Temptation knocks the door down!

We've all heard the expression that we need to be careful because opportunity only knocks once.  But let me tell you temptation knocks the door down with you behind it.  In other words, temptation does not disappear.  I fell hard this weekend.  First you need to know that I did whip up four dozen cupcakes - two different flavors with two different HOMEMADE frostings for my son's first birthday. My baby is one!!! And yes I still call him my baby - we discussed it and agreed that on the eve of his eighteenth birthday we will discuss if he can still be called my baby boy (and I am pretty sure I will veto his answer :)    We had yellow cake with cream cheese frosting which made our goalpost and then milk chocolate cupcakes with truffle frosting then made up our football (if you caught the colors were black and gold in our version - Geaux Saints and please don't mention the Rams we are still licking our wounds!) Oh this truffle frosting gave me a fight but I saw opportunity and I wasn't going to let my team down.  You are suppose to not stir the mixture (against my better judgement and instinct) after you add the chocolate chunks to whipping cream and let it cool overnight.  The next morning I had cream sitting on top of my seized chocolate.  I could have thrown in the towel but I gave it a go. I reheated my chocolate double boiler style which makes me nervous and melted my chocolate and stirred the mixture together.  Then I cooled the mixing bowl in the freezer.  I tried to whip together my frosting after forty minutes but it needed more time to cool.  I tried again after forty minutes and victory stomp because I had a frosting.  YAY!  I tell you this victory to share my fall.

Temptation is patient and knows you better than you do yourself.  It darts in and out of your daily activities and when you think you are on top of the world it is ready to hammer you down and call you like a long lost siren.  While you are running victory laps it begins to pat you on the back as it keeps pace with your wins.  And then the pats on the back become taps on the shoulder and then a beckoning finger and luring whispers.  Yes we celebrated Halloween - took our son to a mini version of trick or treat (we had to show off his adorableness in his Tigger costume), handed out candy and threw a party which we shopped for tasty ingredients and started to whip up some crowd favorites.  The trick or treat no problem.  When buying candy I chose a more expensive option to keep lower carb candy around in case I was tempted.  But I guffaw at you candy.  Not the least bit interested.  I then whip up four dozen cupcakes not so much as a lick on the finger (and there have been many batters that I have sampled over the years).  I left a couple of cupcakes frostingless as they were legal as a snack - without frosting.  The day of the party I barely nibbled and when dinner came around I cautiously loaded my plate - guessing my best numbers on the carbs being consumed.  Sunday through Thursday - High level of success.  Mmmm Friday hits - little bit of temptation as my delicious frosting calls from the fridge.  I should have thrown out the extra I know. Forget the cake I love frosting.  Give me a corner piece any day - higher frosting ratio.  I have not proudly bought frosting to just eat the frosting.  I know!  So I tell myself one spoonful for a sugar rush - You can stop trying to stifle your laughter because after one spoonful came the second spoonful and soon the third.  Finally the fourth I reminded myself this has a lot of carbs and it was the fifth that I slammed the lid down and shoved the frosting back in the fridge.  Whew not good - but not horrible.  But then I had a leftover plate of the party fare - got to get rid of the leftovers.  I did not count as well as I did Thursday.  Must get away from temptation - friday night babysat and brought cupcakes to give away - invited my mom over saturday and passed off more cupcakes to her house.  So Saturday night we don't want to cook and ordered in - Chinese.  I  enjoy Chinese food especially delivered.  This is my go to order when I get a night all to myself.  Order chinese - turn on a good movie and call it a day.  We avoided deep fried and overtly sweet sauces (which is really the point in my mind - grease plus sweet yum!)  Tried to order with 1/2 way consideration of carbs. Listen to how temptation baits me slowly and then goes in for the kill Sunday.  I didn't even attempt to count carbs. It was a free for all - all day long.  I drank all the diet soda I wanted.  Ate two cupcakes with frosting, some cheese curls with reckless abandon, chinese leftovers, ice cream, and some frosting spoonfuls.  I went bonkers.  And didn't feel so good - physically, mentally, and just overall out of whack.  Slowly I am pulling myself back together.  I was getting to boastful and arrogant.  Blowing on my nails like I got this in the bag.  And slowly creeping back into the world of denial.  Thankfully my blood sugar meter doesn't hold any punches.  My numbers did raise quite a bit but not scary high.  Enough of a visual reminder - STOP in the name of love.  Yes some days it feels hard to live this new lifestyle and sometimes we need a treat.  I refuse A Treat (not ten - twenty, you get the picture).  But in the end.  These choices are for me and what I really want out of life to become truly HealthFULL (Fully understand Life by Living) so that I can enjoy every minute of this life with my beautiful son and amazing hubby.  I am beyond blessed - why would I want to rob myself of this pleasure?  For spoonfuls of frosting?  Never.  In the moment yes it is easy to let temptation sweep into our lives and cause horrible disruption.  But in the big picture if we can just keep a little bit of our clarity it is so easy to stomp out those nagging thoughts, whispering lures, and annoying taps.  Temptation will always be knocking down our doors but we always have the choice to slam the doors right back on them.  Join me in saying good riddance to your annoying pests.

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of knocks of opportunities and that temptation only makes you stronger to say no to those that don't matter and yes to what does. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Not always what you think

Wouldn't it be fun if life matched our thoughts/plans? Today we attended a Strawberry festival. It was to be both a family outing and a chance to get some movement. I imagined a beautiful day where we stroll, sample some tasty food, admire a couple of crafts, people watch other families do the same, and hear some good music. Oh doesn't that sound nice? Not at ALL what occurred. We arrived and saw the crazy madness, maybe it isn't as bad as it seems. But oh it was! We unloaded the stroller and began to play mad rush stroller derby with all 100,000 other people. We struggled and rammed our stroller down the crowded lanes and not even two minutes in our little one was turning into a strawberry himself. I believe his stroller design was creating a sauna effect. We spent about a half hour walking around but not at the smooth stolling pace I had hoped. More like a variation between a painstakingly crawl and ramming speed demon. Now festivals serve some of the unhealthiest food in the world because they will fry anything and at the strawberry festival. They fry anything and everything and add strawberry syrup. Delicious! In a sickening sweetly kind of way. Ahh they have maybe my favorite carnival treat, funnel cakes. Aren't those treats awesome? They hold so many memories of fun. These aren't an everyday treat, funnel cakes mean you are having the time of your life (carnivals, amusement parks, festivals). And we saw a location that was selling funnel cakes with 10 different toppings, oh my, delicious fried goodness with powder sugar and a topping selection. Oh too much temptation. I love variety and always feel empowered by a choice of limited edition selections. You never want to miss an opportunity to have the tastiest treat ever!!! But with this much build up could any treat ever meet this demand. No. And funnel cakes have a gazillion calories with no nutritional value. So my victory was bypassing these sweet treats (although a peanut butter choice and a chocolate strawberry choice did catch my eye of fancy). Also another food victory at the festival was we had picked up lunch three selections for thirty dollars. Are you serious? And no drinks! Outrageous! But festival prices never fit reality. We begin to eat I had chosen a turkey leg. This meal was like munching a brontosaurus bone. Ridiculously big, it also tasted a lot like ham which wasn't what I was going for. And after the ridiculous amount spent there is a click in the brain I must eat all of it as not to waste the money. But my new way of thinking is reteaching the brain, the money is gone. It is not coming back. If I am full after eating a third of what I ordered then I am still wasting the food by continuing to munch. The only difference is I have to carry the extra food at my waist instead of treating it like the waste it is and throwing it away. My stomach is starting to send the signals to my brain and I am actually starting to hear its message. STOP EATING! I wonder how long my stomach has been trying to share these messages. "I am full. We're good. Please stop!" But slowly I am beginning to hear the murmurs and feeling the difference. May your HealthFULL Journey be FULL of ideal moments and true connections. 'Til we meet again. . .

Junk food Junkie

My name is Suzy and I am a Junk-food Junkie. And I don't know why. I get these cravings and lose complete focus on everything else. I just am just fixated on getting potato chips and something sweet. (Little Debbies can you hear me calling?) And Ice Cream that is its own level of cravings. We were doing really well keeping out the junk food. Because I will totally confess, I cannot stop at one chip. I cannot stop at even one serving...or half a bag. So it really is just best to keep it away. Same with little Debbies, but that craving traces back to elementary school. You could buy a huge treat for a quarter from a gas station that was conveniently on the way home. And Ice cream, who doesn't love ice cream. I enjoy trying the kooky combinations. I sadly have to study the freezer when we go grocery shopping to make sure they haven't added new flavors. I know this is all a little too much information. But with this blog I am going for full disclosure and holding nothing back. How else can I expect to change my life (and improve it) than to air out the dirty laundry? But the truest form of junk food that frankly has defined my life.....Pop...or for those from other regions, soda. I can't imagine a time in my life that I didn't consume pop by the boat load. I have gone caffeine free, I have gone sugar free, and I have even gone caffeine sugar free. But I have not gone without. Recently I mentioned that water was becoming the drink of choice and LIMITING soda. However, a couple of rough days and late nights, Hello Diet Dr. Pepper. And yes I have heard the research, how diet soda is all chemicals, how it increases cravings, how it isn't even quenching true thirst, but it has been my friend and compadre many years. In our heyday I easily have drunk six to seven cans of soda whether it be sugar filled (roughly eight hundred calories) or diet kind (I do not want to know the chemical count). But for experimentation I had decided to give up soda for the Lenten season. It has been two and half weeks and I have to say there are days that I have the thought of a refreshing cola in the back of my head. A few days run down without my thirst being an issue and water has been the delicious filler. Eighteen days without a soda of any sort is definitely a record for me. At first my cravings for sugar were through the roof and now I am going through a salty (Sodium count can get high with soda)phase. I can't really explain it but I think I feel better without the soda. Once the cravings pass maybe I can be more descriptive and understand what truly feels different. This journey is definitely eye-opening and by Fully Understanding Life by Living I truly am appreciating new perspectives within new scenarios. I encourage you to switch things up. Because nothing changes your life more than allowing yourself the chance to view and experience things with a new perspective. Continue to enjoy your own HealthFULL Journey. 'Til we meet again. . .