The day the world changed (or at least mine did!)

It was a Wednesday, early November and I was done being in the hospital. I was done having an annoying IV in my arm. I was done being awaken every couple of hours. I was done writing down every sip of water I took and every visit to the little girl's room. I was done being cooped up in my little room. I was done preparing for a surgery that felt as it would never come. So I woke up November third around sixish am and awaited for the day to begin. I must confess I felt like a prisoner and wanted out. I woke up had my vitals checked (which had just happened two hours before) and had my finger pricked yet again to check my blood sugar. Praying that it would be normal range. I wasn't allowed to eat so if it was "too low" I would have to await an IV solution of sugar water because I had to be "stable" to travel down the hall to my morning ritual of an ultra sound. And if it was too high I got to be poked again with a needle ( I hate shots and was SO tired of feeling like a pin cushion) for insulin. But it was within the okay range. YAY. I then slid into my tweety bird slippers to take the three steps to where I would be weighed. So much fun! And then back to bed after a quick run to the little girl's room. Once back in bed I was in the time window to order my breakfast that could come within ten minutes up to two hours. I had to order then as I did not know when transport would come to pick me up nor when I would return and there was only a limited amount of time when orders were accepted. And then I just wait...and wait...Yay the wheelchair has arrived. Let's hit the halls. And away we go. As I did not have a true appointment I would be wheeled into the back entrance and left to sit and wait until the technician was available. There is this paranoid feeling that no one would see me and I would be forgotten. (Twice I waited for over ten minutes in the back lobby by myself. So I feel this was a justified feeling.) Now my description of this morning sounds bitter, because I was. I was hungry, exhausted, worried, frustrated, and felt trapped. My world was upside down in chaos and I did not have permission to correct it. Nothing felt as if it was in my control. My hubby and I had thought through his schedule and he had taken off three days in a row based on our conversations with our doctors upon our son's arrival. This was my first morning by myself after that nice stretch of having someone else "experience" this journey and it is a lot easier to handle as a team. Then being the character who must travel alone. I was wheeled back for my daily ultrasound and while gritting tears in my frustrated state I climbed upon the table to begin our morning ritual. They pour gel, cover me with a sheet, make small chat, push around wand on my tummy, and they say everything looks good or at least about the same as yesterday, Couple of pictures, will call transport, and the doctor will be in shortly to see you. Yadda yadda yadda. About a twelve minute drill. Ten minutes in we aren't really making small talk as that has faded. Actually the technician is squinting at her screen. She then asks me to flip all around the table (side, back, jiggle, other side, back) and she begins to wrinkle her brow and purse her lips muttering that my son still had a little more to show to "pass his daily test". Every other morning he had shown what they needed within five minutes. My frustration washed away as that cold drop of fear begins to travel through the veins. That my threatening tears spilled over and down my face. As I offered prayers of surrender and apology for working myself into an agitated state and begged to God Please just keep my son healthy. After thirty minutes of trying to catch my son's movements and breathing. I was whisked to a new room for what the called a non-stress test. The wrap a belly band around my stomach to measure my son's heartbeats and output of rhythms . The technician said the beeps were good. I didn't hear any. All sounds had drained away accept my own heartbeat in my ears and the wailing scream this isn't happening and the rushing whoosh of reassurance this is just precautions everything will be okay. For ten minutes those two thoughts swirled around my mind and followed up with I want my hubby. They then took my blood pressure and it was rising quickly and steadily from my morning checks. The technicians then moved me into another room. I still did not know what was going on. The doctor then came to see me. I liked this doctor he stopped the middle of the night blood sugar check/crashes. He reported that my 24 hour urine test from the day before showed a 250% increase of protein which wasn't good as I started at an already high level. My blood pressure numbers were continuing to rise. And my son was starting to show slight distress. He then said my surgery would be scheduled for early afternoon as soon as the doctor gets out of the delivery she is already handling. I stopped him and asked him to clarify, was I having my baby today? He nodded and responded that it was time. My womb was no longer considered the best place for my son to grow, flourish, and thrive. I was only twenty-nine weeks and my son's odds were viewed better in the world than what I could provide. The doctor stepped out and I called my husband. I went to the numb place and tried to not panic. My husband was caught off guard every day we had been prepped and prepared for this news. But you can only hear the same thing over and over so many times until you become a little indifferent. We knew the risks but felt it was only a mantra at this point as we had repeated this journey seven times over. But no fire drill, today was the real deal, the full boogie woogie. I was wheeled to my room and put immediately to bed as I waved good-bye to the breakfast I would never get to taste. I was strapped to the monitor to hear my son's strong healthy heartbeat. Probably to world's most reassuring sound especially that morning. I then was wisked to prepare for surgery. Surgery? Still seemed so foreign as the roughest procedures I had endured included shots and throat cultures. I was wrapped in bracelets, hooked up to medicines, and watched my family parade in and out the door. I wasn't scared. Iwasn't even nervous. Peaceful and numb (possibly the drugs, most likely the prayers). They wheeled me away after a final word and wave and wishes of good luck. Once again I was on my own. My husband had to wait until I was "ready". He stood in his house painter overall scrubs and prepared for the unknown. The team inflated my raft so I could move from one gurney to the operating table (brilliant invention and though it might be used for everyone it helps this heavy person feel supported and not abandoned) and helps ease everyone in this adrenaline high moment. The epidural was applied and we played announce where you feel the prickly. And then all of a sudden the room spun, I announced that it was spinning and all of sudden fell back. My blood pressure had been so high that it began to crash (the doctors had prepared me for this possibility). But do you know how weird it is to feel like you're falling when you are already lying down. Oxygen was whisked to my face and I had to struggle to keep conversation with the nurse. The team got me stable and then they sent for my hubby. I agreed that's a good idea as we need to get this puppy started. The team laughed and informed me that they had already started. Seriously? I could feel tugs at my stomach but felt it was like bandages or blankets being swirled around above me. My husband comes into the room panting as he was told to hurry and had ran the whole way. He might have been in the room for two minutes when we both heard it. The cry of a baby. Not any baby. Our son, it was official , we were parents. And though the cries sounded so far away it was the most beautiful clear sound in all the world. Our son already had doctors and nurses attending to him knowing he was born extremely premature. He came out hand first (yes you read that correctly) weighing 3 lbs. 11 oz. and 17 inches long . Gorgeous, head full of hair, and healthy. Praise God! I caught a glimpse as they wheeled him away to be attended to and they continued to put this Humpty Dumpty back together again. I had a horrible cough but was terrified of the repercussions. I announced my need to cough and sure enough a drill sergeant of a nurse told me to swallow it. Yes ma'am. No problem. The doctor finally gave me permission. My son was admitted to the NICU and was released after forty-four days. We both came out healthier than expected. I healed fairly well and quickly. My son conquered milestones left and right. I came face to face with a nightmare but was surprised by the results. Getting healthy means even more to me now. I was blessed with such gifts, a healthy son and the chance to see him grow but that means I need to once again embrace the HealthFULL Journey. So once again I seek out the trail that will help me to embrace my life FULLy and share it with those I am blessed to have in my life. It is time to re-evaluate goals, actions, the stepping stones, and how combined they all equal results. I invite you to Fully Understand Life by Living. I have only started this journey but let me tell you it will rock your world and everything you knew. But the view is amazing. Please join me in your own HealthFULL Journey. 'Til we meet again . . .

The Elephant Stomp to Wheelie Jaunts

Oh what a whirlwind has surrounded me as of late. The day after I wrote my last post in October my life went into turbo drive. The morning after my post my feet swelled to uncomfortable proportions. I entitled this the elephant stomp because that is what I felt like walking. Barely could I lift my feet off the ground and no longer did I have ankles. My feet were connected to my calves. No indent for an ankle. Now when you're pregnant a little swelling especially in the final trimester is pretty common. Feet that swell five times their normal size with no reduction at night (after sleeping with feet up) not a common occurrence. I ran late to work as I wobbled on my bubble feet, as each stomping step caused discomfort, and I could not find any shoes that would fit my feet. I ended up using flip flops in late October as they were the only things that I could slip on (and even they left an indentation on my feet). I arrived at work in pain as my feet continued to swell (yes they got even bigger) and I believe I was out of skin. I called my doctor to just ask if there was an opening for an appointment. No they were booked, no big deal, I am probably just being an over paranoid first time pregnant lady. And as I hobbled back to my cubicle I decided that even if I was being paranoid I should chat with a nurse. So I called back the doctor's office (I NEVER DO THIS!)No opening = no appointment and definitely no pestering. I chatted with the nurse and we agreed maybe I should stop by as soon as possible. I arrived at the doctor's and stepped on the scale. I had gained eleven pounds in two weeks, not a good sign. (and trust me that was not after enjoying three pizzas a day). Next strike my blood pressure was in the mid nineties as my BOTTOM number...oh that's not good. And my swelling could be pressed leaving an indent still after trying to put up my feet for four hours.....And we're out. I was put on bed rest immediately and for the remainder of my pregnancy (I was only twenty seven weeks along!!!) with the promise to be back in to check my progress in less than four days. I hobbled/stomped my wait out of the doctor's office to begin my mending as quickly as possible (after sharing the news with my family and work). I arrived for my quickie appointment to check my vitals and my doctor sat down. I gulped. This was too be just a nurse appointment to jot down my stats. So seeing a doctor at all was not a good sign. My doctor informed me that I was about to like her even less. (I had gained five pounds in four days...and blood pressure slight rise which means bed rest wasn't helping). I was to be admitted into the hospital overnight starting immediately. What?!?!?!? I have never even had stitches let alone a night over in the hospital. Oh this was not good at all!!!! How does one pack for an undetermined stay in the hospital? My doctor gave me false cheer that it might be for just a couple days. I think she understood my fear and figured this was the easiest way to lure me at least to the hospital. My other doctors' opinions did not agree that it was a short two maybe three night stay. I was admitted to the high risk floor (which should have been a clue that I would be in the hospital for awhile). I learned a few things quickly about myself. I do not like be to be limited (to bed, restricted diet, and that I am not nearly as much of a hermit as I once believed.) Also I am a horrible stick for IVs. Didn't know, because I had never had one. Only once out of six "attempts" was I able to get a sturdy IV on the first try. As I was on strict bed rest I was not able to leave my room without doctor orders and then transport was arranged when needed. This is when I got to travel by wheel chair for my daily ultra sounds to check on our baby boy and make sure he was thriving. After being admitted to the hospital it was confirmed that I had severe pre-eclampsia which is why I and my son required the daily check. My medical team was trying everything possible to keep my son in the womb for as long as possible as long as we were both healthy. Upon my first ultra sound it looked like we would deliver within as little as three days, hoping to get use of the steroids. My husband and I were on board for whatever we could do to delay our son's arrival. We have witnessed and been close to several families who were blessed with early miracles and realized and appreciated the significance of every day that we could delay his arrival. But if I am being honest I was getting antsy for his arrival as I was going stir crazy in my little hospital room. My days in the hospital started with a weighing, makes you just want to jump out of bed, right? (Although I did lose most of my pregnancy weight as I lost twenty-three pounds in nine days with very little movement, as you can tell I was carrying a LOT of water weight!) I then would order my breakfast but couldn't eat until I after my ultra-sound in case this would be the day I would have to deliver. I would wait for transport and then travel down the halls on my wheelie jaunts (the only time I left my hospital room except for one pre-approved wheelchair walk with my hubby on my eighth day in the hospital - I felt like the little piggy who squealed Wee Wee all the way home!) would have the ultra-sound check and then would go back to my room and finally get to eat breakfast. Then hang out in my room the rest of the day and have my stats checked every four hours (with quite a few visitors = thank you to all those who helped quicken the minutes). Then at midnight I would be cut off from all liquids and foods as I might be going into surgery the next morning I did this for nine days. By the ninth day I was ready to stage a coup. I was going home and was ready to fight the doctors as I felt my sanity was on the brink of major decline. However the doctors had other plans as I was informed that this would be the day the world would be meeting my son. I'll catch you up on his arrival and the journey aftermath that includes a happy ending. I am finally starting to feel as if I am just beginning to Fully Understand Life by Living. May 2011 challenge you and bless you. 'Til we meet again. . .

Starting the doctor whirlwind

Well it is late or really early depending on your perspective. My last blog update was to be a teaser as I have entered an exciting time in my life. I mentioned the doctor visit as I was beginning to take my health even more serious. It has been a roller coaster and a half. So though I was motivated to visit the doctor to include professionals there was a big reason on the timing that I scheduled a doctor visit late May 2010. I saw two blue lines.... Yup! I'm pregnant! And the world began to whirlwind. It has been so exciting and tiring and anxiety ridden and amazing. I have been to more doctor appointments in the last five months then in at least the last five years, possibly my lifetime. Sad I know but so true! I have to tell you I never thought I would get pregnant at this weight. Obviously my body was at its healthiest it has been in a long time. But I never could quite combine the healthy eating and the exercise together to get pound results. So I have embarked on this new kind of journey with extra baggage and as many of us know when we travel we always ask ourselves, why did I pack so much!!!! :) I have gained 14 pounds in twenty-seven weeks ( Though in the heart of honesty actually my last visit was at twenty-five weeks. So I gained 14 pounds in twenty-five weeks. But doing pretty good on not losing complete control. Though there are food tornado days in our household. Which also if you have been following my journey I saw a number I was not prepared to see ever again. The dreaded 300 but it will not be a part of my life for long. I do not have the doctor's permission to work on losing at this point for obvious reasons. Who ever thought I would have doctors telling me not to lose weight? That is definitely a new experience in my life :) Short-lived but different. So a big discovery in this journey has been a battle with diabetes. And it is complicated because that is how life works with me and the medical field. Because of my weight and some background history (family, medical, etc. I was a lucky contestant to take the glucose test early to determine gestational diabetes). I bombed. Not sort of failed with questionable numbers but doctors shocked that I was unaware of my condition. Now, here's where it gets complicated. I was unaware but it was too early to most likely be caused by the pregnancy. So a huge round of tests was ordered to determine how severe the diabetes was. . . Here's where things get interesting my tests included the blood labs (A1C, etc.), eye doctor visit, EKG (I know that is not the true spelling, but you get my point), 24 hour urine test, and possibly others. Ta-da, not really diabetic. At least not according to any of those tests or doctors. Most likely what happened is before the doctor appointment I was nervous and had a snack. I remember having a snack, I can't remember what I chose to eat. Possibly fruit, bagel, chips, granola bar, but something quick and could easily grab and stuff my face. Because I was unaware that I would be taking this glucose tolerance test and this was late in the day so I had eaten breakfast and lunch and snacks (which definitely included granola bars and crackers, both high in carbs.) With that combo effect I believe is why the test was skewed. So I have had the pleasure of stabbing myself in the finger four times a day. My day time numbers are great if not fantastic but my fastings overnight not so good. Again medical marvel me frustrates teams of doctors. What I can control my numbers look great my overnight not so much. As I have been in great care, my hubby and I look at this as a blessing in disguise. It has helped me keep my eating somewhat in check because I would have easily pampered myself with daily bowls of ice cream and heaping pastas (not that I don't indulge to keep things honest but it could have been craziness!) And though I believe the doctors have panicked from the get go. As we quickly added, discarded, and continued to add medication to "monitor" these crazy sugar numbers. As I sometimes complain to my dear spouse. If I was just me, just a patient, I would have been given several months to change my eating and exercise and would have seen good results. However, it isn't just me and they wanted to nip things in a bud and from that first appointment within two weeks was on insulin (before test results started flying back in). So I get to take my blood and inject myself and take pills ( I dread medicine but for the baby I'm trying). I believe after all of these months of trying I think we have finally cracked the code to even out my numbers. So this is a start in catching you up on the latest in my journey. Once again this HealthFULL Journey is FULL of surprises. This is the definitely the best, biggest, and most intense surprise, but exciting to see once you open up your world to possibilities what wonders await around the corner. I look forward to sharing more with you all, soon. May your HealthFULL journey help you Fully Understand Life by Living and delight you with wonders you could have never dreamed. "Til we meet again. . .

It has been awhile. . .

I know it has been awhile and it seems that I have deserted the journey but I actually am even more committed than ever. I tried doing a lot of this on my own (well with family and friends support) but without visiting the doctors. I am not a huge fan. I am not saying all doctors aren't professional or wise but let's just say I have had my share of quacks. Just to highlight some extreme (but now kind of funny) incidents to prove why I might have some misgivings. There was a time I visited a doctor and he came into the room sat down in a chair. Took off his shoes and started rubbing his own feet. You know what I am a working gal I get that your feet get tired. But then he started rattling off how rough a day he was having. As the patient don't I get to list my ailments first? I am just saying. . . There also have been numerous times I have been left in compromising positions as the doctor leaves to go grab one last thing. Hello! We are currently busy sir/ma'am , can your errand wait? I also visited a doctor for repeated headaches and he stuck a needle in my knee repeatedly. Now I am assuming this was an acupressure technique, but at no point did he warn me that he was going to stab me in the knee with a needle. And when I say needle I mean like a straight pin you use to hem your pants ( I say you because I am not gifted in the domestic skills like sewing :) I have had several cat scans for repeated headaches I used to experience all the time. There was one time the "nurse" (I am sorry I am unaware of what their official title was at that time) but she was injecting the iodine into my arm. Now I am blindly trusting this lady and not watching the injection. I am not the biggest fan of needles (I'll be honest I am kind of like a three year old freaking out). So I just look away, its best for everyone. But I take a quick gander when the lady explains "Oh, that's not good at all!" Kind of in a panic voice. Do you know why she is saying this? Because of injecting the iodine into my arm. She somehow has the needle stuck in my arm but there is iodine spilling all over over my arm. How can this happen you ask? Well she giggles (because this is so funny! As I am freaking out over the needle and about to have a cat scan) I forgot to correctly tighten the needle or cap it correctly. Hardy Har Har! What else, there was the chiropractor/massage therapist who said I was not properly aligned. Which is a usual statement from a chiropractor. But they didn't mean my spine. She explained that my upper half of my body was not residing within my body and it was like my upper half of my body was sitting about two feet away. Okay, enough said about that appointment. . . There was the time I visited an ER in Alaska because I had not been feeling well. I kept waking up with horrible ear pain that covered all of the inside of the ear and around the ear. As I explained to the doctor it is ALMOST like it switches ears as if it was traveling down a tube from one to the other. I was explaining what it felt like. Not what was happening. The doctor did the quick checks (nose, mouth, ears). Told me my symptom was impossible (which I had been having for over a month, almost daily). And after our oh so friendly three minute visit( not exaggerating!) I was charged ninety dollars before leaving the hospital. Well that was fun. . . Side note I visited another doctor in Alaska a little less than two months later and they thought I had the flu. I got back to ND. Turned out I probably had mono both those visits and it was never caught. (The second doctor one of my symptoms was that I was sleeping up to sixteen hours a day and still exhausted. . . hmmmm) But probably my favorite was the emergency room visit in Rochester. Now I appreciate a thorough history and that they want to keep me safe. But they asked three times, three times if the man who brought me in was abusing me. The man was my father. I was 24 years old at the time, married, and not living at home. We were in Rochester to support my mother who was having surgery at the time. Now I would also like to point out my symptoms were nothing related to bruising, bleeding, or injury of any kind, but that I was having a ridiculous fever where my eyelids were on fire. So let's deal with the fever and then worry if I am being abused (Not that I think domestic abuse is humorous in any sense and that for those they can help in the ER God bless them - but let's look at the facts people). After round three of my history we get to the good stuff, why I am here in the ER. I explain that I feel really hot, like eyes burning hot. Again the nurse chuckles because I am obviously Hi-lar-ious when I don't feel good. She takes my temp with her little smirk of expression "Well let's see how high your temperature is, shall we? " (I also must seem to have a quirk that makes doctors/nurses think I am lying about my symptoms). Well my temperature wiped that smirk off her face. She quickly fumbles with her paperwork and says I will see a doctor shortly. The temp was in Celsius degrees so I don't know exactly how high my temp was but I saw a shorthand sheet posted that translated Celsius - Fahrenheit degrees and my temperature wasn't even listed! The list went as high as 103.2 degrees Fahrenheit. So when I say my eyelids were on fire. I am not kidding! But then the fun really started. Because this was at my heaviest. Now I realize weight can affect a lot of things with illness, injuries, and diseases. But for all overweight people, our size doesn't have to do with EVERYTHING! Sometimes I feel that the weight is just an easy go-to for doctors and they overlook certain things. So the hospital staff gives me tylenol to drop the fever which it did and I finally broke the high temp. By the time the doctor comes in my clothes are soaked. Like wring me out soaked. The doctor does the check-up, discovers my viral infection in the lungs. We are doing great and then he was explaining how long to expect it to last and when it will clear up. Here is our conversation: Me (Suzy) : How long do I have to take the medicine? Dr. : As long as the infection lasts. Me: How long does that usually take? Dr. : Well, you're a ( and here it is the physical gesture that seals the deal - think of when people describe football players - hunch both shoulders raising them to their ears, lifting and dropping their shoulders three times, raise the fists as if fist bumping themselves, and pucker their lips with furrow brows) Big Girl! End of conversation! Ummm, Big Girl? That's not a timeline. Thank you, but that answered my question not at all. But it is always fun to feel awful and then have the doctor insult me verbally and physically with gestures. And also part of my earlier rant. My weight doesn't seem to have any determination on how medication or alcohol affect me as I am kind of lightweight with both. Because of my size people assume that I have a high tolerance. I do not for the record. Well I have ranted long enough... Now you see from my perspective why I might have delayed getting the doctors involved. In one of my next posts I will share where and who this journey has been leading me to see. I hope that in all of life's situations you see the humor. Maybe not in the moment (Although that is always more fun) but at least when you look back, even those stressful moments may they bring a chuckle, a chortle, or a smirk. 'Til we meet again. . .

Relay for Life

Wow time flies when you're ....keeping busy :) And TRYING to have fun!!! Spring semester wrapped and then here comes summer semester nipping at the heels. Although Life seems to being moving a little faster I don't want to overlook such a special event. Our church came together to form a Relay for life team. If you don't know about Relay for Life you have got to do your research. It is an incredible fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. When our team captain was enlisting volunteers. He asked a simple request. Please stand up if you or someone close to you has been diagnosed with Cancer. I would say 90 % of the congregation stood. This statistic probably doesn't shock many people. But still the visual and the sounds of the scuffling feet was pretty intense. My hubby and I have each had a parent diagnosed. Hearing that C-word is life changing. We are beyond fortunate and still celebrating holidays and daily blessings with our loved ones. Sadly we have witnessed to many of our friends have to say good-bye too early to their family members. This year we have had so many people close to us or their family members be diagnosed. It is such a tough call on how to react and offer support. We want to be there for them, but respect everyone has their own journey in reacting and accepting this new reality. With all of these experiences we both wanted to support this wonderful event. We signed up and began to raise funds. Our intention was to take Saturday completely off and attend the whole event which was May 14, 2010 starting at 7 pm until 7 am Saturday May 15, 2010. You know what they say about intentions :) We tried, we planned, and God laughed. We both ended up working both Friday and Saturday. To be of use at our jobs we decided that attending the whole event wasn't practical. We were trying to decide what would be most beneficial and where we get some rest. Well Thursday evening we received an email with a schedule of when people were planning to walk. With the Relay for Life they ask that you have someone from your team on the track the whole event. Therefore creating a relay team. And my understanding why American Cancer Society schedules these events overnight and up to twenty-four hours is as a reminder that cancer never sleeps. After we received our schedule we realized almost all the time-slots were filled with at least one name. But wait with close examination there was two hour window where no one was signed up to walk. 1 - 3 am! How did people let that time prize slip under their noses. So my fantastic hubby and I claimed the time quickly before others got wind that there was a need ;) I have to confess filling that time slot helped ease the guilt we would only be present for a small part of the relay. I mean come on, talk about dedication :) So after a quick nap on my part (10 - 11:30 pm and sadly this was not my first nap at this time this previous week. Long story but I had a 9 page paper due at 1:00 am and hadn't started by 7pm. But a quick snooze and the paper got handed in :) Ahh to be a college student once again pulling all nighters (with evening cat naps because as my brother has pointed out on more than one occasion that I am an OTAS - older than average student. Aren't siblings fantastic? At least when it comes to keeping us humble :) So.....after a quick nap we were ready to go at 12:15 am to drive to the local high school track. It was crazy to see the track and field full of bright lights. There were even some fundraisers still working at 1 in the morning. People giving hair cuts and waxing, right there on the field. But both my hubby and I pointed out, Would you go to someone that you didn't know and PAY for a haircut at 1 am? It would make me nervous, though that booth did fantastic throughout our time there. Also there was someone giving massages for bonus funds intended for the ACS. That massage sure looked tempting after our numerous laps around the track. It was a very cool experience to see the tents, the three am turn-out, and the joy and enthusiasm that everyone seemed to embody. There were many luminaries lighting the track, many covered with drawings, photographs, and inspirational words all in memory or in honor of these everyday heroes. I am so excited we were able to participate in this inspiring event. We laughed, we cried (or okay maybe it was just me who got teary-eyed reading some of the luminaries), and we walked. and walked and walked :) This was an incredible part of my HealthFULL Journey. Again the day didn't go according to plan, but was so much better. If you would like to contribute, please visit: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/SuzySullivan May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to unexpected blessings, for yourself and others. May everyday seem precious. And never overlook a moment to tell those who matter to you how much you care. 'Til we meet again. . .

Filling the Health Meter FULL

When embarking on this HealthFULL Journey I really was thinking from the physical aspect. My thoughts were along the lines of the hope to discover a hidden passion for excercise and the desire to nourish my body instead of just stuffing it. And though mild versions of this have occurred, I am downright shocked how much health in the other aspects are being improved. What I mean is the exciting things that have occurred in my life so far on this very interesting journey with a lot of twists that I didn't expect. When I named this blog I started with the Healthful journey and the name was taken. So I played on the words because I really liked the thought of improving my health and not just focusing on the weight and getting skinny. That's when it came to me that I wanted my life to be FULL of Health. And I do appreciate the ease of acronyms and the cutesie-cheesy factor as well. I am a cheesy kind of gal :) So that is how Fully Understanding Life by Living was established. Do you remember the expression, "Be careful what you wish for. . .because you might just get it!" Well I have had my wishes granted in spades. My Mental Health has improved as I have started to study for school. When on my own I guarantee I was not picking up textbooks to improve my knowledge of statistics and to be able to define the null hypothesis vs. alternative hypothesis....yada yada yada. I do well with a litte push. It is interesting that sometimes after studying for awhile, to then take a break and just walk away. After a quick breather, return and pick up the book once again and realized I have actually learned something. I know it's silly but sometimes it makes me smile as I get giddy reading the text and realize I understand what I am actually reading. My financial health is improving as I returned to a second job that I missed terribly (this also probably helped mental and emotional health as well - I get to be creative and interact more). My emotional health has greatly been on the rise. As I seek out Healthier opportunities and just being more open to life I have enjoyed a variety of activities that pull me away from my natural hermit ways. I am becoming involved with several charity events (looking for more ;) and that kind of participation boosts the heart. Meeting new people is always good and interesting. And the whole reason I thought of this topic is that my spiritual health is improving. My hubby and I have been on exciting search for a long time. When I performed with a traveling theatre ministry group I always appreciated the opportunity to perform at so many churches and to worship in different settings with people from a variety of denominations. I would define myself as a Christian and wanted this chance to share this freedom with my hubby as we explored the different churches of our area. We found this process both exciting and a little bit wearing. Because at some point you just want to say, Ahhh it's good to be home. I am so excited to share with y' all that we have found our church home and became official members almost two weeks ago. I feel we joined at the perfect time because our sermon series right now is about the fruits of the spirit. I am definitely looking to improve my fruit intake and knowledge and here it is nicely packaged in a sermon :) Last week's was about Joy and the pastor made an interesting comparison about the difference between happy and joy. Happy is about circumstances and depending on what event or interaction occurs in your daily life will affect your happiness. But Joy is what resounds within your being. Before this HealthFULL Journey I liked to think of myself as a happy person but now I can tell you I am becoming a joyful person. May your HealthFULL Journey bless you in all aspects of your own life in a complete 360 degree kind of way. 'Til we meet again. . .

Marching for babies 2010

Well this week has been full of interesting events. I will try to describe them one at a time. Let's start with the March for Babies earning funds for the March of Dimes. My niece was born very pre-term at 24 weeks. She is a fighter and as a family we have been blessed by how well her development and health have progressed. Because of the miracles our family has witnessed I wanted to combine my HealthFULL journey with a couple of causes close to my heart. My next event is less than three weeks away The Relay for Life earning funds for American Cancer society and if you are interested in donating you can visit http://main.acsevents.org/goto/SuzySullivan . So back to the March for Babies. I enlisted some family volunteers to be my walking buddies and fundraising partner. I am so excited to share that my eldest niece and I reached our goal of five hundred dollars for the team. Thanks to my partner's determination, generosity of our sponsors, and tons of prayer. It felt so good to start our walk with a little extra bounce in our step. I didn't hit my goal last year when I walked for my office's team and it saddened me. But then that probably helped make this year's success a little sweeter. I feel like we actually fulfilled a promise. That was an incredible feeling to know we honored our commitment all the while helping an organization work to lessen other families' anxieties and despair. The day of the walk was not weather that gets your blood pumping for a day in the great outdoors. I went to pick up my team shirt beautifully designed by my fabulous niece and her super creative mom. I brought my eldest niece to the event and then my brother's family was to follow. The event upon arrival was drizzly, sparse, and crowded with umbrellas. But if you looked closer at the walkers who decided to tough the event out regardless of rain were smiling, giggling, and enthusiastic. My niece leaned in to me and whispered "Wouldn't it be cool if the minute the walk began the sun would pop out, begin to shine, and the rain would instantly stop!" I agreed that would be super cool. We checked out team's tents (in hopes of a little cover, we were not one of the umbrella wielding people). We people watched and dog watched, there certainly were a lot of cute babies and gorgeous dogs to entertain us. The rest of her family arrived and we got ready to start our 4.6 mile walk that for the last two years has been advertised as six miles. I think it is to give us walkers extra hope and that added sense of relief. When are about to hit four miles and think oh wow we still have two more to go, wait is that the finish line? We are almost done, YAY!!!! But that is only my theory. Families and office teams shouted a loud "GO BABIES" and off we went. And you know what, not a single drop of rain:) Let me tell you that certainly was super cool! We didn't have a shining sun but no rain was nice. We are almost out of the parking lot and beginning our journey when we hit equipment malfunction. Oh no, the stroller lost a wheel. Really? We aren't even officially on the road and the stroller bites the dust. However this is a durable buggy and our team "star" (mascot sounds rude) was safe and sound. So we continued our jaunt as if all was well. The stroller was still working but I do think the steering was a little rough. So here our team gets the blood pumping, the energy flowing, and the rhythm to our marching. However I should tell you our team ranged from ten months to adult. The younger range was not as enthused at the beginning. We hadn't hit the half mile mark and two of the youngsters echoed are we almost there? Kids, gotta love 'em :) Although near the end my thoughts were echoing their spoken words. How much farther? Are we almost done? I am tired of walking! Everyone was a trooper and this walk was way different than last years. Which reminded me that my HealthFULL Journey is changing my outlook, my daily life, and my health. Last year I dreaded the event because of fear. I really didn't know if I could complete the walk of six miles. And would I end up flat on my face? (Which I did last year! I am so not the picture of grace. I biffed on one of those road reflectors. I wasn't paying attention and my foot caught in wrong and WHAM hit the ground. Of course I have electronics galore in my pockets not knowing how long the walk would take and what distractions I could bring like a music player, camera, and phone. To tell you how hard I landed I broke my disposable plastic water bottle that they give out on the walk. Do you know how hard you have to throw one of those things to break it? Pretty hard! And of course I am with co-workers, so I play it off like "Ha ha I just fell isn't that crazy? No I am fine just checking during a thorough road inspection. Ha ha!" Of course the trolley that picks up stragglers saw and double checked on my well being. A bruised ego is much worse than a scraped knee, which I also received." Those fears ate me up last year. But this year I woke up super early for the event like a kid ready for the first day of school. I joked with my nieces and nephews and joined in some of their sprints along the march. Me - sprinting for kicks and giggles. Crazy! Last year after the event I stopped by a grocery store to pick up junk food as a well-deserved reward for the day's hard work (a tray of brownies and a full bag of potato chips) and a frothy coffee drink. Writing that now makes my stomach churn. I still have a long way on my HealthFULL Journey until I FULLy Understand Life by Living but I also need to acknowledge I have made progress. I didn't dread this event not knowing if I could finish. I didn't fall (thank you WII Fit for teaching me a little bit about balance). I enjoyed the company and chatted and laughed instead of just hyper focused on when is this event going to be done. I stopped no where after the event to pick up my "deserved" junk food (though I did enjoy a big bowl of the same potato chips, at least it wasn't the bag:) And then I relaxed the rest of the day and ended with a well deserved slumber:) Well-more needed than the junk food. So yesterday was a taste of accomplishing goals and that hard work is always rewarded. May your own HealthFULL Journey allow you the opportunity to reflect, succeed, and hunger for more. 'Til we meet again. . .

Outside in the Yard

Nothing like the sun shining, cool breeze, and no bugs. Today was a beautiful spring day and it was time to tackle the yard. Our backyard resembled a jungle mess; grass ten inches tall, weeds growing wild, and the seedlings of what I believe is called rubber gum trees. All I know is that when we sent our puppy outside to do her business we didn't know if we would see her again. Well I guarantee we will now. It is an oasis, or at least a pretty suburban backyard. I am gonna share that I skipped the Wii Fit today but definitely still got in my workout! It felt great to be out in the yard, working on this beautiful spring day. My hubby mowed the grass and weedwacked. I picked up the rake to gather those stupid cock a burr seedlings. And my hubby cleaned out the gutters. Oh can I feel the burn, a good burn, but a burn nonetheless. The tired muscles run down my thighs and through my arms, especially the forearms and my blisters on the palms of the hand remind me that I definitely worked hard in my work out today. It was therapeutic. I am not seeing the results on the scale as I hope but today showed me I am accomplishing something on this HealthFull Journey that can't be measured in numbers. I was getting yardwork completed. Last year these seedlings littered my yard and I picked up the rake then with very little results. I spent less than ten minutes gathering three small.....minuscule piles. And then because I was too tired (and winded) I left the piles just sitting there outside and do you know when I went back to pick them up. ....I didn't and let the wind destroy my little progress. But today I raked up five substantial piles that translated to ten filled garbage bags. That's right! Not only did I rake the WHOLE backyard I actually picked up the mess. That is huge measurable progress. And after that work I still had energy. Of course my muscles were screaming Uncle! and/or Mercy! but I felt exhilarated. I finished something! And the results were amazing, the backyard looked good and my spirit was lighter. As I pulled up weeds and scratched my yard with rake I realized how much I have ignored my own needs. It is easy to skip a weed, ignore the blemishes, and one leads into another. Much like weight, one pound doesn't change the whole outlook, so what if we add two more, three more, and then when you do start to notice the extra bulge here, and the extra bulge there...things have gotten out of hand it feels like it is too late. It is too hard to fix. It isn't worth the effort if the pounds/weeds are going to find their way back. It is too overwhelming. Where do I begin when the ending seems impossible. And the list rambles on and on. But like the yard, we just have to start somewhere. . .anywhere on the HealthFULL Journey to kickstart this journey and see where we end up.Like the weeds I need to kick out the unwanted pounds. Thanks for protecting what needed protection but it is time to let the unruly weeds go and allowing the healthy growth to have a chance. When we don't pay attention that is precisely when we get attacked, but if we stay alert and pay attention we can travel in stride and enjoy the Journey. Stay alert and keep the weeds away. If you weren't paying attention and a few weeds took root in your life, get to weeding and enjoy your HealthFULL Journey. 'Til we meet again. . . .

Simple, consistent, and Accountable

So I have a couple of funny things to share. First, I wrote the Dear John letter to the gym before I (we or really my hubby called as I am easily swayed on the phone and probably would have agreed to buy into the gym's franchise instead of dropping our membership :) So when Cor called they gave him the good run-around. Don't call us we don't handle the billing, call the billing they say to call the gym, and around we go. We finally get a hold of the correct people (billing department) and my husband firmly states we want to drop our membership. The woman other end politely tells him we already dropped you from our books. What?!? Did the gym really just break up with us, and kind of coldly I might add. They're hiding behind the fact that our contract ended, but really? It was an awful break-up, they claim they broke up first, but you read my Dear John to Gym. For the record I initiated the break-up. Anyway that thought made me laugh. We want to drop our membership, and their response "Oh, you can't because we already dropped you :)" Whatever! So my other funny story. The only one to play an April Fool's joke on me yesterday (April 1st) was the Wii Fit. Oh yes I booted up the system and the Wii Board Character who greets you and then weighs you every time was dressed in a patriotic spangly cap. The character says "Oh no I can't find the Wii Board, there must be a malfunction, and then giggles. That's right the cartoon giggled at me. And then heartily said, April Fool's. This program cracks me up. Now that the gym is no longer a part of my routine (but then was it ever part of my routine? Sure, I would get some good runs together, but the problem was it never stuck in my routine.) What am I going to do for exercise? Well, I am going to keep things simple, consistent, and accountable. Instead of shelling out money to force myself into awkward commitments, I am going to do things that are already accessible. Like what? Great question! I am using the Wii Fit on a daily basis ( mornings lately). Now that the weather is nice, maybe I can get my hubby to pick up a racket as we have tennis courts down the block. Taking my darling puppy for a walk. And my accountability is that I tend to be more motivated at doing things for other people then for myself. To keep motivated while getting in better shape is that I have decided to participate in two different charity events. Both causes are quite close to my heart as they have affected my family and too many of my friends. In three weeks and a day (April 24, 2010) I will be walking six miles (the site says but last year it was only four miles, same location) for March of Dimes for my littlest niece who was born almost four months premature and is doing fantastic at nine months (will be ten by the walk). To keep me motivated on the actual walk will be my oldest niece and I am so excited for the event. The other event is the Relay for Life in six weeks (May 14 - 15, 2010) organized by the American Cancer Society. My hubby and I plan to walk in honor of both of our moms who are cancer survivors and both have been cancer-free for 5+ years, Praise God! We also walk in memory of our friends' parents because too many friends have had to say good-bye to their parents at way too young of age. I truly feel that both of these charities are worthwhile and am proud to help them raise money to continue the great work that they are doing. If you would like to donate to either cause I would be so appreciative and grateful of your generosity. (You probably will have to copy and paste the web addresses). If you would like to donate to the March of Dimes please visit the website: www.marchforbabies.org/SuzySullivan If you would like to donate to the American Cancer Society please visit the website: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/SuzySullivan My HealthFULL Journey has led me to such great opportunities. I hope your Journey is blessing you with surprises and opportunities. Fully Understanding Life by Living is helping me to open my eyes, count my blessings, and enjoy the ride. 'Til we meet again. . .

A Dear John to Gym :(

Dear Gym, In the last two years we have tried to make it work. We have shared laughter, tears, and lots of sweat. A lot! I know you have given your best, although in the last year you too seem to be stretched at the seams. Remember my four thirty in the morning visit because you were suppose to be available twenty four hours? You didn't even open your doors. Remember how you disappeared from sight? I sadly read your good-bye letter on the door, but offering your other locations to me. We had a good thing going. I could visit the library as a little treat next door and then over to you to stretch and sweat. Your other locations didn't really get me motivated as they were out of my way. I tried to rearrange my life to make us work, but it just isn't coming together. I know gym that you are a good gym but not the match for me. I will cherish our times together and if it is a consolation. You are the longest and most attended health fitness club relationship I have ever attained. Please know I did enjoy our zumba classes and will remember our jokes about me and my flexibility and coordination in the privacy of the women's gym. I loved how together we chose which elliptical would be best, no squeaks, sturdy handles for my book, and usually on the end to avoid avid talkative athletes who were enjoying the burn:) See I don't leave you with a bitter heart. I know it is due to my inconsistency that we couldn't really connect and melt this weight. There isn't another place yet, but you should know I am hopeful and on the prowl. So Dear Gym, it truly is not you, but me! Maybe someday in the future you and I will be a better match, but until then. Please feel free to advertise and grow your membership and know that I am forever grateful for the commitment, the effort, and the foundation we together built. No matter what else I go to accomplish in my fitness journey, none of it would exist without the building blocks of you. So Dear Gym don't take this as a kiss off or as a final good-bye, but just a simple thank and maybe someday soon we will meet again. Good luck dear gym, good luck! It is hard to say good-bye to anyone or anything. But sometimes that is the best act we can commit while exploring our journey. To Finally Understand Life by Living on my own HealthFULL journey I realize relationships and goals change and therefore must be reevaluated. The gym I belong to has gone under several trasformations. I do like the place but different perks and conditions have not made it condusive to my life at this time. I am beginning to seek out what will motivate me to stay physically active. I have some ideas and will be sharing them soon. But I encourage anyone else on their HealthFULL Journey if it is time to say good-bye to a strain in your life, it may be hard at first to acknowledge the time has come to say good-bye but it will become a blessing if you truly let it go. Become the person you were meant to be, not the person you COULD be, if only. . . 'Til we meet again. . .

Green with Envy

Have you heard, we are all supposed to eat more greens? Does that news make your mouth feel covered with a yucky film? Did you wrinkle your nose? Are your thoughts racing around whining, but we don't like to eat our greens? If any of these reactions sound familiar don't fret! I have some easy solutions for you.

We all know green leafy vegetables are healthy and good for us. Maybe it is this knowledge that makes us cringe, healthy never tastes good. But let me tell you a secret. . . are you leaning in? Are you ready to hear this? Healthy food can be tasty...shhhh!!!! I am being completely honest!

My two biggest complaints about the greens in leafy variety never tasted good and how do I prepare them? Let's tackle the prep because this is where you are going to make them tasty. Most greens can be added to a salad. Which is probably the healthiest way you can eat them ensuring there maximum vitamins are retained. I also find these somewhat bitter. But you can add a sweet component to your salad, because I sure do have a sweet tooth. I love fruit for this and keep it simple, apples chopped, berries halved or whole, or the good ol' raisins. Mix with a friendlier lettuce when adding dark greens at first to customize your taste buds because that is usually the unfriendliness. Sadly greens are strangers to too many of us. Become acquaintances , sneak them in a salad or possibly top a burger, but after awhile you'll become good ol' pals and they might even become the entree or at least the major side. Also not all greens are equally nutritionally nor flavor wise. So if you don't like one move on to the next. I am going to share our last two introductions. Beet greens which is pictured above in both pictures and Collard greens. I feel so southern, now that we have boiled our first on our own collard greens:)

Beet greens might be my favorite green and the recipe we made was so simple and so tasty. We just wilted them. The picture on the top left is that we ate them with country fried tofu (which sounds a little crazy but honest to goodness tasted like chicken) and brown rice. The top right picture is to show how pretty they get up close with this simple prep. If you look closely you can see how the red of the beets sweats through the leaves, pretty and tasty!!! We added a little olive oil (LITTLE). Keep your pan hot and just drizzle enough to thinly coat the bottom to avoid burning. Most leafy vegetables especially after rinse carry enough moisture to help them cook. This side takes no more than five minutes including the rinse. So again, heat your pan, add a little olive oil and then pour in your greens (a bunch or so). Stir them around as they begin to wilt. Add a pinch each (think no more than 1 tsp) of salt and sugar. Stir together a little longer and voila! You are done. The sugar and the salt highlights the flavor of the beet greens, so a little truly goes a long way.

The other green we have added to our repertoire is the southern collard green. Now I am no nutrition expert and will say I believe that boiling your greens, you are for the most part bleeding out the healthy nutrients unless you also consume the broth. But also in my opinion is that it is better to eat greens that may not be maximizing their nutrition value then just avoiding them all together. Moving on to how we prepared our collard greens. The secret is boiling your water with flavors. We included hot sauce, seasoning salt, garlic powder, pepper, balsamic vinegar, and a little bit of bacon. We simmered our water for roughly fifteen minutes, (I imagine a little longer would help increase the flavor) and then added the collard greens. We boiled them for forty minutes. They were authentic and delicious with our oven roasted chicken and red fried rice (including tomatos, red pepper, and red onion.) Also the plate looks so pretty with all the natural colors of the food.

Don't be green with envy at how we incorporated greens into our meals, pick up your own and figure out what easy prep would work best for you and your family. I am a challenged cook and promise you that adding vegetables to your meals is not nearly as hard as we want to make it sometimes. It is fun to taste food prepared for the first time by yourself. I find there to be a sense of accomplishment and a surprise. Did this turn out? Will I like it? Will we attempt this again, maybe fixed differently? The possibilities are endless. May you find veggies that will make your friends, family, neighbors, green with envy at how tasty and easy they were to fix. May your HealthFULL Journey help you to Fully Understand Life by Living and trying new flavors! 'Til we meet again. . .

Bunny-hop

Do you remember that popular wedding dance? Kick out kick out hop forward, hop BACKWARD, hop hop hop! To do the big hops forward we have to hop back. I don't like the rewind button. I would mind a do over or re-set every now and then but the rewind means we have to relive past mistakes. I hate being wrong. Like really HATE being wrong. I understand no one is perfect but what is done is done and it is hard...maybe not hard but uncomfortable. I hate that feeling. I hate watching awkward scenes in movies, I like to skip over awkward sentences, and I don't enjoy awkward scenes in real life because I don't like to be uncomfortable and certainly never want to be responsible for some else's discomfort. But I think that is a part of life. We need to feel the rough patches to adjust accordingly. I am working hard to look back to the moments in life that made me who I am today, physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally. This means I am going to have to pull out the time line I started. It means as I muddle through homework once again (still so foreign) I should remember where I was ten years ago attempting some of these subjects. I have started reading through a book entitled Body Clutter by the Flylady and the Dinner Diva (their names escape me right this second) to help unpack some of these emotional pounds. Some of their chapters I have to stop because they are just a little to close to my own truth. I think that is part of this process that challenges me. I am a creative person and enjoy a good story. I am realizing that about myself I recreated certain memories or events to a storifed version and have to almost relive it to allow myself to regain the truth and reveal the true emotions that I packed up neatly in my re-created story. I am sorry to tell you but I think we all are guilty of this every now and then. We paint ourselves the victim or embellish our hero moments. We prefer to omit the details that make us look imperfect and add a few details to make the story more interesting. Sometimes we do this trick so cleverly we even disguise the truth to ourselves and I think somewhere within these stories of mine lies some understanding to at least a few of these extra pounds I carry. So the bunny-hop I dance. I kick out to the right and the left I hop forward but now I must hop back. Forward is so exciting in the possibilities of the unknown and the adventures to be had. But the hop backwards is disheartening, it is not forward. It is where we have been. In these hops we left some hurts behind. We shrug off frustrations back there. But it is in these steps backward we gain the momentum to move such a distance forward. So I tentatively jump back because I believe I am truly ready to hop three forward. I'll revisit what I can find and see what I can hopefully uncover. I hope in your HealthFULL Journey all your hops are beneficial and exciting. I hope none leave you disheartened and that you reveal the fun and truth hiding in your own steps. Now get hopping! 'Til we meet again. . .

Continuing with the Wii

Isn't exercise fun? Well in the virtual world it is super fun. And the Wii Fit takes things pretty serious. I enjoy the yoga section and it gives you a choice would you like a female or a male trainer. I chose a female and she began changing her hairstyle. The first time this happened I was like that must have been my imagination but oh no she has done it several times in our 55 days together, because the Wii Fit lets me know the facts always. But what was super interesting/funny the other morning the male trainer asked if we could switch things up and have him step in as my trainer. I had to close my eyes and rub out the sleep to make sure I wasn't still sleeping. Nope , indeed my regular trainer couldn't make it. My hubby and I have joked quite about this. Was she sick? Was it too early? Maybe she had class. It was just odd, in a funny kind of way. I am slowly improving my balance. And isn't fun to see improvement? I know it is a game, but I still get super psyched when I beat my old scores:) And the plank exercise is no laughing matter. That exercise kicks my tush, or more appropriately my abs every time. It says that I am ready to compete against the "virtual" trainer on who can hold their plank the longest and I am without a doubt it will be the computer trainer who will win. I haven't got the guts (or maybe still too much gut:) yet to try...But someday :) The Wii Fit keeps me accountable to the most important person, myself. It lets me know when I last stepped on and how much I have worked out these 55 days. If I am progressing toward my goal or stopping short. It forces me to focus on movements I haven't attempted in years, Hula hoop seriously? I couldn't even do that as a kid. But I am still trying to swivel my hips with the rest of them. I unlocked the advance bike route....man oh man...I couldn't find the last flag to save my life. At one point it even offered to save my spot so that I could take a break and come back to finish the ride. Really, was this game taunting me, I found the last flag to stop the never-ending bike trip. And My legs were SORE!!! But in that good way of being stretched to their limit (and never beyond!). Also the runs are kind of fun with the obnoxious little cat, together we've climbed bridges, roofs, sand, hills, and paths galore. The other day Cor was on his lunch and greeted our puppy knowing exactly what I was doing. That made me feel good that he was aware of my effort. Not so I could get my gold star (though I do appreciate my blue star marking my Wii Fit progress), but that he knows I am doing it because I am actually doing it and sticking to something. It helps that it changes up to my choosing and kind of suprises me as well. Also, it gives me something to enjoy while doing the work and then stories to laugh with my family. A virtual trainer unable to make the workout is super funny:) I mean the backstory one can create and elaborate makes things hilarious. I am excited to feel like I have found my niche for the time being. Progress is happening and that is always motivation. This HealthFULL Journey is helping me to drop bad habits, broaden my horizons, and to look forward to the next adventure. May your HealthFULL Journey open your eyes and heart to new experiences that bless you daily. 'Til we meet again. . .

Bloody Fantastic!!!

Blood Orange meet my friends,

Friends meet Blood Orange.

Have you ever tasted a blood orange? Have you tasted an orange? For the most part, they are the same flavor. But if I am going to share this experience I have to tell you I was freaked out about trying this fruit. The picture you see is the actual blood orange I tasted, modeled next to the spinach salad we tossed it with (including yummy grape tomatos and blueberries). This picture doesn't do the peel justice. It looks like an orange with a spidery pinkish red that "bleeds" through the coloring. Although the outside coloring is noticeable it isn't really off-putting. But once you start peeling it away. Wowsers, freak-out city. There is just something that made my skin crawl when peeling away the peel and discovering an almost black fruit. It smelled very much like an everyday typical orange. But the color of the fruit made me think of decay, moldy, and definitely had to be rotten or at least bitter. I was getting the heebie jeebies and stalling the taste test. My hubby who is supporting me this entire HealthFULL Journey and participant in most activities, especially the new fruit, veggie, or grain of the week was standing there smirking. I offered him his piece and took my section. We both made a grimacing face and tried to wait out the other person. We agreed to both try on the count of three as not to sway the other. So, 1....2....3 and down the hatch. And the verdict was....it tastes like orange. The ending note was a tish more sour than an orange closer to a grapefruit or even that tart finish of a raspberry.

I do think the color is fun. It really did test my preconceived perception. We are conditioned to think food of this color is past its prime and it truly made me nervous to bite into this deep dark purple. If you want to spice up the color in your meal with the deep darkness factor this is easy to incorporate. My hubby and I included this with our spinach salad and it blended perfectly.

And of course there is some great nutritional value packed in this citrus powerhouse. Of course this is an excellent source of Vitamin C (Cold be gone!!!). The Blood Orange (I believe this type specifically is the Moro, but I am only guessing) is a great source of other nutrients. According to thedailyplate.com the blood orange also serves up a good amount of our daily fiber requirements, Folate (If there are any pregnant ladies with a hankering for citrus this is a good choice!), thiamin (Vitamin B1) and potassium. Some other small values are listed as well.

So get out there shop, garden, or trade with your neighbors to expand your tasting horizons. For we are embarking on a new season and it is a perfect time to tantalize and challenge your tastebuds. This activity of embracing new veggies, fruits, and grains is my favorite while traveling my HealthFULL Journey. Fully Understanding Life by Living for me means to embrace the adventure, to challenge my preconceptions, to laugh and enjoy the ride. I hope you all are finding newness in your routine to keep things exciting and challenging. May you too experience your own HealthFULL Journey. 'Til we meet again. . .

Junk food Junkie

My name is Suzy and I am a Junk-food Junkie. And I don't know why. I get these cravings and lose complete focus on everything else. I just am just fixated on getting potato chips and something sweet. (Little Debbies can you hear me calling?) And Ice Cream that is its own level of cravings. We were doing really well keeping out the junk food. Because I will totally confess, I cannot stop at one chip. I cannot stop at even one serving...or half a bag. So it really is just best to keep it away. Same with little Debbies, but that craving traces back to elementary school. You could buy a huge treat for a quarter from a gas station that was conveniently on the way home. And Ice cream, who doesn't love ice cream. I enjoy trying the kooky combinations. I sadly have to study the freezer when we go grocery shopping to make sure they haven't added new flavors. I know this is all a little too much information. But with this blog I am going for full disclosure and holding nothing back. How else can I expect to change my life (and improve it) than to air out the dirty laundry? But the truest form of junk food that frankly has defined my life.....Pop...or for those from other regions, soda. I can't imagine a time in my life that I didn't consume pop by the boat load. I have gone caffeine free, I have gone sugar free, and I have even gone caffeine sugar free. But I have not gone without. Recently I mentioned that water was becoming the drink of choice and LIMITING soda. However, a couple of rough days and late nights, Hello Diet Dr. Pepper. And yes I have heard the research, how diet soda is all chemicals, how it increases cravings, how it isn't even quenching true thirst, but it has been my friend and compadre many years. In our heyday I easily have drunk six to seven cans of soda whether it be sugar filled (roughly eight hundred calories) or diet kind (I do not want to know the chemical count). But for experimentation I had decided to give up soda for the Lenten season. It has been two and half weeks and I have to say there are days that I have the thought of a refreshing cola in the back of my head. A few days run down without my thirst being an issue and water has been the delicious filler. Eighteen days without a soda of any sort is definitely a record for me. At first my cravings for sugar were through the roof and now I am going through a salty (Sodium count can get high with soda)phase. I can't really explain it but I think I feel better without the soda. Once the cravings pass maybe I can be more descriptive and understand what truly feels different. This journey is definitely eye-opening and by Fully Understanding Life by Living I truly am appreciating new perspectives within new scenarios. I encourage you to switch things up. Because nothing changes your life more than allowing yourself the chance to view and experience things with a new perspective. Continue to enjoy your own HealthFULL Journey. 'Til we meet again. . .