Blech! I started the morning not so great. I had what I call an attack. They are rare but they seem to be picking up in frequency. What is scary is I thought the ER, my doctor, and I had tackled the cause for these attacks. However two more have occurred. Double blech! That's the frustrating part (and if I am honest the terrifying fear of the unknown). It was one of these attacks that happened at work that made me wait in the ER for seven hours and quit denying I have diabetes. My blood sugar was way out of whack and the attack seemed to be caused by an overtly high blood sugar. Not so much anymore as I follow a sensible diet (with treats included- I said sensible - not strict :) But I always montior my blood sugar and I am on some medication and working out. I am nowhere near the blood sugar spikes that I believed caused these so-called attacks.
When I describe an attack it is like a horrible gut wrenching stomach cramp knotting itself over and over usually awakening me out of a deep sleep. (If an alien popped through my belly button during this pain I would not be surprised!) Then my hands become flames of fire doused in itching powder. What a cruel joke! Hands that itch horribly and then to touch them is like touching myself with a lit match. Then I become lightheaded and almost want to faint because as I become lightheaded I become incredibly nauseous and not that the world spins as much as I am trying to walk on my floor as if it were a tilt a whirl. And then the sweats. Gross! Like I decided to run six miles. Except I have walked maybe five feet and sit down before the dizzies take over. Also my heart starts to pound but that might be me just freaking out about all that is going on. And the only way to get through this episode that lasts an hour is to get cool immediately. I am talking sitting directly under a high powered fan or jumping into ice cold bath. Ice cold! Like lets turn on the tap just enough to get full stream water but ice cold! And then for the rest of the day I just feel out of sorts. Weird, scary, and I don't like it.
Today was my first attack where I was home by myself with my son. Oh how I did miss my knight in shining armor or we could also call him my hubby. But thankfully, God had the attack happen early enough that my son was asleep through most of it and I could deal with him when I regained a bit of my strength. I wish we had more naptime today but we managed. I will admit I won't win stellar mom of the year awards from today but at least we were both alive and smiling when my hubby arrived home from work with an arsenal of creature comforts: liquids, medicine, and energy to watch our son. The perfect trio in my book. I crashed for a couple of hours and woke up with that where am I feeling? That nap that was so hard you aren't quite sure if it is morning or night and without the clock couldn't guess if you slept for ten minutes or four hours.
But I have slowly regained feeling me again. New day is on the horizon. And though these attacks aren't fun. And kind of concerning, I refuse to be afraid of the what ifs. The most important aspect is not to panic. At least I recognize a pattern to these moments and have an appointment on the books to see my doctor. But until then we live one day at a time, moment by moment. I got knocked down today but I am ready to get up again swinging!
May your HealthFULL Journey never be more than you can handle but challenging enough to help you grow. You may get knocked down a time or two but may you always have enough strength to get back up again.. 'Til we meet again. . .
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