Show your Warts!!!

Show your Warts!!!

How can you say to your brother,

"Let me take the speck out of your eye.'

when all the time there is a plank

in your own eye.

               Matthew 7:4

Dear World, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Toad.  Mr Toad meet the world.  This toad comes and goes as he pleases around our house.  He tends to live around the corner taunting and teasing my dog and then retreats quickly (or semi-quickly) to his home under the garbage can.  This may be Mr. Toad Jr.  as I remember him being bigger in the past.  He leaves me be except for the teases at my sweet puppy.  I try to return the peace to him though I do usually let out a scream when he makes his reappearance under our garbage can. 

But I do respect that he has never been afraid to show his warts. 

As humans we hear "warts" and get a bit squeamish.  We may also begin to recall of the directory of witches from our childhood fairy tales.  But really what are warts?  They're growths caused by infection.  However, we call them anything else to escape the rejection and outcast label that warts bring. We hide our warts through nicknames and harmless labels such as a bump, extra skin, a cut, a blemish, or we may use the ultimate magic tool - the band-aid.  Whats the worst offense we may commit if cornered? Throw someone else in as the target to zone in on by pointing out their wart in hopes to cover our own.

We have trouble claiming the truth and honestly using our words.  Perhaps you hear great news from a friend - promotion, wedding, baby on the way or even tamer news like a new car or a new haircut.  There is a part of you that wants to celebrate but somehow before the words leave your mouth a criticism or a backhanded compliment takes the lead.  Why do we do this?  I believe we say these hurtful words (even if they are not intentionally spoken but inadvertently shared) because we all are seeking acceptance and fear rejection.  We hear stellar news and instead of hearing and celebrating the fact with those we love.  We immediately think of ourselves; how does this news affect our likability?  If you are shining brighter; will that spotlight my flaws, warts and all even more?  So we take the defense to avoid the feared offense.  We make jokes that aren't funny.  For instance - you're having a baby?  That's great news as you're not getting any younger!  Or closer to the conversations I am having these days.  "You quit your job?  That's great - good for you.  I would like to, but I can't because I have bills to pay.  So what are you doing after summer?  Oh! *pause* *grimace* Well I'm sure something will turn up.  So, really you are quitting your job.  How long were you there again?  Six years! Wow - and you have only a summer job lined up.  *pat on shoulder with eye roll* Well something will happen for you.  Good luck *chuckle with glad I'm not in your shoes kind of tone*."

Yep I 've had that exchange more than once.  And I truly believe people are looking out for me and are nervous.  Why are they nervous?  When someone changes the status quo we check our own lives for the aftershock.  If we are worried that tremors may disturb our comfort levels we tweak theirs.  Have you had friend lose weight and without missing a beat offer them a highly caloric dessert treat.  "Really - you've lost fifty pounds! That's awesome - Can I interest you in a triple hot fudge brownie ice cream treat?"  

So by my quitting a good stable job (I cannot stress enough how good my company was to me through some stressful events in my life but that I've known for awhile isn't my passion in life) for a short term but high on my wish list kind of opportunity it disrupts other's point of view.  It reminds me people who are struggling in their job that it is always a choice where you work.  I'm not saying everyone should quit a job they don't like this instant.  But we need to check in and remind ourselves life is full of options. The only thing on everyone's to do list that is not optionable is death.  But everything before that is a choice.  Do the reasons for you to stay at your job outweigh your reasons to leave?  Then absolutely stay at your job and work towards how you can make the situation better.  My scales were tipping the other direction.  God gave me an answer to my prayers.  Which I'm incredibly grateful.  But this answer didn't appear overnight.  It has been a long process. 

We all have our own desires and what we consider prizes.  But in exchange for those gifts we have to put in our hopes, the effort, and the time.  This means there will be some successess and some failures.  But if we get too tangled up in other people's journeys while trying to cover our warts we will lose our own opportunities.  It is good to want to share knowledge, advice, and constructive criticism.  Beware though, because sometimes what it is meant as an encouraging word gets pushed to the back as envy, anger, fear bully their way to the front and escape your mouth without a moment's notice.  Let's share our journey, warts and all. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be aided by those who can help you remove the speck of sawdust from your eye without clocking you in the head with their plank.  "Til we meet again . . .

Water can Heal

Water can Heal

From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters.  The first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease he had.

John 5:4

It never amazes me how soothing and restorative water can be.  When I am sick there is nothing like a hot shower or a cool bath to restore my energy.  When we get stressed at work we tighten almost to the point we turn into rigid stone but a couple of hours swimming in the ocean relaxes us to the point that it all seems to be part of a too-real nightmare.  Sometimes just looking at an aquarium can de-escalate our blood pressure. 


Scrub a dub - dub!

As I face this week of transition; a secure familiar job of six years being traded for a nine week nanny job I am feeling a jumbled bundle of emotions.  I have some frayed nerves that tumble into endless anxiety.  I have excitement that rivals Christmas Eve awaiting Santa Claus as I plan some activities.  I have sadness as I will be turning in a daily exposure of trusted peers and friends for five enthusiastic children/youth who have boundless and unlimited supplies of energy and creative messes to be had.  I'm having trouble concentrating because of part of me is ready to move forward while another part clings to what I know.

So where do I go?  The bath.  The place where I can control temperature and change it instantaneously if needed or wanted.  A place where I can grab a book and stop the alarming pace of whirring ideas.  A spot where water can soothe the anxiety, heal the confusion, and restore my energy and balance my emotions. 

Surprise, Surprise!  It worked.  I remember when we were looking to buy our house I jumped into the tub (fully clothed) to get a feel - could this house be our family home?  Could this tub be my private oasis?  And needless to say - it was and it is.  I remember when my son's temperature was spiking to degrees that I didn't know were possible and not be fatal our first thought was to get him into a bath.  I remember as a kid thinking the tub was a magical place where I created a storyland that rivaled the cartoons "The Snorks" and "The Jetsons" (this may be why I believe my son is part Mer-man ;)  I remember that first shower after delivering my son and that it lasted roughly forty five minutes.  But that shower felt amazing!!!  And when I am beyond ill and I have no energy to climb out of bed to grab a glass of water regain my energy and feel almost completely healed after a shower or bath. 

This passage of scripture quoted above is when Jesus heals the invalid of thirty-eight years and tells him to pick up his mat and walk.  I heard this sermon a couple of weeks ago in church.  But I feel I lived the sermon today.  I was broken and confused and disheartened as I let doubts, worries, criticism circle my thoughts and bound my heart.  But a dip in the tub and peace is restored, refreshed with energy coursing through my body, and cleansed of the negativity. 

Amazing how we can feel downtrodden one minute and the next minute with a change of perspective, the miracle of water and its healing properties; feel restored and once again, at peace.

May your HealthFULL Journey include time to soak in healing waters so that you too can be restored, refreshed, and cleansed.  'Til we meet again. . .

Stopping the Chatter

Once upon a time ago I read an article whose topic has kind of stuck with me.  Many of us use the expression that every person is unique and yet the article's topic boggled my mind.   What is the topic you wonder? Think of your top pet peeves, now think of what sets you off when you hit that agitated point. The article discussed how our triggers are linked to our senses and we all have different limits. For instance  certain sounds have me crawling the walls.  I am sensitive to pitches and volumes depending on my mood.  And sometimes I can't have silence.  But it is definitely auditory issues that trigger my moods.    Some people have deep emotional memories that are triggered by smells, not all of these memories are good.  Perhaps your trigger has a visual connection; bright lights, loud patterns, or dark neutral colors.

This topic has been rambling through my head as my inner critic and my inner champion once again compete.  I am excited about this Real Food Challenge.  I am paging through recipes to get inspired.  I think this challenge will encourage a deeper richer experience on my HealthFULL Journey by providing me some structure with flexibility; a strong foundation without feeling trapped.  But then that inner critic starts dropping open ended questions, and then downright yelling my weaknesses so that I am tempted to throw in the towel without even beginning the challenge.  I won't be perfect but I'll be closer to my ideal habits.  I might feel overwhelmed but I will learn.  I might downright fail but if I don't even try than I already failed, so at least trying has to be an improvement.  So anxiously, excitedly, and determined I begin to make strides toward this new eating victory.

While my inner critic is running loose I decided I didn't want to give that voice fodder to continue to poke my buttons.  I decided to hula with the DVD but without instructions.  I have rented several of these exercise DVDs with the option but have been "nervous" to try with music only.  I am so scared to fail that it stops and stalls so many of my goals.  I am terrified to trust myself.  What if I mess up the moves? What if I drop my form? What if....What if ... What if...  And finally it hit me, What if!   Yes I might miss a step or two, I might jumble the moves, but two incorrect steps is better than sitting on my tushy.  Just another marker of my improvements when I do nail a routine.  It's not like I am training to teach hula, I am just having fun and shaking my hips.  My body is getting stronger but now I have to work through some of the mental hang-ups and emotional blocks.  Another hang-up that is stumping me.  I get nervous that I can't finish out the exercise so I sometimes stop because I feel like that I won't ever reach the end but instead of trying to finish the movement, I throw up my arms and go ah well I wasn't sure if I could finish.  So I am teaching myself to work through the mental stops.  And I was able to hold my arms up as long as the hula instructor in the cool down.  Last time I gave up because my arms were sore (they were strengthening) and I could imagine seeing it through.

It's like a wacky obstacle course now, I need to push forward but odd obstacles are going to pop up anytime and I just have to be ready.  Sometimes I will be successful, some will push me to my limits, but those that challenge me and I still push forward will be my greatest accomplishments. 

May your HealthFULL journey identify your successes and your struggles so that your struggles can become your successes. 'Til we meet again. . .