Temptation knocks the door down!

We've all heard the expression that we need to be careful because opportunity only knocks once.  But let me tell you temptation knocks the door down with you behind it.  In other words, temptation does not disappear.  I fell hard this weekend.  First you need to know that I did whip up four dozen cupcakes - two different flavors with two different HOMEMADE frostings for my son's first birthday. My baby is one!!! And yes I still call him my baby - we discussed it and agreed that on the eve of his eighteenth birthday we will discuss if he can still be called my baby boy (and I am pretty sure I will veto his answer :)    We had yellow cake with cream cheese frosting which made our goalpost and then milk chocolate cupcakes with truffle frosting then made up our football (if you caught the colors were black and gold in our version - Geaux Saints and please don't mention the Rams we are still licking our wounds!) Oh this truffle frosting gave me a fight but I saw opportunity and I wasn't going to let my team down.  You are suppose to not stir the mixture (against my better judgement and instinct) after you add the chocolate chunks to whipping cream and let it cool overnight.  The next morning I had cream sitting on top of my seized chocolate.  I could have thrown in the towel but I gave it a go. I reheated my chocolate double boiler style which makes me nervous and melted my chocolate and stirred the mixture together.  Then I cooled the mixing bowl in the freezer.  I tried to whip together my frosting after forty minutes but it needed more time to cool.  I tried again after forty minutes and victory stomp because I had a frosting.  YAY!  I tell you this victory to share my fall.

Temptation is patient and knows you better than you do yourself.  It darts in and out of your daily activities and when you think you are on top of the world it is ready to hammer you down and call you like a long lost siren.  While you are running victory laps it begins to pat you on the back as it keeps pace with your wins.  And then the pats on the back become taps on the shoulder and then a beckoning finger and luring whispers.  Yes we celebrated Halloween - took our son to a mini version of trick or treat (we had to show off his adorableness in his Tigger costume), handed out candy and threw a party which we shopped for tasty ingredients and started to whip up some crowd favorites.  The trick or treat no problem.  When buying candy I chose a more expensive option to keep lower carb candy around in case I was tempted.  But I guffaw at you candy.  Not the least bit interested.  I then whip up four dozen cupcakes not so much as a lick on the finger (and there have been many batters that I have sampled over the years).  I left a couple of cupcakes frostingless as they were legal as a snack - without frosting.  The day of the party I barely nibbled and when dinner came around I cautiously loaded my plate - guessing my best numbers on the carbs being consumed.  Sunday through Thursday - High level of success.  Mmmm Friday hits - little bit of temptation as my delicious frosting calls from the fridge.  I should have thrown out the extra I know. Forget the cake I love frosting.  Give me a corner piece any day - higher frosting ratio.  I have not proudly bought frosting to just eat the frosting.  I know!  So I tell myself one spoonful for a sugar rush - You can stop trying to stifle your laughter because after one spoonful came the second spoonful and soon the third.  Finally the fourth I reminded myself this has a lot of carbs and it was the fifth that I slammed the lid down and shoved the frosting back in the fridge.  Whew not good - but not horrible.  But then I had a leftover plate of the party fare - got to get rid of the leftovers.  I did not count as well as I did Thursday.  Must get away from temptation - friday night babysat and brought cupcakes to give away - invited my mom over saturday and passed off more cupcakes to her house.  So Saturday night we don't want to cook and ordered in - Chinese.  I  enjoy Chinese food especially delivered.  This is my go to order when I get a night all to myself.  Order chinese - turn on a good movie and call it a day.  We avoided deep fried and overtly sweet sauces (which is really the point in my mind - grease plus sweet yum!)  Tried to order with 1/2 way consideration of carbs. Listen to how temptation baits me slowly and then goes in for the kill Sunday.  I didn't even attempt to count carbs. It was a free for all - all day long.  I drank all the diet soda I wanted.  Ate two cupcakes with frosting, some cheese curls with reckless abandon, chinese leftovers, ice cream, and some frosting spoonfuls.  I went bonkers.  And didn't feel so good - physically, mentally, and just overall out of whack.  Slowly I am pulling myself back together.  I was getting to boastful and arrogant.  Blowing on my nails like I got this in the bag.  And slowly creeping back into the world of denial.  Thankfully my blood sugar meter doesn't hold any punches.  My numbers did raise quite a bit but not scary high.  Enough of a visual reminder - STOP in the name of love.  Yes some days it feels hard to live this new lifestyle and sometimes we need a treat.  I refuse A Treat (not ten - twenty, you get the picture).  But in the end.  These choices are for me and what I really want out of life to become truly HealthFULL (Fully understand Life by Living) so that I can enjoy every minute of this life with my beautiful son and amazing hubby.  I am beyond blessed - why would I want to rob myself of this pleasure?  For spoonfuls of frosting?  Never.  In the moment yes it is easy to let temptation sweep into our lives and cause horrible disruption.  But in the big picture if we can just keep a little bit of our clarity it is so easy to stomp out those nagging thoughts, whispering lures, and annoying taps.  Temptation will always be knocking down our doors but we always have the choice to slam the doors right back on them.  Join me in saying good riddance to your annoying pests.

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of knocks of opportunities and that temptation only makes you stronger to say no to those that don't matter and yes to what does. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Ode to Sugar

Oh Sugar, how you've made me giggle!

But it is time to bid adieu; cause now, you make me wiggle and jiggle.

I fondly think back through our years.

We certainly had our share of cheers and tears.

Some people may turn to booze and drugs,

But I only answered to your craving tugs.

You cooed and you wooed and sounded so sweet;

That only you, Sugar, could be the perfect treat!

You disguised yourself in candy wrappers and frothy milkshakes.

You folded yourself into cookies and cakes.

You hid yourself in sauces and dips;

Anything handy to pass through my lips.

Oh Sugar, how you always knew

When I thought of leaving you.

You'd play cool as you lingered and stepped back.

And then , in the perfect moment, you'd smother me with a full craving attack.

Oh Sugar, you never kept score

For you always knew that I would need you more.

You were my comfort, my drug, and my joy.

How could I leave you, for the likes of soy?

But Sugar, I now choose health over You.

So Sugar, I now bid you adieu.

I bid adieu to swollen feet,

and my ever-growing caboose seat.

Without you dear Sugar, I wouldn't be me,

And hopefully, without you there will be a lot less of me to see.

For so very, very long, you were my high

But now, I happily say, "Buh-bye!"