Turn the Page

        You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You annoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. - Psalm 23: 5-6

 

Ahh!  Turn the page - its such an exciting moment for readers.  What turn will the story take?  Are the words leading to something exciting or is it time to take a step back and learn more information?  Is the journey expected? Anticipated? Or thrilling with twists and turns?  And the ending what will I feel when the ending happens?  Some are satisfying - some are plain upsetting and my favorite stories are the one that leave you mesmerized.  These can be biographies or self help or novels and yes...the Bible.  I don't know of anyone who picks up the Bible one day starts at Genesis works through the Old Testament into the New Testament and finishes with Revelation all in one day.  It is actually uncommon for many people to do that with a year.  We like to pick through our favorite books, our familiar passages, and mentally nibble on these scriptures as we contemplate life, ponder our purpose, and wonder about our wandering. 

 

 

The above picture is my actual Bible.  I have other versions and copies of the Bible.  But the actual book pictured?  It's my favorite.  Its stolen - don't worry the first owner has knowledge of this theft and has even given his blessing of its home now being with me (even if it is begrudgingly ;)  I can't tell you all the places this book has traveled but it has seen most of the U.S. from Florida to Alaska and much in-between.  But what would be even more challenging to tell you is - where I've traveled with this HealthFULL Journey. 

 

Some of the days I turn the pages of this book my life dramatically shifts.  Somedays it is my mood - I may come to these verses: lost, confused, bitter, depressed, thrilled,but I walk away confident, encouraged, with purpose, grateful, energized, or somber.  Some readings have led to dramatic results - applying for new jobs, accepting volunteer opportunities, facing school yet again.

 

Yep -That is my new page.  I was reading the 23rd Psalm for a bible study to finish off the week.  Here this Psalm that many of us are familiar and yet this reading had a profound impact as if I was reading it for the first time.  This assignment came right after I received my letter of invitation to seminary to study for my Master of Divinity. I am excited, apprehensive, confident, overwhelmed, and yet when I read these verses - peace from the Holy Spirit just wrapped their arms of comfort and held me.  This book is more than words on a page - it is a Living Breathing Word of today. 

 

I remember one of my first classes from college that opened with two students pairing up and answering a couple of questions.  The first question we were to ask of each other is "What is the Bible?"  I was extremely confident that college would be a breeze as I obviously "knew" the right answer to this question.  I smiled proudly and said "The Bible is the Word of God." Ready to take my bow in delight.  My partner responded something along the lines of  "A book of myths that Christians see as history and use as a manual in their faith".  *Eyebrows raised*  What?!?!? That is not what My Church teaches!  I was ready to raise my hand and tell the professor that my partner was sadly mistaken.  But I realized then that I had a lot to learn in life.  So I did not tattle and began to wrestle with that choice.

 

13 years later I have to confess I still think my answer was the right answer ;)   I just have a lot more reasons to back it up besides my church saying so.  I have that experience of studying, wrestling, reading, pondering, and even the pleasure of just listening to these verses.   Do I know all there is to know about the Bible.  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  So everyday I pick it up and Turn the page. . .oh what exciting places we'll go. 

 

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to places and experiences you couldn't imagine in the past, but appreciate for the future journey, and couldn't even fathom living without them in today's path. May each turn of the page encourage a journey that leaves you Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life. 'Til we meet again. . .

A Step of Faith

Peter answered him, "Lord if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."

He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat,

started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. --Matthew 14:28-29

When we have faith and by the power of God we too can walk on water.



The world can be scary and anxiety ridden.  If you watch the news on tv or read headlines you can spot how the world wants to shock us and sometimes downright frighten us.  But even when we are exposed daily to criminal statistics and the declining numbers of the economy we sometimes have to dig deep and hang tight to our faith and share our joy.  I work for a good company who has treated me well and supported me in ways I couldn't even imagine.  This was the perfect job for me when I started as I needed a quiet place to heal.  I had collected hurts and wore grief like a sweater.  I needed a job with enough responsibility to keep me focused and busy and protected from too many demands that could and would hinder the healing process.  However,  I have felt the stirring that this job is not my final calling.  And again I cannot stress how great many of my co-workers have been over the years. 

God gives us each gifts.  Gifts that will bring us joy as they fulfill the desires of our hearts that he planted when we were first created.  He allows us the opportunity to serve Him and glorify him with our talents.  I now feel it is time to develop other talents of mine before they get snuffed out.  Its scary though to leave the comforts of a company that I have known for six years.  It is especially frightening to leave a job of any type especially one with some nice benefits and enough money to help with those monthly bills when so many people are looking.  Logically, this is the time to hunker down until the unemployed storm passes.  But faith isn't about being comfortable. Because  stepping out in faith rarely includes a safety net.  And having faith and being logical aren't always synonymous. 

So, today I took a step of faith - I turned in my resignation letter.  There is one part of me that wants to cling to the boat - its safe, its comfortable, and most invitingly; its familiar.  But the major part of me is so excited to see what is happening outside this boat and to feel the water under my feet if it be God's will to grant me the chance to walk on water.  I have a summer job lined up as I will spend the majority of my summer with the most fabulous kids in the world.  In my heart I feel this will be a summer I treasure forever as I get the opportunity to view the world from six children's eyes - ages ranging from nineteen months to thirteen years old. 

Another gift I look forward to living - I get to live as one of my daydream figures.  I always thought I could make a pretty great nanny.  Here's my chance to not just imagine this thought; but to actually live the dream.  The saying goes - Our regrets are not the mistakes we make in life but the chances we never take.

You may be wondering where is the step of faith?  You already have a job.  And not only a job but a dream job that you have waited to try for years.  The faith is that I know I am giving up my "comfy" seat at an office that I have been a part of for the past six years to enjoy nine weeks of the summer dream.  Because then school starts and the job disappears.  I know a lot can happen in almost three months.  I know that it is silly to worry that far in the future.  But I also know there are realists who are screaming stay put because nine weeks goes too fast and there are people who have been seeking jobs for two years. 

But with peace in my heart and joy bubbling from within I am stepping out of the boat because I feel with every fiber in my body Jesus called and said "Come".  So I step.  Walk with me and if you have time I could use an extra prayer or two.  A prayer to stay faithful because "worry" likes to nibble at the toes.  A prayer to stay present so that I can remain patient, involved, and be blessed as six children share their excitement and frustrations.  And last a prayer for God's will when fall comes and that whatever the next step of faith is that I once again can clearly hear "Come" (a smooth transition would be a great bonus :) .

May your HealthFULL Journey reveal those precious opportunities where a step of faith may be nerve-racking but so exhilarating.  'Til we meet again. . .



We need a little Christmas

I love Christmas.   It holds so many precious memories for me.  Obviously the Reason for the season is most important.  (Thank you God for your most precious gift!!!)  But call me cheesy, but the Christmas magic is so uplifting.  I have had some rotten Christmases (mono, post-concussion, horrible flu, strep throat so extreme I can' close my mouth and the list continues.) But that's not what I remember.  I remember family traditions of marching to Silent Night.  I think of hot dogs and German potato salad on Christmas plastic plates that belong on Christmas place mats easily reaching their second decade. I can taste the sweet coolness of egg nog as we unwrap gifts one by one and laughing as a family for hours.  Usually with/at my brother's reaction (but in our defense, he truly is the hardest person in the world to shop for!)  I love Christmas so much I was determined to have a Christmas themed wedding.  Which usually means a December date.  However, my husband and I lived in North Dakota/Minnesota.  (literally fifteen minutes apart).  Blizzards are a normal occurrence during the winter and as our bridal party and close family were traveling from eight states we really couldn't predict if everyone would be able to make it.  Also we got engaged in October and wanted to be married within a year.  So we got our Christmas theme but celebrate our anniversary in July.  (Get it? Christmas in July :)  (First before you judge we got awesome deals on all decorations :) 

But second?  No one else can choose what matters to you or understand to what depth you care.  We choose our attitude, we feel what we feel, and we control our actions .  So in the end we have to fight for what we want.  In a healthFULL Journey.  Not every choice is perfect.  Not every decision is "right".  But hopefully most of the actions and choices will lead us each to our "true" goals.

This thought is on my heart as we are days away from Christmas.  The hustling and bustling is all around.  And it is easy to get caught up in the chaos.  But hopefully we don't all get swallowed up.   Today my hubby and I had a rare day off together and packed up our son and hit the shops.  We had a long to do list - presents and then our daily house needs.  We accomplished a lot.  But when your list is a mile long it is hard to feel completely finished.  And after a long day (with a ton of walking) there was a wonderful Christmas moment.  My son was in his pjs.  Enjoying his last milk for the day and we cuddled together on our recliner (Which happened to be bought exactly a year ago in anticipation of our son's arrival home from his 44 day stint in the NICU).  Dinner was in the oven for the adults (chicken with creamed spinach and a mushroom risotto).  (LOVE Freezer veggies in steamer packs - easy way to get some veggies in a hurry).  Hubby was sitting next to us.  Few lights on with the Christmas tree and Charlie Brown's Christmas on.  The moment was quiet, comforting, and love-filled.  So yes Christmas can be crazy.  But in those quiet moments exist a beautiful breath of the Christmas spirit.  Those moments are worth fighting for. 

May your HealthFULL Journey get you closer to your goals and highlight the moments that are too precious to lose.  Don't forget we all need a little Christmas!  'Til we meet again. . .  

And God Laughs. . .

You remember the last good joke you heard?  Do you notice the difference of your reaction from the first time you heard the joke from the second?  I am talking a doozy of a joke that you can't wait to repeat and even when telling it you chuckle because you know the punchline.  Well God decided to share a joke with me - we'll call it Friday the 14th :)  Oh  how God chuckled throughout the day knowing the punchline.  I however nervously tittered throughout the day with a few tears springing to my eyes as I "waited" with anticipation for the punchline.  Let's see if you appreciate the punchline. . .

Now I have been recently diagnosed with diabetes and I am treating the diagnosis as not a horror show tragedy but a wake up call.  So like a good girl I have been to the doctor and following up as requested.  I had labs scheduled for a quick draw of blood after fasting to see where my body stands now: Cholesterol, Iron Levels, and so on.  No problem I pass the hospital on my way to work.  I'm in, I'm out, and bada bing on the way to work.  Oh but see I did not realize that I had a day of fun planned.  As part of my follow up my doctor requested that I drop off my blood sugar numbers from the previous week and half to see how I am doing.  I drop off the numbers and found out that I was early to my lab appointment as I was suppose to be there where I dropped off the numbers.  I thought I was suppose to go across the street.  Bonus for me - Today is my lucky day (God must have just roared at that thought!)  The receptionist tells me to take a seat and I will be called shortly.  Tick tock goes the clock over and over - the minutes slowly tick away.  Well here comes ten o'clock the time I am suppose to BE AT WORK.  Thirty minutes have passed and still no one has called my name.  And just as I am about to stand up to see what is going on a technician walks out and calls my name and another person's.  I think. . . It was quietly spoken, and the technician did not come into the waiting room, just the hallway and I have a semi popular last name. I go to the spot that I think I heard my name.  Nobody there and the doors have shut to the lab.  I look around questioningly - like a lost puppy and a woman who looks like she means business comes out of a different doorway looks me up and down - I must have passed the test of someone who looks like they are ready to have blood drawn - And barks out "Sullivan?"  Yes ma'am reporting for duty ma'am.  Let's do this and then an older lady catches up to us and follows us.  And then we both go into the lab room passing the lab waiting room.  I think "Oh, maybe I was supposed to wait there. Maybe that's what the receptionist meant when she said "have a seat".  She probably meant " go around these cubicles, take a right , walk down the hallway, go through the double locked doors and take a left and have a seat in the lab waiting area."  I just miss such obvious directions.  I have never had a double date when I have had blood drawn.  Not a huge fan I must say.  I am a bit nervous to have my own blood drawn (this may be because it usually takes several attempts, a couple of insults due to small, wiry, twisty veins, and a few bruises).  The other lady gets to go first so I get to be extra nervous. I'm from the North where we tend to be conservative and pride ourselves on letting everyone have their privacy unlike the tendency in the South to be open and personable, and share personal details.  I am trying to look at the floor, the ceiling, look "friendly" but not nosy.  She gets to leave quickly.  And then my turn.  But wait to keep things moving they call back another person.  No problem.  Oh but it is an elderly lady with a daughter as her escort.  A feisty daughter who starts to get into a passive agressive verbal battle with the technician.  Awesome.  Please upset the lady who is about to draw my blood.  Thank you. Wait, what is the technician grabbing.  A cup?  Oh no no no! I was not told about this part.  I am suppose to just have blood drawn.  Nope a urine sample too.  Yippee!  This Friday morning is getting better and better and I am already ten minutes late to work plus the drive. I hurry out of the clinic after my morning of fun.  Get to my truck and turn the key.  Roar of engine oh wait.  No that is the sound of nothing.  Turn the key again.  Yeah that is not the sound of a running engine.  Okay I will call hubby.  Cell phones are great.  No answer. I'll try again. Nope still no answer.  Keep it together Suzy!  Alright I will walk home as I don't live too far.  I drive by the hospital everyday and count it three blocks away.  In reality it is closer to a mile and half.  A little morning jaunt, with my purse, my lunch, my sweatshirt, and my bright blue bandage over where blood was drawn.  I was grateful to my shoe choice as they were canvas tennis shoes and not dress shoes.  Look at me still smiling.  And I even laughed with God.  How fun I am getting my work-out this morning.  Did I mention it was a fasting blood draw?  So I am starving and walking home,  I reach my hubby on the phone half way home - he is getting ready for work and it will be faster for me to walk home then him to finish getting ready and grab our son and drive to pick me up.  I agree (in a mumbly sort of way - the novelty of being assertive and seizing the opportunity is dwindling away with each passing step.).  I reach home and greet my favorite guys.  Who my son laughed in delight, my husband laughed, (God must have already shared the punchline with them) and I did that half smile/half cry.  We hop in the car and check on the truck.  My hubby is able to jump start the truck.  Yay hubby.  And we test out his handi-work.  We turn off the truck and try to restart it.  No go!  Okay we jump the truck again, victory!  But both of us work about fifteen miles away from home - interstate wise- not really safe to drive a vehichle that requires a jump start to get moving.  We get the truck home.  We then drop our son off for daycare and then drive my hubby to work and then I turn around to go to work. 

God was enjoying how he was building the punchline that he added a couple hours of extra fun.  As I was checking back in with work running close to three hours late - FANTASTIC! I find out I have three days worth of work sitting on my desk.  At this point - this simply can't be true.  I knew my boss was joking.  Except she wasn't laughing.  I got off the phone and was done.  I no longer carried the smile on my face, or the nodding of the head like good one.  No in my heart I felt like how a ticklefest goes one second to long, the teasing one time too many, or the prank that has too much clean-up.  Moments that were meant for levity that go so wrong in the blink of an eye because reality became too much.  That workload was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Because   I had been looking forward to three hours of uninterrupted time at home by myself before this day started.  Three hours of no cleaning, no listening for the baby, or helping my husband.  But just some quiet me time.  And when I heard that work announcement - poof the dream floated away. 

I arrived at work - late, knowing what awaited for me.  Yet, I was in a bit of denial.  I was hoping there had been a misunderstanding, a little stretch of the truth, or even that the work fairy had waved their magic wand.  But no, there was that much work to do (Secretly I still hoped to sneak out for a little hour or two of peace and quiet at home).  Here we go.    My office was phenomenal coming to my rescue but the hours flew by and my dreams faded away.  I worked up to the minute that I had to leave to pick up my son and then drive fifteen miles out of the way to pick up hubby.  And finally, home.  Sweet sweet home. 

What's the punchline?   Well the night before my hubby and I prayed the same prayer.  Our little one was under the weather, tugging his ears and running a fever.  We know he is teething but weren't sure if he was doing these things in response to that.  Or not feeling well.  As mommy do I keep him home and stay with him?  Or send him to his grandma's.  So the prayer we both said was "God please keep our son healthy.  And make it "PERFECTLY CLEAR" what Suzy should do with her day".  Get it?  God never gave me a moment of doubt about where I was supposed to be.  Our son slept soundly throughout the night and woke up with no fever so I didn't have to worry about if I should keep him home or not.  From the minute I woke up until the minute I got home I was on autopilot.  I had choices in my day but not really.  I could have waited at the hospital and not walked home.  But I possibly could have missed my hubby as his cell doesn't receive all calls.  We could have driven the truck but wouldn't know what would happen.  My choices left little doubt what to do and where to be.  I told you God laughed.  But then he knew the punchline.  Now I can tell the story with a smile because I too know the punchline and its a doozy.

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with punchlines and laughter.  'Til we meet again. . .