Boo goes the Pumpkin

But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. - Matthew 13:23

I once was a summer girl.  My birthday was in the summer. We always traveled on our biggest family vacations in the summer. No school!  We would ride our bikes - everywhere! Especially the pool! The taste of freedom on those bikes with just enough breeze a little change in the pocket for the ice cream treats and cold soda cans from vending machines.  And I used to tan this beautiful gold and the sun naturally highlighting my hair.  What happened?  Now I am so not a fan of the summer - it's buggy, hot, and I always feel sweaty and I no longer tan.  I burn pink and then red rather quickly.  No fun!  But autumn?

Oh how I have fallen in love with autumn (Secretly I would love to name a daughter Autumn Rain - I can share this with you as my husband has vetoed this a bajillion times but I am a die-hard dreamer and still holding out hope :) But the temperatures around here are just perfect for layers and jeans.  My favorite outfit.  The leaves are just majestic.  And some of my favorite produce appears in the markets.  I love my berries in the summer those reds and blues and maroon blacks - yummy, sweet and tart.  But when the crispness of the air starts to appear its apple and yes wait for it ..... the beautiful greens, oranges, reddish tones play out for the wonderful Winter squash season - can we say delicious?   And minus the turban squash (my arch-nemesis) the rest of the squash family is always a go-to for a super tasty, filling, and easy side item/entree.  You can see my entry last year how the turban squash and I fought.  I always like to claim victory but as they begin to appear in stores I physically turn my cart around at the sight of these amazingly grotesque but yet disturbingly attractive sculptures of produce.  But no handy chef knife will slide through these heavy duty squashes.  The work did not equal the reward - so I steer clear.  But if you are having an autumn party they would make phenomenal center pieces. 

But yes the squashes have hit the supermarkets and now my home.  We sit with a two spaghetti squashes and one butternut squash (by far the family favorite as it makes a simple but tasty roasted side or can also be used in a cozy heart-warming  soup. )  And here comes our fruit/veggie of the week - A White Pumpkin.  I believe the grocery store just called it a mixed pumpkin. 

Boo - Happy Autumn :)

So why the white pumpkin?  If you have read my produce of the week I am a sucker for non-typical color choices.  Pumpkins are always thought of as orange.  As the white pumpkin sat a couple of weeks on our counter (love that squash has a sturdy shelf life) I always chuckled at the sight of it.  I thought two things.  Its a ghost pumpkin which sounds like a fantastic halloween mascot/symbol.  And two it looks like someone washed away all the orange and here sits this morose pumpkin without its cheery festive orange color.  After several conversations and hints from my husband that it would just make his day to come home and the pumpkin no longer stealing our counter space I decided to tackle the pumpkin project.

Who doesn't have great pumpkin memories?  The carving, the baked goods (my dad makes fantastic pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie and even yummy pumpkin seeds.) This used to be one of our fall traditions.  My dad was in charge of pumpkin duty and I was honored to be his assistant.  I gathered and picked through pumpkin guts when we would carve our two family pumpkins which I believe I did most years up to my junior or senior year in high school.  I do enjoy holiday traditions - the cheesier the activity the better right ? :)  And I was assigned certain duties for pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread - I was ALWAYS the sifter for pumpkin bread.  We had a squeeze sifter that I used over wax paper. After I married my hubby the amazing chef of our household.  He asked me to sift and I was so excited as this was a kitchen task both familiar and fun.  Smiling to myself as I was going to dazzle my hubby with my amazing skills he hands me this tin mug with a crank.  Ummmm what is that?  He shrugged and had the audacity to raise his eyebrows with the reply "A sifter".  Ummmmm no.  My sifter of choice is a tupperware equivalent with a orange top with a handle that you squeeze and part of the top swivels back and forth as it passes the dry ingredients.  Don't give me this lose sieve with a weird crank.  A girl has her pride and loyalty to childhood traditions.  Plus my daddy used to praise my sifting skills my husband again shrugged his shoulders and offered "then don't sift its not that big of deal."  Oh its a big deal! 

But I digress back to the white pumpkin.  It was intimidating!  I tackled the pumpkin in the past as an assistant letting the leader navigate the recipe and the portions.  I don't know what to do with this pumpkin - soup, bread, pastry, treat it like squash?  And the size I wasn't sure exactly how this broke down. One dish, two, three, six? I don't know.  So I decided I wanted pumpkin seeds and to puree the rest and throw it in the freezer until I had the wits about me and measurements.  Wow - I know why I procrastinated with this huge white pumpkin.  It's a lot of work to cook this produce with no true path.  We did roast the pumpkin seeds using the fabulous "Roasted Pumpkin Seeds" recipe from www.epicurious.com    

Ingredients

Ingredients
2 cups pumpkin seeds, rinsed and dried
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 drops hot pepper sauce

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Line a baking pan with aluminum foil.
2. Stir together the pumpkin seeds and butter in a bowl. Add the salt, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, and hot pepper sauce; stir. Spread the seeds in a single layer on the baking pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven until crispy, about 45 minutes.

Read More http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/ROASTED-PUMPKIN-SEEDS-51179871#ixzz2AHWC70SU

Ohhh so good!  I am so debating if we should buy at least one more pumpkin for just the seeds.  Such a tasty snack - little savory, little spice, little salt, little sweet and fantastic crunch!!! When you first cut into the white pumpkin you may be surprised that the flesh is a pale yellow.  I think I still expected that bright orange flesh that screams "Happy Halloween".  But the seeds were pretty easy to remove as the pumpkin guts weren't as gloppy as I remember.  Not sure if that is the difference between the white pumpkin and the traditional orange carving style pumpkins.  Or if I am not the same and didn't puposely dig through the flesh in search of every single seed.

We do things - simple actions, big gestures, innocent comments that people observe, record in their memories and base opinions or judgements.  The quiet moments when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and unscripted are when people truly witness our contributions and our character.  My dad had no idea how much I would still treasure those fall days where we baked pumpkins and I still can see where I sat to sift my ingredients on the wax paper and smell the spice of pumpkin goods.  I can only hope that my son is starting to build his own scrapbook of the memories that will warm his heart about his childhood.  Our witness about our spiritual journeys, our mental conquests, our physical feats, our heartfelt passions, and/or our simple acts of charity need not be grand or over-the-top crazy or perfectly molded - they just need to be sincere.  And hopefully when we do good, with God's grace and blessing some of our actions will be seeds that fall into good soil to encourage the growth of others. May God bless you and keep you - 'til we meet again. . .

To Seek is to Discover

"Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding." --Romans 14:19

 

 

Day 2 as a Stay at home Mommy had a rough start we were playing a hidden treasure/ scavenger hunt/ follow the leader and I was unaware of the target.  Have you ever had a boss ream you out in a language you don't understand?  For fifteen minutes I had an irate toddler gesturing frantically, grunting, bellowing, and chiding at me in toddlerese.  I adore the kid I promise you but he is kind of a grumpy bear when he wakes up.  This morning he pointed immediately to the rocking chair.  Which usually at night means rock me mommy/daddy and sing/hum me a lullaby or two or five.  This is not our normal morning routine.  But I am a new employee eager to comply and smooth out all interactions.  Well we hit the rocker and flailed our arms with a scream of protest.  Ahhh morning point to the rocker does not mean sit.  I asked jokingly, I asked matter of factly, I pointed out suggestions and none could help solve the miscommunication.  I tried to go on with our morning as if he didn't have a dire message to share with me.  Diaper change was an obstacle course, a few tears from both parties, but then back to the morning hunt/argument.  You may have noticed the angry Donald Duck stomp is the best visual of how my son appeared after twelve minutes of my incompetence/ignorance.  By this time we had tried sitting in the rocking chair four times, the recliner twice, two offers of breakfast in the high chair and at least ten rounds of bedroom to living room and total meltdown when we closed his bedroom door.  (Which we do daily so this was especially alarming.)  Finally, he said something about da-da - ah a word I understand.  And something that resembled where da-da?  Victory I think I know what or I should say whom we've been searching - bad news daddy had only been at work for ten minutes.  I tried reaching him on the phone thinking this may bring peace to our home.  Of course no answer.  So I opened the garage.  And somehow - this gesture - this act - brought calmness to our chaos.  Drew was pleased with the missing car.  Maybe he understood that I wasn't hiding his daddy from him.  Maybe he was excited to play in an area of the house he rarely sees minus departures and arrivals.  Maybe he was tired of yelling at mommy.  Regardless I felt victorious and the world's best detective/crisis manager by 8:10 this morning.  But a fifteen minute berating takes a toll even if the boss is an adorable almost two year old.  Unto our next task - breakfast.  Easy peasy. 

Now chore time!  Its kind of like Double Chores which then doubles again.  My son loves to take out the trash.  So I handed him some garbage he grabbed his best friend and the three of us trekked through our yard to dispose of the mounting garbage.  Sure it takes longer to actually trek the shole way but the boss looks so smug when he does his part.  From trash we moved unto clutter piles - I do love me a good clutter pile - if you saw my house it appears I collect them as they multiply quickly (especially if you ignore them like I have :) So we attacked the clutter - which means I tried to straighten and my li'l wonder felt attacking the clutter meant we should physically attack the clutter.  Throw it, stomp it, eat it, push it, hit it - you get the idea.  This chore is done in small increments for sanity and safety reasons (especially when we get to the biting/eating portion). 

After lunch and a lengthy nap -( Naps alone are a victory and a beautiful reminder why the schedule needed some fiddling ) - we did another small round of clear clutter and then break time.  I love the thought of routines and deadlines and goals to accomplish.  I also am a huge procrastinator without some schedule.  So as a motivation tool and to truly appreciate this time with my son I have a goal to do something fun/productive/out of the rut - crafty, experiment, field trips/errands.  Something stimulating - don't get me wrong I love the goldie oldies (everyday toys, dances, books, songs) but I want him to learn about the world and me to have the chance to learn about him.  So we did our Speech therapy homework of shapes - we colored them and stickered them and it was the best part of my day.  I get caught up in activities, schedules, lists, daydreams, etc.  I seek perfection and extremes.  But for that time I was present.  I was giggling, I was coloring and playing with stickers (probably my favoritest thing to collect since I was six - weird but totally true factoid :) , I was in the world I imagined. 

After two loads of laundry it was unto another fantastic dinner if I must confess.  Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs with tomatoes.  YUM!  It felt a little bit victorious to eat two nights in a row before seven as a family eating the same meal.  Also using up ingredients that usually are bought with the best intentions and then sadly forgotten and thrown out in total waste.  But not this week.  This week the tomatoes found a home in our bellies and not the garbage can.  I know - it's the little victories.  Plus I made extras of the pancakes for the freezer (ha ha take that frozen waffles!!!)

It's the honeymoon phase of the job.  Call me cocky - call me naive but I just think I might still be in love with this job after the first two weeks.  But we will see :)  A part of me has secretly craved this job for two years but sadly I didn't think I was qualified or up to the challenge.  And another part feared boredom.  Its looking like it is even better than what I dreamed.  May your HealthFULL Journey pursue your desires that will bring peace and upbuilding to yourself and those around you.  For when we follow God's Will everything has its own way of working itself out. God's blessings until we meet again. . .



Call me Suzy Homemaker :)

 

"Train children in the right way,

and when old, they will not stray." --Proverbs 22:6

 

 I've started yet another new job.  The hours are long and demanding - the pay is pretty much zilch (literally!) and the boss, well at least my immediate daily supervisor - whew - misses NOTHING!  Here - meet my boss - Mr. Drew - 

 

 

Yes, my boss is a little bit precious.  A little bit adorable - but don't let him fool you - he is demanding and misses NOTHING!  Bathroom breaks are not tolerated and no sneaking off for an early coffee break - munchies will be shared or there will be none. 

 

 

Why the change?  I loved the challenge of my last job opportunity and the kids were enthusiastic and entertaining.  But the schedule was wrecking havoc here at home.  I was scheduled 2:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. with roughly a half hour drive time either direction.  This did not include the drop-off schedule for caretakers.  And my son is an afternoon napper.  Which means it was too late to start a nap after switching caretakers or too early for nap to be done.  For two weeks this kid was working on less than ten to thirty (luxury version and rare!) minute naps. The earliest dinner happened was 7:00 pm.  Note I said earliest and that is not helpful for a toddler nor his parents.  Plus Monday through Friday with afternoon childcare needs we were always coming up a day short for childcare.  Someone had appointments, or my husband had a funny work schedule, or some random emergency and we were always struggling and complaining (I was more the complainer and the whiner - but the whole house suffered!)  So with a lot of prayer and discussion we realized we weren't benefitting from the job as much as we hoped.  With a daily afternoon obligation I wasn't quite motivated to dive into some of the big organization projects I have piling up around here.  Plus, the point of working part-time was to actually spend time with my son and that's not really quality time as he chases me around for attention and then destroys the area I have neatened - frustrating us all.  The extra income was going to gas, childcare, and eating out as we were trying to eat somewhat together somewhat early.  And housework wasn't happening,  I tried to code it in organization but I must reiterate housework was very low on the priority list - laundry and dishes were bare minimum to keep the house functioning, but otherwise very VERY low on the list.  And family time was schedules, clean (insert laundry and dishes here), fretting, and the occasional giggle. 

 

 

So as we wait for God's next whisper I am doing the job I have feared and secretly desired since my son's birth.  To be a stay at home mom.  Why a fear?  I am not one to clean nor cook really.  And being a mom sometimes still shocks me.  That this adorable toddler and I are connected for LIFE - that's a forever kind of commitment!  But the good things are too many to count.  I already feel accomplished for the first day.

 

I played with my son as we looked at books, chased each other around, danced (the kid has some fancy and hysterical moves), cuddled for television, and just randomly chatted and moved in the same space.  He helped me do three loads of laundry, took a long enough nap for me to tackle most of the master bathroom (it had hit EW! status), sweep, vacuum, change kitty litter, took an early morning bath, had an Early Interventionist appointment, straightened countertops, and with a little assistance from my hubby we cooked cheesy beer bread with chicken n dumplings.  YUM!!! I have never made a dumpling until today.  It is one of those comfort dinners of my childhood that seemed a perfect challenge for a beautiful autumn day when all three members of our family have some sort of cold. 

 

And the best part - my husband asked me tonight if I felt stressed and I giggled no!  I can't tell you the last evening I could have answered that question with a genuine no.  Oh there are challenges - like the small mountains of clutter that have taken residence.  There is the establishing a rhythm of my son and I and the balance of  this new role such as time and expectations of both my husband and myself.  And finances *gulp*.  But for the first time I am embracing TODAY!  Today I get to spend time with my son. I might find a new job tomorrow, next week, next month - who knows?  But I have today to enjoy my life, my family, my home and I am going to cherish it. 

 

This experience is a gift from my true boss - God.  And also a gift from my partner, my soul mate, my co-pilot in this parenting gig - my amazing hubby - who handles life with such a sense of ease.  And a gift to truly get to know my little wonder.  He's a tough boss with a good heart!  So I take the challenge with enthusiasm and anticipation for the rewards like this:

 

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life.  We have today to spend with those we love and accomplish what really matters.  If tomorrow doesn't come are you happy with how you handled today?   God Bless 'til we meet again. . .    

Mental Cobwebs

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!
That it is me blowing out the tension.  This week I have screamed, cried, giggled, yelled, collapsed, growled, clapped, strained, and made apologies, many apologies in reaction to the events.  I have just been off beat. Everytime I try to alter my steps or seek a new rhythm I get lost.  And I mean lost!!! I have to drive a mini bus for my job.  I am not one to brag about my driving and I obviously have commented on my navigation skills.  But this week I truly outdid myself.  I was on time for work. Which would narrow it down to Tuesday since every other day I was not :(  (Seriously this has just been beyond a crazy week!!!)  I get in the bus check my mileage make sure it is in good condition and am off to my first pick-up.  Wait! There is an orange light on the dash - not good! So I make a quick call back to my employment and they say to keep driving.  All right! Good to go - pick up the kids, next stop successful as well.  Missing one kid - early dismissal excellent back to work I go - smooth easy - like I've done it before.  The kids get a little rowdy.  I have a pow wow with almost half the bus about rules and the reason we have rules is for everyone's safety - awesome! Back on the road for the final school.  Which is literally a block away from the second stop.  I know my way I am good to go!  I take the curve and realize I am in big trouble.  The bus and I are now in the car lanes.  Slow motion shake of the head and a yelp of frustration and for good measure hit the steering wheel with the palm of my hand because I am literally stuck.  Oh sure there is a middle lane created for those who dare to drive this street between 3 and 4.  As two lanes are lined up going the same way against both curbs.  But the middle lane is barely wide enough for a family sedan.  And I mean barely as I watched a car meander for five minutes down the block through all of the awaiting vehicles.  Nowhere enough room for my mini bus/oversized van to squeak through without extensive damage to numerous vehicles.  So I wait - because there wasn't much choice.  Ten minutes tick by - another ten minutes tick -school is officially done for the day.  Five more minutes pass and there comes the swarm of middle schoolers.  I had a horrific thought that I had to wait to bypass the lane until the 13 cars in front of me and the 14 cars beside me matched up with their riders. (Yes I did count - I certainly had enough time :)  But slowly after the second swarm of teenagers ascend cars begin to crawl.  Each taking a turn - another seven minutes pass - and FREEDOM !!! I am able to drive the extra 100 feet to the bus lane which is accesible from the other end of the street!  And look no buses because they have came, picked up the kids, and been on their merry way for at least ten minutes.  I still somehow manage to park in the wrong spot but as the normal traffic is gone I am excused.  However I have to wait because the kids had been notified that their bus was stuck in car traffic - because yes a bus in the car lanes makes quite a sight of what is wrong with this picture.  So four of my kids arrive breathless as they had run the distance from the original pick up location to the car lanes and back.  However, they forgot to tell the fifth classmate - the bus had ended up back in the bus pick up lane.  So down to three kids as one volunteers to grab the classmate. Who won't believe his classmate and takes his time following.  Alright five kids - as I mentioned I am only a block away from my second stop which I found my employment quite easily.  But being frazzled from our waiting I blow right past the correct street to turn.  And I begin my scenic journey.  Several youth question where we are going and I chuckle after my apologies for their wait and confusion.  I think I can pull out of my confusion and forge the path for the bus back to work.   No go after seven minutes.  I admit defeat and turn around to retrace my route.  Seriously one of the kids question where are we going and again I offer my apologies and that we are indeed headed back.  Then I park the bus after our not so fun nor scenic route.  The bus continues to buzz and squeal at me as I remove the keys.  There is a little button I sort of knew about but not enough to figure out without two other faculties assistance.  Stellar - Tuesday and I have been lost twice.  That's right I was late to work Monday because I got lost from my house to work.  I had taken the wrong exit and like a hiker lost in the woods I kept during circles around a complicated intersection. 

Wednesday was a no go for work - As obligations piled up and then my son fell down some steps literally as we are about to leave the house.  He is okay, we consulted with medical professionals and were given instructions what we should keep under keen observation.  Then Thursday I had psychological/personality tests to endure.  I answered 567 True False statements about myself - then 240 questions with 5 levels of strongly agree to strongly disagree also about myself and then some vocabulary and logic questions.  Great! Plus a four hour round trip drive and still go to work -  = A round of awesomeness but get this I didn't get lost.  I apparently only do that within a 20 mile radiues of where I live.   My husband and I are trying to work out more with a regular schedule in hopes of actually working out.  Usually we meet at the gym Thursday but with my mind spinning and our son not sleeping before nine most nights we figure a little family walk around our neighborhood would be suffice.  Of course we had a million tiny tasks to do after I was about thirty minutes late from work. Dinner wasn't ready as my husband had several calls to handle and that is kind of the pace this entire week.  And then Friday was its own special day with different hiccups. 

But after hearing the bit you did - can you understand why I want to get rid of these mental cobwebs?  Yes we did go out of town last week and had a wonderful time as family at the beach with some friends.  But this week I have felt behind the eight ball every moment of every day.  Hopefully , this weekend I can have some quiet time with my cute little boy, get some things organized so that I am not doing the fifty yard dash with hurdles daily, and rearrange priorities.  Because there is a hierarchy of what really matters at the end of the day.  Its not fair to tell everyone and everything they are number one and then they fall almost everyday to sixth, seventh place.  They feel bad, I usually feel worse and no one is feeling like the superstar!  We almost passed on our family walk Thursday night - it was dark, we were grouchy, and overwhelmed and yet we agreed that even a simple four block jaunt would do us a world of good.  It would clear that mental cobweb stubbornly gripping our health and time and stealing joy from us.  It did help - we talked, we moved, and we accomplished far more in that fifteen minutes than what our to do list would show.

If you are having mental cobwebs - I completely understand - we can trade stories anytime :)  If you feel it is too much work or overwhelmed - take that ten minute walk or twenty minute nap - or half day of fun with those you love.  Because trudging through life is no way to live and the cobwebs will still be able to cling.   

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

When you live your HealthFULL Journey and come across those days that seem rough, overwhelming, or just plain not fun - may you on those days stir in a giggle, an opportunity to get creative, or serve as a wake up call.  God called us to live with enthusiasm and burn as a light for HIM not to suffocate under the overwhelming tasks of the daily grind and allow the mental cobwebs to pull us down.  Destroy those cobwebs by living in the glory of GOD. 'Til we meet again. . .

Causing quite a Racquet!

causing quite a racquet!
 

Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom,
and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too,
is a chasing after the wind. - Ecclesiastes 1:17


Thwap! Boom! Swoosh! *Grunt* *Yelp* Ahhhhhhhh!

Yes these are the sounds you would have heard as I competed on the racquetball court with my hubby Cor on Monday night.  These are also the sounds that have taken residence in our lives.  To say we have been busy this past month is a laughable quote.  Time, energy, tears, tearing of hair have been spent in abundance.  Working at a new job, getting glasses for the toddler, taking our beach vacation, teaching Sunday School, and scheduling appointments - lots and lots of appointments are some of the highlights of why I have been so quiet about this HealthFULL Journey.  There has been lots to say with little time to share. 

With our hectic schedules you can see why I feel like I am chasing the wind.  I feel I have the grasp of a situation or have captured a moment of wisdom and then it slides right through my fingers and I am left holding - NOTHING!  It is a frustrating pursuit, but I continue on this path because that moment of capture - that split second where you feel you have reached the treasured goal - your heart bursts with pride, your lips curve in a smile, and that glow of satisfaction starts to wash over you.  Only starts to cover you because in that next second you have lost that moment and again begin to desperately chase the opportunity that was just within your grasp.

My life this past month has felt like a game of racquetball.  And not just any game of racquetball but the heated match between Corey and myself 9/24/12.  My husband greeted me after work after we both were running thirty minutes late (which equals out the thirty minutes I was late to work - shocker I got lost!!!)  We stopped by the front desk to request a court to begin our battle and also the equipment.  You can see we are hard-core athletes when it comes to this fast-paced game.  It had been about a decade since either of us had played - but that didn't stop us from our pursuit to battle to the death - or until our twenty five minutes were done as both courts were already scheduled for that time. 

We entered the court, gripped our racquets, and securely placed our protective eyegear.  My husband gets ready to serve that little rubber ball of speed and force.  Oh timeout!  My glasses are fogging up.  A phenomenon I know well as I began wearing glasses at age five in Northern Minnesota.  My gracious husband switched goggles as he had not had any trouble with his pair.  Double drat these fogged up on me too.  We haven't even started playing and I can't see.  I feel these protective eyewear are not going to help me avoid danger as much as place me directly in the path of the lightning quick ammunition as a suitable target.  Again a perfect way to describe how some of these past weeks have felt.  What should protect and help me in my journey has served as direct missiles and choosing me as the perfect target for crazy explosion.  But back to the game.

We begin to play and I learn to peer through the fogginess (my curse of a short button nose!) or where I one hand my racquet and lift my glasses for a quick reprieve of every three seconds.  The game of racquetball is full of interesting and may I add "comical" noises.  I believe this is where comic book writers are inspired for their noises describing their combat sequences.  "Thwap!" "Boom!" *Whistling Missile* "Pow!" "Grrr!" "Ow!"   The last Ow that might just be me as that little blue bomb hits me in the shoulder. 

The great thing about racquetball is that you can hit the ball in any direction - Sides, back wall, front wall, floor, and ceiling count  . . . well at least in the version we played.  But I believe everyone else allows for the sides, back, and front wall.  The object of the game is to reach fifteen points.  You are allowed only one bounce before that satisfying smack sends the ball ricocheting around the room closely resembling a padded cell (without the padding) in an insane asylum. Even the door looks impossible to open from the inside as the "knob" nestles inside the door as to avoid injury in your quick pursuit to hit that little bouncing wonder. 

Usually, the game is played with two opponents facing off against each other in hopes of one winning.  We played a version more like the ball and walls/room were on one team and that my hubby and I were on another.  I tended to lob the ball against the wall after a double, triple, or quadruple bounce and then prayerfully cower as my husband would smash the daylights out of that little blue trajectile zooms leeringly at my head. 

Did I mention that I had a lot of fun?  Oh sure I am not ready for the olympics nor a real opponent but there is something satisfying about chasing down a specific target and then smacking it to smithereens watch it careen through the air and ricocheting off the ceiling and walls with intense but hilarious sound effects. 

Like I mentioned before this game mimics a lot of what is going on in our daily lives.  There is a lot of pursuit in our lives - being impressive at work, being available for our families,  seeking out opportunities to serve at church and in the community, while still trying to better our future opportunities by chasing them down.  We pray for moments where we can be a smashing success, make a little noise, and then walk away knowing we left everything on the court.  But we need to be wise in our pursuits because nothing is more frustrating than chasing the wind.  We think we are following God's will, we feel proud as we continue our noble pursuit, and then as we near the finish line we realized it was a mere illusion as the target appears to move further away always just inches beyond our grasp.

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to pursue noble dreams and satisfying goals. But if you do find those moments you are chasing the wind may they be filled with humor, loving support, and nuggets of wisdom. 'Til we meet again. . .  

You've Goat to be "kid"ding me!!!

   

courtesy of www.tagweed.com

 

 

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ...

 ---Matthew 25:31-46 ESV  

 

Last week was a week where you just hope to survive.  Rules are good but not dealbreakers.  Healthy eating probably not going to happen.  Clean house - a nice dream.  Happy home - sounds good on paper.  But those transition weeks are just overwhelming.  I ended my dream nanny job Tuesday and began my new job Thursday with a dr. appointment in between.  And I was worried that
I was going to be without a job for a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng period of time - pffft!  Funny how we worry about things that never come to light.  Then we complain about the things that we hoped would happen - at least that seems to be a common pattern of my life. 

Which also meant last week was a new childcare routine.  Oh the things I took for granted in life before being a mom - long showers, hot meals, quiet, and schedules.  Oh the nightmare of scheduling appointments, childcare, even spontaneous moments of fun need to be scheduled or they just don't happen :)  What was new about this childcare routine?  Besides church where I am actually in the building - I was leaving my baby with a care provider not directly related to me:(  For almost the first 22 months of life ( minus NICU and nursery) my son has been supervised by myself, hubby, or grandmas.  Oh how would we have survived without the grandmas I can't imagine!  But we needed to make a few changes with my new work schedule and that meant enlisting the help of a dear friend who is a fabulous mommy and my numero Uno pick if it couldn't be family. 

This meant a new location.  I have been to my friend's house several times, I had my GPS and texted directions and I still got lost.  I'm talking way lost!  I argued with the GPS - I closed out my texted instructions and I clung to bits of my memory to string together a path to their house.  Directions aren't my thing - but with an almost two year old in the car and the minutes ticking closer to my second day of work I had to pull it together and figure out a solution.  I decided to turn around and start from scratch.  And that's when I saw them.  It was one of those sights that you blink your eyes to see if you are so stressed that you are hallucinating.  Nope - definitely real.  I saw a pack of goats.  Not one not two.  But at least 20 goats skipping along merrily in someone's yard.  Not a farm but someone's yard.  And I'm thinking to myself - how lost am I that I am seeing goats? 

Oh it had been a week of highs and lows and just feeling completely overwhelmed.  Last Tuesday I stood there crying in my brother's office as I no longer would be a nanny for my fabulous nieces and nephews.  He is Mr. Sensitive when it comes to me and questions "Why are you crying - you are going to see them again - you're their aunt."  I know, but its different.  I won't hear the daily thoughts.  I won't hear about their crazy dreams at breakfast or why their moods changed or that their favorite color changed three times within a day.  On paper it might sound a bit strange or even the tiniest bit boring - but it is these little conversations that were like precious gems of our time together.  And my bidding them good-bye as they began school I was losing a job of comfort - being aware of the expectations, familiar surroundings and knowing for the most part the kids and their temperaments.  For I knew within two days new job with a clean slate - new environment, different kids, and piecing together what is expected.  It's challenging.  Somewhat taxing. And Extremely Overwhelming. 

There are new routines, new directions, and new expectations to be established and conveyed.  Working forty hour weeks was a new challenge and some of the housekeeping and organization duties went away for the summer.  This omission added to the chaos that led to my wandering of streets and stumbling upon the goats.  So after Friday it was time to establish a better foundation one that is strong and organized - not weak and cluttered from schedules, to household, to care of my family it was time to start.  I chose the pantry - I am going to disclose a picture - it is the START of clearing my pantry and my opportunity to establish order in what began to feel like an overwhelming ocean of chaos. 

You may be thinking "You've Goat to be "kid"ding me!!! " But this is truly 3/4 of my pantry!

 

It was time to reclaim my sanity and that meant start organizing my home once again.   You may see duplicate products.  We are running all the time to the grocery store forgetting lists and not knowing was was hidden in the pantry.  I took inventory of our freezer that is packed to full capacity - almost in need of a sign - "Open door at own risk!"  Insane!  Is the pantry all that needed an overhaul? No!  But it was striking a nail and helping me to reclaim my peace of mind with each pound of the hammer.    It took goats for me to see that I was lost but with a little help, a little time, and a little extra concentration I am going to forge my new path.  It's time to say farewell to chaos and reclaim my peace of mind.

 

May your HealthFULL Journey include peace of mind with little clutter to overwhelm you so that you too don't have to utter " You've Goat to be "kid"ding me!!! " 'Til we meet again. . .

 

Fully Dressed with a Smile

Two of my biggest blessings to smile about :)

" For the Mighty One has done great things for me ---holy is his name." ---Luke 1:49 NIV

Life is awesome right now! I am floating on Cloud 9 and can't stop SMILING!!!  In the last week I have had three separate compliments on my appearance - that I look good.  And my first thought is I haven't lost weight according to my scale or clothes.  So what's really different?  Then the lightbulb clicked and I realized I smile these days.  Also if I am being completely honest, I swagger (not wiggle and jiggle which is what happens when I lack confidence and forget to dress with a smile :)  I actually have confidence back because I have a goal - a purpose.  I can move full speed ahead because I am aware of my direction.  Can my journey throw me a surprise curve? Absolutely!  But at least having a goal leads to a path with a true direction instead of wandering aimlessly in circles throwing up my hands and shrugging - I don't know where I'm going or which direction to go.  Should I keep walking? Sit down? Give up? Cry?  Because on this HealthFULL Journey I have absolutely done that list. 



This is me preparing dinner - Braised Short Ribs

So why am I smiling?  Because this is the year I am going to truly lose this excess of 100+ pounds!  How do I know?  Three secrets - I'm claiming my life -meaning I am a true active participant in my decisions, my actions, and my results.  Some may think - aren't we all active in our own lives? The answer is No!  And I know this because I wasn't. I let others make my choices - little things like what do I want for lunch, what show do I want to watch, or what words are appropriate to say.  I don't want to hurt or offend anyone and that means Suzy's opinions get brushed under the rug due to my perception of others.  That's right my perception.  Which is not 100% accurate.  Which means I say or do not say certain opinions because I fear offending or hurting someone else's feelings without KNOWING if it will.  I am a pretty easy-going person - somewhat adaptable.  Most restaurants or meals I can figure out a solution to find something I enjoy or prefer eating and the same with television or movies or can suffer through an episode or two.  But there is a point of being easy-going and totally disappearing into the background as others live their lives around me and I just sit back and live theirs.  Nobody wants that.  How am I staking claim in my own life?  I am choosing my schedule for the most part. Obviously I discuss things with my husband as we are part of a pretty fabulous family unit.  But I am voicing things I think are important - like finding time to work out and a place that will hold me accountable (discuss this more in a moment :)  And I am cooking more for the family.  I am aware of the kitchen and how to actually cook foods and not just heat up a frozen pizza.  I need a little extra time to get organized and build some true cooking knowledge.  I am a beginner and I want to work towards champion status or at least a worthwhile competitor instead of a whiny ignorant novice that freaks out at the sight of the big box like appliance with knobs that spews heat with some hot rings on top.  (Or what most would call an oven/stove :) 

Next secret - getting organized!  See how I actually have the ingredients on the cupboard?  This is a new step for me.  I like to grab random bottles and then stash them away.  Before the meal is cooking our kitchen tends to look like a war zone and no one knows how to help me including myself because the scene is so overwhelming there seems to be no actual step that will make a true impact.  It would make a seasoned chef weep and raise hands in despair.  Also the next picture shows keys in a dishwasher.  You may also notice tiny fingers helping Mommy in that picture.  I have a twenty-one month old toddler quickly on the move.  I want the areas he plays or explores may be a better word to be safe and clean.  He also has started a fun game of let's hide things in random places - Example - keys in the dishwasher.  Had I not seen this happen I am not sure how long I would have looked for these keys.  Alright so I'm claiming my life and making sure it runs smoothly with organization (or at least progresses in a somewhat forward motion ) what's the final secret?

I've got a plan/purpose which is easier to accomplish with organization and that I am engaged in my own life.   What's the plan?  I am working part-time because being home with my son at this precious age means too much to me right now.  Well than why work?  Because we have some bills that need paying and I want to truly lose this cumbersome shell of extra weight.  How does a job help - it occurs at a health facility that promotes christian values, healthy physical lifestyle while also engaging our minds.  I have no excuse to not work out when I am going to be there five times a week - talk about accountability and scheduling myself for success.  That's my immediate plan but I also have bigger purposes to work towards that a physically fit version of myself will have better chance of success.  I want to be a mom again.  Well not that I stopped being one but we would love more children or at least one more :)  Would our son have been born premature had I been more physically fit?  Possibly.  Would I have had an easier pregnancy?  Most likely.  If I can make the next time around easier on both myself and our future child I think we both deserve me at least trying to improve the odds for success of a healthy pregnancy and delivery.  Also, I have felt called to ordained ministry - it is a lengthy fully involved process that I will have a lot of questions to answer on that journey and several deal with my health from all standpoints.  It is pretty hard to answer affirmatively I am in the best possible health when I carry so much excess baggage on my physical frame.  I want to be able to stand up in front of anyone and say I truly live a healthy life and not feel like a fraud.    So how do I move forward with my three secrets?

We all need a little R & R

Great way to refuel with a healthy snack

I go and live my life.  This means finding time to focus on all aspects of my life and not to conveniently skip over the complicated areas.  We as a couple need to find time for dates and to enjoy friendships outside of our trio of a family. But to also spend quality time outdoors or at least outside of our home doors - even if that means walking around the neighborhood more often.  It means that leisure activities not just focus around the dinner table.  For example a zoo outing that encourages family bonding while still walking and no eating.  Crazy - but possible :)  Why look we actually did do that just last weekend. Don't the bear and koala both looked pretty pleased with life as well almost as if they're fully dressed with a smile.

So many blessings are waiting to crowd our daily lives.  Sometimes we just have to open our eyes and acknowledge them with a smile.  Blessings in my life these days are almost too high to count but I would still like to share a few - two cute guys that greet me with a smile every morning,  amazing friends and family, a close connection to God, okay finances, a new job (which was a wonderful answer to a heartfelt prayer), a true purpose with guidance, hope, and time - time to continue learning, loving, and serving such an awesome God.  So you see why it's a lot easier to smile these days.

May your HealthFULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life) Journey point you towards your purpose that utilizes your talents, awakens your passion, and give you reason to be Fully Dressed with a Smile.  'Til we meet again. . .

Spreading the good news

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,

 faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. --- 1 Peter 4:10 NIV

My son has a joyful spirit.  He bumps his head and giggles.  He shrieks with delight when others laugh and play along.  And he smiles ....a LOT!  I wish I could take credit but this is his gift.  He loves life....he embraces the moment and without a word challenges you to laugh at the world too.  Drew teaches us to smile at what "now" can bring not what was or what will be but what right now can bring.  He does faces - he's learning to roll his eyes, muster a serious gaze, and show distress but still has a glint in the eye and tilt of the head to share a giggle after he is understood. He makes me want to do better.  To not miss an opportunity to graciously accept the blessings of today but to also seek those moments where I can share my gifts and hopefully add to the glory of God's kingdom. 

For three years I have been sharing on this blog my goal to get healthy. I started writing this in anticipation of the physical pounds just melting off my body.  Sure, I would write that its a journey and a process.  But in my hopes of hopes I thought within a year I would be sitting in my chair typing as my skinny version.  I did not know at that time that the weight I had been carrying wasn't all physical.  I toppled the scale with pounds of hurt, anger, resentment, grudges, disappointments, regrets, and worries - tons and tons of worries that not only piled on the pounds but bound them to my frame.  I had much work to complete, many life experiences to endure, and tons of challenges to conquer.  Many blessings have found our home and covered us in comforts, love, and much hope. Every area of my life has been touched, stretched, and improved in unmeasurable proportions.  But yet the weight remains an ugly picture to such a beautiful journey. 

So this weekend my hubby and I had one of those sincere heart to heart conversations where all the layers of politeness and untruths are left unraveled on the ground leaving only the purest, most sincere answers of honesty remained.  He dug and coached and pulled what I really hoped to accomplish this year.  And after many ----MANY resumes being sent to find that perfect job to replace the nanny job of mine with only five more days  left to work an e-mail requesting an interview found my inbox.  As of today I am re-employed with no days to celebrate my farewell to a summer I will always treasure as I embrace my new role as an afterschool counselor.  The best benefit besides the children I will meet and the work that will challenge me and allow me to share my gifts of education, entertainment, and encouragement I get a free gym membership. Not only do I get to share my faith but I get to be held accountable for my true goal of embracing my physical health.  It's time to get fit and trim.  God will use my strengths but even more impressive is that He will also build up my weakness.  One of my favorite verses is John 3:3 "He must become greater; I must become less."  It can be easy and its always fun to share our gifts and our strengths.  But sometimes the best thing we can do to prove God's awesome power is by showing our weakness and offering it to allow God the chance to display His greatness - for He is the Almighty.    

It was a special weekend for our family and I am blessed to have two amazing guys.  One to teach me the joys of life and one to challenge me to the purest desires of my heart so that I can be the best possible version of myself. 

May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life as you find joy in the here and now by being honest with yourself and sharing the gifts that only you can deliver. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Been Flyin' High

Jesus looked at themand said, "For mortals it is impossible, but not for God;

 for God all things are possible."  -Mark 10:27 NRSV



Flyin' High at Sky

Whoa!  It has been a week!!!  Full-time job and straight to the church to Fly High at SKY for our Vacation Bible School.  (The photo is our actual decorated Sanctuary as our Launchpad for Opening and Closing for every night!) 

I went back in time - sort of!  I revisited the memories of ten years right before I was married. The crazy schedules I kept - the energy and enthusiasm I had for life and how I would need to crash so that I could do it all again.  However, there are some differences. I have a fabulous hubby to vent which is more conveniently stashed in my house than a boyfriend halfway across the country or a state way (only a ten minute drive but a state boundary makes it sound more dramatic.)  I also have a much stronger alarm clock these days.  I remember the days of Snooze making a difference.  Now I peek at the Baby Alarm through one eye open with head on pillow and see if the scream level is at a 3 light or a 5 light on monitor.  3 might settle back into sweet snores.  A 5 red light means better hustle to my li'l one's room because we are ready to start the day.  A decade ago meant if I was home before midnight it was kind of an early night where these days I saw nine on my car's dashboard and I was hemming and hawing how late it got.

And the biggest difference I creak after a night of enthusiasm.  I used to work 3 jobs, perform in two different shows, carry on a long distant relationship, and still have time for friends while being active in church and still have energy to burn.  Ummm I was lucky if I could have a fifteen minute coherent conversation at night with my hubby without ooooh, owie, and uhhing through my painful creaks as my bones rattled and settled.  And I can't even describe the morning routine as I pulled myself to the shower in hopes that the water would moisten and in turn weaken the brittle pains.

And though this week was insane!!! Honestly, more than a tear or two was shed out of pure exhaustion. BUT I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Oh I missed tucking in my sweet boy and relaxing at night with amazing hubby.  *Breathes in deeply with great anticipation* *Sighing Exhale* I tapped into some precious memories and physically recalled my youth.  Forty minutes before VBS started I turned to my hubby with sheer terror "What have I agreed to?" I have been trying to nod with certainty, smile with confidence, and a playful giggle that I got this in the bag.  But with less than an hour to go I had horrible stage fright.  Do I remember how to corral kids in a fun entertaining way?  Can I actually perform with people around once again?  (I truly have became hermit-like in some ways and the thought of trying to entertain a crowd seemed foreign.)  My hubby looked me in the eye and calmly stated - "This isn't something people just forget - you can do this!"  Yup that is one of the many reasons I married this guy.  I am a roller coaster that brings excitement ( the fun and the challenges) and he is my carousel (smooth and steady and calming ;) And sure enough with one rough read of the hastily written script we were out onstage and .....it came back!

The skills, the talents, the experience, and the best part - THE THRILL!  Oh if you have ever performed and enjoyed it - you know what I am talking about.  That moment when the audience smiles because you delighted them - the chuckles as they decide to go for the ride - they're there because they see the sincerity in your choices.  It's like magic.....but even cooler - it was all God!  I used to perform and was good because I bled, sweated, and cried theatre.  But that passion faded as the years past and the skill wasn't practiced.  As I sat at my computer at work the abilities to interact with people, kids especially, drained away.  And then in an instant dose of VBS the Holy Spirit restored talents that I used to take for granted and for them being abandoned for so long came back with a flourish that only could be at God's Hand. One of the comments I received was a question that tugs at my heart - Did you do this in a past life?  I slowly nod even at the thought of that question.  Because it does feel a lifetime ago.  But it also still feels as amazing as it did then.

Anyone looking for a theatre instructor for elementary age kids? Or a permanent VBS leader year round? :)  No takers?  Well I'll find with God's help a purpose for this hodge podge of talents.

The above scripture I referenced is the the theme of the SKY VBS package which you can find more information at http://group.com/vbs/sky .  But it feels especially fitting to me as I remember this week.  My body was tired.  My emotions wrought of the woman I am today and the girl I was who had the confidence to utilize the skills needed.  My mental capacity overloaded as I switched from Mommy, Wifey, to Auntie Nanny to a VBS Music instructor.  And yet - with God's strength I received more compliments than I can recount and am truly humbled.  And compliments even for music of all things.  I remember in high school being assigned a solo in a musical and laughing out loud at the absurdity - I'm the girl who can't sing.  The director didn't laugh. And it hit me like a ton of bricks he was serious. . . and sixteen leaders I am actually teaching others the actions and music.  Life sure is funny - don't forget to laugh along the way :) 

So after my nightly three hour singing/dancing work out I am wondering what to do next week?  My nights sure are going to seem empty.  May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life with reminders of who you were and more importantly who you have grown to be.  Don't forget to laugh at life's jokes!  'Til we meet again. . .

It sure Ain't Easy, but it Sure is a lot of F-U-N!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

  according to His power that is at work within us, - Ephesians 3:20 NIV




What I Imagined. . .

What is. . .

I know why we aren't allowed to foresee our lives because we wouldn't take the necessary steps to move forward.  Are you familiar with The Dance by Garth Brooks?  The whole song is about how isn't it great life is left up to chance and choices and surprises then us handpicking our stories.  Why - because if we knew the endings we wouldn't take the beginning steps.  And without that first step because of fear of the ending we would miss too many stories, too many opportunities, too many lessons, and too many precious memories.  We are conditioned to avoid pain.  Do you believe me?  Think of the next time you have to endure something painful - handling paper after paper cut, a shot/vaccine, washing out a wound, touching something hot. How do we respond -  we flinch, we pull away, we hesitate - we react in ways that show caution and hopefully steps that will help us avoid further pain. 

Today was a rough day.  I have decided that torture is trying to put two babies to sleep simultaneously.  Parents of twins - I salute you!  Granted I took a misstep that I will avoid to lessen my chances of repeating this painful scenario.  I forgot my son's stuffed Lion.  It happens, right?  My husband and I are fortunate parents we have a pretty easy-going sweet child (so much more his daddy's son - I just benefit :)  Oh holy Toledo Batman!  This child went ballistic, hysterical, and drove me to tears.  For 46 minutes out of fifty - he screamed, he cried, he pitched the tantrum of tantrums today.  He is twenty months old and obviously does not believe he is capable of a nap without his best buddy!  What was even worse? The three year old was actually trying to "nap".  Usually her and I go toe to toe, but not today!  Today I was locked in the battle of wills - would a nap commence.  I sang, I rocked, I cuddled, I tightened hug, I cooed, I whispered, I giggled, I paced, and my son SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAMED in my ear, near the quiet three year old.  I finally walked through the house as the other kids were on lock-down while we tried to create a peaceful, quiet, almost serene naptime area for the two youngest.  Sadly, the toddlers missed the memo.  Not one but two children asked why aren't the two youngest asleep yet.  Great question!  And I not had a obnoxious piercing scream destroying my hearing abilities I believe I could have answered more wisely or at least more patiently.  However I sputtered out with dripping sarcasm, "I Don't Know!"  Losing my mind!!!  We returned to the recliner to once again commence naptime.  The tantrum began, the screaming escalated into short breaths of hyperventilation and mutterings of a desperate prayer - breathing deepened, limbs relaxed, and utter exhaustion took hold of both children. 

It would be easy to run my victory lap - I did it - both toddlers are resting at the same time!!! Amazing right?  But it was God's abilities and my willingness to concede defeat.  In our weakness God shows His Glory.  I like to be the best.  I like to attain almost perfect scores and everything to be precise and if I am going to accomplish something I want to knock out a homerun the first time at bat.  Can we all hit a Hole-In-One?  Absolutely!  Can we do it our first time swinging the golf club? Doubtful, but possible.  Will we accomplish this goal every time we tee-off?  Nope.  Should we stop golfing altogether?  Not really. . .We miss those chances to be great because we don't want to risk the ending of failing of hitting rock-bottom. 

I worked for a good company before becoming a nanny.  They were beyond generous and supportive through my schooling, working a second job, and my pregnancy and the challenging beginning days of my son.  But I stayed too long at the office job that I was qualified to do but not passionate to improve.  It wasn't my calling and I knew that far before I handed in my resignation.  But it was comfortable and as I said a great place to work.  They took care of me.  But I began to suffocate and I leapt at the chance to be nanny.  Let me get this straight you want me to hang out and play games with five awesome kids where I can also bring my son to play.  Uhhh Yes please!  I imagined weekly trips to the library, daily adventures through our imagination, never skipping a devotion as we clamored together to share in God's Word.  Ummmm well we have done some of that.  I thought there would be lots of giggles and smiles and fun.  We sometimes laugh and have fun but there is a lot of the backstory I quickly edited from my plans - the bickering, the tantrums, the sulking, the pouting, the fights, the name-calling, the anger, the sadness, the - well you get the point.  It is downright taxing.  And its easy to get caught up in the frustrations - they tend to spurn each other. 

But then whats even better than my imagined version of gumdrops, lolli-pops and oozing sweet pictures of working with children bliss are those quiet moments.  The moment where my son curls into the lap of his oldest cousin.  The squeals of delight from their youngest as their middle child chases her with enthusiasm.  As the whole group deliberates and discusses the most strategic puzzle placement.  The boys reaching a peace treaty to play fairly. 

I wouldn't trade it.  Oh don't get me wrong if you had flashed the emotions and the daily energy withdrawals required by this job I would probably run for the hills.  But for every frustration, every drop of sweat, and every tear shed - I have at least five smiles and giggles upon giggles of what I've learned, witnessed, and been blessed by.  And this is all possible - because I admitted to God - though I was okay at the office job I was weak in passion.  He answered my prayer with a powerful response that maxed out my passion, my energy, and my talents and all he required a step of faith.  Its okay to take that first step without knowing the last - actually its better than okay its what we are supposed to do.  We are tempted to wait for those "perfect" moments but then we get caught waiting as precious blessings float right by.  Be encouraged!  A step of faith may not guarantee perfection but it sure is a lot of F-U-N!

May your HealthFULL Journey be adventurous, full of Faith, and surrounded by F-U-N. 'Til we meet again . . .    



Its not that Health is on the backburner. . .

Its just that there are so many hours in the days!

"So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart." - Psalms 90:12

What do you think? Do we like the logo - or not?

I try! I can not emphasize this statement enough - I try!  I want to be a great mom. A good wife. An awesome Christian.  A wise entrepreneur.  A fun nanny. A sweet daughter. A bubbly friend. An inspirational blogger.  And some days I can hit one or even two of those titles.  But a majority of the time I feel overwhelmed, under-prepared, and pretty much a babbling crazy loon!  And that tends to be the good days :)  No its not that bad....all the time....just some of the time. Part of the problem is I have issues with real concepts vs imaginary ideals on paper concepts.  On paper I can budget to the penny or schedule every one of my "duties" and responsibilities with time to spare for "me" time.  However, in reality the baby doesn't wake up when I pencil in the start of his morning routine.  The traffic in real life never factors in my on paper schedule to be smooth going and no accidents!  And budgeting - let's just say I am using the ads of the 1980's and freak out every time I see a "real" price tag.  What? Bread costs more than a dollar?  A 2 liter bottle of pop costs more than seventy-five cents?  Stop this nonsense right now!    

So what happens?  I do the best I can - its all that any of us can do, right?  We plug along and try to accomplish what we can accomplish in a day.  I was ecstatic for this adventure to become a nanny.  It has blessed me every day - countless times a day - it also has exhausted my mental capabilities - my physical endurance (and this insane heat has not helped!) - and my emotional state swings like a pendulum from the extremes - but we push through, right?  We muddle, we smile, and we hope and pray.  In the free time I try to grow my idea into a business.  So far no takers at www.awriteword.org but I continue to putter around with advertising and the site.  *tweak* *chisel* Think, think, think . . . I send out resumes left and right and left and right.  As I look at the calendar and notice four weeks until my nanny gig is finished.  Its easy at the beginning of a journey or adventure to step out in faith and good spirits.  But as the calendar ticks by my nerves begin to twitch!  I know God has a plan and I can't wait to see what direction we go - but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a tish nervous!!! 

We have lost the art of the truth in covering up our imperfections.  Oh no I am fine!  We've got plenty of time to finish that project! You look great!  I feel awesome - no these bags under my eyes are just a color palette trick I'm playing - you think they make me look tired - Not at all *yawn* and on an on we spin these tall tales, white lies, little fibs to push through our maniac schedules.  But in the end what is the point of the craziness?  Does my son feel less loved because he had frozen chicken tenders, again?  Did the world stop because I haven't blogged in over a week? You get the picture.  I don't mean to advocate we should all give up our responsibilities.  It is good to be organized and dependable.  But it is also important to acknowledge our human attributes and admit - I am not having a streak of perfection.  However, I can report I am doing the best I can.  I try to find sneaky ways to exercise (whatever you can knock out the earliest is so beneficial - it allows the rest of the day to be bonus :)  We continue to plan our meals - which is a lifesaver repeatedly.  This simple fifteen minutes of truly assessing your pantry bounty and scouring the sales ads two times a week - saves you money, time, and headaches/heartaches. 

I can state that although life feels crazy and my eyes begin to close earlier and earlier with less and less on my to do list crossed off - I am Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be a time to embrace your FULL health to create your best version of yourself so that you too can Feel Unbelievable and Love Life! 'Til we meet again. . .

Encouraging Words Dear Friends

 I know you're my friend, because we've laughed and we've cried - together!

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.  - John 15:13

Time moves quickly and life gets busy.  I think we all know that a little too well.  We count reading a FB status or a Tweet as staying in touch with loved ones.  A quick text is common to communicate family whereabouts.  And not seeing a person you live with for a day or two, is becoming a bit too common.  We forget how as humans we crave that comforting touch or harbor such a passionate desire to hear words of encouragement from those we cherish - and a text just doesn't satisfy those urgings.

I've learned I have a real problem with perfection-itis because I crave those pats on the head letting me know I'm a good girl!

Two days ago was my hubby's and my nine year anniversary.  It went semi-unnoticed from most people including us. We had some obligations and plan to have a grown-up date Saturday night.  Well one of those commitments was a church gathering.  Could we have missed? Sure!  Would people have minded all that much? Probably not.  But as I am cruising on a Health FULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life - Yep this acronym has changed for the better :) Journey; I have come to realize how important it is to keep real relationships with people past our immediate family that include true connections that extend past the computer or phone screens. And when we met with this group we had a task of creating a bookmark - a simple beautiful bookmark.  Let me correct that - It LOOKS simple.  Oh my perfectionist side came out and she is a bit intense and slightly bitter.  I for the life of me could not complete that task in what I felt was a timely manner.  And though we are trying to complete this project - I missed the true reason of the night - I missed the connection of friends -those moments where you share your happiness and your challenges. 

These last couple of days (and sort of weeks) have been a wonderful reminder of how friends can turn my frowns upside down. I would like to share a few :)

That Thursday night I received a call around 11:30 at night.  Who calls this late?  Those who matter who usually have something important to share.  It was a call from my oldest friend - I am 31 and our friendship has lasted almost twenty-seven years.  Its a call worth taking.  She has some things going on but that's not why she really called.  She just needed to chat.  She needed to shoot the breeze and escape from the intense moments suffocating her life.  She needed to hear that life was carrying on outside of their family's heartache.  A reminder that normalcy may one day return.  She needed that time and so did I.

Yesterday (Friday morning)  I went to work as a nanny.  Many mornings the kids come running out the door to greet me, especially if they know I am bringing my son.  But not a peep - not crazy because the morning was already looking a bit dreary.  I climb the steps to the house that appears semi-dark and open the door to a loud resounding perfectly group of five children shouting HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!  (For a moment I felt like I accidently ruined the surprise for someone's surprise party and realized the enthusiastic orchestrated moment was indeed for me - a day late which may be why it was such a SURPRISE, but still it was very touching :) 

Friday night I texted back and forth with a friend from middle school - We are months shy of hitting our 20 year friendship anniversary mark - wow the significance of my hubby's and my nine year seems to be dwindling quickly :) 

In our brief exchange we shared words about our relationship - triggered high school memories - and commented on the women we are today.  I'm not against texting as it may have sounded early in this blog - but this exchange was a bit sweeter and more current as I did just see her for the first time in three years just over a week ago.  We actually hugged, smiled, and our children played together all in the same room - it was fabulous!!! And a poignant reminder - its nice to have tons of FB friends to share the highlight reel of our lives - but nothing like a true friend with a REAL connection - that not only includes the highlight reel but the backstory, the outline that made this all come to be and the complete story with added commentary.

And dispersed among the stories shared I have received several messages that I wasn't quite expecting - aren't those sometimes the best words to hear/read?  When you see you have an e-mail or FB message there is a good chance you are expecting a reply from someone or the close circle of friends you expect to drop you a line.  But no I had not one but two messages from people that I have shared significant moments with but as friendships tend to do over time have faded.  It's nice to be remembered and encouraged.  I can't express what a blessing they were and how they both touched my heart  to read these words from these special people That's why I picked the opening scripture I did.  Yes sacrificing your life for another is the greatest gift but we only one of those that we can do.  I also like to read this scripture verse as a reminder - that we can daily lay our life down for others.  Would I have liked to go to bed instead of picking up the phone to chat. Possibly I was pretty tired - but my friend needed time and a listening ear - I've been in that spot.  When you already are feeling down and can't get someone on the phone doesn't that crush your spirit just a bit harder?  It does mine. Did the kids have to wish my a happy anniversary? No the day had passed but the extra effort and the sweet intention with such enthusiasm was more touching than a passing almost obligatory congrats.  Connecting with an old friend is always a gift.  But it took coordination, money, time, and lots of effort on both ends to arrange that long-overdue visit :)  And those extra words probably didn't take hours but mere minutes to send my way - but they will warm my heart for quite awhile. 

We forget the little things do matter.  Its okay to take shortcuts now and then (a text, an e-mail) but we as humans do need to lay down our lives - our "busyness" and take time for what really matters to truly share our lives, our time with those who matter.  Because it is in those moments we build, strengthen, and protect our relationships.

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with heartwarming moments as you and those you love take time to lay down your lives for one another. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Gettin' Down to Business



http://www.clker.com/clipart-2225.html

And you show that you are a letter of Christ, prepared by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.  2 Corinthians 3:3

Life has been busy.  But if it wasn't busy - it wouldn't be life!  Crazy I know.  I'm lovin' life and truly exhausted but in the past week I thought hey lets add some extra fun which I really mean to translate to stress.  Yup stress!  I have decided to create my own business and see what that entails.  I am so excited to share with you my concept - please visit www.awriteword.org to get the full picture. Do you freak out at the thought of having to make a toast or you want to personalize your child's birthday invitations but don't know what to say?  Visit my site where we help you say what you mean with the rights for your special occasions.  There are a lot of how-to kind of sites.  But at my site we don't talk AT you - we collaborate WITH you!

Honestly, I am nervous of failure.  But I am tired of having regrets because too many times I have retreated at the mere thought of failure.  Oh my critic has been yelling non-stop for a week.  This can't work.  There will be too many hiccups.  What if no one hires you?  What if your site crashes? What if *Blah blah blah*!!! So often by the third downer debbie comment from my inner critic I shut down.  But not this time.  This time I seized the day and created a web site.  Was it easy? No.  Was it fun? Sometimes. . . Was it exhausting - A RESOUNDING YES!!! Would I do it again?  Absolutely!

I have learned quite a few lessons on the way in my first full week of starting a business.  My top five lessons or experiences of starting the website. 

#1 - Run the idea by some sane people.  When you are a dreamer like me you should check it with the family and friends you trust.  Sure you may here a critique here or there (and not always strictly limited to your concept.  When you ask for advice beware the gloves may come off and the words may begin to fly. You've been warned!) There is a lot to describe and design. You DON'T have to take every reply as the end-all of the whole project but a diverse crowd gives you a sampling of how the public may view this idea.  Honestly I thought there would be more protests or dreamer wisecracks.  But actually all of my friends and family have been incredibly supportive.  Shocking that those I consider close want to support me :)  I was expecting more protest but have heard a lot of encouragement.  "Interesting concept" - "Intriguing Idea" tend to be the top-runners of the comments.  It's like the world is going silent and people are grabbing their popcorn and drinks and getting comfy.  Will this or won't this idea work? As a hush falls over the crowd their are slight murmurs.  "I don't know if this idea will work but I would love to see the underdog survive to fight another day".  A few people may be ready to see the big fall - but I feel the love of so many others who are ready to applaud. 

#2 -  Since no one convinced me I was beyond crazy for trying this idea I went to www.godaddy.com and purchased a couple of website addresses.  My husband and I had talked about this possibility and there is no time like the present to start.  Then it was time to find a website designer.  I didn't want to pay for a design but then I remembered - I know VERY little about computers.  Enough to type and play games and read my e-mail.  This may surprise you but I d not speak computer code.  It didn't take long to realize that purchasing a web design wouldn't be all that bad of an idea.  I ended up www.Wix.com and www.intuit.com.  Both sites offered a free domain with differrent levels of participation.  Which would have been beneficial before I actually clicked on my first purchase to build this business.  Live and learn, right?

#3 - When you think you have said all you can on the website or that I have reached the elite status of finished through my templates design.  There's more - more to say, more to do, just more - a lot more.  There seems to always be a couple of loose ends to change to tie the whole system together or reach a resolution.  It may be my personal business and some might call me the boss. It tends to feel like the computer may be office manager who doesn't take any excuses or laziness.  So I describe the product, the process, my personal biography.  I flip through images repeatedly.  I lay out words and pictures and hope and pray it is worthwhile.  You begin to type in a zone Again wishing to complete this new adventure and go fishing - but I don't. . . at least not yet!

#4 - Keep the body fine-tuned.  Maybe the rule should read "You should keep the body fine-tuned".I have gotten back on diet soda - a lot!!!  Also chips have been doing the rounds.  And by rounds I mean mouth to mouth - to the hip And sleep - Next question!!! Even now my eyes drop close together in a burrowed brow.

#5 - Sink or Swim ?  It's not easy to say world give me your best shot because every attempt can be the move to stop the company. Or more likely the non-movement - without customers, without advertising - but without their input.  A Write Word.org could be an amaing success or a wild flop.  *Fingers crossed* for the former.  But at the end of the day I can rest my head on my pillow knowing I did all I could - Sink or Swim .  Let's hope for  a swim!