Show your Warts!!!

Show your Warts!!!

How can you say to your brother,

"Let me take the speck out of your eye.'

when all the time there is a plank

in your own eye.

               Matthew 7:4

Dear World, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Toad.  Mr Toad meet the world.  This toad comes and goes as he pleases around our house.  He tends to live around the corner taunting and teasing my dog and then retreats quickly (or semi-quickly) to his home under the garbage can.  This may be Mr. Toad Jr.  as I remember him being bigger in the past.  He leaves me be except for the teases at my sweet puppy.  I try to return the peace to him though I do usually let out a scream when he makes his reappearance under our garbage can. 

But I do respect that he has never been afraid to show his warts. 

As humans we hear "warts" and get a bit squeamish.  We may also begin to recall of the directory of witches from our childhood fairy tales.  But really what are warts?  They're growths caused by infection.  However, we call them anything else to escape the rejection and outcast label that warts bring. We hide our warts through nicknames and harmless labels such as a bump, extra skin, a cut, a blemish, or we may use the ultimate magic tool - the band-aid.  Whats the worst offense we may commit if cornered? Throw someone else in as the target to zone in on by pointing out their wart in hopes to cover our own.

We have trouble claiming the truth and honestly using our words.  Perhaps you hear great news from a friend - promotion, wedding, baby on the way or even tamer news like a new car or a new haircut.  There is a part of you that wants to celebrate but somehow before the words leave your mouth a criticism or a backhanded compliment takes the lead.  Why do we do this?  I believe we say these hurtful words (even if they are not intentionally spoken but inadvertently shared) because we all are seeking acceptance and fear rejection.  We hear stellar news and instead of hearing and celebrating the fact with those we love.  We immediately think of ourselves; how does this news affect our likability?  If you are shining brighter; will that spotlight my flaws, warts and all even more?  So we take the defense to avoid the feared offense.  We make jokes that aren't funny.  For instance - you're having a baby?  That's great news as you're not getting any younger!  Or closer to the conversations I am having these days.  "You quit your job?  That's great - good for you.  I would like to, but I can't because I have bills to pay.  So what are you doing after summer?  Oh! *pause* *grimace* Well I'm sure something will turn up.  So, really you are quitting your job.  How long were you there again?  Six years! Wow - and you have only a summer job lined up.  *pat on shoulder with eye roll* Well something will happen for you.  Good luck *chuckle with glad I'm not in your shoes kind of tone*."

Yep I 've had that exchange more than once.  And I truly believe people are looking out for me and are nervous.  Why are they nervous?  When someone changes the status quo we check our own lives for the aftershock.  If we are worried that tremors may disturb our comfort levels we tweak theirs.  Have you had friend lose weight and without missing a beat offer them a highly caloric dessert treat.  "Really - you've lost fifty pounds! That's awesome - Can I interest you in a triple hot fudge brownie ice cream treat?"  

So by my quitting a good stable job (I cannot stress enough how good my company was to me through some stressful events in my life but that I've known for awhile isn't my passion in life) for a short term but high on my wish list kind of opportunity it disrupts other's point of view.  It reminds me people who are struggling in their job that it is always a choice where you work.  I'm not saying everyone should quit a job they don't like this instant.  But we need to check in and remind ourselves life is full of options. The only thing on everyone's to do list that is not optionable is death.  But everything before that is a choice.  Do the reasons for you to stay at your job outweigh your reasons to leave?  Then absolutely stay at your job and work towards how you can make the situation better.  My scales were tipping the other direction.  God gave me an answer to my prayers.  Which I'm incredibly grateful.  But this answer didn't appear overnight.  It has been a long process. 

We all have our own desires and what we consider prizes.  But in exchange for those gifts we have to put in our hopes, the effort, and the time.  This means there will be some successess and some failures.  But if we get too tangled up in other people's journeys while trying to cover our warts we will lose our own opportunities.  It is good to want to share knowledge, advice, and constructive criticism.  Beware though, because sometimes what it is meant as an encouraging word gets pushed to the back as envy, anger, fear bully their way to the front and escape your mouth without a moment's notice.  Let's share our journey, warts and all. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be aided by those who can help you remove the speck of sawdust from your eye without clocking you in the head with their plank.  "Til we meet again . . .

Power down! Deal with it. . .

Oh if the world truly graded our efforts and not the end result both my hubby and I would have A's for the day.  But instead we grabbed our remote flipped on our newest episode of "The Chew" and stuffed our faces with Chinese food.  This wasn't the plan but then every attempt of a schedule or plan for today met with obstacle, snub, or just plain didn't happen.  We tried.  Both of us.  In our own way to make today a great day but pffffffffffffft was much of the reply.

I woke up to the sound of an unhappy baby at six a.m.  I went to check up sound asleep.  Back to bed for mommy.  Then seven-thirty one blare of a scream with no follow up.  I took it as an early alarm that would allow me a chance to get ready for the day.  These are rare moments that I can piece together two thoughts to kind of get a plan for the day.  So I was grateful and got ready. No more awake sound in the first thirty minutes.  Awesome I am on a roll.  This mama is going to get some breakfast together.  Another fifteen minutes pass and still silence.  Now frustrated because I probably could have gotten a work-out in.  And then - yup - there it is the scream of a disgruntled morning toddler.  Drop everything and immediately head to the crib.  It's like the gunshot at a race to start my crazy day.  On your marks get set - GO!  Already point down -wet bed.  Boo!  But no problem an extra load of laundry on the to - do list.  Will get in the wash later as we have a hungry boy on our hands -  grab today's outfit.  Then a quick breakfast and we begin the baby olympics to burn off energy.  Up the stairs like a rocket (he doesn't walk but give him a set of stairs and he can move!)

Oh no - stinky meter rising as we climb the steps.  Quick descent with the help of mom unto clean diaper.  Then to the fridge to play with our magnets.  Really? Stink meter is going off again - not a good sign - maybe false alarm  - oh no no no!  Definitely not a false alarm.  Unhappy baby changed again and then walking with assistance.  Going to impress our Early Interventionist who is due in three minutes...oh no sleepy baby has struck down my boy.  We are rubbing our eyes, yawning, and becoming a limp noodle unresponsive to even the tickle monster.  Our E.I. arrives and the little boy is exhausted.  Wake up baby boy you get to play with someone besides mommy with new toys - YAY!  Slowly he responds until he finds the bubbles.  He is quickly revived and enjoys "popping" bubbles in the living room.  Yay!  Next round of breakfast and sleepy boy hits.  Good timing.  I sneak him into his crib with a few protests and then golden silence. 

I slip into my work-out clothes, grab my water bottle and reaching my hand out for the stairwell.  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  Seriously?  I drop off the water bottle enter the doorway of our son's room and wha....*gag* never mind figured out what woke you up.  New diaper time.  Oh and look not ready for a nap now.  Let's go and play in the living room.  We need a quiet activity.  Sesame Street it is.  *world judge me if you must - I know children under two shouldn't watch tv and my response I don't do it everyday.  And when he does he rarely gets more than one Sesame Street episode a day.  I say rarely because today he did - and there are just worse crimes in the world than a two sesame street episode in a day*.  I got some paperwork done and some little cleaning jobs.  And the kid was exhausted.  We grabbed milk and listened to some music and tried a nap again.  Not very happy nor cooperative but we finally reached the silence stage of the house again.  I grabbed my bottle and headed upstairs.  Who knew how long this nap would take so I paid a couple of bills due on the computer and turned on my Wii Fitness. 

Error message - Wii Remote needs replacement batteries.  No problem I'll just grab a couple and pop them in.  In the zone let's get our sweat on.  Wait Error message.  Just replaced the batteries - oh no the Wii board needs battery replacements.  Grin and bear it.  I'll just go and grab some more batteries.  Okay they're replaced.  Let's weigh in - and the Wii cursor is stuck on the screen.  Why?  Oh you've got to be kidding.  The wireless remote sensor needs charging.  Hear this message world : I am working out today!  So throw me your obstacle course but I am even more determined - battery replacement, upset child, and uncharged sensor - pull it together.  Yay success - I've lost 5.3 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks.  *happy dance*  Caught last night's "Parenthood" while I stepped my way through thirty minutes.  Bye bye 200 calories - hello guilt free afternoon.  Wait is it still silent?  I am grabbing me some lunch.  Two meals in quiet - wowsers! Still quiet I am going to actually sit on the computer for fun.  Sitting down. . . .and yes there is the cry that my lunch hour bell has dinged - finished.  Back to baby duty.  Coming love. 

Lunch is ready to be served.  Oh we did not like the lunch menu that we have previously loved.  Carrots not on the baby's menu today - however you can find carrots on my floor, in his high chair and I am pretty sure on my piano.  Awesome!  Let's play some more.  Oooh checked the clock daddy will be home soon.  Should straighten the house a tish and get baby laundry in the washer. This requires a bit of movement on mommy's part in different rooms.  So let's place the baby in his crib to play with a couple of his favorite toys.  eight minutes tops!  Well look my mother in law is at the door as she is helping my hubby go pick up our car in the shop(stupid battery - wait is that this week's theme that no one told me about - power down - work around it).  I would help but out of two vehichles only one is baby friendly.  The other is a truck.... with an air bag. So no go - and no hubby at this point.  No problem.  Ahh the sound of hubby's arrival and the squeals of delight from our son.  (Everyone in the world lied to me.  When I was pregnant and shared I was having a boy.  Everyone smiled and said - oh the relationship between a mother and son is so precious.  No one mentioned that its precious but won't compare to a daddy's boy which we 100% have. Which I adore - but slightly get jealous of - especially the "rougher" days.  Mommy = tears - Daddy = giggles of delight.  Sorry for the tangent!)  So quick stop just enough to hear that hubby was late but most likely had to return to work because the store lost power as he was leaving - COME ON WORLD!!!   Our son was kind of sad to see his daddy go so soon.  So yup Sesame Street it is again.  I never do this.  But if the world is going to bring me down, turn off most of my power -then I will do what I can to finish the day with a smile on mine and my son's face.  And I wouldn't change our second episode.  I got toddler cuddles for almost an hour.  And that was a pick me up I definitely needed.  We played unto dinner.  Guess what peas were not on my son's wish list for the day either.  More of these in my son's chair than his belly.  I even gave it the yummy in my tummy with thumbs up and lots of smiles after obnoxiously cheerful big bites.  (p.s. I am not a fan of peas.  I will eat them mixed into other dishes and enjoy a good pea soup.  but eating straight up peas = unhappiness. Maybe it reminds me of a Canadian Anglican Priest shooting them at me across the dinner table but I'll stop with that tangent as well.)  He did agree to a few bites.  Some more floor play -  tickle session - he loves this falling down game on the bed - we played that.  Oh look bath time YAY! 

Bath time almost broke me.  I was setting up a couple of items and Drew was playing with the hair rinser.  (A pitcher that has a flexible top to bend around the head to keep from soap dripping in his eyes or water down his face.  )  I didn't realize he was actually pulling water out of the tub until the second attempt.  When water went sloshing all over the bath mat.  And as I reached for him he got in a third fill-up and shared that with the toilet seat cover and waterfall effect over the other side of the toilet.  Oh this awesome day gets better and better.  Now we have WATERWORLD.  And I haven't even attempted washing down the baby yet.  YAY!  So I grabbed the not wet but SOAKING (could he have really filled the pitcher all three times - as much water as I was cleaning - possibly!) bath mat and toilet seat cover and to the washer they go.  Throw down a couple of towels to mop up extra water.  Phone rings hubby can finally return home.  Power has been restored and product was back on the shelves.  I begged for chinese.  I was a weak woman who didn't have plans of cooking and I could tell my hubby didn't have plans for cooking either.  Chinese it is!  With a vigor to my step as my better half was soon on the way home with a piping hot supper. Onward to bath time.  We got through bathtime okay.  He was like a seal pup that kept sliding through my hands and his trick was to splash "the audience" meaning mommy and the rest of the bathroom with his own created typhoon while I wrangled him into sitting positions between scrubbing and rinsing.  I should have worn a swimsuit. 

But we made it to pjs and our nightly bottle.  Hallelujah!  So no not the day I planned.  Not an everyday kind of day in hopes to see results on the healthier side of things.  But a good day with a 100% survival rate.  I shared today because it was a real day trying my best.  I tend to blog when I am on the successful side of things.  I am usually on a high and want to share my good news.  Sometimes I am on a down day trying to pick myself up.  But there are those in between days - like today - where there are some great highlights (down five pounds and got a 30 minute work-out in even with some obstacles) - but some not great choices (like chinese food with sauces and fried foods).  These days are a part of the journey.  I constantly strive for improvement (well perfection if I am honest but I am working on IMPROVING my unrealistic expectations :)  but settle for doing the best I can , with what I have, where I am.  And today I was home stranded without a vehichle with a cranky energetic little boy missing my better-half  and a craving for Chinese food. 

May your HealthFULL Journey include the unscripted moments so that you can really see the new you emerging.  Because when the power goes down we all have to deal with it. "Til we meet again. . .