one spot, designate locations for important papers - declutter the filing cabinet).   

1.  The big number one is to truly be grateful within each and every day.   To count a blessing every day. Hopefully this will take down the stress but more importantly remind me that it truly is a wonderful life and that all of us are granted a gift of life on a daily basis.

May your 2012 be a chance to let go of what brings you down and to welcome all that builds you up. 'Til we meet again. . .

We need a little Christmas

I love Christmas.   It holds so many precious memories for me.  Obviously the Reason for the season is most important.  (Thank you God for your most precious gift!!!)  But call me cheesy, but the Christmas magic is so uplifting.  I have had some rotten Christmases (mono, post-concussion, horrible flu, strep throat so extreme I can' close my mouth and the list continues.) But that's not what I remember.  I remember family traditions of marching to Silent Night.  I think of hot dogs and German potato salad on Christmas plastic plates that belong on Christmas place mats easily reaching their second decade. I can taste the sweet coolness of egg nog as we unwrap gifts one by one and laughing as a family for hours.  Usually with/at my brother's reaction (but in our defense, he truly is the hardest person in the world to shop for!)  I love Christmas so much I was determined to have a Christmas themed wedding.  Which usually means a December date.  However, my husband and I lived in North Dakota/Minnesota.  (literally fifteen minutes apart).  Blizzards are a normal occurrence during the winter and as our bridal party and close family were traveling from eight states we really couldn't predict if everyone would be able to make it.  Also we got engaged in October and wanted to be married within a year.  So we got our Christmas theme but celebrate our anniversary in July.  (Get it? Christmas in July :)  (First before you judge we got awesome deals on all decorations :) 

But second?  No one else can choose what matters to you or understand to what depth you care.  We choose our attitude, we feel what we feel, and we control our actions .  So in the end we have to fight for what we want.  In a healthFULL Journey.  Not every choice is perfect.  Not every decision is "right".  But hopefully most of the actions and choices will lead us each to our "true" goals.

This thought is on my heart as we are days away from Christmas.  The hustling and bustling is all around.  And it is easy to get caught up in the chaos.  But hopefully we don't all get swallowed up.   Today my hubby and I had a rare day off together and packed up our son and hit the shops.  We had a long to do list - presents and then our daily house needs.  We accomplished a lot.  But when your list is a mile long it is hard to feel completely finished.  And after a long day (with a ton of walking) there was a wonderful Christmas moment.  My son was in his pjs.  Enjoying his last milk for the day and we cuddled together on our recliner (Which happened to be bought exactly a year ago in anticipation of our son's arrival home from his 44 day stint in the NICU).  Dinner was in the oven for the adults (chicken with creamed spinach and a mushroom risotto).  (LOVE Freezer veggies in steamer packs - easy way to get some veggies in a hurry).  Hubby was sitting next to us.  Few lights on with the Christmas tree and Charlie Brown's Christmas on.  The moment was quiet, comforting, and love-filled.  So yes Christmas can be crazy.  But in those quiet moments exist a beautiful breath of the Christmas spirit.  Those moments are worth fighting for. 

May your HealthFULL Journey get you closer to your goals and highlight the moments that are too precious to lose.  Don't forget we all need a little Christmas!  'Til we meet again. . .  

The Broken Umbrella

Oh if my life was a movie this week... cue into the closing scene where a woman walks down the sidewalk in front of her office building with a bounce in her step and a giggle on her lips.  Now if this truly was a movie the woman would be 5' 11" just over a hundred pounds in a gorgeous trench coat- fantastic make-up and perfectly coiffed hair possibly a french twist, mega watt smile with a confident stride and the background a slight sprinkle of rain with a touch of sunlight.  But before we go into the fade back let's really examine the final scene.  Because this blog isn't a movie but about my real  HealthFULL journey on how I can Fully Understand Life by Living which means there are lots of these moments.  Here is the true final scene: A heavy set woman, no make-up, a quick ponytail, an awkward pace to her gait, and a giggle bordering between hysteria or tears, with an open broken umbrella and a gloomy gray sky with spurts of wind. Now the choices that lead into this scene.

Its Monday because this is real life and real life seems to come together harshly this particular time of the week.  We are approaching wintertime here in the South and instead of facing a harsh blizzard we tend to see a lot of drizzly depressing rainy days.  This would be one of those days.  I hate driving the truck in rain.  The accelerator tends to stick when it gets a little chilly and the automatic truck pretends it is a bucking bronco. Not fun!  But as I pull into our parking lot - wait for it I actually have an umbrella on me.  This is news because for seven years of our marriage - my husband and I did not own a single umbrella.  But I now own one that matches my purse.  Fancy I know!  My hubby calls it my little umbrella and I love it...or I did, but I am getting ahead of myself.

Work begins and time passes.  The minutes tick down and the clock is nearing break time.  Oh I so have the Monday blahs.  Its cold out and rainy.  No walk I pout, stomp, and whine I don't wanna.  But don't want to do something doesn't mean I can't.  That I am physically unable.  And I realized that as an adult I can't give into my teenage rebellion or even my child-like tantrum just because I don't feel it.  Sometimes we have to weigh our wants vs. our goals vs. our needs.  I didn't want to walk but after my high blood sugar reading (the highest I have had in over a month) I needed to walk and that my goal is to lead a healthier lifestyle.  Well grab the umbrella because we are going for a walk : sunshine, rain, or snow pull on the tennis shoes we're hitting the pavement.  Did I have other options then walking outside?  Absolutely!  I could have walked the steps in our five story building (they are bit daunting and creepy).  I also could have stretched in my cubicle for fifteen minutes but who wants to create that kind of scene.  No I'll take my cute little umbrella and walk.

It felt good the first break.  There is something about the smell of rain that is energizing as everything is refreshed.  The confidence building as I did something good for myself and I didn't even want to do it.  But I dug deep and accomplished my goal.  Its that first step willing to embrace the activity, isn't it.  I convinced myself go outside.  If you only walk once around the building so be it.  But my body craved movement and once the first step happened it was easier to follow it with 1500 more.  Great first break.

The day continues on and the afternoon break looms before me.  I silently debate my options.  I already had fifteen minutes under my belt.  Do I really have to commit another fifteen in the rain?  Yes because I knew I was working late, when I get home I will be exhausted and on mommy/wife time.   So if I wanted to get my full thirty minutes in for the day this would most likely be my last shot.  Plus it really was refreshing the first break.  Grab my tennis shoes and adorable umbrella one more time.  Hmm...the grayness seems a little darker.  The wind has picked up a little speed and an extra chill as I sink a little deeper into my coat.  One time around the building done.  I am feeling a shot of pride, a bounce in my step as my confidence grows and as I am too busy applauding myself a lot happens.  I notice the wind is picking up my umbrella and flinging it around.  I see one of the spokes has bent and then one final gust pulls the umbrella out of my hand as I simultaneously trip over the sidewalk.  (The same sidewalk that I have walked numerous times all of a sudden has a crack that raises three inches off the ground just enough for my shoe to catch it and stub my toe).  I lose the umbrella to the ground as I stumble three steps forward bracing myself for the inevitable fall and side step my umbrella (I don't want to break it) and the wind carries my friend away into the street into upcoming traffic as I twirl to catch both my balance and in a half-hearted attempt to catch my little umbrella.  I watch in horror as a SUV comes racing down (or driving normal speed)  bee-line towards my umbrella and I wondered if there was any possible way my umbrella could be spared and if not; Can an open umbrella hurt a moving SUV?  There was something child-like as I wanted to race into the street and save my priced possession like a child does their ball.  But miracles of miracles the umbrella is spared.  I grab the umbrella and race to safety.  As I turn the final corner towards my office building.  It was like I was not only in a movie but a cartoon as I look up into my umbrella.  As I gaze upwards one spoke (not the bent one) drops into two pieces.  I try to close the umbrella to see the damage and there is one side that sticks out now with the two pieced spoke and the bent spoke and I do the only thing that seems natural.  I giggle at my blessed misfortune.  Yes I tripped.  I lost my umbrella.  And my umbrella broke.  But I walked for thirty minutes.  I actually had a working umbrella for 28 of those minutes.  My umbrella did not get run over (and I didn't have to pay for any damage towards an expensive looking SUV).  And though I tripped, I didn't fall nor sustain any true injury. Well a little bruise to the pride as I was beginning to think I was all that and a bag of chips.  But a near fall and a broken umbrella bring me back to reality.  So Broken Umbrella thank you for the memories, the lessons, and the humility.

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of opportunities that lift you up and catch you when you fall. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Hit that Snooze one more time

Oh you've done it.  Admit it.  You hit the snooze button.  More than once, almost every day.  Lately we don't use the alarm clock.  Oh we set it every night pretending that is the time we get to sleep.  However, our alarm is a cute 2 1/2 ft almost one year old with might fine lungs.  And he is enjoying learning how to use his "voice".  Each morning we are awakened to a "new" sound.  Sometimes giggles, cries, screams, babble, and pitches from murmuring to squealing.  But this alarm comes with no snooze.  He runs on his own energy source and only when he deems it is snooze time will the alarm be quieted.  But this morning I had to work early so I awoke to the alarm. . . at 5:30 am.  I have been faithfully working out in the morning to feel energetic and trying to lower the blood sugar ASAP.  With life these days if I leave the work out until later; later NEVER happens. 

But this morning was a SNOOzzzzze morning.  Where thirty minutes would make a world of difference.  I even argued in my head as I returned to bed across the room.  If I want work outs to be a priority then here is my chance.  To choose exercise over sleep, to choose health right now vs.  I'll get to it.  And then I crawled into my covers and nestled my pillow.  And thirty minutes later I hit the snooze one more time for a five minute refresher.  Then I forced myself out of bed scolding myself I am going to regret missing that uninterrupted time for exercise.  Finally I bartered with myself and scheduled myself to walk at least a half hour at work (even arguing with myself I couldn't help but snicker "Yeah right!")

Hold on though - I didn't walk thirty minutes today at work I walked forty-five.  That's right I was able to squeeze in 5000 steps right around my office.  Did I want to?  Not every step of the way.  Am I glad that I did it?  Resounding yes!  Because once I left work it became a whirlwind of little events that become easy distractions.

Health has became a major priority.  No excercising isn't always my number one on the list.  But it is  high and is a must do on the list.  Not the list ; when I have time, later, soon,  whatever, who cares.  Because excercise has been on all of those lists.  Now movement hits the list with a planned agenda - when, where, and for how long.  I snuck my tennis shoes on my feet as a way of telling myself.  You're doing this and there is no excuse.  You've got your shoes, you've got the time, and you could use the boost (sunshine, fresh air, endorphin rush, you name it - I needed it :) 

I feel good.  It's amazing how accomplished I feel because I crossed an important to do off my list.  Yeah it is frustrating that it will be right back on top of the list tomorrow. But for today it was crossed off.  Just have to keep reminding myself - this is not a healthFULL race but a HealthFULL journey.

May your HealthFULL Journey find successful and satisfying ways to accomplish your priorities. 'Til we meet again. . .

Not always what you think

Wouldn't it be fun if life matched our thoughts/plans? Today we attended a Strawberry festival. It was to be both a family outing and a chance to get some movement. I imagined a beautiful day where we stroll, sample some tasty food, admire a couple of crafts, people watch other families do the same, and hear some good music. Oh doesn't that sound nice? Not at ALL what occurred. We arrived and saw the crazy madness, maybe it isn't as bad as it seems. But oh it was! We unloaded the stroller and began to play mad rush stroller derby with all 100,000 other people. We struggled and rammed our stroller down the crowded lanes and not even two minutes in our little one was turning into a strawberry himself. I believe his stroller design was creating a sauna effect. We spent about a half hour walking around but not at the smooth stolling pace I had hoped. More like a variation between a painstakingly crawl and ramming speed demon. Now festivals serve some of the unhealthiest food in the world because they will fry anything and at the strawberry festival. They fry anything and everything and add strawberry syrup. Delicious! In a sickening sweetly kind of way. Ahh they have maybe my favorite carnival treat, funnel cakes. Aren't those treats awesome? They hold so many memories of fun. These aren't an everyday treat, funnel cakes mean you are having the time of your life (carnivals, amusement parks, festivals). And we saw a location that was selling funnel cakes with 10 different toppings, oh my, delicious fried goodness with powder sugar and a topping selection. Oh too much temptation. I love variety and always feel empowered by a choice of limited edition selections. You never want to miss an opportunity to have the tastiest treat ever!!! But with this much build up could any treat ever meet this demand. No. And funnel cakes have a gazillion calories with no nutritional value. So my victory was bypassing these sweet treats (although a peanut butter choice and a chocolate strawberry choice did catch my eye of fancy). Also another food victory at the festival was we had picked up lunch three selections for thirty dollars. Are you serious? And no drinks! Outrageous! But festival prices never fit reality. We begin to eat I had chosen a turkey leg. This meal was like munching a brontosaurus bone. Ridiculously big, it also tasted a lot like ham which wasn't what I was going for. And after the ridiculous amount spent there is a click in the brain I must eat all of it as not to waste the money. But my new way of thinking is reteaching the brain, the money is gone. It is not coming back. If I am full after eating a third of what I ordered then I am still wasting the food by continuing to munch. The only difference is I have to carry the extra food at my waist instead of treating it like the waste it is and throwing it away. My stomach is starting to send the signals to my brain and I am actually starting to hear its message. STOP EATING! I wonder how long my stomach has been trying to share these messages. "I am full. We're good. Please stop!" But slowly I am beginning to hear the murmurs and feeling the difference. May your HealthFULL Journey be FULL of ideal moments and true connections. 'Til we meet again. . .