Show your Warts!!!
How can you say to your brother,
"Let me take the speck out of your eye.'
when all the time there is a plank
in your own eye.
Matthew 7:4
Dear World, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Toad. Mr Toad meet the world. This toad comes and goes as he pleases around our house. He tends to live around the corner taunting and teasing my dog and then retreats quickly (or semi-quickly) to his home under the garbage can. This may be Mr. Toad Jr. as I remember him being bigger in the past. He leaves me be except for the teases at my sweet puppy. I try to return the peace to him though I do usually let out a scream when he makes his reappearance under our garbage can.
But I do respect that he has never been afraid to show his warts.
As humans we hear "warts" and get a bit squeamish. We may also begin to recall of the directory of witches from our childhood fairy tales. But really what are warts? They're growths caused by infection. However, we call them anything else to escape the rejection and outcast label that warts bring. We hide our warts through nicknames and harmless labels such as a bump, extra skin, a cut, a blemish, or we may use the ultimate magic tool - the band-aid. Whats the worst offense we may commit if cornered? Throw someone else in as the target to zone in on by pointing out their wart in hopes to cover our own.
We have trouble claiming the truth and honestly using our words. Perhaps you hear great news from a friend - promotion, wedding, baby on the way or even tamer news like a new car or a new haircut. There is a part of you that wants to celebrate but somehow before the words leave your mouth a criticism or a backhanded compliment takes the lead. Why do we do this? I believe we say these hurtful words (even if they are not intentionally spoken but inadvertently shared) because we all are seeking acceptance and fear rejection. We hear stellar news and instead of hearing and celebrating the fact with those we love. We immediately think of ourselves; how does this news affect our likability? If you are shining brighter; will that spotlight my flaws, warts and all even more? So we take the defense to avoid the feared offense. We make jokes that aren't funny. For instance - you're having a baby? That's great news as you're not getting any younger! Or closer to the conversations I am having these days. "You quit your job? That's great - good for you. I would like to, but I can't because I have bills to pay. So what are you doing after summer? Oh! *pause* *grimace* Well I'm sure something will turn up. So, really you are quitting your job. How long were you there again? Six years! Wow - and you have only a summer job lined up. *pat on shoulder with eye roll* Well something will happen for you. Good luck *chuckle with glad I'm not in your shoes kind of tone*."
Yep I 've had that exchange more than once. And I truly believe people are looking out for me and are nervous. Why are they nervous? When someone changes the status quo we check our own lives for the aftershock. If we are worried that tremors may disturb our comfort levels we tweak theirs. Have you had friend lose weight and without missing a beat offer them a highly caloric dessert treat. "Really - you've lost fifty pounds! That's awesome - Can I interest you in a triple hot fudge brownie ice cream treat?"
So by my quitting a good stable job (I cannot stress enough how good my company was to me through some stressful events in my life but that I've known for awhile isn't my passion in life) for a short term but high on my wish list kind of opportunity it disrupts other's point of view. It reminds me people who are struggling in their job that it is always a choice where you work. I'm not saying everyone should quit a job they don't like this instant. But we need to check in and remind ourselves life is full of options. The only thing on everyone's to do list that is not optionable is death. But everything before that is a choice. Do the reasons for you to stay at your job outweigh your reasons to leave? Then absolutely stay at your job and work towards how you can make the situation better. My scales were tipping the other direction. God gave me an answer to my prayers. Which I'm incredibly grateful. But this answer didn't appear overnight. It has been a long process.
We all have our own desires and what we consider prizes. But in exchange for those gifts we have to put in our hopes, the effort, and the time. This means there will be some successess and some failures. But if we get too tangled up in other people's journeys while trying to cover our warts we will lose our own opportunities. It is good to want to share knowledge, advice, and constructive criticism. Beware though, because sometimes what it is meant as an encouraging word gets pushed to the back as envy, anger, fear bully their way to the front and escape your mouth without a moment's notice. Let's share our journey, warts and all.
May your HealthFULL Journey be aided by those who can help you remove the speck of sawdust from your eye without clocking you in the head with their plank. "Til we meet again . . .
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