"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you
to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."-Ephesians 4:1
Two months climbing quickly to three since I've shared my journey. It has been a little crazy. But wonderful. And challenging. And overwhelming. And blessed. And awkward. And demanding. And perfect. And joyous. And rewarding. And humbling.
So much has happened. I officially finished my first semester of seminary. Completed Disciple 1. Preached. And played with the cute toddler featured above without guilt and overlooked obligations. Its challenging to be a mom. Its challenging to be a student. Its challenging to be a candidate for ordination. And I am blessed with family willing to help especially my amazing husband who supports me always. But you know the biggest challenge to be human.
Everyday we each are given twenty-four hours to live daily. We make our to-do lists we feel the weight of our obligations and for the most part try to conquer our lists according to our goals using our strength. For whatever reason we forget, we hesitate, we don't want to bother God and invite Him to our daily lives.
But when we remember to invite God into our daily lives AND ask for His input, His guidance, and His Will - aren't those the best days we live? On paper I thought it would be awesome to preach my first "truly adult" sermon ( I preached once when I was nineteen but it was all about me and left very little discussion about God) the Sunday after I completed my first semester of seminary. In reality I had lost my mind. In just under 6 days (because of my gift for procrastination) I had a ten page paper to write plus a presentation on the same topic, two finals to study for, and a sermon to write while still being a full time mom and wife. Because of God's Grace, child's cooperation, and the gift of help from my entire family all of the work was done. Humbled beyond recognition I was able to move on with life feeling accomplished and blessed. And my reward was the opportunity to truly embrace two weeks in the moment. Usually I carry burdens of guilt, unworthiness, anxiety, and the syllabus for each class in hopes to accomplish work before the procrastination settles in for a nice long stay.
But not these past few weeks. It was about making those memories with my son. He still is young and probably won't remember these moments. But I will and they are opportunities for him to learn, to experience, to move beyond the familiar and escape the talons of comfort. I once again look for ways to improve my state of health physically so I purposefully looked for opportunities to leave our house and encourage movement. We visited a lot of parks, the library playroom, and just enjoyed our own backyard. My sweet boy had the time of his life with giggles and smiles as he got to run and play. Everyday his communication increases along with his curiosity and wonder. He is learning empathy. I received a splinter on my foot while we visited a park and I shouted Ow! He stopped climbing the slide and ran over to me to check on my "Ow?" He is learning to connect and show affection independently. I was watching a Yoga video. He sat down and started to mimic me and the DVD. There is a point where you are to close your eyes. and stretch out your hands. While I shut my eyes briefly he tenderly reached for my hand and held it for 10 seconds. Which for a toddler might as well of been an hour. Then a little bit later the DVD told us to breathe with an O shaped mouth with eyes closed. Out of his curiosity he stuck his finger in my mouth. The first moment of holding hands was beautiful and touching. The surprise of the finger was awkward and shocking. But regardless that true quality time reminded me of more blessings than I can count that I get to experience in my everyday life. My precious son encourages me to look at life anew.
Isn't that what we all are to embrace? To seek out opportunities to serve for the glory of God to fulfill His call by living as the best version of ourselves!
May your journey never trap you but encourage you to be still in gratitude for wherever you are called. May we see beauty in the dust, experience joy in the grumblings, and truly find the path to where we are called. 'Til we meet again. . .
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