Encouraging Words Dear Friends

 I know you're my friend, because we've laughed and we've cried - together!

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.  - John 15:13

Time moves quickly and life gets busy.  I think we all know that a little too well.  We count reading a FB status or a Tweet as staying in touch with loved ones.  A quick text is common to communicate family whereabouts.  And not seeing a person you live with for a day or two, is becoming a bit too common.  We forget how as humans we crave that comforting touch or harbor such a passionate desire to hear words of encouragement from those we cherish - and a text just doesn't satisfy those urgings.

I've learned I have a real problem with perfection-itis because I crave those pats on the head letting me know I'm a good girl!

Two days ago was my hubby's and my nine year anniversary.  It went semi-unnoticed from most people including us. We had some obligations and plan to have a grown-up date Saturday night.  Well one of those commitments was a church gathering.  Could we have missed? Sure!  Would people have minded all that much? Probably not.  But as I am cruising on a Health FULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life - Yep this acronym has changed for the better :) Journey; I have come to realize how important it is to keep real relationships with people past our immediate family that include true connections that extend past the computer or phone screens. And when we met with this group we had a task of creating a bookmark - a simple beautiful bookmark.  Let me correct that - It LOOKS simple.  Oh my perfectionist side came out and she is a bit intense and slightly bitter.  I for the life of me could not complete that task in what I felt was a timely manner.  And though we are trying to complete this project - I missed the true reason of the night - I missed the connection of friends -those moments where you share your happiness and your challenges. 

These last couple of days (and sort of weeks) have been a wonderful reminder of how friends can turn my frowns upside down. I would like to share a few :)

That Thursday night I received a call around 11:30 at night.  Who calls this late?  Those who matter who usually have something important to share.  It was a call from my oldest friend - I am 31 and our friendship has lasted almost twenty-seven years.  Its a call worth taking.  She has some things going on but that's not why she really called.  She just needed to chat.  She needed to shoot the breeze and escape from the intense moments suffocating her life.  She needed to hear that life was carrying on outside of their family's heartache.  A reminder that normalcy may one day return.  She needed that time and so did I.

Yesterday (Friday morning)  I went to work as a nanny.  Many mornings the kids come running out the door to greet me, especially if they know I am bringing my son.  But not a peep - not crazy because the morning was already looking a bit dreary.  I climb the steps to the house that appears semi-dark and open the door to a loud resounding perfectly group of five children shouting HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!  (For a moment I felt like I accidently ruined the surprise for someone's surprise party and realized the enthusiastic orchestrated moment was indeed for me - a day late which may be why it was such a SURPRISE, but still it was very touching :) 

Friday night I texted back and forth with a friend from middle school - We are months shy of hitting our 20 year friendship anniversary mark - wow the significance of my hubby's and my nine year seems to be dwindling quickly :) 

In our brief exchange we shared words about our relationship - triggered high school memories - and commented on the women we are today.  I'm not against texting as it may have sounded early in this blog - but this exchange was a bit sweeter and more current as I did just see her for the first time in three years just over a week ago.  We actually hugged, smiled, and our children played together all in the same room - it was fabulous!!! And a poignant reminder - its nice to have tons of FB friends to share the highlight reel of our lives - but nothing like a true friend with a REAL connection - that not only includes the highlight reel but the backstory, the outline that made this all come to be and the complete story with added commentary.

And dispersed among the stories shared I have received several messages that I wasn't quite expecting - aren't those sometimes the best words to hear/read?  When you see you have an e-mail or FB message there is a good chance you are expecting a reply from someone or the close circle of friends you expect to drop you a line.  But no I had not one but two messages from people that I have shared significant moments with but as friendships tend to do over time have faded.  It's nice to be remembered and encouraged.  I can't express what a blessing they were and how they both touched my heart  to read these words from these special people That's why I picked the opening scripture I did.  Yes sacrificing your life for another is the greatest gift but we only one of those that we can do.  I also like to read this scripture verse as a reminder - that we can daily lay our life down for others.  Would I have liked to go to bed instead of picking up the phone to chat. Possibly I was pretty tired - but my friend needed time and a listening ear - I've been in that spot.  When you already are feeling down and can't get someone on the phone doesn't that crush your spirit just a bit harder?  It does mine. Did the kids have to wish my a happy anniversary? No the day had passed but the extra effort and the sweet intention with such enthusiasm was more touching than a passing almost obligatory congrats.  Connecting with an old friend is always a gift.  But it took coordination, money, time, and lots of effort on both ends to arrange that long-overdue visit :)  And those extra words probably didn't take hours but mere minutes to send my way - but they will warm my heart for quite awhile. 

We forget the little things do matter.  Its okay to take shortcuts now and then (a text, an e-mail) but we as humans do need to lay down our lives - our "busyness" and take time for what really matters to truly share our lives, our time with those who matter.  Because it is in those moments we build, strengthen, and protect our relationships.

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with heartwarming moments as you and those you love take time to lay down your lives for one another. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Mizpah

It was also called Mizpah, because he said,

"May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other."

Genesis 31:49

Do you crave silence to truly feel the moment?  Do you crave that connection between you and something bigger, someone important, yourself, or that peace the only God can give?  Its hard today to remove yourself from the noise and excitement of your surroundings.  It is common to hear the whir of electronics and fans especially here in the South. It feels borderline insane to turn off our cell phones. It is just too easy to flip on a radion, television, or computer for connection or even background noise (and let's be honest - some of us flip on all three :)  Even typing these words on the computer I have the music station "The Spirit" playing in the background and a fan whirring over my head. With another ear perked for sounds of my sleeping toddler. 

But two nights ago I sat in silence.  I am reading the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.  It is an interesting book that I picked up at the library because I am a woman who enjoys food and certainly loves God.  One of the activities she mentions is a twenty minute meditation to connect basically with your gut/stomach.  I had recently discussed with my pastor I don't take time to be silent with God.  And when I do take the time to sit down with the complete intention to be silent.  I end up turning the time into a prayer gab fest that then mutates into a random to-do list.  So with those thoughts I told myself it was time to be silent with God.  It was late and my hubby and my son were already submerged into their dreams.  I grabbed the kitchen timer.  The book mentioned twenty minutes but as it was late I didn't want silence to turn into my snoring and elected ten minutes.  I climbed the stairs and left the light on above the stairs.  Grabbed some pretty colorful yarn (a suggestion borrowed from the book) to create a space for me to meet God one on one.  I wrapped the yarn around my seated posture and realized my yarn could have been a tish longer and/or more honestly, that I still have some work to do on my bum size.  All in good time right?  Patience remains a virtue :)   

So here I sit, ready to be silent and meditate on wherever, however God wanted to meet me.  And almost instantly I could appreciate the silence that surrounds me. I could feel my breath connecting to my body.  Slowly, I began to breathe.  Time passes and I feel rejuvenated and then the lists began to form.  Words came to mind to share in this blog entry.  To-do lists started to organize as one thought connected to another.  And quickly I shushed my mind's ramblings.  The book suggests to focus on a repetitive word and when the mind starts to race shut it down by counting seven deep breaths.  I began my counting - one deep breath in and release.  Two - the breath fills the stomach even deeper and exhale nice and long.  Three the breath relaxes me and the departure of breath is let go through a yawn.  Four - five - six and on seven I choose to use the word Mizpah.

I love the comfort of that word.  It was great for a breathing word. Inhale on Miz - exhale on -pah.  Soothing that word flows through the body as it brings images of comfort and connection.  A wonderful feeling as I sink into this silent union with God.  And then I don't know the distraction - a stray thought a physical brush of discomfort and the union is broken as thoughts collide and crash through my mind.  What will I write? How can I share this moment?  What is my schedule tomorrow? Do I have to gather anything tonight? Any food to prep for tomorrow's menu?  Oh don't forget to fold the laundry. Should I do another load tomorrow and eek I wanted to sweep and vacuum tonight but then I didn't. But oh I am going to regret not having that done and yadda yadda yadda.  ENOUGH! ONE - deep dramatic breath in and hasty exhale to clear the clamoring words. 

I would count up to three and start to feel the prayers and thoughts and noises crawling around seeking entrance.  I would start the count over maybe hit the count of four and again the thoughts begin to whirl begging for attention.  By now I want to open my eyes and just peek at the timer.  There is no way it hasn't been ten minutes.  The timer must be broken.  And again INHALE - EXHALE - one. IN- OUT - two, miz pah three - miz. . . pah four....m-i-z . . . p-a-h. . . f-i-v-e; in-hale deep and ex-hale long - six and Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah seven.  Back to silence ready to just be with God.  Who knows how much time passed in the end maybe a minute (or ten seconds :)  and the timer begins to chirp.  And once again I return to my noisy reality.  With promises to God that I will return once again in silence - because everyone needs a chance to speak and for that to happen we must be willing to listen.

May your HealthFULL Journey include time to appreciate the silence and build you up so that you can take on the world full of noise. 'Til we meet again. . .