Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Squeezing in

So often our lives our overflowing: schedules jam-packed, ever-growing to - do lists, and the overflowing belly which some may call muffintop.  And what's crazy? We do it to ourselves.  We say yes a million times over - we add things to do on our list and we watch as we loosen the belts.  Priorities are an amazing tool.  Sure have a to do list let it be miles long but know when we need to drop the list and live.  When a friend calls, when a baby coughs, when we are falling ill - those are the moments that aren't scheduled but are usually the hours that truly matter.  A lot on our schedules is to help others we say. Or is it our pride?  Is it that we want to be super impressive.  Maybe I shared this before but years ago I had a professor tell me that. I was giving him a million excuses why homework was missing or why I didn't study (the course if you are curious was Greek) and he said that we don't say no because we are too proud.  I think about that a lot.  I like to dress up my reasons as beneficial to those around me.  But I like the accolades and the look of awe when I pull off the amazing -  but that is only the rare occasion.  Usually what happens is not everything can get done and if it is - not very well.  So isn't it better for everyone if I say yes to what really matters?  I thought so.  Health became a big priority.  For October it was center stage and I was rewarded in so many ways. I feel rested.  I feel calmer instead of intense mood swings.  and Energy - oh how I have missed that feeling.  Between the high blood sugar and being a new mom (with an almost one year old - where did that time go???)  I just ran out of steam.   I felt like I had to be perfect and squeeze into the model form of perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect aunt, perfect daughter, perfect friend, perfect worker, and just felt pulled apart. No one else demanded this of me.  No one asked me to be different because I had a child in my life.  Will a child change you?  Absolutely!   But I haven't been adapting to changes but demanding myself to be different.  What is stressing me now?  A cake.  Crazy right?  My son turns one this week and I want to bake him the perfect cake. I'm not really a baker.  He won't remember this birthday but I feel I fail as a mom if I can't create a birthday cake from scratch and mold it into a football or helmet or Drew Brees (we're Saints fans :) And slowly my hubby has talked me off the crazy ledge and bought me cake mixes.  He is encouraging me to make my own frosting if I feel I must create.  But in the end - will I be burned at the stake because I buy frosting.  No.  See here is where I need to mark the priorities on the to - do list.  What is more important to my son.  That I avoid him for four hours stressing over the perfect cake?  (Which he will have a small portion - not understand why I baked it or really what it is).  Or that I cuddle with him and play and sing.  He won't remember either choice.  But I will.  And I know what version will mean more to me. So to those eating the cake I apologize for my lack of perfection.  But I refuse to keep squeezing every perfect detail into my life.  The good news is that when you choose your priorities instead of them running YOU down;  the good stuff happens.  No longer am I squeezing into my jam packed schedule, running myself ragged with to do lists , and less fighting the belt.  I actually fit into most of my clothes in my closet.  This is a fun feat.  There have been six pairs of jeans that I would guiltily look through when pushing the hangers.  I can easily pull on two pair and squeeze into two until an inch away from the last breathbut I am not focusing on the pairs I can only squeeze in.  Priorities help us to remember what truly matters.

May your HealthFULL Journey not be a race that you have to squeeze into the audience just to feel included.  May it be a moment to take in the sights, enjoy what is important, and feel lucky to finally LIVE.  'Til we meet again. . .

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