How would you spend your last 24 hours?

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. 

So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  -- Romans 14:8



 

 

Ho! Ho! Ho! mixed with a little Bah! Humbug! and a teensy bit of "It's the End of the World as We know it!" set to music.  Once again the Christmas season snuck into my life.  I need snow!!! This Southern no snow surrounding plays tricks on my mind that there is loads of extra time.  It is 12-22-12 (and four minutes) as I write this blog.  Which means I am still here and hope the rest of the world is doing as well :) These last couple of days my hubby and I are trying to squeeze in as much of the holiday spirit as we can as most households we have been experiencing colds, bugs, viruses, and just the yucky mean germs.  I have been scrubbing surfaces with one hand and blowing my nose with the other.  And then I looked at the calendar and either the world was supposed to end or I had less than three days to decorate, send out christmas cards, enjoy the holiday, and shop and wrap like there is no tomorrow!  No problem! 

 

We put up our tree while our little two year old slept snugly in his bed and I wish I had taped his reaction.  It was priceless - Speech Therapy is doing wonders as we actually had a spontaneous conversation - a limited vocabulary but he definitely led the topics ;)  And slowly as the week progresses the ornaments are moving farther North on the tree, inch by inch,  I am surprised it is still standing as there is so much weight to the top and none on the bottom :)  I also insisted on Tuesday that we go out and have some Christmas fun and to look at a Christmas Tree festival where local businesses and organizations sponsor and decorate trees.  So many fun themes - my favorites include a snowman, an angel, Wizard of Oz tree, and Special Needs Awareness.  Beautiful and creative and FREE!  What a fun way to find some cheer. 

 

So my question "How would you spend your last 24 hours?" (Obviously assuming you know its your last day.)  This also is predictable around the 12-21-12 date but it was a question I asked my youth Sunday School class last week.  It was my attempt to wrangle in the conversation and facilitate around my point.  However, I was expecting similar answers to mine - something low key with family and friends to just spend time with those we love.  I forgot how teenagers think.  There may or may not have included an answer of peeing off the Eiffel Tower.  And I may or may not have pointed out half your day would be spent traveling encouraging a new answer that only changed the building not the activity.  I also may or may not have had a youth say they would do all of the crazy (good or bad) events they have always wanted to try and spend the last hour in confession to be forgiven.  I appreciated the desire to be absolved but again was looking for time with those we cherish.  But it was their choice and I appreciate their feedback (at least they're talking is the silver lining :)  

 

Also to be fair I was on my third dose of cough medicine mixed with pain relievers/fever reducer and a combination of not such good sleep.  It is hard to be enthusiastic when in the back of your mind you are counting down to climbing back into bed.  But I think that question has hung with me all week.  How do I want to spend my time? I knew the people (my husband and son) and everyone else I love is bonus :)   And though I was 99.9% sure I would see 12-22-12 and many days after I certainly didn't want to miss a special moment with my family.  We have been rushing around like crazy because of the holidays, changes we've made in our household, and just my anxious personality that doesn't want to miss a thing!  My hubby gave me permission the other night as I stood and complained of being overwhelmed.  He gave me permission to just play with my son - to forget the chores/duties/whatever other events were bogging down my spirit.  He encouraged me to have fun and enjoy this precious time.  So today we did.  We admired the tree, we colored, we played fort, we tickled, we giggled, we sung, we ran errands (which got a bit tense) but we brought our dog which pleased my son and puppy to no end :)  And then when my hubby got home we popped some popcorn and watched a Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas which my son was glued to the television.  He agreed to snuggle because I agreed to sit on the floor.  We then went to a live nativity at our church which is amazing!  My son was so excited to see a real camel.  We then told him he could pet it and he took four steps back shaking his head no!  We walked the town, signed the census, saw the shops, and heard some stories. But at the end we saw the Holy Family and heard the angel's message and then heard my own angel sum up the event with a "hee haw" at the donkey and pointed to the star of Bethlehem - telling us to "Look!" "Look!"  We grabbed a cookie for the road and drove around looking at Christmas Lights.  We all agreed on a house that was both beautifully decorated and gorgeous and Drew's approval to live there.  I am guessing it only costs 1.1 million ;)   Kind of out of the stay at home mom's budget but who knows - miracles happen every day :)  We picked up chinese food on the way home - our bug-a-boo went to bed with no fuss.  It really was the way I would like to spend my last 24 hours -  Creating memories with my loved ones, remembering and honoring my Savior's birth, a little bit of indulgence and dreaming, and feeling warmed by the magic of Christmas (Hope, Love, Joy, Peace).

 

May your HealthFULL Journey leave you Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life as you ponder, enjoy, and cherish this Christmas Season.  May you know the Reason for the Season and may you feel surrounded by love. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Workin' up a Sweat

 

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit,

who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

You are not your own; you were bought a price. 

Therefore honor God with your body. -- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

 

Can I be honest?  This piece of scripture haunts me.  I have confessed there have been many binges and some more recent than I want to remember let alone admit.  We joke about my downfalls in our home.  The foods that call my name at all hours when in the house and have a direct line to my Sal the Snacker (Chips (no self-control!!! nada - zilch!), Ice Cream (some control but little) and Pop has a hold I can't even describe!) I ban them I invite them I kick these foods out of the house again and there is that one moment of weakness and they move in their brother's wife's cousin's dog's best friend and everyone down the line.  I crave, I rationalize, I promise, I threaten, I ignore, and then I break down.  This can be agonizing.  And then I giggle when someone mentions I forgot to eat today - don't you hate that?  I nod and chuckle as if I am "in" on the joke but I'm giggling because I cannot fathom a day in this world where I would forget a snack let alone a day worth of meals!  I eat out of nervousness I am not 100% sure if that counts as emotional eating.  Because my anxiety can turn any moment into a nervous activity which then gives me permission to chow down.  Today a tongue in cheek confession was made to my husband as we joked about my temptations.  I will eat versions of those items that I don't even like because of what they say to me.  I remember drinking the world's grossest soda - It was blue and the name was something like blue mountain soda sparkling blue this was 10+ years ago.  It tasted like foaming carbonated paint thinner or some other household cleaner - rough stuff.  I believe I finished half a can and that is the only pop in this world I have not finished.  I used to find some diet sodas that tasted like soap but did I buy them more than once.  Why yes I did!  That has to say something - and probably not the nicest  or wisest comment. 

 

So what does this have to do with workin' up a sweat?  Well I recently stopped by the library for rejuvenation into the work-out world.  I started off strong this month promising myself I would do at least thirty minutes of dedicated on purpose working out so that anything extra was just bonus points.  I have dragged out the Wii that passively agressively reminded me that I have not visited in 253 days.  Why thank you Wii for noticing my absence - missed you too!  And then had the audacity to say I've gained 19 pounds in that time.  I guess the Wii Fit did not want me to visit again for another 253 days!  I have bonded again with the Walking DVD where my son believes he is meant to serve as my arm weight as he giggles along with the super peppy coach on the television screen.  Well that gung-ho attitude lasted a whole five days.  Then a couple more passed and I said "Suzy we have to make this work! The weight has to go and more importantly that blood sugar needs to get under control!!!"  I know in the logical world that exercise greatly impacts my blood sugar but when I am being pulled by Sal the Snacker and called by the cravings I leave logic blocked in a corner screaming for help!  Not that logic needs my help but it knows how much I need IT! And Logic wants to desperately help me in those desperate moments!   

 

So I tried to be pro-active and grabbed two DVDs from the library my free resource to dabble in movement.  One is a bellydance DVD which cracks me up (because at my size the belly dances pretty much all the time on its own  its just not quite in the manner people find attractive ;)  and a God inspired Sweating in the Spirit where we pull out the Hymns and the Gospel singers to motivate our movement.  The "coach" or "teacher"  quoted the above line quite often in the DVD.  Every time she said that scripture verse or the mantra " your body is your temple" - I winced.  Which is what we do when we view an action as dangerous or painful.  This wasn't her intention I'm sure.  She meant to be encouraging.  She was smiling and throwing up her arms in Glory to God.  And I was trying to sink into the floor away from God's gaze. 

 

Hmmmm....That kind of reaction deserves a ponder.  I say I want to beautify and strengthen my body, my temple in honor of God.  As a sign of respect!  That kind of thinking leads to work-outs which leads to so many wonderful options.  An instant gift is my son's reaction.  He is his Mommy's biggest cheerleader.  Certain DVD's cause him to giggle and copy mine and the television's instructor's movements.  Sometimes he finds it so delightful and entangles himself around me like a jungle gym when I do "fun" poses.  Such as straddling my legs or arching my back or creating a downward dog sort of pose that he can climb through and interact with me.  I love that!  I love when he discovers a new move or a new opportunity to see life from a new perspective.  These are the good moments when I am on my 'A' game and doing good.  But then I lose my hold on that scripture of empowerment and it becomes a blaming loud alarm as I stuff my face with bowl after bowl of potato chips.  The only growth besides my stomach is that chips at least last two days and not just one :( 

 

Oooh  If only I could hold unto the power of that verse.  That positive encouragement and reminder that fuels me to making good choices worth building up.  Instead of me sweeping it into dark corners as I run away distracted, confused, and blindly numbing myself with foods that clog and slow my journey instead of fueling me into the next stretch of positive growth.  Hmmmmmmm....

 

Day by day, moment by moment I trudge. 

 

Jesus looked at them and said, "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." --Matthew 19:26 

 

God reach down and help me own the above scripture.  That my body is a temple to serve you to honor you and to always bring glory in your name.  I constantly fail in this area.  I turn away from the responsibility.  I hide my head in guilt and shame to avoid the pain this verse reminds of my failure.  I struggle God because I struggle never because my love for you falters.  Help me to remember to love what you gave me for life, my body and to treat it with respect.  Amen!

 

May your HealthFULL journey hold up a mirror to remind you of the areas where you are strong and where you have grown and a loving reminder of what still could use improvement.  Remember God loves you always where you are - God doesn't wait for you to lose ten pounds or until you can run a marathon.  God loves you right here, right now, and is waiting to hear your heart's desire and to witness ALL of your choices - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful ;)  'Til we meet again. . . 

Turn the Page

        You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You annoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. - Psalm 23: 5-6

 

Ahh!  Turn the page - its such an exciting moment for readers.  What turn will the story take?  Are the words leading to something exciting or is it time to take a step back and learn more information?  Is the journey expected? Anticipated? Or thrilling with twists and turns?  And the ending what will I feel when the ending happens?  Some are satisfying - some are plain upsetting and my favorite stories are the one that leave you mesmerized.  These can be biographies or self help or novels and yes...the Bible.  I don't know of anyone who picks up the Bible one day starts at Genesis works through the Old Testament into the New Testament and finishes with Revelation all in one day.  It is actually uncommon for many people to do that with a year.  We like to pick through our favorite books, our familiar passages, and mentally nibble on these scriptures as we contemplate life, ponder our purpose, and wonder about our wandering. 

 

 

The above picture is my actual Bible.  I have other versions and copies of the Bible.  But the actual book pictured?  It's my favorite.  Its stolen - don't worry the first owner has knowledge of this theft and has even given his blessing of its home now being with me (even if it is begrudgingly ;)  I can't tell you all the places this book has traveled but it has seen most of the U.S. from Florida to Alaska and much in-between.  But what would be even more challenging to tell you is - where I've traveled with this HealthFULL Journey. 

 

Some of the days I turn the pages of this book my life dramatically shifts.  Somedays it is my mood - I may come to these verses: lost, confused, bitter, depressed, thrilled,but I walk away confident, encouraged, with purpose, grateful, energized, or somber.  Some readings have led to dramatic results - applying for new jobs, accepting volunteer opportunities, facing school yet again.

 

Yep -That is my new page.  I was reading the 23rd Psalm for a bible study to finish off the week.  Here this Psalm that many of us are familiar and yet this reading had a profound impact as if I was reading it for the first time.  This assignment came right after I received my letter of invitation to seminary to study for my Master of Divinity. I am excited, apprehensive, confident, overwhelmed, and yet when I read these verses - peace from the Holy Spirit just wrapped their arms of comfort and held me.  This book is more than words on a page - it is a Living Breathing Word of today. 

 

I remember one of my first classes from college that opened with two students pairing up and answering a couple of questions.  The first question we were to ask of each other is "What is the Bible?"  I was extremely confident that college would be a breeze as I obviously "knew" the right answer to this question.  I smiled proudly and said "The Bible is the Word of God." Ready to take my bow in delight.  My partner responded something along the lines of  "A book of myths that Christians see as history and use as a manual in their faith".  *Eyebrows raised*  What?!?!? That is not what My Church teaches!  I was ready to raise my hand and tell the professor that my partner was sadly mistaken.  But I realized then that I had a lot to learn in life.  So I did not tattle and began to wrestle with that choice.

 

13 years later I have to confess I still think my answer was the right answer ;)   I just have a lot more reasons to back it up besides my church saying so.  I have that experience of studying, wrestling, reading, pondering, and even the pleasure of just listening to these verses.   Do I know all there is to know about the Bible.  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  So everyday I pick it up and Turn the page. . .oh what exciting places we'll go. 

 

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to places and experiences you couldn't imagine in the past, but appreciate for the future journey, and couldn't even fathom living without them in today's path. May each turn of the page encourage a journey that leaves you Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life. 'Til we meet again. . .

Boo goes the Pumpkin

But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. - Matthew 13:23

I once was a summer girl.  My birthday was in the summer. We always traveled on our biggest family vacations in the summer. No school!  We would ride our bikes - everywhere! Especially the pool! The taste of freedom on those bikes with just enough breeze a little change in the pocket for the ice cream treats and cold soda cans from vending machines.  And I used to tan this beautiful gold and the sun naturally highlighting my hair.  What happened?  Now I am so not a fan of the summer - it's buggy, hot, and I always feel sweaty and I no longer tan.  I burn pink and then red rather quickly.  No fun!  But autumn?

Oh how I have fallen in love with autumn (Secretly I would love to name a daughter Autumn Rain - I can share this with you as my husband has vetoed this a bajillion times but I am a die-hard dreamer and still holding out hope :) But the temperatures around here are just perfect for layers and jeans.  My favorite outfit.  The leaves are just majestic.  And some of my favorite produce appears in the markets.  I love my berries in the summer those reds and blues and maroon blacks - yummy, sweet and tart.  But when the crispness of the air starts to appear its apple and yes wait for it ..... the beautiful greens, oranges, reddish tones play out for the wonderful Winter squash season - can we say delicious?   And minus the turban squash (my arch-nemesis) the rest of the squash family is always a go-to for a super tasty, filling, and easy side item/entree.  You can see my entry last year how the turban squash and I fought.  I always like to claim victory but as they begin to appear in stores I physically turn my cart around at the sight of these amazingly grotesque but yet disturbingly attractive sculptures of produce.  But no handy chef knife will slide through these heavy duty squashes.  The work did not equal the reward - so I steer clear.  But if you are having an autumn party they would make phenomenal center pieces. 

But yes the squashes have hit the supermarkets and now my home.  We sit with a two spaghetti squashes and one butternut squash (by far the family favorite as it makes a simple but tasty roasted side or can also be used in a cozy heart-warming  soup. )  And here comes our fruit/veggie of the week - A White Pumpkin.  I believe the grocery store just called it a mixed pumpkin. 

Boo - Happy Autumn :)

So why the white pumpkin?  If you have read my produce of the week I am a sucker for non-typical color choices.  Pumpkins are always thought of as orange.  As the white pumpkin sat a couple of weeks on our counter (love that squash has a sturdy shelf life) I always chuckled at the sight of it.  I thought two things.  Its a ghost pumpkin which sounds like a fantastic halloween mascot/symbol.  And two it looks like someone washed away all the orange and here sits this morose pumpkin without its cheery festive orange color.  After several conversations and hints from my husband that it would just make his day to come home and the pumpkin no longer stealing our counter space I decided to tackle the pumpkin project.

Who doesn't have great pumpkin memories?  The carving, the baked goods (my dad makes fantastic pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie and even yummy pumpkin seeds.) This used to be one of our fall traditions.  My dad was in charge of pumpkin duty and I was honored to be his assistant.  I gathered and picked through pumpkin guts when we would carve our two family pumpkins which I believe I did most years up to my junior or senior year in high school.  I do enjoy holiday traditions - the cheesier the activity the better right ? :)  And I was assigned certain duties for pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread - I was ALWAYS the sifter for pumpkin bread.  We had a squeeze sifter that I used over wax paper. After I married my hubby the amazing chef of our household.  He asked me to sift and I was so excited as this was a kitchen task both familiar and fun.  Smiling to myself as I was going to dazzle my hubby with my amazing skills he hands me this tin mug with a crank.  Ummmm what is that?  He shrugged and had the audacity to raise his eyebrows with the reply "A sifter".  Ummmmm no.  My sifter of choice is a tupperware equivalent with a orange top with a handle that you squeeze and part of the top swivels back and forth as it passes the dry ingredients.  Don't give me this lose sieve with a weird crank.  A girl has her pride and loyalty to childhood traditions.  Plus my daddy used to praise my sifting skills my husband again shrugged his shoulders and offered "then don't sift its not that big of deal."  Oh its a big deal! 

But I digress back to the white pumpkin.  It was intimidating!  I tackled the pumpkin in the past as an assistant letting the leader navigate the recipe and the portions.  I don't know what to do with this pumpkin - soup, bread, pastry, treat it like squash?  And the size I wasn't sure exactly how this broke down. One dish, two, three, six? I don't know.  So I decided I wanted pumpkin seeds and to puree the rest and throw it in the freezer until I had the wits about me and measurements.  Wow - I know why I procrastinated with this huge white pumpkin.  It's a lot of work to cook this produce with no true path.  We did roast the pumpkin seeds using the fabulous "Roasted Pumpkin Seeds" recipe from www.epicurious.com    

Ingredients

Ingredients
2 cups pumpkin seeds, rinsed and dried
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 drops hot pepper sauce

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Line a baking pan with aluminum foil.
2. Stir together the pumpkin seeds and butter in a bowl. Add the salt, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, and hot pepper sauce; stir. Spread the seeds in a single layer on the baking pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven until crispy, about 45 minutes.

Read More http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/ROASTED-PUMPKIN-SEEDS-51179871#ixzz2AHWC70SU

Ohhh so good!  I am so debating if we should buy at least one more pumpkin for just the seeds.  Such a tasty snack - little savory, little spice, little salt, little sweet and fantastic crunch!!! When you first cut into the white pumpkin you may be surprised that the flesh is a pale yellow.  I think I still expected that bright orange flesh that screams "Happy Halloween".  But the seeds were pretty easy to remove as the pumpkin guts weren't as gloppy as I remember.  Not sure if that is the difference between the white pumpkin and the traditional orange carving style pumpkins.  Or if I am not the same and didn't puposely dig through the flesh in search of every single seed.

We do things - simple actions, big gestures, innocent comments that people observe, record in their memories and base opinions or judgements.  The quiet moments when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and unscripted are when people truly witness our contributions and our character.  My dad had no idea how much I would still treasure those fall days where we baked pumpkins and I still can see where I sat to sift my ingredients on the wax paper and smell the spice of pumpkin goods.  I can only hope that my son is starting to build his own scrapbook of the memories that will warm his heart about his childhood.  Our witness about our spiritual journeys, our mental conquests, our physical feats, our heartfelt passions, and/or our simple acts of charity need not be grand or over-the-top crazy or perfectly molded - they just need to be sincere.  And hopefully when we do good, with God's grace and blessing some of our actions will be seeds that fall into good soil to encourage the growth of others. May God bless you and keep you - 'til we meet again. . .

Causing quite a Racquet!

causing quite a racquet!
 

Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom,
and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too,
is a chasing after the wind. - Ecclesiastes 1:17


Thwap! Boom! Swoosh! *Grunt* *Yelp* Ahhhhhhhh!

Yes these are the sounds you would have heard as I competed on the racquetball court with my hubby Cor on Monday night.  These are also the sounds that have taken residence in our lives.  To say we have been busy this past month is a laughable quote.  Time, energy, tears, tearing of hair have been spent in abundance.  Working at a new job, getting glasses for the toddler, taking our beach vacation, teaching Sunday School, and scheduling appointments - lots and lots of appointments are some of the highlights of why I have been so quiet about this HealthFULL Journey.  There has been lots to say with little time to share. 

With our hectic schedules you can see why I feel like I am chasing the wind.  I feel I have the grasp of a situation or have captured a moment of wisdom and then it slides right through my fingers and I am left holding - NOTHING!  It is a frustrating pursuit, but I continue on this path because that moment of capture - that split second where you feel you have reached the treasured goal - your heart bursts with pride, your lips curve in a smile, and that glow of satisfaction starts to wash over you.  Only starts to cover you because in that next second you have lost that moment and again begin to desperately chase the opportunity that was just within your grasp.

My life this past month has felt like a game of racquetball.  And not just any game of racquetball but the heated match between Corey and myself 9/24/12.  My husband greeted me after work after we both were running thirty minutes late (which equals out the thirty minutes I was late to work - shocker I got lost!!!)  We stopped by the front desk to request a court to begin our battle and also the equipment.  You can see we are hard-core athletes when it comes to this fast-paced game.  It had been about a decade since either of us had played - but that didn't stop us from our pursuit to battle to the death - or until our twenty five minutes were done as both courts were already scheduled for that time. 

We entered the court, gripped our racquets, and securely placed our protective eyegear.  My husband gets ready to serve that little rubber ball of speed and force.  Oh timeout!  My glasses are fogging up.  A phenomenon I know well as I began wearing glasses at age five in Northern Minnesota.  My gracious husband switched goggles as he had not had any trouble with his pair.  Double drat these fogged up on me too.  We haven't even started playing and I can't see.  I feel these protective eyewear are not going to help me avoid danger as much as place me directly in the path of the lightning quick ammunition as a suitable target.  Again a perfect way to describe how some of these past weeks have felt.  What should protect and help me in my journey has served as direct missiles and choosing me as the perfect target for crazy explosion.  But back to the game.

We begin to play and I learn to peer through the fogginess (my curse of a short button nose!) or where I one hand my racquet and lift my glasses for a quick reprieve of every three seconds.  The game of racquetball is full of interesting and may I add "comical" noises.  I believe this is where comic book writers are inspired for their noises describing their combat sequences.  "Thwap!" "Boom!" *Whistling Missile* "Pow!" "Grrr!" "Ow!"   The last Ow that might just be me as that little blue bomb hits me in the shoulder. 

The great thing about racquetball is that you can hit the ball in any direction - Sides, back wall, front wall, floor, and ceiling count  . . . well at least in the version we played.  But I believe everyone else allows for the sides, back, and front wall.  The object of the game is to reach fifteen points.  You are allowed only one bounce before that satisfying smack sends the ball ricocheting around the room closely resembling a padded cell (without the padding) in an insane asylum. Even the door looks impossible to open from the inside as the "knob" nestles inside the door as to avoid injury in your quick pursuit to hit that little bouncing wonder. 

Usually, the game is played with two opponents facing off against each other in hopes of one winning.  We played a version more like the ball and walls/room were on one team and that my hubby and I were on another.  I tended to lob the ball against the wall after a double, triple, or quadruple bounce and then prayerfully cower as my husband would smash the daylights out of that little blue trajectile zooms leeringly at my head. 

Did I mention that I had a lot of fun?  Oh sure I am not ready for the olympics nor a real opponent but there is something satisfying about chasing down a specific target and then smacking it to smithereens watch it careen through the air and ricocheting off the ceiling and walls with intense but hilarious sound effects. 

Like I mentioned before this game mimics a lot of what is going on in our daily lives.  There is a lot of pursuit in our lives - being impressive at work, being available for our families,  seeking out opportunities to serve at church and in the community, while still trying to better our future opportunities by chasing them down.  We pray for moments where we can be a smashing success, make a little noise, and then walk away knowing we left everything on the court.  But we need to be wise in our pursuits because nothing is more frustrating than chasing the wind.  We think we are following God's will, we feel proud as we continue our noble pursuit, and then as we near the finish line we realized it was a mere illusion as the target appears to move further away always just inches beyond our grasp.

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to pursue noble dreams and satisfying goals. But if you do find those moments you are chasing the wind may they be filled with humor, loving support, and nuggets of wisdom. 'Til we meet again. . .  

Spreading the good news

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,

 faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. --- 1 Peter 4:10 NIV

My son has a joyful spirit.  He bumps his head and giggles.  He shrieks with delight when others laugh and play along.  And he smiles ....a LOT!  I wish I could take credit but this is his gift.  He loves life....he embraces the moment and without a word challenges you to laugh at the world too.  Drew teaches us to smile at what "now" can bring not what was or what will be but what right now can bring.  He does faces - he's learning to roll his eyes, muster a serious gaze, and show distress but still has a glint in the eye and tilt of the head to share a giggle after he is understood. He makes me want to do better.  To not miss an opportunity to graciously accept the blessings of today but to also seek those moments where I can share my gifts and hopefully add to the glory of God's kingdom. 

For three years I have been sharing on this blog my goal to get healthy. I started writing this in anticipation of the physical pounds just melting off my body.  Sure, I would write that its a journey and a process.  But in my hopes of hopes I thought within a year I would be sitting in my chair typing as my skinny version.  I did not know at that time that the weight I had been carrying wasn't all physical.  I toppled the scale with pounds of hurt, anger, resentment, grudges, disappointments, regrets, and worries - tons and tons of worries that not only piled on the pounds but bound them to my frame.  I had much work to complete, many life experiences to endure, and tons of challenges to conquer.  Many blessings have found our home and covered us in comforts, love, and much hope. Every area of my life has been touched, stretched, and improved in unmeasurable proportions.  But yet the weight remains an ugly picture to such a beautiful journey. 

So this weekend my hubby and I had one of those sincere heart to heart conversations where all the layers of politeness and untruths are left unraveled on the ground leaving only the purest, most sincere answers of honesty remained.  He dug and coached and pulled what I really hoped to accomplish this year.  And after many ----MANY resumes being sent to find that perfect job to replace the nanny job of mine with only five more days  left to work an e-mail requesting an interview found my inbox.  As of today I am re-employed with no days to celebrate my farewell to a summer I will always treasure as I embrace my new role as an afterschool counselor.  The best benefit besides the children I will meet and the work that will challenge me and allow me to share my gifts of education, entertainment, and encouragement I get a free gym membership. Not only do I get to share my faith but I get to be held accountable for my true goal of embracing my physical health.  It's time to get fit and trim.  God will use my strengths but even more impressive is that He will also build up my weakness.  One of my favorite verses is John 3:3 "He must become greater; I must become less."  It can be easy and its always fun to share our gifts and our strengths.  But sometimes the best thing we can do to prove God's awesome power is by showing our weakness and offering it to allow God the chance to display His greatness - for He is the Almighty.    

It was a special weekend for our family and I am blessed to have two amazing guys.  One to teach me the joys of life and one to challenge me to the purest desires of my heart so that I can be the best possible version of myself. 

May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life as you find joy in the here and now by being honest with yourself and sharing the gifts that only you can deliver. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Encouraging Words Dear Friends

 I know you're my friend, because we've laughed and we've cried - together!

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.  - John 15:13

Time moves quickly and life gets busy.  I think we all know that a little too well.  We count reading a FB status or a Tweet as staying in touch with loved ones.  A quick text is common to communicate family whereabouts.  And not seeing a person you live with for a day or two, is becoming a bit too common.  We forget how as humans we crave that comforting touch or harbor such a passionate desire to hear words of encouragement from those we cherish - and a text just doesn't satisfy those urgings.

I've learned I have a real problem with perfection-itis because I crave those pats on the head letting me know I'm a good girl!

Two days ago was my hubby's and my nine year anniversary.  It went semi-unnoticed from most people including us. We had some obligations and plan to have a grown-up date Saturday night.  Well one of those commitments was a church gathering.  Could we have missed? Sure!  Would people have minded all that much? Probably not.  But as I am cruising on a Health FULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life - Yep this acronym has changed for the better :) Journey; I have come to realize how important it is to keep real relationships with people past our immediate family that include true connections that extend past the computer or phone screens. And when we met with this group we had a task of creating a bookmark - a simple beautiful bookmark.  Let me correct that - It LOOKS simple.  Oh my perfectionist side came out and she is a bit intense and slightly bitter.  I for the life of me could not complete that task in what I felt was a timely manner.  And though we are trying to complete this project - I missed the true reason of the night - I missed the connection of friends -those moments where you share your happiness and your challenges. 

These last couple of days (and sort of weeks) have been a wonderful reminder of how friends can turn my frowns upside down. I would like to share a few :)

That Thursday night I received a call around 11:30 at night.  Who calls this late?  Those who matter who usually have something important to share.  It was a call from my oldest friend - I am 31 and our friendship has lasted almost twenty-seven years.  Its a call worth taking.  She has some things going on but that's not why she really called.  She just needed to chat.  She needed to shoot the breeze and escape from the intense moments suffocating her life.  She needed to hear that life was carrying on outside of their family's heartache.  A reminder that normalcy may one day return.  She needed that time and so did I.

Yesterday (Friday morning)  I went to work as a nanny.  Many mornings the kids come running out the door to greet me, especially if they know I am bringing my son.  But not a peep - not crazy because the morning was already looking a bit dreary.  I climb the steps to the house that appears semi-dark and open the door to a loud resounding perfectly group of five children shouting HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!  (For a moment I felt like I accidently ruined the surprise for someone's surprise party and realized the enthusiastic orchestrated moment was indeed for me - a day late which may be why it was such a SURPRISE, but still it was very touching :) 

Friday night I texted back and forth with a friend from middle school - We are months shy of hitting our 20 year friendship anniversary mark - wow the significance of my hubby's and my nine year seems to be dwindling quickly :) 

In our brief exchange we shared words about our relationship - triggered high school memories - and commented on the women we are today.  I'm not against texting as it may have sounded early in this blog - but this exchange was a bit sweeter and more current as I did just see her for the first time in three years just over a week ago.  We actually hugged, smiled, and our children played together all in the same room - it was fabulous!!! And a poignant reminder - its nice to have tons of FB friends to share the highlight reel of our lives - but nothing like a true friend with a REAL connection - that not only includes the highlight reel but the backstory, the outline that made this all come to be and the complete story with added commentary.

And dispersed among the stories shared I have received several messages that I wasn't quite expecting - aren't those sometimes the best words to hear/read?  When you see you have an e-mail or FB message there is a good chance you are expecting a reply from someone or the close circle of friends you expect to drop you a line.  But no I had not one but two messages from people that I have shared significant moments with but as friendships tend to do over time have faded.  It's nice to be remembered and encouraged.  I can't express what a blessing they were and how they both touched my heart  to read these words from these special people That's why I picked the opening scripture I did.  Yes sacrificing your life for another is the greatest gift but we only one of those that we can do.  I also like to read this scripture verse as a reminder - that we can daily lay our life down for others.  Would I have liked to go to bed instead of picking up the phone to chat. Possibly I was pretty tired - but my friend needed time and a listening ear - I've been in that spot.  When you already are feeling down and can't get someone on the phone doesn't that crush your spirit just a bit harder?  It does mine. Did the kids have to wish my a happy anniversary? No the day had passed but the extra effort and the sweet intention with such enthusiasm was more touching than a passing almost obligatory congrats.  Connecting with an old friend is always a gift.  But it took coordination, money, time, and lots of effort on both ends to arrange that long-overdue visit :)  And those extra words probably didn't take hours but mere minutes to send my way - but they will warm my heart for quite awhile. 

We forget the little things do matter.  Its okay to take shortcuts now and then (a text, an e-mail) but we as humans do need to lay down our lives - our "busyness" and take time for what really matters to truly share our lives, our time with those who matter.  Because it is in those moments we build, strengthen, and protect our relationships.

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with heartwarming moments as you and those you love take time to lay down your lives for one another. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Like a fairytale

He has made everything beautiful in its time.
 He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginnng to end. 
Ecclesiastes 3:11

http://originalfreeclipart.blogspot.com/2010/08/fireflies.html

Dear Fireflies,

Tonight, I peered through my window
and saw dusk encroaching with a pinkish glow.
The night sky beckoned me
to step outside with a whisper from the tree.


I was enchanted by the colors and the fading light.
It was like the sun wouldn't go down without a fight!
And yet, as the colors fade;
among the fireflies a painting was made.


With the background of the pinkish purplish sky
the fluttering bugs were twinkling their good-byes.
The world seemed to pause at their will,
as all was hushed and very still.


All was still except for those dancing bugs.
There was a comfort within the scene echoed only by precious hugs.
So much in life taunts us that we most likely can and will fail,
but this fragile, delicate moment warmed the heart like an inspired fairytale.


This scene lasted a mere minute, or two.
And yet, it screamed a truth so true;
That beauty, kindness, and love continue to grow!
If we pause for just a moment, nature still offers a breathtaking show.

Hot Potato!

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. 

 For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

-- 2 Corinthians 4:18

Isn't there something almost magical about farming? You plant these tiny little seeds, nurture that seed and it becomes a plant that with enough TLC learns to thrive.  Look closely at the picture above?  Do you see the bountiful harvest?  No?  Its potatoes.  A lot of potatoes! Enough potatoes to require the attention of three adults and five children.  Look closer at the picture.  How about now, can you see the potatoes now?  Probably not, but that doesn't make them any less real.

You don't simply pick potatoes - you have to dig for them.  Our top farmer would use the tractor to reveal the delicious vegetables hidden in plain view.  Then the kids and I would grab our baskets and begin to "play" in the dirt and capture our starchy treats.  And there were many potatoes to be found.  We sought, we dug, and we captured our bountiful harvest.

It was a moving experience.  The sun was shining and the as the soil was scattered - little jewels appeared ready to be harvested.  I have been like the potato which might prove the old saying true - You are what you eat :)  I have been waiting in the dark.  I have been growing.  I have sat silent avoiding early light afraid of a quick dismissal.  But with a few big upheavals ready to show myself and hope for the best. 

Pick me! Pick me! I shout to the world.  Pick me Pick me - the kids say to me daily for numerous reasons:  "Pick me to read!" "Pick me to say grace!" "Pick me to love!"  Isn't that what we all seek?  Pick me to love so that I can show my talents. Let me display all of my growing and that it matters to someone.  That someone cares enough to stop, even for a moment, and say wow I might not have seen it earlier but I see you are ready to be picked, utilized, and loved. 

What stage of growth are you experiencing? Are you just planted eagerly awaiting the future possibilities? Are you in the middle of a deep growth and fear disturbance?  Or are you ready to be harvested and screaming pick me pick me! 

It isn't easy to decipher which stage a seed recently planted may reside.  But with faith and  a tad touch of common sense; we can cross paths with the unseen and harvest the ripened "fruit". 

May your HealthFULL Journey include all areas of growth especially answers of  peace and  revelations of the seen and the unseen.  "til we meet again . . .

I told you there was a lot of potatoes ;)

    

Goodbye SweetHeart Goodbye!!!

Goodbye Sweetheart, Good-bye :)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

 a time to be born, and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot, . . .

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance. . .

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-2,4)



How many celebrations have you attended?  Think, relish in these precious memories - weddings, birthdays, graduation parties, baby showers, celebrations for the any old odd reason - its a Tuesday, lost the last tooth, holiday gatherings).  Do you have an idea?  Are you laughing at the memories, the jokes that are retold still today about that occasion?  Now with those pictures in mind - how many sweets are present?  Be honest - no quick glances.  A lot right?  Pretty much every one of those memories has a cake battering (pun totally intended:) itself into those precious pictures.  Why? Because we want to make those memories sweet and special enough for those most delicious, outlandish, beautiful desserts.  Were these events about the cake?(I see some of you nodding - no these events were not about the cake!)  Would we have been disappointed as the host or the guest without that sweet treat?  Now you can nod. . .

We do like to celebrate with a sweet concoction to tie the event together.  We like the honoree to see we want to please all five senses - especially visual and taste.  We want this event to be filed under spectacular and fun and "sweet".  No one is grabbing the bitter melon to leave that nasty aftertaste of bitterness.  We want the event to end on a pleasing sweet note of aroma. 

I ponder this symbol of sweet gifts that we want to treat the occasion with a pile of sugar and to mark  that this day is worth the indulgence.  As I bid adieu to my co-workers of six years I picked up a few coffee cakes and orange juice and chocolate milk.  Even the healthy additions of fruit and milk are loaded with sweetness.  But why not? It was my last day and I wanted to thank them for being so "sweet" over the years.  This was a breakfast treat to say thanks.  They returned their gratitude with cupcakes.  Delicious, moist, mini  cakes topped with sugary mounds of frosting with even the selection of chocolate or vanilla.  Then just in case there wasn't enough sweetness a topping of swirly chocolate.  Remember first paragraph we want to especially delight the visual and taste senses.  I was touched my the gesture and of course showed my appreciation by diving in and even bringing a 1/2 dozen home.  (Don't worry these 1/2 dozen were shared with friends and when I say friends not just the me, myself, and I kind of friend :) 

Desserts are our go-to.  They say thanks and this moment is special.  They are easy to be made from scratch and even more simple to pick up from the store.  And say congratulations or farewell!  But another way to look at these sweet treats besides ahh sweet gesture wanting to treat me.  "Here is a pound to add to your frame as a reminder of us here."  And usually we respond through years of training - thanks for the extra pound I am going to carry this pound on my chest next to my heart :)  It is always nice to be remembered but maybe our indulgences for those special occasions have became a little too ordinary - and the occasional indulgence has become more of a daily excuse for excess.

I love the scripture that I opened with.  Ahh Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 you phrase life so eloquently - "there is a time to weep and a time to laugh".  Note how the scripture says that there is A time.  It doesn't say everytime or all the time we should laugh or weep.  Or in this blog eat every sugary treat offered.  Because you will be to many birthdays, many weddings, and many other "special" occasions.  It is okay to say no to the sweet treat offered.  It is okay to just cherish the memory without submerging yourself into the sugar induced coma.  I say all this to myself.  Because I like any excuse for indulgence.  It's "Janie's" birthday - happy birthday Janie pass the cake.  What its three o'clock Tuesday afternoon - where's the doughnut?  Happy Tuesday everyone!  You get the point? 

I loved that my co-workers took time and effort to say good-bye.  But the cupcake was gone within a minute.  The card that I had to read after work (My eyes might have started to water upon opening the card) will be cherished for a long while and the memories with my co-workers even longer. 

As the song goes:

Goodnight, sweetheart
Well,it's time to go
Goodnight, sweetheart
Well, it's time to go
I hate to leave you, but I really must say
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight

May your HealthFULL Journey include many special occasions worth celebrating and may you truly celebrate to your heart's content. Because there is a time indulge but also a time to abstain. 'Til we meet again. . .

 

Show your Warts!!!

Show your Warts!!!

How can you say to your brother,

"Let me take the speck out of your eye.'

when all the time there is a plank

in your own eye.

               Matthew 7:4

Dear World, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Toad.  Mr Toad meet the world.  This toad comes and goes as he pleases around our house.  He tends to live around the corner taunting and teasing my dog and then retreats quickly (or semi-quickly) to his home under the garbage can.  This may be Mr. Toad Jr.  as I remember him being bigger in the past.  He leaves me be except for the teases at my sweet puppy.  I try to return the peace to him though I do usually let out a scream when he makes his reappearance under our garbage can. 

But I do respect that he has never been afraid to show his warts. 

As humans we hear "warts" and get a bit squeamish.  We may also begin to recall of the directory of witches from our childhood fairy tales.  But really what are warts?  They're growths caused by infection.  However, we call them anything else to escape the rejection and outcast label that warts bring. We hide our warts through nicknames and harmless labels such as a bump, extra skin, a cut, a blemish, or we may use the ultimate magic tool - the band-aid.  Whats the worst offense we may commit if cornered? Throw someone else in as the target to zone in on by pointing out their wart in hopes to cover our own.

We have trouble claiming the truth and honestly using our words.  Perhaps you hear great news from a friend - promotion, wedding, baby on the way or even tamer news like a new car or a new haircut.  There is a part of you that wants to celebrate but somehow before the words leave your mouth a criticism or a backhanded compliment takes the lead.  Why do we do this?  I believe we say these hurtful words (even if they are not intentionally spoken but inadvertently shared) because we all are seeking acceptance and fear rejection.  We hear stellar news and instead of hearing and celebrating the fact with those we love.  We immediately think of ourselves; how does this news affect our likability?  If you are shining brighter; will that spotlight my flaws, warts and all even more?  So we take the defense to avoid the feared offense.  We make jokes that aren't funny.  For instance - you're having a baby?  That's great news as you're not getting any younger!  Or closer to the conversations I am having these days.  "You quit your job?  That's great - good for you.  I would like to, but I can't because I have bills to pay.  So what are you doing after summer?  Oh! *pause* *grimace* Well I'm sure something will turn up.  So, really you are quitting your job.  How long were you there again?  Six years! Wow - and you have only a summer job lined up.  *pat on shoulder with eye roll* Well something will happen for you.  Good luck *chuckle with glad I'm not in your shoes kind of tone*."

Yep I 've had that exchange more than once.  And I truly believe people are looking out for me and are nervous.  Why are they nervous?  When someone changes the status quo we check our own lives for the aftershock.  If we are worried that tremors may disturb our comfort levels we tweak theirs.  Have you had friend lose weight and without missing a beat offer them a highly caloric dessert treat.  "Really - you've lost fifty pounds! That's awesome - Can I interest you in a triple hot fudge brownie ice cream treat?"  

So by my quitting a good stable job (I cannot stress enough how good my company was to me through some stressful events in my life but that I've known for awhile isn't my passion in life) for a short term but high on my wish list kind of opportunity it disrupts other's point of view.  It reminds me people who are struggling in their job that it is always a choice where you work.  I'm not saying everyone should quit a job they don't like this instant.  But we need to check in and remind ourselves life is full of options. The only thing on everyone's to do list that is not optionable is death.  But everything before that is a choice.  Do the reasons for you to stay at your job outweigh your reasons to leave?  Then absolutely stay at your job and work towards how you can make the situation better.  My scales were tipping the other direction.  God gave me an answer to my prayers.  Which I'm incredibly grateful.  But this answer didn't appear overnight.  It has been a long process. 

We all have our own desires and what we consider prizes.  But in exchange for those gifts we have to put in our hopes, the effort, and the time.  This means there will be some successess and some failures.  But if we get too tangled up in other people's journeys while trying to cover our warts we will lose our own opportunities.  It is good to want to share knowledge, advice, and constructive criticism.  Beware though, because sometimes what it is meant as an encouraging word gets pushed to the back as envy, anger, fear bully their way to the front and escape your mouth without a moment's notice.  Let's share our journey, warts and all. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be aided by those who can help you remove the speck of sawdust from your eye without clocking you in the head with their plank.  "Til we meet again . . .

Water can Heal

Water can Heal

From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters.  The first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease he had.

John 5:4

It never amazes me how soothing and restorative water can be.  When I am sick there is nothing like a hot shower or a cool bath to restore my energy.  When we get stressed at work we tighten almost to the point we turn into rigid stone but a couple of hours swimming in the ocean relaxes us to the point that it all seems to be part of a too-real nightmare.  Sometimes just looking at an aquarium can de-escalate our blood pressure. 


Scrub a dub - dub!

As I face this week of transition; a secure familiar job of six years being traded for a nine week nanny job I am feeling a jumbled bundle of emotions.  I have some frayed nerves that tumble into endless anxiety.  I have excitement that rivals Christmas Eve awaiting Santa Claus as I plan some activities.  I have sadness as I will be turning in a daily exposure of trusted peers and friends for five enthusiastic children/youth who have boundless and unlimited supplies of energy and creative messes to be had.  I'm having trouble concentrating because of part of me is ready to move forward while another part clings to what I know.

So where do I go?  The bath.  The place where I can control temperature and change it instantaneously if needed or wanted.  A place where I can grab a book and stop the alarming pace of whirring ideas.  A spot where water can soothe the anxiety, heal the confusion, and restore my energy and balance my emotions. 

Surprise, Surprise!  It worked.  I remember when we were looking to buy our house I jumped into the tub (fully clothed) to get a feel - could this house be our family home?  Could this tub be my private oasis?  And needless to say - it was and it is.  I remember when my son's temperature was spiking to degrees that I didn't know were possible and not be fatal our first thought was to get him into a bath.  I remember as a kid thinking the tub was a magical place where I created a storyland that rivaled the cartoons "The Snorks" and "The Jetsons" (this may be why I believe my son is part Mer-man ;)  I remember that first shower after delivering my son and that it lasted roughly forty five minutes.  But that shower felt amazing!!!  And when I am beyond ill and I have no energy to climb out of bed to grab a glass of water regain my energy and feel almost completely healed after a shower or bath. 

This passage of scripture quoted above is when Jesus heals the invalid of thirty-eight years and tells him to pick up his mat and walk.  I heard this sermon a couple of weeks ago in church.  But I feel I lived the sermon today.  I was broken and confused and disheartened as I let doubts, worries, criticism circle my thoughts and bound my heart.  But a dip in the tub and peace is restored, refreshed with energy coursing through my body, and cleansed of the negativity. 

Amazing how we can feel downtrodden one minute and the next minute with a change of perspective, the miracle of water and its healing properties; feel restored and once again, at peace.

May your HealthFULL Journey include time to soak in healing waters so that you too can be restored, refreshed, and cleansed.  'Til we meet again. . .

What is that in your mouth?

courtesy of www.vectorstock.com

What is that in your Mouth?

Jesus called the crowd to him and said,

 "Listen and understand. 

What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean'

but what comes out of his mouth,

that is what makes him 'unclean.'"

Matthew 15: 10 - 11

"What is that in your mouth?"  As a mom to a toddler I ask this question more than probably any other question in a day.  And he giggles and continues to chew with a grin.  Nine times out of ten - its dog food.  Ewww!  And what's worse?  I know I am nine times out of ten going to have to go in that drooly mouth full of baby shark teeth ready to chomp because this kid teethes ALL THE TIME.  He has to be on his fourth set of teeth!  But as I asked this question for the umpteenth time today - it hit me.  I ask my son this question ALL the time and occasionally I ask my hubby as he has found something to snack and I am curious do I want that same snack.  But do you know who I rarely ask that question ?  Myself.  I put tons of junk in my mouth and then wonder why my stomach isn't shrinking?  Its amazing what a little clarity does.  The only person asking this question was myself and I got a little antsy as if this was a full on interrogation with a windowless room, squeaky chair, and dimly lit bulb swinging in front of my face.  (I really need to lay off the television cop shows ;)  

I am an adult, a mom even and I still eat as if I was in elementary school sneaking cookies and chips from the kitchen with an extra can of pop.  Who I am kidding?  I'm the one buying the junk food and still I act like an innocent victim of how is this junk getting into our house.  Well I don't want to waste food so I will cram it down my throat in a couple days worth of time.  Because that way I won't eat this guilty junk in the future.  Ummmmm that's still wasting the food but now instead of seeing the food in the trash I see it in the mirror.  The view is still quite disturbing and a bit even more unpleasant.   And what happens?  The cupboards look bare so it is time to fill 'em and wait for it!  Yup more junk food ends up in the cart that I pay for bring home and hide in the cupboards to sneak once again when no one is looking except me.  Ummmmmm anyone else see a problem here or there?  

I tell ya that toddler teaches me everyday, a little about him, a little about me, and a lot about the world.  As I mulled over this information because I didn't like the unsettling feeling it was stirring I googled-  Putting things in our  mouth scripture.  Googled was ever so helpful and changed my phrasing to what it felt I meant to say.  Good job Google!

It lead me to Matthew 15:11 - "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean'.  It wasn't what I was looking for exactly - but better.  That happens a lot when you are in the middle of the journey and taking the path that seems best at the time.  You don't always end up where you think but instead find the best moments of the journey by accident. 

I was worried what was going into our mouths - my son Drew's maybe too much and mine not enough.  But my concern should be more on what comes out of our mouths because they come from our heart as we read in Matthew 15:18.  Could my words be kinder, more gentle?  Am I speaking in patience or from exasperation?  Do my words match my actions or are they hypocritical?  Are they too harsh?  Should they be more encouraging? For example, I say I want to get healthier and lose weight.  And yet, I don't ask myself enough what am I putting in my mouth?  And more so, what is coming out of my mouth? 

We may be what we eat, but we people know us by what we say?  What are you saying and sharing with the world?

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to answers for the tough questions and  to questions that will help shape your journey. 'Til we meet again. . .

   

Mizpah

It was also called Mizpah, because he said,

"May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other."

Genesis 31:49

Do you crave silence to truly feel the moment?  Do you crave that connection between you and something bigger, someone important, yourself, or that peace the only God can give?  Its hard today to remove yourself from the noise and excitement of your surroundings.  It is common to hear the whir of electronics and fans especially here in the South. It feels borderline insane to turn off our cell phones. It is just too easy to flip on a radion, television, or computer for connection or even background noise (and let's be honest - some of us flip on all three :)  Even typing these words on the computer I have the music station "The Spirit" playing in the background and a fan whirring over my head. With another ear perked for sounds of my sleeping toddler. 

But two nights ago I sat in silence.  I am reading the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.  It is an interesting book that I picked up at the library because I am a woman who enjoys food and certainly loves God.  One of the activities she mentions is a twenty minute meditation to connect basically with your gut/stomach.  I had recently discussed with my pastor I don't take time to be silent with God.  And when I do take the time to sit down with the complete intention to be silent.  I end up turning the time into a prayer gab fest that then mutates into a random to-do list.  So with those thoughts I told myself it was time to be silent with God.  It was late and my hubby and my son were already submerged into their dreams.  I grabbed the kitchen timer.  The book mentioned twenty minutes but as it was late I didn't want silence to turn into my snoring and elected ten minutes.  I climbed the stairs and left the light on above the stairs.  Grabbed some pretty colorful yarn (a suggestion borrowed from the book) to create a space for me to meet God one on one.  I wrapped the yarn around my seated posture and realized my yarn could have been a tish longer and/or more honestly, that I still have some work to do on my bum size.  All in good time right?  Patience remains a virtue :)   

So here I sit, ready to be silent and meditate on wherever, however God wanted to meet me.  And almost instantly I could appreciate the silence that surrounds me. I could feel my breath connecting to my body.  Slowly, I began to breathe.  Time passes and I feel rejuvenated and then the lists began to form.  Words came to mind to share in this blog entry.  To-do lists started to organize as one thought connected to another.  And quickly I shushed my mind's ramblings.  The book suggests to focus on a repetitive word and when the mind starts to race shut it down by counting seven deep breaths.  I began my counting - one deep breath in and release.  Two - the breath fills the stomach even deeper and exhale nice and long.  Three the breath relaxes me and the departure of breath is let go through a yawn.  Four - five - six and on seven I choose to use the word Mizpah.

I love the comfort of that word.  It was great for a breathing word. Inhale on Miz - exhale on -pah.  Soothing that word flows through the body as it brings images of comfort and connection.  A wonderful feeling as I sink into this silent union with God.  And then I don't know the distraction - a stray thought a physical brush of discomfort and the union is broken as thoughts collide and crash through my mind.  What will I write? How can I share this moment?  What is my schedule tomorrow? Do I have to gather anything tonight? Any food to prep for tomorrow's menu?  Oh don't forget to fold the laundry. Should I do another load tomorrow and eek I wanted to sweep and vacuum tonight but then I didn't. But oh I am going to regret not having that done and yadda yadda yadda.  ENOUGH! ONE - deep dramatic breath in and hasty exhale to clear the clamoring words. 

I would count up to three and start to feel the prayers and thoughts and noises crawling around seeking entrance.  I would start the count over maybe hit the count of four and again the thoughts begin to whirl begging for attention.  By now I want to open my eyes and just peek at the timer.  There is no way it hasn't been ten minutes.  The timer must be broken.  And again INHALE - EXHALE - one. IN- OUT - two, miz pah three - miz. . . pah four....m-i-z . . . p-a-h. . . f-i-v-e; in-hale deep and ex-hale long - six and Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah seven.  Back to silence ready to just be with God.  Who knows how much time passed in the end maybe a minute (or ten seconds :)  and the timer begins to chirp.  And once again I return to my noisy reality.  With promises to God that I will return once again in silence - because everyone needs a chance to speak and for that to happen we must be willing to listen.

May your HealthFULL Journey include time to appreciate the silence and build you up so that you can take on the world full of noise. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Are you just here? Or are you present?

If you have ever read FISH written by Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, and John Christensen) you probably already know that there is a definite difference between being "here" and being present.  A good chunk of the recent years I have been just here (or there :)  but not really present.  I think this is why I have felt like it has been effort some of these days to take this HealthFULL Journey.  I was tired of just being here and not present.

My body would go and fulfill my responsibilities to work, family, and friends.  But rarely was I truly engaged.  I was busy disappearing into the past of good memories, painful lessons, and rehashing relationships and moments that slipped through my fingers for a variety of reasons.  Occasionally I would motivate myself enough to engage myself into lists for the future - some short term and some long term.  But rarely did anyone have my full attention; especially myself.  As I was checking out I was killing myself with food and little to no activity.

Its why FULL stands for Fully Understanding Life by Living.  I wasn't engaging life, I was barely showing up.  As I have taken my sweet time on the scenic route of this journey - I feel some of these days I feel like I am driving 90 mph (and when I was a teenager I received two speeding tickets that prove I know what that feels like - not bragging about that fact just full disclosure).  I feel overwhelmed. I feel thrilled.  I feel joy.  I feel needed. I feel alive.  People come to me with questions.  As I faded into the background those years not too far back few questions nor comments came my way.  A zombie like fill-in doesn't tend to have much enthusiasm to attract people nor seem very wise with their empty stare and the occasional frown. 

I write this entry because I am looking back in my rearview mirror at someone who wasn't living and though I was numb to hurt which I feel is one of the reasons I had shut-down - its only a temporary solution that freezes us out of own lives and out of the lives of those we care about.  Our society seems to be losing control as few and fewer people want to pick up the reins of responsibility.  Honestly, how many households have the discussion what/where should we eat and it last for twenty plus minutes?  And rarely is that a lively debate kind of discussion but a lazy conversation where nobody wants to make the final decision.  Within a week if you have a twenty minute conversation about where/what to eat for supper - that wastes over two plus hours.  For something all of us have to do typically three times a day.  That means it is a possible seven hour time - waster to stall on a weekly basis about what we should eat!  That's insane.  I admit we have that same discussion around here. 

Not only do we waste time, avoid responsibility, but we grab minute details to fixate on and lose the big picture of the moment.  We go to a restaurant as a form of ease and entertainment.  We go to socialize but we get caught up in the minor details.  You can have a good conversation at a restaurant - it is possible.  But rare.  As a family or a group you will have the server interrupt your meal on average five to seven times.  That halts the conversation.  That is kind of hard to have anyway as people are far apart usually and then surrounded by other conversations.  You certainly don't want to shout private news - so that leaves small talk.  It is easy at the dinner table to focus on your meal and be there in the group but not really present as you catch the server to criticize your meal or request a speedier service.  

I write this post heavy on my heart that many of us could find more ways to be involved in our own lives.  Find activities that bless your mind, spirit, and body.  Reach out to community charities.  Sign up for a church function.  The world is crying out for us to take responsibility and engage in our own lives.  But when we're "just here" we miss the cry of those in pain.  When we're just here we miss the laughter of those living in the moment.  When we're just here we miss too much.  But when we're present - no mental lists, no flashbacks of recent arguments, no antagonizing games of "what if" - but really present we are blessed ten-fold -We learn, we connect, we live!

Be present so that you can know this kind of goodness:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. " --Philippians 4:8

May you be present in your life - engaging with those around you and able to offer a helping hand when called. 'Til we meet again. . .