Remembering 2012 with the 5 senses

"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other." - Mark 9:50 NIV

 

 

 

Ahhh! 2012 has come and gone but left an imprint of memories based on our five senses.  On facebook I have been sharing a daily gratitude and in Suzy kind of fashion I managed to catch up my last three today.  My final gratitude for the year was my five senses.  As I have been reflecting as most of us do this time of year and am grateful to be over a cold I have been thinking a lot about our abilities to smell, hear, taste (three of the senses usually lost to bad colds) and the sight and touch off-kilter with these crazy super viruses.  So in honor of this line of thinking I wanted to share five of my favorite experiences with each sense to close out 2012.

 

Sight

 

In January, my little boy received his first haircut.  He went from baby to toddler instantly!

I don't think I could give up watching my husband Corey play with Drew.  They have had a special bond since day one and it blesses my heart to pieces. 

 

September brought sight to my Drew.  I hated glasses and started at age five.  My cutie wasn't even two and they suggested it.  We still don't wear them out of the house (Drew still isn't crazy about the touch on his face - loves to wear them but constantly tugging at them.  And if it is possible they make him a touch more adorable :)

 

The gorgeous sunrise to finish out this year was amazing - with the bright pinks and highlights of oranges and golds.  I wish I could paint it - just breathtaking! 

 

The last would have to be my acceptance letter to Seminary.  I was walking with my son and tore open the letter before we got into the house and started crying.  My son starting to pick up other's emotions came running up to me with a lip quiver.  And then to see my husband's reaction to the news after our son passed him the letter.  There are just some moments that leave such an enduring impression you are forever changed. This was one of them :)

 

 

Sound

 

Number one - my son's voice.  Besides my first conversation ever with my husband (May 1998) I would have to say hands down my next favorite conversation was the morning after we put up our Christmas tree this year and my son starting the conversation with a Whoa!

 

VBS at church this past summer was such a special blessing and I got to co-lead music and to hear these children sing nightly for almost a week.  Their voices lifting up praises to God - Awesome! Truly awesome!

 

Another one that happened recently was when we got to light the Advent Candle and Drew let out his excited cheer at the end.  It felt like the "official" start to Advent equivalent to "Let's play ball!"

 

I love to hear the youth/kids discuss a Sunday School lesson or excited over a story in Godly Play.  There is just that warmth from your heart and burst of energy that flows through you as the children's excitement is contagious!

 

My husband's rich baritone voice offering encouragement, support, and the always touching "I love you's".  Nine years and his voice still races my heart, tingles my toes, and the occasional flip-flop of my stomach. 

 

Smell

 

I am not a big sniffer but I will try my best.  This one is going to sound crazy but diapers.  A fresh diaper just lifts my spirit - it means we get to start over all fresh and clean.  I know - crazy but I am a mom to a two year old -  trust me a diaper is like my alarm clock/scheduler.  The smell is highly telling of how my day is going to be :)

 

I love the smell of pumpkins and cinnamon and those warm autumn scents.  Don't get me wrong I appreciate the sweetness and lightness of summer with berries, melons, and citrus.  But I just love the Autumn season and the warmth and coziness of those smells that they bring to the background. 

 

Our house is starting to take on flavor whiffs as we cook more and more at home especially cooking that uses the crockpot creating those simmering wafts of smell that permeate our home from autumn through winter.

 

Play-doh just seems like a good memory smell of this year as I have definitely been more hands on with the younger population - being a full time mommy, which means playdates, being a nanny, an after-school counselor, and working with the children of our church.  That saltiness of Play-doh seems to be under my nose constantly.

 

The antiquated musty book smell as you open a library book as I have been making it more of a point to find books to read for learning as well as pleasure.

 

Taste

 

MMMMMMMMMMMM.  I am recalling the taste of ice-cream as it is one of my favorites.  It also reminds me of one of my favorite days with my nieces and nephews this summer as we learned the importance of Patience!

 

The saltiness of goldfish is very popular this year as my son discovered a love for them, we serve them at our Feast of Godly Play, and other kiddie events. Definitely the taste of goldfish ranks high for 2012.

 

Ahhh I would have to include my greatest find on Pinterest.  Sour Jewels ( grapes rinsed with water - don't dry - and then roll them in jello powder.  It makes a really cool effect if you coordinate colors.  Black cherry with Black grapes and the most popular lime with green grapes.) Super easy!  Kids love them and there are plenty of worst snacks out there.  I like to think of them as almost the healthy version of sour gummies :)  Used at least four times and a major success each and every time!!!

 

My favorite trick to improving any vegetable is roasting them and my favorite find in 2011 but ate plenty of them in 2012 is roasted Brussel Sprouts!  Oh they have such a fun crisp bite with a wonderful rich nutty flavor after roasting in the oven. 

 

My favorite find of 2012 was roasting my white pumpkin seeds.  Oh so good - sweet, salty, crunchy - YUMMY!

 

Touch

 

This sense I think speaks the most to my heart.  If you like Max Lucado one of my favorite writings that just sits heavy on my heart is found in Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado discussing how he healed the man with leprosy.  It just opened my eyes to how important touch is and how so many of us take it for granted.  Also if you have ever read Gary Chapman's Five Languages of Love he highlights how importance touch is to a loving relationship and how we communicate through touch to/with each other.

 

So my five favorite "touches".

 

The keys of the keyboard clicking under my nails/fingers as a data entry clerk as well as at home blogging or attempting to create new websites.

Beauty days when I was a nanny getting my nails done, my hair, and even my make-up.  I can feel the tugs, and tickles of brushes.  And the giggles at the final "look". 

 

Drew shows support to my work outs by becoming my "obstacle" or extra weight.  He loves to be picked up if I am marching to a DVD.  Or if it is a yoga/pilates one he likes to crawl under or over me or through my legs depending on the stance.  It makes me giggle and breaks up the routine quite often!

 

The best day I had working as an afterschool counselor was the day we explored our senses.  I was responsible for the touching exhibit.  I had eight different textures hidden under a blanket (so as not to be seen) for the kids to explore through touch.  It was fun to watch their eyes not completely sure what they were to feel (all household pantry staples - dry pasta, cooked pasta, shredded carrots, chunked baby carrots, water, dry rice with dry beans, whole lemon, broken saltine crackers).  I offered some of them the chance to opt out but everyone wanted a "go".  Some even brought parents back.  It just was one of those YAY moments :)

 

Of course I saved my favorite for last - cuddles with my two favorite guys - my cozy cuddles with my son as we listen to music, read, or watch television.  And one of the reasons I fall in love with my hubby daily is his all encompassing world protective loving warm embrace - the safest most wonderful place to be is in his arms. 

 

  Whoa! as my son said this year has been quite a wonderful year to remember.  It has felt like a whirlwind at points and then quite a lull during other moments.  Jesus encourages us to remain salty.  To keep adding our flavor to the world so that together we can create the perfect harmonious recipe of peace as we find the best part of ourselves to combine with the best of others to glorify our Wonderful Magnificent Creator.

 

May your HealthFULL Journey help you to remember the good moments that built a stronger flavor of your salt.  And feel free to lose those moments that dull your flavor. Otherwise continue Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life! 'Til we meet again. . .

 

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How would you spend your last 24 hours?

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. 

So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  -- Romans 14:8



 

 

Ho! Ho! Ho! mixed with a little Bah! Humbug! and a teensy bit of "It's the End of the World as We know it!" set to music.  Once again the Christmas season snuck into my life.  I need snow!!! This Southern no snow surrounding plays tricks on my mind that there is loads of extra time.  It is 12-22-12 (and four minutes) as I write this blog.  Which means I am still here and hope the rest of the world is doing as well :) These last couple of days my hubby and I are trying to squeeze in as much of the holiday spirit as we can as most households we have been experiencing colds, bugs, viruses, and just the yucky mean germs.  I have been scrubbing surfaces with one hand and blowing my nose with the other.  And then I looked at the calendar and either the world was supposed to end or I had less than three days to decorate, send out christmas cards, enjoy the holiday, and shop and wrap like there is no tomorrow!  No problem! 

 

We put up our tree while our little two year old slept snugly in his bed and I wish I had taped his reaction.  It was priceless - Speech Therapy is doing wonders as we actually had a spontaneous conversation - a limited vocabulary but he definitely led the topics ;)  And slowly as the week progresses the ornaments are moving farther North on the tree, inch by inch,  I am surprised it is still standing as there is so much weight to the top and none on the bottom :)  I also insisted on Tuesday that we go out and have some Christmas fun and to look at a Christmas Tree festival where local businesses and organizations sponsor and decorate trees.  So many fun themes - my favorites include a snowman, an angel, Wizard of Oz tree, and Special Needs Awareness.  Beautiful and creative and FREE!  What a fun way to find some cheer. 

 

So my question "How would you spend your last 24 hours?" (Obviously assuming you know its your last day.)  This also is predictable around the 12-21-12 date but it was a question I asked my youth Sunday School class last week.  It was my attempt to wrangle in the conversation and facilitate around my point.  However, I was expecting similar answers to mine - something low key with family and friends to just spend time with those we love.  I forgot how teenagers think.  There may or may not have included an answer of peeing off the Eiffel Tower.  And I may or may not have pointed out half your day would be spent traveling encouraging a new answer that only changed the building not the activity.  I also may or may not have had a youth say they would do all of the crazy (good or bad) events they have always wanted to try and spend the last hour in confession to be forgiven.  I appreciated the desire to be absolved but again was looking for time with those we cherish.  But it was their choice and I appreciate their feedback (at least they're talking is the silver lining :)  

 

Also to be fair I was on my third dose of cough medicine mixed with pain relievers/fever reducer and a combination of not such good sleep.  It is hard to be enthusiastic when in the back of your mind you are counting down to climbing back into bed.  But I think that question has hung with me all week.  How do I want to spend my time? I knew the people (my husband and son) and everyone else I love is bonus :)   And though I was 99.9% sure I would see 12-22-12 and many days after I certainly didn't want to miss a special moment with my family.  We have been rushing around like crazy because of the holidays, changes we've made in our household, and just my anxious personality that doesn't want to miss a thing!  My hubby gave me permission the other night as I stood and complained of being overwhelmed.  He gave me permission to just play with my son - to forget the chores/duties/whatever other events were bogging down my spirit.  He encouraged me to have fun and enjoy this precious time.  So today we did.  We admired the tree, we colored, we played fort, we tickled, we giggled, we sung, we ran errands (which got a bit tense) but we brought our dog which pleased my son and puppy to no end :)  And then when my hubby got home we popped some popcorn and watched a Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas which my son was glued to the television.  He agreed to snuggle because I agreed to sit on the floor.  We then went to a live nativity at our church which is amazing!  My son was so excited to see a real camel.  We then told him he could pet it and he took four steps back shaking his head no!  We walked the town, signed the census, saw the shops, and heard some stories. But at the end we saw the Holy Family and heard the angel's message and then heard my own angel sum up the event with a "hee haw" at the donkey and pointed to the star of Bethlehem - telling us to "Look!" "Look!"  We grabbed a cookie for the road and drove around looking at Christmas Lights.  We all agreed on a house that was both beautifully decorated and gorgeous and Drew's approval to live there.  I am guessing it only costs 1.1 million ;)   Kind of out of the stay at home mom's budget but who knows - miracles happen every day :)  We picked up chinese food on the way home - our bug-a-boo went to bed with no fuss.  It really was the way I would like to spend my last 24 hours -  Creating memories with my loved ones, remembering and honoring my Savior's birth, a little bit of indulgence and dreaming, and feeling warmed by the magic of Christmas (Hope, Love, Joy, Peace).

 

May your HealthFULL Journey leave you Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life as you ponder, enjoy, and cherish this Christmas Season.  May you know the Reason for the Season and may you feel surrounded by love. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Boo goes the Pumpkin

But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. - Matthew 13:23

I once was a summer girl.  My birthday was in the summer. We always traveled on our biggest family vacations in the summer. No school!  We would ride our bikes - everywhere! Especially the pool! The taste of freedom on those bikes with just enough breeze a little change in the pocket for the ice cream treats and cold soda cans from vending machines.  And I used to tan this beautiful gold and the sun naturally highlighting my hair.  What happened?  Now I am so not a fan of the summer - it's buggy, hot, and I always feel sweaty and I no longer tan.  I burn pink and then red rather quickly.  No fun!  But autumn?

Oh how I have fallen in love with autumn (Secretly I would love to name a daughter Autumn Rain - I can share this with you as my husband has vetoed this a bajillion times but I am a die-hard dreamer and still holding out hope :) But the temperatures around here are just perfect for layers and jeans.  My favorite outfit.  The leaves are just majestic.  And some of my favorite produce appears in the markets.  I love my berries in the summer those reds and blues and maroon blacks - yummy, sweet and tart.  But when the crispness of the air starts to appear its apple and yes wait for it ..... the beautiful greens, oranges, reddish tones play out for the wonderful Winter squash season - can we say delicious?   And minus the turban squash (my arch-nemesis) the rest of the squash family is always a go-to for a super tasty, filling, and easy side item/entree.  You can see my entry last year how the turban squash and I fought.  I always like to claim victory but as they begin to appear in stores I physically turn my cart around at the sight of these amazingly grotesque but yet disturbingly attractive sculptures of produce.  But no handy chef knife will slide through these heavy duty squashes.  The work did not equal the reward - so I steer clear.  But if you are having an autumn party they would make phenomenal center pieces. 

But yes the squashes have hit the supermarkets and now my home.  We sit with a two spaghetti squashes and one butternut squash (by far the family favorite as it makes a simple but tasty roasted side or can also be used in a cozy heart-warming  soup. )  And here comes our fruit/veggie of the week - A White Pumpkin.  I believe the grocery store just called it a mixed pumpkin. 

Boo - Happy Autumn :)

So why the white pumpkin?  If you have read my produce of the week I am a sucker for non-typical color choices.  Pumpkins are always thought of as orange.  As the white pumpkin sat a couple of weeks on our counter (love that squash has a sturdy shelf life) I always chuckled at the sight of it.  I thought two things.  Its a ghost pumpkin which sounds like a fantastic halloween mascot/symbol.  And two it looks like someone washed away all the orange and here sits this morose pumpkin without its cheery festive orange color.  After several conversations and hints from my husband that it would just make his day to come home and the pumpkin no longer stealing our counter space I decided to tackle the pumpkin project.

Who doesn't have great pumpkin memories?  The carving, the baked goods (my dad makes fantastic pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie and even yummy pumpkin seeds.) This used to be one of our fall traditions.  My dad was in charge of pumpkin duty and I was honored to be his assistant.  I gathered and picked through pumpkin guts when we would carve our two family pumpkins which I believe I did most years up to my junior or senior year in high school.  I do enjoy holiday traditions - the cheesier the activity the better right ? :)  And I was assigned certain duties for pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread - I was ALWAYS the sifter for pumpkin bread.  We had a squeeze sifter that I used over wax paper. After I married my hubby the amazing chef of our household.  He asked me to sift and I was so excited as this was a kitchen task both familiar and fun.  Smiling to myself as I was going to dazzle my hubby with my amazing skills he hands me this tin mug with a crank.  Ummmm what is that?  He shrugged and had the audacity to raise his eyebrows with the reply "A sifter".  Ummmmm no.  My sifter of choice is a tupperware equivalent with a orange top with a handle that you squeeze and part of the top swivels back and forth as it passes the dry ingredients.  Don't give me this lose sieve with a weird crank.  A girl has her pride and loyalty to childhood traditions.  Plus my daddy used to praise my sifting skills my husband again shrugged his shoulders and offered "then don't sift its not that big of deal."  Oh its a big deal! 

But I digress back to the white pumpkin.  It was intimidating!  I tackled the pumpkin in the past as an assistant letting the leader navigate the recipe and the portions.  I don't know what to do with this pumpkin - soup, bread, pastry, treat it like squash?  And the size I wasn't sure exactly how this broke down. One dish, two, three, six? I don't know.  So I decided I wanted pumpkin seeds and to puree the rest and throw it in the freezer until I had the wits about me and measurements.  Wow - I know why I procrastinated with this huge white pumpkin.  It's a lot of work to cook this produce with no true path.  We did roast the pumpkin seeds using the fabulous "Roasted Pumpkin Seeds" recipe from www.epicurious.com    

Ingredients

Ingredients
2 cups pumpkin seeds, rinsed and dried
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 drops hot pepper sauce

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Line a baking pan with aluminum foil.
2. Stir together the pumpkin seeds and butter in a bowl. Add the salt, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, and hot pepper sauce; stir. Spread the seeds in a single layer on the baking pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven until crispy, about 45 minutes.

Read More http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/ROASTED-PUMPKIN-SEEDS-51179871#ixzz2AHWC70SU

Ohhh so good!  I am so debating if we should buy at least one more pumpkin for just the seeds.  Such a tasty snack - little savory, little spice, little salt, little sweet and fantastic crunch!!! When you first cut into the white pumpkin you may be surprised that the flesh is a pale yellow.  I think I still expected that bright orange flesh that screams "Happy Halloween".  But the seeds were pretty easy to remove as the pumpkin guts weren't as gloppy as I remember.  Not sure if that is the difference between the white pumpkin and the traditional orange carving style pumpkins.  Or if I am not the same and didn't puposely dig through the flesh in search of every single seed.

We do things - simple actions, big gestures, innocent comments that people observe, record in their memories and base opinions or judgements.  The quiet moments when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and unscripted are when people truly witness our contributions and our character.  My dad had no idea how much I would still treasure those fall days where we baked pumpkins and I still can see where I sat to sift my ingredients on the wax paper and smell the spice of pumpkin goods.  I can only hope that my son is starting to build his own scrapbook of the memories that will warm his heart about his childhood.  Our witness about our spiritual journeys, our mental conquests, our physical feats, our heartfelt passions, and/or our simple acts of charity need not be grand or over-the-top crazy or perfectly molded - they just need to be sincere.  And hopefully when we do good, with God's grace and blessing some of our actions will be seeds that fall into good soil to encourage the growth of others. May God bless you and keep you - 'til we meet again. . .

Goodbye SweetHeart Goodbye!!!

Goodbye Sweetheart, Good-bye :)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

 a time to be born, and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot, . . .

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance. . .

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-2,4)



How many celebrations have you attended?  Think, relish in these precious memories - weddings, birthdays, graduation parties, baby showers, celebrations for the any old odd reason - its a Tuesday, lost the last tooth, holiday gatherings).  Do you have an idea?  Are you laughing at the memories, the jokes that are retold still today about that occasion?  Now with those pictures in mind - how many sweets are present?  Be honest - no quick glances.  A lot right?  Pretty much every one of those memories has a cake battering (pun totally intended:) itself into those precious pictures.  Why? Because we want to make those memories sweet and special enough for those most delicious, outlandish, beautiful desserts.  Were these events about the cake?(I see some of you nodding - no these events were not about the cake!)  Would we have been disappointed as the host or the guest without that sweet treat?  Now you can nod. . .

We do like to celebrate with a sweet concoction to tie the event together.  We like the honoree to see we want to please all five senses - especially visual and taste.  We want this event to be filed under spectacular and fun and "sweet".  No one is grabbing the bitter melon to leave that nasty aftertaste of bitterness.  We want the event to end on a pleasing sweet note of aroma. 

I ponder this symbol of sweet gifts that we want to treat the occasion with a pile of sugar and to mark  that this day is worth the indulgence.  As I bid adieu to my co-workers of six years I picked up a few coffee cakes and orange juice and chocolate milk.  Even the healthy additions of fruit and milk are loaded with sweetness.  But why not? It was my last day and I wanted to thank them for being so "sweet" over the years.  This was a breakfast treat to say thanks.  They returned their gratitude with cupcakes.  Delicious, moist, mini  cakes topped with sugary mounds of frosting with even the selection of chocolate or vanilla.  Then just in case there wasn't enough sweetness a topping of swirly chocolate.  Remember first paragraph we want to especially delight the visual and taste senses.  I was touched my the gesture and of course showed my appreciation by diving in and even bringing a 1/2 dozen home.  (Don't worry these 1/2 dozen were shared with friends and when I say friends not just the me, myself, and I kind of friend :) 

Desserts are our go-to.  They say thanks and this moment is special.  They are easy to be made from scratch and even more simple to pick up from the store.  And say congratulations or farewell!  But another way to look at these sweet treats besides ahh sweet gesture wanting to treat me.  "Here is a pound to add to your frame as a reminder of us here."  And usually we respond through years of training - thanks for the extra pound I am going to carry this pound on my chest next to my heart :)  It is always nice to be remembered but maybe our indulgences for those special occasions have became a little too ordinary - and the occasional indulgence has become more of a daily excuse for excess.

I love the scripture that I opened with.  Ahh Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 you phrase life so eloquently - "there is a time to weep and a time to laugh".  Note how the scripture says that there is A time.  It doesn't say everytime or all the time we should laugh or weep.  Or in this blog eat every sugary treat offered.  Because you will be to many birthdays, many weddings, and many other "special" occasions.  It is okay to say no to the sweet treat offered.  It is okay to just cherish the memory without submerging yourself into the sugar induced coma.  I say all this to myself.  Because I like any excuse for indulgence.  It's "Janie's" birthday - happy birthday Janie pass the cake.  What its three o'clock Tuesday afternoon - where's the doughnut?  Happy Tuesday everyone!  You get the point? 

I loved that my co-workers took time and effort to say good-bye.  But the cupcake was gone within a minute.  The card that I had to read after work (My eyes might have started to water upon opening the card) will be cherished for a long while and the memories with my co-workers even longer. 

As the song goes:

Goodnight, sweetheart
Well,it's time to go
Goodnight, sweetheart
Well, it's time to go
I hate to leave you, but I really must say
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight

May your HealthFULL Journey include many special occasions worth celebrating and may you truly celebrate to your heart's content. Because there is a time indulge but also a time to abstain. 'Til we meet again. . .

 

Feeling a bit Royal

I am feeling a bit royal these days as we fill our fridge with purple - the color of royalty.  Our household missed last week's new veggie so we doubled up our new produce this week and happened to pick two purple veggies.  This was quite noticeable as even our cashier asked if we were on a purple food spree.  It's rare to find a truly purple food.  I guess with the two items side by side it registered a comment.  What are the two veggies?  I am sure you have tried both these veggies but possibly not the purple varieties - cauliflower and bell pepper.  Both delicious! and Attractive! 

So PRETTY!

Both of these veggies are similar to their rainbowed friends.  So if you are looking to add a splash of color in a veggie tray - these are beautiful choices.  I don't know if I should admit this but the purple cauliflower was my muse for photography as I captured thirteen pictures (I know - crazy! but kind of fun!) and those were my keeper pictures as I deleted quite a few.  The purple is kind of intense.  I did sample the cauliflower raw.  I am not a huge cauliflower fan in the raw state - steam it, mash it, melt cheese and I am a happy camper. (My mom used to make the best cheese sauce for cauliflower when I was growing up).  I sort of like the texture as the florets have a crunch with give but the aftertaste just gags me.  The purple variety has a mild flavor where you can feel the texture more than the flavor but still had that afterbite.  We did what we tend to do with a whole head of cauliflower - quick boil until tender and then a good ol' mashing.  When we boiled the cauliflower it turned the water almost an intense purple - it reminded me of an old Kool-Aid flavor I enjoyed - Purple Saurus rex I think - ah the memories :)  I wish I could have thought of a good use for the water - it seemed such a waste to toss out the prettily interesting liquid.  The mash isn't quite as pretty but my toddler son was a huge fan of the purple mash.  It made him giggle.  But then most things do :) 

Look at this regal pepper!

Unto the purple bell pepper.  I enjoy a good bell pepper.  I remember teasing a youth about her taste for red bell peppers.  I let her and her sister pick their favorite fruit or veggie.  She picked red bell peppers.  At this time the only pepper I had tried was potently bitter green peppers.  (I think peppers are special to me because I can't think of green peppers without thinking of my dad.  He would grow them in his backyard garden.  And there were few things he dislikes eating but when as a family my mom would pick a family favorite that my dad just wasn't a fan she would make him these hideous stuffed green peppers. At least that's how I felt about them growing up - now it sounds like a tasty supper option :)  Back to this youth chose the red bell pepper.  I asked her what she was going to do with the pepper.  She responded like a teenager does - eat it with that questioning duh kind of stare.  Umm thanks what I meant is HOW are you going to eat it.  Slice it up and chew.  Huh.  Really?  Because I equate peppers as adult food and something you dice up for a recipe.  But just to eat the slices befuddled my nineteen year old mind.  My veggie intake revolved around the almight potato and corn for some color.  And sadly I was not eating red meat or pork at this time.  I had many many meals over that time span of five years that were just fries or mashed potatoes.  And I wonder why I have trouble with my blood sugar.  Well fast forward to now and I love bell peppers.  I am still not a huge fan of the green bell pepper.  But red, orange, yellow are always welcomed in my fridge and we tend to at least have one or two in the crisper.  To any dish they can add color, a little sweetness, and just a little kick, plus they are incredibly versatile for me as I eat them raw or cooked.  Well the purple can also be added to the mix.  Although they seem pretty rare and tend to cost a little more than their buddies.  I also would say the purple bell pepper (try to say that three times quickly!) is the closest in flavor to the green bell pepper.  It doesn't quite have the sweetness and had a tish more kick than the brighter peppers.  But we ate it sliced up in our big dinner salad Saturday night and I finished up the rest of the slices for lunch.  So definitely tasty! 

You may have noticed that both veggies brought back some cozy memories.  Thats what happens with food we romanticize and capture sweet memories.  It isn't the food that we crave for comfort - its what memories it carries.  We make memories around the dinner table with conversations, occasionally arguments, and we also make them in the kitchen as we share about our day and pass on traditions of our family and our culture.  I love to share in my husband's pride for New Orleans and the flavors and aromas that bring that twinkle in his eye of remembrance.  I like to think that there are veggies that remind me of my dad instantly - not just bell peppers but also spinach (because he hates it!) and radishes because he makes sandwiches out of just radishes.  I like to think of my mom taking the time to cook my favorite cheese sauce because she wanted to make me smile.  I remember we used to have this bear little figurine that either read you're a superstar or you're special on a star shaped mirror.  That would appear now and then as a congratulations to a job well done or a happy birthday. 

There's a lot to be said about the dinner table movement.  Don't lose your family to schedules.  Remember to take that time to discuss your day and share in each other's lives.  Its hard to turn off the television ban telephones and sit face to face it what has become an electronic world.  But do you want your children's memories to be electronic based or the aromas and flavors and laughter filled memories of sitting around the table and really sharing your lives by breaking bread?  So yes after our purple cauliflower and purple bell pepper I am feeling a bit royal as I remember how my parents allowed me to feel like a princess and now how my hubby and son treat me feel like a queen. 

May your HealthFULL journey show you the blessings of living like royalty.  Cherish your treasures of love, friendship, joy, blessings, adventure, and time. 'Til we meet again. . .

Dual Journeys

Do you ever feel split?  Are you being "real"?  Or are you living as a fictional character? How can you tell?  Great philosophers and comic relief paraded on television has pondered what is real?  And now so do I.  It is no secret that I play the "what if" game often.  But tonight I got caught up in the movie "You've Got Mail" starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.  Who have had phenomenal romantic character history (Sleepless in Seattle, anyone? ;)  I didn't get sucked into this movie once but twice.  There are just some great lines.  And as I mentioned this to my husband for the second time tonight.  I mused out loud how this movie really is one of the best romantic movies for this sap right here. 

First it features a love story where the couple meets online.  That's my love story.  I randomly met my hubby in a teen chat room at seventeen and him sixteen.  I guarantee neither of us thought that first conversation full of laughter and jokes would be the start to our happily ever after - especially with him at that time in Lousiana and me up in the cold tundra of Minnesota and that somehow fourteen years later we would be married for nine years with a toddler in South Carolina.  But here we are and I couldn't be happier.  Or could I?  That's where the dual journey takes place.  The other part about You've Got Mail besides the sappy, cheesy lines that are pure genius (that's not my dad that's my nephew.  or "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.")  but it takes place in New York.  Oh, how I <3 NY!!!

That was my dream university.  I applied nowhere else as a senior in high school except for NYU.  This sounds arrogant or flighty but I never pictured a reality where I didn't get accepted to the Tisch School of Arts.  I remember opening that thin envelope - so hoping that the envelope only SEEMED small.  Nope it was my rejection letter.  Talk about true heart break.  But the next piece of mail I opened was my acceptance into a traveling theatre ministry.  And though New York rejected me Los Angeles beckoned.  It was a God moment and I know I took the right path (especially as there seemed to be very few other options :) .  But oh how I have relived that moment.  What if I had a better audition? Or what if I had sent my tape in sooner?  What if I had flown out to the school? What if I had moved to New York without college? 

I have been to New York twice.  Once as a sophomore in high school - although my love affair with this amazing city started far earlier in the romantic language of books and the visual poetry of movies.  And once driving through.  Seriously - we drove straight through.  Maybe I knew if I stopped I wouldn't get back in the car. . .  Sometimes I watch movies and it makes me wistful for the romantic independent heroine I could have been in that amazing city.  Carrie Bradshaw meet Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail) with a bit of Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity).  I envisioned myself writing, often seeing the best theater perhaps acting now and then.  Loving and living in my cute studio apartment eating Chinese food and enjoying the characters of the street and the events that randomly appear and occur in this city that never sleeps.  But thats not realistic is it?  Oh how it has been in my heart and thoughts for years these daydreams of what could've been, perhaps even the occasional should've been.  A more accurate portrait would be me crying that I can't scrape together rent to sleep in my roach infested not so quaint studio apartment.  That I have been eating ramen noodles for two years straight and when I feel big spenderish I splurge for hot dogs.  The only theatre news I catch is picking up playbills littered on the street.  This may be a closer picture of reality that I might have made a nightmarish daydream to comfort myself.  But you get the idea.

Instead I am blessed with the happiest little boy who giggles all the time.  You should have seen him strut his stuff today as he was given the all important mail duty of carrying the mail from the mailbox to inside the house :)  A husband who is tall dark and handsome and so incredibly kind and supportive and brilliant and loving and so much more.  Friends I adore, family who is near and supportive.  A job that takes care of my needs.  A church that is growing.  So many more blessings than I can count nor deserve by any means.  That's real.  That's tangible.  And yet there is still a piece of my heart and thoughts that wander usually to New York.  But that grabs memories and holds them up to the light of what ifs.  Or future scenes to create "ideal" situations and opportunities. 

I think it is this dual journey that causes me grief.  Because as I push on in my real life the fantasy life of memories, daydreams, alternate endings has a way of pausing reality and hiding the screen of true blessings.  I get derailed from my goals to live a healthier version of my life because I get confused what's real and what's not.  The what's not sometimes is so tempting and "perfect" that even though we know we're dreaming we can't quite shake ourselves "awake".  But then we miss the opportunities that can be so much richer if given the proper attention.

Its good to dream.  Its good to remember.  But don't get stuck. Don't get confused which is real and which is not.  Don't lose today because of what was or what could be.  Today holds the treasure.

May your HealthFULL Journey be an intense journey filled with wonder, dreams, successes, failures, heartbreak.  Because it is the FULL Journey that is real and not just the illusion. 'Til we meet again. . .

March for Babies One - by - One Hurrah!

Resting in the NICU

We marched as a family for our Early Bugs at this year's March for Babies this past Saturday.  Do you have flashbacks?  Those smells, those sounds, those pictures that in tv land make everything go swirly as you reattach to your past.  The memories flow from your heart to your brain and you've faded from the present world.  No longer do you hear the radio, the tv, or even the person sitting three feet away.  You are busy living in the past.  I bundled my memories of the NICU into a little present and rarely open the package.  Its overwhelming.  Maybe I am a tish scared, a bit angry, and yet overwhelmed with love and gratitude and feeling blessed. 

My sister-in-law made a fabulous t-shirt of my niece (born at 24 1/2 weeks and 1 lb. 6 oz) and my son (born at 29 weeks and 3 lb 11 oz.).  The t-shirt had them sitting next to each other at his baptism and then side by side a picture of each of them within the first few hours of their life which means they were in the NICU.  The sight of them side by side overloaded my heart as memories of their first days, weeks, months rushed through my thoughts.  So many emotions rocked through my body and the only release was tears. 

The NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) is like another world.  You are buzzed into this semi lit huge room after scrubbing your arms down and as the doors shut all of the "world" problems - bills, politics, relationships, duties, chores, responsibilities tend to disappear.  There is no nice fade - out they just don't matter.  What matters is that tiny tiny person teaching all of us the importance, the challenge, the blessings, and the love that exists in that precious moment.  The beeps in the outside world that would drive me CRAZY with annoyance.  But here in the special world of the NICU - offer reassurance because they are telling us the answers all about our son to our questions that he can't ever answer.  Its a world where nurses tend to have one to two patients as there are so many needs to fill because the patients are so fragile.  And the best reward is when you are allowed to hold your child.  There are so many fears (germs, oxygen levels, blood pressure, pulse, weight, feeding, R.O.P. and the list rattles on forever) but when that permission is granted and you can just bond with your child as you dreamed of upon learning the news you were going to be a parent.  Your heart bursts and your body fills with warmth and the world goes quiet.  I never take a cuddle with my son for granted. 

He's doing amazing.  And his journey was less chaotic than so many of his roommates.  Its why we still support the March of Dimes as a family.  We know that the research is teaching us about ways to prevent prematurity and other birth defects and also to guide us to protect and provide for those that are born with a challenge.  I don't know what its like to leave the NICU and know your child won't see their nursery that you lovingly planned and set up.  But I pray for these parents who do. 

Our Early Bugs!!!

We walked as a family over 10000 steps (according to my pedometer).  We raised $625.00 of our $750.00 goal (you can still donate at www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1731408 if you would like to help us reach it or even better SURPASS our goal).  We took pictures and we spent time walking side by side and being grateful for two preamature babies who are running us ragged as toddlers.  And all of us couldn't be more delighted!

May your HealthFULL Journey swirl in with those precious memories that remind you where you've been and motivates you to healthier choices of your future journey FULL of Health.

'Til we meet again. . .

Mrs. Mommy

My hubby Corey and I joke a lot - his sense of humor and mine just meld so we laugh and joke together a lot.  Well in one of our jokefests he started to call me Mrs. Mommy.  Which I giggled alongside him.  But the nickname has stuck in my head as quite a poignant remark.  Very rarely do I still feel Suzy for more than ten minutes at a time.  Most of the time I feel like a Mrs. or Mommy and very often a Mrs. Mommy.  As you read this it is important to know this - I count the reasons behind both of these titles my biggest blessings here on Earth.  BUT...if I am to be completely honest wasn't my dream titles (I am so proud to be both today just not what I envisions years ago).  Hear me out though. . .

Titles are funny things.  We crave them.  We work for them. We like to give them.  We as humans love labels.  They give us pecking orders. They give us futures to desire.  They give us people to dislike or at least labels to pin the blame so we don't have to face that emotion factor.  We tend to wear our titles for reasons of pride, classification, clarification, honor, and a million other reasons.  It wasn't that I didn't want to be a wife nor a mom.  I figured someday in my distant thirties I would most likely have a husband.  And perhaps a child.  But I really didn't "crave" either.  There were three titles I have shared my desire for since I was young (when thirty seemed a distant future and not a recent memory).  I wanted to Aunt Suzy (I have a theory that most people have an Uncle Bob or an Aunt Suzy - there was not extensive research and this was discovered from a small sample pool.  But most people I know have an Uncle Bob or an Aunt Suzy).  I enjoy kids.  I think they are funny, nothing makes me feel more loved than cuddling with a youngster especially singing songs together or reading and find it fascinating to join forces with their creative minds.  But I also enjoyed giving them back to their parents at the end of the day.  This sounded like a great start to following my call of being an Aunt.  (This dream did come true and I love my nieces and nephews - they are fabulous, precious, smart, creative, funny, sweet, kind, and beautiful.  I am so grateful God answered my prayers on that front!)  Another title I wanted to be was a Countess, an Italian Countess ( I <3 Italy!). I was serious about this career/lifestyle choice.  For years I hired my perfect entourage - I had court jesters, I had garbage collectors, ladies in waiting, chefs, event planner, preacher - pretty much everyone but the actual Italian Count. When I was in eighth grade we had to do research for our future career.  The guy who sat in front of me asked what I planned to be when I was a grown-up.  I said I already know but the research will be hard.  He asked me what I wanted to be.  Straight answer " A countess".  His reply "Is that like a female accountant?"  And I looked at him strangely (I now as adult realize that probably should play out the other way), but in the brief exchange I realized two things.  One) I simply had not shared my future intentions with enough people if this guy had no clue what I was talking about and Two) that not everyone saw this title as an average realistic option.   So I ended up researching my third dream title for this eighth grade research project - a Broadway stage actor.  I still haven't been to Italy (probably the best place to find an Italian Count - but I think my Louisiana Prince might get jealous :)  But I did go to school for Theatre as my major which became my minor the second time around.  I didn't make it to Broadway to perform but have performed (for money) in 5/50 states (MN, ND, MT, AK, and CA) and Canada.  So we'll call that a 1/2 title realized - 50%.  Not bad.

So you see I had what I thought were big dreams - big Suzy dreams.  But I fell in love at nineteen - not puppy love that starts off amazing and fizzles usually just as dramatic.  But to the core fell in head over heels full hearted completely committed true love.  I got married at twenty-two and became a Mrs. . .  in North Dakota.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  However, my thirteen year old version of myself saw a completely different picture - Italy was involved (which the full fantasy was to turn one of our Italian castles into an impressive internation theatre school), and my title wasn't Mrs. it would be Countess.  

And the mommy factor.  Whew!  Not that I was against having children.  It was always a future dream.  We even dreamt in our early thirties we would like to have kids.  Thats a great talk when you are twenty-four and married to a great partner.  When you're thirty and pregnant, that dream talk a little too real.  Which sounds after writing that line like we completely planned when we were having children - completely a God thing that shocked us out of the blue.  I have had a lot of friends who have had a variety of female issues and conception is difficult if not impossible (but a few of those impossibles have been PLEASANTLY BLESSED! Praise God!)  So, knowing this I figured God didn't burden my heart with desire because I honestly thought between my weight and other factors that I probably couldn't conceive at least without medical assistance.  I was terrified of the responsibility of being a mom.  As an aunt I figured I could only do minimal damage of anyone's psyche that could be repaired by their parents, selves, and God.  But complete responsibility for another human being I found that frightening to a degree I can' even verbalize.  My esteem like most areas of my life go extreme - I can do anything (like be an Italian Countess) or nothing right (which I kind of placed Mommyhood in that category for me). 

I love my son.  God granted (and my hubby helped) answer the deepest desire of my heart that I couldn't even vocalize.  I wept for days when I took my first pregnancy test (while pregnant) and it showed a negative.  I then hyperventilated when I took one three weeks later and there was a plus sign where I tried to tell my husband between hysterical tears that turned into hysterical laughter the news. In my defense, I had taken at least forty pregnancy tests in my lifetime and not once had there been a plus. Its a little surreal.  Then to really throw me off my A-game, my son was eleven weeks early.  If you know me I tend to run ten minutes late to everything and am a procrastinator to the hilt.  And my son arrives not just early - but super early!!! 

If I was to describe Suzy.  I would say she's funny, fun, playful, creative, and a bit loud.  But those words for Mrs. Mommy seem to be inappropriate.  So sometimes, I feel lost; because of this ideal image I have for Mrs. Mommy.  A woman who cares for her guys and takes care of them - perfectly.  I forget the title may change what some people call me, but not who I am.  I still am Suzy who just happens to be married to a great guy and the happiest little boy (seriously this kid giggles and smiles - ALL the time).  I try to be organized and early as Mrs. Mommy.  I try to cook, clean, and still look "relaxed".  But as I try to be Mrs. Mommy I lose a little bit of Suzy who is the one who received those titles. 

So what's in a name?  Appearance, effort, but it doesn't change the person - at least its not supposed to. So here I write as Suzy who also happens to be Mrs. Mommy.

May you earn the titles life bestows you, but never forget the person you were when you received them. 'Til we meet again. . .              

Moments that catch you offguard

You know that moment.  When you hear a song in the elevator and you whisked back to high school.  When you bump into a stranger and for the briefest second reminds you of a dear old friend.  You hear a voice in a crowded restaurant and you know you have heard it before.  And the trails to the past come linked together.  If you allow one memory they easily latch together and can overwhelm you.  I have felt so overwhelmed lately.  Lack of sleep, lack of control, lack of that "something".  I am reminiscing because I had a "moment" recently, one of those moments that you know in that second is a life lesson.  Maybe you can't pin it down but you know something significant has changed. 

I was shopping with my little one.  Getting impatient because it was for those tedious items we use everyday but no one likes buying.  TP and toiletries, essential kitchen stapes yadda yadda yadda.  In search of our toiletries we were on a mission to replace the pouf (think fancy sponge).  I found a fancy girly pouf and threw it in the cart, although I really just wanted the standard cheaper version.  I've noticed they both need replacing about the same.  Ahha!  Found it.  I chucked my fancy pouf in the box with the standards and plucked a cheaper from the pile into my cart.  Seven steps I flip flopped my way forward in haste to finish our chore.  But one glance down into those pretty blues and half tooth smile, I quickly retreated backwards seven steps without even a mere glance.  Claimed my fancy pouf and loofah brush (not mine) and headed back to the fancy pouf aisle.  Because in that one glance down I realized my mistake for two reasons.  One I used to complain when I had to return items of lazy shoppers that couldn't put their item away (or at least bring to the cashier so that it can be returned to the proper place).  I just know my misplaced pouf would cause a duel.  And I grabbed the loofah brush because we should go the second mile for others.  And really the brushes hang two inches to the left of the fancy poufs.  But the real motivator is the little guy.  He isn't quite ten months old.  Will he remember this life lesson?  No.  But I will and I know someday he will be watching and he will understand.  And copying what he sees.  I'm not perfect, but that shouldn't stop me from making corrections when I can.  We shared a moment that reminded me not to give in to the immediate gratification of moving on.  Remembering that my careless act would cause others extra work, extra hassle, and extra cost.  It was one small gesture, but the lesson resonated.  We usually only learn a moment's significance in hindsight.  But what a precious gift to realize the importance during the moment.  Having a son has changed me, my heart, my thoughts, and my priorities.  I list time, health, faith, and love pretty high these days.  All so precious, and all so fleeting. 

May your HealthFULL Journey magnify those precious life learning moments so that you can truly enjoy them in the moment. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Capturing the Prize

Ahh the holidays.  When you're a kid the world is full of magic and the holidays have a way of reminding us of it.  The Fourth of July used to be one of my favoritest of days.  (Yes Favoritest!) It meant a family day having a picnic in a huge park with tons of community games that can only happen in a true home grown event.  Where there are watermelon eating contests, capturing people in park jail for charity and giggles, tossing water balloons, ring toss, and other assorted games with radio DJs spicing up the event with music and talent like shows.  There was an art to dressing up in just the three colors of red, white, and blue. After the picnic the day is to be enjoyed because it is summer and friends are all over the neighborhood. Before dusk friends I would gather some easy to handle snacks, a boombox (So eighties/nineties I realize), and some blankets.  My dad would set up the extension ladder and as dusk begins to settle my friends and I would make several half trips up the ladder to claim all of our loot. Before my friends and I were old enough to "hang out" on the roof, my dad would chaperone or I'd go up with my brother.  There was something so special about being up on the roof.  It certainly wasn't an everyday activity.  But then after we had are giggles and moment of adjusting to the slanted roof we would settle in for the fireworks display.  Together we would ooh and ahh and sing along to the patriotic cheesy music. We proudly stood up with "God Bless the USA".  And when memories are beginning to be made in your mind you don't realize how much you will cherish the moment or those silly but precious traditions. But you do.  After the show we would gather our stuff to head back down the ladder (though it was fun to drop snacks and blankets off the roof).  We then would have our own private display of pretty fireworks (I was not into things that went bang for no other reason than to go bang.)  But "pretties" I appreciated and would occasionally light.  But my favorites were the smoke bombs (bye bye Mosquitoes), glow worms (because how cool is it to see a 1/4 inch pellet grow into 3 - 4 inches), Sparklers (because you can spell your name and your crush's - come on we've all done it!) and the Bloomin' Flowers/Jumpin' Jacks (they're just so pretty!).  But this year I realized how much effort really is put into the holiday magic.  And I am saddened to admit that I opted out.  No family picnic, not even a sparkler for my lil' eight month old (though we did both dress in only red, white, and blue).  But we will.  Today we just had a quiet day at home.  But what event spurned this trip down memory lane.  A toy from a cereal box.  I am trying out different snacks that we'll satisfy my sweet tooth without equaling 2000 calories or will spurn me into eating lots of snacks that still equal mega calories. So with this guideline I have bought some old childhood cereal favorites that happened to be on sale.  And tonight as I grabbed a snack bowl to munch, the toy dropped from the box.  It brought a smile to my lips because how many adults can say they got the toy.  Oh I remember shoving my hand into many of cereal boxes for the prized toy.  And how parents would complain to wait for it to fall naturally.  (Yeah Right!).  But today the toy fell from the cereal I bought for myself.  It reminded me that over the years I have gained patience but I lost that magic and drive to get what I want.  So with my toy in hand I am reclaiming the fun in my life.  It is good to have patience and to be responsible but it's also important to not sacrifice ourselves and our ways to others' expectations. 

May your HealthFULL Journey point you towards your Healthy future while helping you to cherish your past.  'Til we meet again. . .