The Difference of a week

I am a week into my ten day challenge of real food.  Maybe I should say the household is seven days into this journey because I certainly am not the only one experiencing the changes.  I was calm this morning and afternoon. The first couple of days I was feeling deprived because I was avoiding chemicals and packages and packages of preservatives.  I was anxious of what would I eat, what could I eat?  I was tense and frenetic because my easy go to comforts were to be forgotten.  And this morning I wasn't consumed by thoughts of food.  There is none of my soda in the house nor has been for a week.  And here I still breathe and yes even function.  There has been moments I have driven to the store close to midnight to stock my fridge or in the middle of the storm to avoid living through the storm without my safety net of soda. 

That's an interesting thought - how many times do I charge into the storm to avoid simply letting the storm pass.  Storms make us nervous, they are unpredictable, can cause damage, and usually change our surroundings.  I do this a lot in my life - if an uncomfortable situation is on the horizon I feel I have to shape the storm;  Loved ones fighting - soothe ruffled feathers, events not happening (monotonous ruts) have to stir things up - sometimes take on the planning, Friends struggling -cheer them on or advise away from the pain.  Some of this sounds good but sometimes we need the storm and have to pray the destruction isn't horrible.  We need the rain to wash away the dust and our messes.  We might need the flash of lightning to see and sometimes we need to hear the thunder to help us find safety in new locations. 

So once again I ran into the storm with this ten day challenge of real food.  And at first I was scared, I was nervous if I could reach it to the end.  But by going through the process for seven days I have a base of knowledge  - what's okay to eat, I know my downfalls, and I feel accomplished.  I made an eggplant casserole with chicken and it gave me confidence.  Not only do we have quite a few more meals.  But I did it.  I cooked with real ingredients, came out with a real winner of a meal (eggplant even my husband enjoyed as I have learned a couple tricks how to prepare it.) And this morning I woke up not all of my thoughts consumed by food.  Actually very little thought about food.  My son went down for a nap and I didn't obsess what I could consume before he awoke.  This is an eerily peaceful feeling.  It's kind of nice and soothing.  It's like I woke up without a sliver in my foot.  That I have had this nagging feeling and was so used to that feeling I was almost numb.  But without this "sliver" I am oddly aware of what is missing.  Kind of strange, but soothing at the same time.

Today's exercise was another run with the Hula DVD.  I realize I really like switching up the DVDs weekly.  I renewed my choices last week as I didn't make it to the library last week and I am ready for something new that will motivate me to get moving. 

May your healthfull journey prepare you for the storms in your life. 'Til we meet again. . .

Stopping the Chatter

Once upon a time ago I read an article whose topic has kind of stuck with me.  Many of us use the expression that every person is unique and yet the article's topic boggled my mind.   What is the topic you wonder? Think of your top pet peeves, now think of what sets you off when you hit that agitated point. The article discussed how our triggers are linked to our senses and we all have different limits. For instance  certain sounds have me crawling the walls.  I am sensitive to pitches and volumes depending on my mood.  And sometimes I can't have silence.  But it is definitely auditory issues that trigger my moods.    Some people have deep emotional memories that are triggered by smells, not all of these memories are good.  Perhaps your trigger has a visual connection; bright lights, loud patterns, or dark neutral colors.

This topic has been rambling through my head as my inner critic and my inner champion once again compete.  I am excited about this Real Food Challenge.  I am paging through recipes to get inspired.  I think this challenge will encourage a deeper richer experience on my HealthFULL Journey by providing me some structure with flexibility; a strong foundation without feeling trapped.  But then that inner critic starts dropping open ended questions, and then downright yelling my weaknesses so that I am tempted to throw in the towel without even beginning the challenge.  I won't be perfect but I'll be closer to my ideal habits.  I might feel overwhelmed but I will learn.  I might downright fail but if I don't even try than I already failed, so at least trying has to be an improvement.  So anxiously, excitedly, and determined I begin to make strides toward this new eating victory.

While my inner critic is running loose I decided I didn't want to give that voice fodder to continue to poke my buttons.  I decided to hula with the DVD but without instructions.  I have rented several of these exercise DVDs with the option but have been "nervous" to try with music only.  I am so scared to fail that it stops and stalls so many of my goals.  I am terrified to trust myself.  What if I mess up the moves? What if I drop my form? What if....What if ... What if...  And finally it hit me, What if!   Yes I might miss a step or two, I might jumble the moves, but two incorrect steps is better than sitting on my tushy.  Just another marker of my improvements when I do nail a routine.  It's not like I am training to teach hula, I am just having fun and shaking my hips.  My body is getting stronger but now I have to work through some of the mental hang-ups and emotional blocks.  Another hang-up that is stumping me.  I get nervous that I can't finish out the exercise so I sometimes stop because I feel like that I won't ever reach the end but instead of trying to finish the movement, I throw up my arms and go ah well I wasn't sure if I could finish.  So I am teaching myself to work through the mental stops.  And I was able to hold my arms up as long as the hula instructor in the cool down.  Last time I gave up because my arms were sore (they were strengthening) and I could imagine seeing it through.

It's like a wacky obstacle course now, I need to push forward but odd obstacles are going to pop up anytime and I just have to be ready.  Sometimes I will be successful, some will push me to my limits, but those that challenge me and I still push forward will be my greatest accomplishments. 

May your HealthFULL journey identify your successes and your struggles so that your struggles can become your successes. 'Til we meet again. . .

Holla for Hula

Oh yes all, it is Thursday which tends to be the day I return to the library and pick out my exercise DVDs for the week.  I will be lifting with Miss Jillian Michaels and for super fun I dared to Hula.  After the Bellydance debacle, "Bring it on!"  And this journey is about learning so before I got distracted by the Hula title I sought out that important word "BEGINNER" , That's right, I am not going to get frustrated right off the bat and my reward I saw the whole DVD through.  I learned the basic seven hula steps and let me say I swung my hips with the grace of a hippopotamus, but not any hippopotamus the dancing hippo from Fantasia :)  It was beautiful as the instructor said I would be dancing like an Island Girl in no time.  I felt connected as I squated in tears and was ready to hit power off, she whispers, "Hang in there, You can do it!" Our connection was so strong, she might as well have said "Suck it up Suzy, we are gonna see this dance all the way through!"  That's what I heard.  And so for thirty-three minutes, I swung, stretched, sweated, shook and swayed my hips.  I definitely grasped a lot more of the moves than the Bellydancing moments.  Bollywood still has been my favorite find.  You may wonder why I am drawn to the dancing DVDs but if I was to admit my "quiet hidden secretive" childhood dream, I would have to confess I have always wanted to be a dancer. I used to pull out Grease, Electric Bugaloo 2, Parent Trap 3 (I believe it was a Janet Jackson dance number), Dirty Dancing (who didn't replay this a million times), Sleeping Beauty, and would mimic the dance (perfectly executed in my head, maybe 20% accurate in reality, especially since my dance partner tended to be a three foot futon cushion :)  So as I journey to a more HealthFULL life I am living my dream, in a distance land so far away known as my living room.  So bring on the Bellydancing, Bollywood, and let's Holla for Hula!

  May your journey lead you closer to your dreams and bring Health to a FULL circle in your life. 'Til we meet again. . .