Workin' up a Sweat

 

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit,

who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

You are not your own; you were bought a price. 

Therefore honor God with your body. -- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

 

Can I be honest?  This piece of scripture haunts me.  I have confessed there have been many binges and some more recent than I want to remember let alone admit.  We joke about my downfalls in our home.  The foods that call my name at all hours when in the house and have a direct line to my Sal the Snacker (Chips (no self-control!!! nada - zilch!), Ice Cream (some control but little) and Pop has a hold I can't even describe!) I ban them I invite them I kick these foods out of the house again and there is that one moment of weakness and they move in their brother's wife's cousin's dog's best friend and everyone down the line.  I crave, I rationalize, I promise, I threaten, I ignore, and then I break down.  This can be agonizing.  And then I giggle when someone mentions I forgot to eat today - don't you hate that?  I nod and chuckle as if I am "in" on the joke but I'm giggling because I cannot fathom a day in this world where I would forget a snack let alone a day worth of meals!  I eat out of nervousness I am not 100% sure if that counts as emotional eating.  Because my anxiety can turn any moment into a nervous activity which then gives me permission to chow down.  Today a tongue in cheek confession was made to my husband as we joked about my temptations.  I will eat versions of those items that I don't even like because of what they say to me.  I remember drinking the world's grossest soda - It was blue and the name was something like blue mountain soda sparkling blue this was 10+ years ago.  It tasted like foaming carbonated paint thinner or some other household cleaner - rough stuff.  I believe I finished half a can and that is the only pop in this world I have not finished.  I used to find some diet sodas that tasted like soap but did I buy them more than once.  Why yes I did!  That has to say something - and probably not the nicest  or wisest comment. 

 

So what does this have to do with workin' up a sweat?  Well I recently stopped by the library for rejuvenation into the work-out world.  I started off strong this month promising myself I would do at least thirty minutes of dedicated on purpose working out so that anything extra was just bonus points.  I have dragged out the Wii that passively agressively reminded me that I have not visited in 253 days.  Why thank you Wii for noticing my absence - missed you too!  And then had the audacity to say I've gained 19 pounds in that time.  I guess the Wii Fit did not want me to visit again for another 253 days!  I have bonded again with the Walking DVD where my son believes he is meant to serve as my arm weight as he giggles along with the super peppy coach on the television screen.  Well that gung-ho attitude lasted a whole five days.  Then a couple more passed and I said "Suzy we have to make this work! The weight has to go and more importantly that blood sugar needs to get under control!!!"  I know in the logical world that exercise greatly impacts my blood sugar but when I am being pulled by Sal the Snacker and called by the cravings I leave logic blocked in a corner screaming for help!  Not that logic needs my help but it knows how much I need IT! And Logic wants to desperately help me in those desperate moments!   

 

So I tried to be pro-active and grabbed two DVDs from the library my free resource to dabble in movement.  One is a bellydance DVD which cracks me up (because at my size the belly dances pretty much all the time on its own  its just not quite in the manner people find attractive ;)  and a God inspired Sweating in the Spirit where we pull out the Hymns and the Gospel singers to motivate our movement.  The "coach" or "teacher"  quoted the above line quite often in the DVD.  Every time she said that scripture verse or the mantra " your body is your temple" - I winced.  Which is what we do when we view an action as dangerous or painful.  This wasn't her intention I'm sure.  She meant to be encouraging.  She was smiling and throwing up her arms in Glory to God.  And I was trying to sink into the floor away from God's gaze. 

 

Hmmmm....That kind of reaction deserves a ponder.  I say I want to beautify and strengthen my body, my temple in honor of God.  As a sign of respect!  That kind of thinking leads to work-outs which leads to so many wonderful options.  An instant gift is my son's reaction.  He is his Mommy's biggest cheerleader.  Certain DVD's cause him to giggle and copy mine and the television's instructor's movements.  Sometimes he finds it so delightful and entangles himself around me like a jungle gym when I do "fun" poses.  Such as straddling my legs or arching my back or creating a downward dog sort of pose that he can climb through and interact with me.  I love that!  I love when he discovers a new move or a new opportunity to see life from a new perspective.  These are the good moments when I am on my 'A' game and doing good.  But then I lose my hold on that scripture of empowerment and it becomes a blaming loud alarm as I stuff my face with bowl after bowl of potato chips.  The only growth besides my stomach is that chips at least last two days and not just one :( 

 

Oooh  If only I could hold unto the power of that verse.  That positive encouragement and reminder that fuels me to making good choices worth building up.  Instead of me sweeping it into dark corners as I run away distracted, confused, and blindly numbing myself with foods that clog and slow my journey instead of fueling me into the next stretch of positive growth.  Hmmmmmmm....

 

Day by day, moment by moment I trudge. 

 

Jesus looked at them and said, "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." --Matthew 19:26 

 

God reach down and help me own the above scripture.  That my body is a temple to serve you to honor you and to always bring glory in your name.  I constantly fail in this area.  I turn away from the responsibility.  I hide my head in guilt and shame to avoid the pain this verse reminds of my failure.  I struggle God because I struggle never because my love for you falters.  Help me to remember to love what you gave me for life, my body and to treat it with respect.  Amen!

 

May your HealthFULL journey hold up a mirror to remind you of the areas where you are strong and where you have grown and a loving reminder of what still could use improvement.  Remember God loves you always where you are - God doesn't wait for you to lose ten pounds or until you can run a marathon.  God loves you right here, right now, and is waiting to hear your heart's desire and to witness ALL of your choices - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful ;)  'Til we meet again. . . 

It sure Ain't Easy, but it Sure is a lot of F-U-N!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

  according to His power that is at work within us, - Ephesians 3:20 NIV




What I Imagined. . .

What is. . .

I know why we aren't allowed to foresee our lives because we wouldn't take the necessary steps to move forward.  Are you familiar with The Dance by Garth Brooks?  The whole song is about how isn't it great life is left up to chance and choices and surprises then us handpicking our stories.  Why - because if we knew the endings we wouldn't take the beginning steps.  And without that first step because of fear of the ending we would miss too many stories, too many opportunities, too many lessons, and too many precious memories.  We are conditioned to avoid pain.  Do you believe me?  Think of the next time you have to endure something painful - handling paper after paper cut, a shot/vaccine, washing out a wound, touching something hot. How do we respond -  we flinch, we pull away, we hesitate - we react in ways that show caution and hopefully steps that will help us avoid further pain. 

Today was a rough day.  I have decided that torture is trying to put two babies to sleep simultaneously.  Parents of twins - I salute you!  Granted I took a misstep that I will avoid to lessen my chances of repeating this painful scenario.  I forgot my son's stuffed Lion.  It happens, right?  My husband and I are fortunate parents we have a pretty easy-going sweet child (so much more his daddy's son - I just benefit :)  Oh holy Toledo Batman!  This child went ballistic, hysterical, and drove me to tears.  For 46 minutes out of fifty - he screamed, he cried, he pitched the tantrum of tantrums today.  He is twenty months old and obviously does not believe he is capable of a nap without his best buddy!  What was even worse? The three year old was actually trying to "nap".  Usually her and I go toe to toe, but not today!  Today I was locked in the battle of wills - would a nap commence.  I sang, I rocked, I cuddled, I tightened hug, I cooed, I whispered, I giggled, I paced, and my son SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAMED in my ear, near the quiet three year old.  I finally walked through the house as the other kids were on lock-down while we tried to create a peaceful, quiet, almost serene naptime area for the two youngest.  Sadly, the toddlers missed the memo.  Not one but two children asked why aren't the two youngest asleep yet.  Great question!  And I not had a obnoxious piercing scream destroying my hearing abilities I believe I could have answered more wisely or at least more patiently.  However I sputtered out with dripping sarcasm, "I Don't Know!"  Losing my mind!!!  We returned to the recliner to once again commence naptime.  The tantrum began, the screaming escalated into short breaths of hyperventilation and mutterings of a desperate prayer - breathing deepened, limbs relaxed, and utter exhaustion took hold of both children. 

It would be easy to run my victory lap - I did it - both toddlers are resting at the same time!!! Amazing right?  But it was God's abilities and my willingness to concede defeat.  In our weakness God shows His Glory.  I like to be the best.  I like to attain almost perfect scores and everything to be precise and if I am going to accomplish something I want to knock out a homerun the first time at bat.  Can we all hit a Hole-In-One?  Absolutely!  Can we do it our first time swinging the golf club? Doubtful, but possible.  Will we accomplish this goal every time we tee-off?  Nope.  Should we stop golfing altogether?  Not really. . .We miss those chances to be great because we don't want to risk the ending of failing of hitting rock-bottom. 

I worked for a good company before becoming a nanny.  They were beyond generous and supportive through my schooling, working a second job, and my pregnancy and the challenging beginning days of my son.  But I stayed too long at the office job that I was qualified to do but not passionate to improve.  It wasn't my calling and I knew that far before I handed in my resignation.  But it was comfortable and as I said a great place to work.  They took care of me.  But I began to suffocate and I leapt at the chance to be nanny.  Let me get this straight you want me to hang out and play games with five awesome kids where I can also bring my son to play.  Uhhh Yes please!  I imagined weekly trips to the library, daily adventures through our imagination, never skipping a devotion as we clamored together to share in God's Word.  Ummmm well we have done some of that.  I thought there would be lots of giggles and smiles and fun.  We sometimes laugh and have fun but there is a lot of the backstory I quickly edited from my plans - the bickering, the tantrums, the sulking, the pouting, the fights, the name-calling, the anger, the sadness, the - well you get the point.  It is downright taxing.  And its easy to get caught up in the frustrations - they tend to spurn each other. 

But then whats even better than my imagined version of gumdrops, lolli-pops and oozing sweet pictures of working with children bliss are those quiet moments.  The moment where my son curls into the lap of his oldest cousin.  The squeals of delight from their youngest as their middle child chases her with enthusiasm.  As the whole group deliberates and discusses the most strategic puzzle placement.  The boys reaching a peace treaty to play fairly. 

I wouldn't trade it.  Oh don't get me wrong if you had flashed the emotions and the daily energy withdrawals required by this job I would probably run for the hills.  But for every frustration, every drop of sweat, and every tear shed - I have at least five smiles and giggles upon giggles of what I've learned, witnessed, and been blessed by.  And this is all possible - because I admitted to God - though I was okay at the office job I was weak in passion.  He answered my prayer with a powerful response that maxed out my passion, my energy, and my talents and all he required a step of faith.  Its okay to take that first step without knowing the last - actually its better than okay its what we are supposed to do.  We are tempted to wait for those "perfect" moments but then we get caught waiting as precious blessings float right by.  Be encouraged!  A step of faith may not guarantee perfection but it sure is a lot of F-U-N!

May your HealthFULL Journey be adventurous, full of Faith, and surrounded by F-U-N. 'Til we meet again . . .    



It only takes a Spark

Do you know that good ol' campfire song? 

It only takes a spark - to get a fire going. 

That’s how it is with God’s love
Once you’ve experienced it,

you spread His love to everyone
You want to pass it on.

 (I believe this is title Pass It On written by Kurt Kaiser - great song - lots of memories singing it :)

I had the best of intentions to write two other blog entries before this one.  But life happened and quickly passed.  I was going to share some of my struggles in a post titled Derailed and then the next one was to be more upbeat how sometimes we need to "Drop Everything for a Hug" sharing some of my parenting joys and letting go of some of the chores for more smiles both from me and my son.  But as hours passed and now we are on a new day overflowing with joy.  That I just had to share where I was today. 

First last night I actually went out with a friend - no hubby, no toddler,  but me as Suzy with no other titles or responsibilities other than to be present.  It was amazing!  To laugh, to talk UNinterrupted in more than two word sentences, and to actually eat when the food was still hot.  I don't do this a lot.  As you probably guessed by my enthusiasm.  But when I do carve away that time I wonder why I don't do it more often. And then as I head home with excitement and feeling rebooted to spend time with  my guys I remember how much I do love to spend time with them - chores and everything :)  But we do need that break to refresh, maybe it's time alone, maybe a creative project, maybe work, maybe a night out with friends, or maybe a chance to give back.  We are intelligent human beings who crave stimulation.  We need opportunities that feed our senses and if we keep ourselves in the same patterns and environments it is hard to stimulate those senses.  However, once we hit refresh on those senses we can come back to our "daily lives" with new perspective - which in the end can change any or everything!  

So after my enjoyable evening (which I have to brag about my hubby not only being a good sport about taking on single parent duties, but also my biggest cheerleader to encourage this much needed girl time.); it was to be an early morning this gorgeous Saturday.  Again my fantastic hubby took on playing the parental role solo so that I could attend a charity/awareness event.  As you may know one of my 1 resolutions for this year was to participate at least monthly with purpose with a new charity.  I really debated if I wanted to walk/stroll this community event "Race for Adoption" to raise awareness about adoption.  It was only a 5k and we've enjoyed the last couple we've participated.  But after prayer and a lot of thought I decided that it would be fun and different to actually volunteer for the event, not just be a participant. 

The race started at nine in the morning, but volunteers were requested to be there between seven thirty and eight.  Oooh!  Not that I wouldn't be up by that time but dressed and ready to help not a very typical Saturday morning.  These are usually good jammy mornings for my son and I.  But I arrived around 7:40 and looked around for the gathering spot.  I found the man in charge who put me in contact with the guy with the clipboard.  That should have been my first clue that he was the best guy to talk to.  What is it about clipboards?   Don't they make everyone look so organized and official?  I was assigned Turnpoint 2.  That's how early I was for sign-ups :)  What was so great about this position?  You got to see the participants early in the run and then close to the end of the race as this was one of two spots they passed twice.  Me and my turnpoint partner felt it was our volunteer duty to not only point out the way but cheer and applaud with enthusiasm :)  I am sure some of the participants appreciated our effort, I'm also sure some were annoyed but probably not as much as the people who lived in the houses near where we stood.  But I felt moved to applaud for so many reasons.

It was such a blessing to see people of all ages, sizes, and health ranges participate.  I think there were close to 280 runners/walkers for a first time event.  Pretty impressive.  It was inspiring to see the parents out pushing their newborns and toddlers in double-strollers,  people who are struggling with weight ( I know that fight well!!!) but still out there giving it their all, people who are grandparents still finishing the race of three miles under thirty minutes (I couldn't do that!), and those runners who run daily (and you can tell) and are graceful and impressive, there were teenagers chatting it up, solo walkers who might have been praying or meditating.  But all together just a beautiful sight and opportunity to people watch.  This was real reality tv :)  Guards down and people just doing their thing using different sources of motivation. 

These people without trying were so motivating I got home feeling just pumped.  It was still a tish downcast but gorgeous and I grabbed my son, his stroller, and our dancing dog.  Our dog just gets so excited at the appearance of an impending walk.  And together my little trio walked about a mile and a half.  This is usually our stroll around the neighborhood but after seeing everyone come together and compete or stroll according to their skills and mindset; I just had to get outside and walk.  I also decided that next year especially if they hold this same event.  I am going to be a participant and not walk (well the whole way :) . I may not run/race the whole way but I do want to finish the three miles in under thirty minutes.  That's my goal and I want to be held accountable.  In one year's time I am going to finish a 5k in less than thirty minutes. I can do this.  So thank you runners for inspiring me.

It only takes a spark!  You can be that spark!  I believe this is a quote of Theodore Roosevelt's I love it so much I wrote it twice in my Bible - "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

There is no time like right now to share your inner glow :)

May your HealthFULL Journey offer you ample opportunities to refresh so that you can be that spark to motivate others.  'Til we meet again. . . 

   



Are you just here? Or are you present?

If you have ever read FISH written by Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, and John Christensen) you probably already know that there is a definite difference between being "here" and being present.  A good chunk of the recent years I have been just here (or there :)  but not really present.  I think this is why I have felt like it has been effort some of these days to take this HealthFULL Journey.  I was tired of just being here and not present.

My body would go and fulfill my responsibilities to work, family, and friends.  But rarely was I truly engaged.  I was busy disappearing into the past of good memories, painful lessons, and rehashing relationships and moments that slipped through my fingers for a variety of reasons.  Occasionally I would motivate myself enough to engage myself into lists for the future - some short term and some long term.  But rarely did anyone have my full attention; especially myself.  As I was checking out I was killing myself with food and little to no activity.

Its why FULL stands for Fully Understanding Life by Living.  I wasn't engaging life, I was barely showing up.  As I have taken my sweet time on the scenic route of this journey - I feel some of these days I feel like I am driving 90 mph (and when I was a teenager I received two speeding tickets that prove I know what that feels like - not bragging about that fact just full disclosure).  I feel overwhelmed. I feel thrilled.  I feel joy.  I feel needed. I feel alive.  People come to me with questions.  As I faded into the background those years not too far back few questions nor comments came my way.  A zombie like fill-in doesn't tend to have much enthusiasm to attract people nor seem very wise with their empty stare and the occasional frown. 

I write this entry because I am looking back in my rearview mirror at someone who wasn't living and though I was numb to hurt which I feel is one of the reasons I had shut-down - its only a temporary solution that freezes us out of own lives and out of the lives of those we care about.  Our society seems to be losing control as few and fewer people want to pick up the reins of responsibility.  Honestly, how many households have the discussion what/where should we eat and it last for twenty plus minutes?  And rarely is that a lively debate kind of discussion but a lazy conversation where nobody wants to make the final decision.  Within a week if you have a twenty minute conversation about where/what to eat for supper - that wastes over two plus hours.  For something all of us have to do typically three times a day.  That means it is a possible seven hour time - waster to stall on a weekly basis about what we should eat!  That's insane.  I admit we have that same discussion around here. 

Not only do we waste time, avoid responsibility, but we grab minute details to fixate on and lose the big picture of the moment.  We go to a restaurant as a form of ease and entertainment.  We go to socialize but we get caught up in the minor details.  You can have a good conversation at a restaurant - it is possible.  But rare.  As a family or a group you will have the server interrupt your meal on average five to seven times.  That halts the conversation.  That is kind of hard to have anyway as people are far apart usually and then surrounded by other conversations.  You certainly don't want to shout private news - so that leaves small talk.  It is easy at the dinner table to focus on your meal and be there in the group but not really present as you catch the server to criticize your meal or request a speedier service.  

I write this post heavy on my heart that many of us could find more ways to be involved in our own lives.  Find activities that bless your mind, spirit, and body.  Reach out to community charities.  Sign up for a church function.  The world is crying out for us to take responsibility and engage in our own lives.  But when we're "just here" we miss the cry of those in pain.  When we're just here we miss the laughter of those living in the moment.  When we're just here we miss too much.  But when we're present - no mental lists, no flashbacks of recent arguments, no antagonizing games of "what if" - but really present we are blessed ten-fold -We learn, we connect, we live!

Be present so that you can know this kind of goodness:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. " --Philippians 4:8

May you be present in your life - engaging with those around you and able to offer a helping hand when called. 'Til we meet again. . .

Momentus Momentum

Oh life how you mock me!  Drew woke up at the glorious time of quarter to seven.   Sunshine why do you appear so early and then play a peek a boo all day long?!?!?  As his babbling increased I began my typical morning race. Pit stop in the restroom for mommy.  Stumble to the outside door and trip over the racing cat to let out the dog.  (I know its an early morning when the dog stays sleeping in the bed.)  I grab some treats for our cat.  Change out the dog's water and give her food. Pour my son his milk.  Towel off the dog.  And then race to my son's room as he began to dramatically increase the volume and pace of his babble.  I have seven minutes.  What doesn't get done within those seven minutes immediately loses priority and enters Toddler time - where time revolves around the toddler's needs, wants, approval and satisfaction level.  I enter his room and we begin our morning exchange of conversation.  As he changes into his new diaper we began to discuss what should we do today?  And then like a ton of bricks I remember.  We already have plans today!  Oh me! Oh my!  Adrenaline surge and I have to quickly take a deep breath and grasp reality by running through the facts about our plans.  Okay what time is it? Just before seven - good.  What time does the breakfast start?  8:30 - I think?  or was it 8?  8 would not be good - 8:30 is doable.  Shout to hubby I need the car you'll have to take the truck.  Switch out keys.  And sweetly but also rudely tell hubby to hurry up in the shower.  So that I too can get ready: as this mommy did not have immediate plans to leave her comfy jammies.  But plans were made and now it is time to jump into gear.  I grab my happy toddler in his pjs and get him dressed after he picks the one shirt I couldn't immediately find pants to match.  I even questioned his choice : Are you sure this is the shirt you want to wear?  He looks at me with arched brow "Yeah" .  But the whole demeanor was definitely -why would I pick it if I didn't want it?  Its like he knows we have a deadline and the other shirts had easy to reach pants.  My fault - if I give him the choice I need to follow-through.  I rip through piles of clothes find the pants - YAY small victory.  
I sit him in his high chair for a small breakfast.  We were going to a mommy and me breakfast but you know with toddlers - hungry now, and not sure what kind of day we are having taste wise nor what our options would be.  Plus as we did a quick daddy/mommy transition of caretaker the boy was safely contained.  Then back to mommy duty as we kiss daddy good-bye. 

We made it to the breakfast on time with a little adrenaline to spare.  Does that happen to you?  You start your day in one state of mind and in the blink of the eye it goes a completely different direction.  I thought we were starting an early lazy day and God reminded me that we actually had some place to be.

I think that is the moral of the story.  It is tempting to be lazy and lounge and move at what is comfortable.  Comfortable is comfortable but to move or to grow one needs momentum.  How do we encourage momentum in our own lives?

Lists - simply writing something down makes the goal more tangible than letting it surf brain waves and getting lost in the web of your many thoughts.

Appointments - we are more likely to go somewhere if we mark our calendars. I know many people if it doesn't get in the calendar - time and life will steamroll right over the event. 

Verbalize Commitment - this is one step past jotting on your calendar.  You are telling someone I'll be there.  You are asking for accountability from yourself and the person expecting you.

Because of this simple activity.  My son and I had a great breakfast, time to socialize with peers (both of us - which is a huge WIN/WIN!) enjoyed the sunshine, had a quick nap as he wore himself out and now it is only noon and we both are itching to have some more fun!  Momentum helps us to truly activate our own life.  No longer am I sitting on the couch just hoping for a better life - I am actively living that better life I used to dream about.

May your HealthFULL Journey catch you by surprise and push you forward with momentum that blesses you FULLy.  'Til we meet again. . .

Let's Use our Feet

Let's use our feet is an expression a dear friend of mine would ask when she wanted to go for a walk.  On these walks we would share our daily lives, our dreams, our fears, and sometimes just the silence of walking with a friend.  They are some of my sweetest memories.  But why didn't she ask if I just wanted to go for a walk?  She had a very smart dog who L-O-V-E-D walks!  If we used the W word - the dog had to go.  This was a dog with short legs and couldn't walk as long as we used to enjoy.  Our penance would to be to walk with the dog around the block a couple of time or 1/2 mile and then we could go on our real "walk".  Then the dog caught the spelling version W-A-L-K also meant pure bliss and that is how the Let's Use Our Feet became our secret code :) 

Well I write this entry today because I want to use my feet.  There are two causes in April that are both very near and dear to my heart.  On April 14, 2012 I plan to walk a "FUN 5k" in support of Strides for Autism in honor of a sweet little princess named Madison :)  I have worked in the past with peoples of disabilities.  It is a career I miss very much as it was some of the most rewarding work (if you can call it that as there was much fun to be had and many memories that still make me smile) I've had the privilege to do.  Autism used to be diagnosed in extremely rare situations and has endured some horrible falsehoods.  One being that people diagnosed with autism were autistic due to refrigerator mom syndrome.  Basically that their mothers did not show them enough love.  What a horrible thing to believe and many people did for way too long of time.  Much research is being done (and needs to be done) because the prevalence is very real: 1 in 110 U.S. children with boys outnumbering the girls four to one.  (I don't have an article to support this fact as it is the most common stat I have read in at least ten articles/books within the last three years).  Good chances you know someone or a family that includes a person with autism.  I include family because this is a disability that doesn't change one person's life but all of those who support that person.  Communication, behavior, and health can all be altered due to autism.  This a disorder with a large umbrella of all those it affects and how it affects each individual.  There is not a one size fits all solution.  But as more research is done, more people can be helped, supported, and encouraged to live the best version of themselves.  If you would like to support this charity please donate funds at https://scautism.org/strides/team/3/ for Team Madison!

The other charity I plan to Use my Feet is for the March of Dimes when we will March for Babies April 28,2012.  I live in South Carolina and our statistic according to March of Dimes research is that one in seven babies are born premature.  There is a reason a pregnancy is meant to take forty weeks and what develops the most in the last couple months of pregnancy- lungs and brains.  Those are two very important organs; they help us breathe and they help us think.  I started writing this blog as a reaction to take my health more seriously when my niece Lilli was born at only 24 1/2 weeks at the weight of one pound six ounces and twelve inches long.  She could wear my brother's wedding band up to her shoulder!  She is doing amazing!  But thanks to research and support she is alive and can see.  She faced a very real risk of going blind, but because of research - doctors were diligent in their observations and knew what warning signs to watch.

Almost a year after our niece's birth, my husband and I received news that we were to be parents.  Our joy grew but I have to admit there was always a gray cloud hanging in the back of my thoughts. I feared my son being born prematurely.  I witnessed a miracle and the wonders God can do. But I also witnessed and felt the rides of a frightening roller coaster ride that involves a NICU stay.  When I hit my twenty-fifth week of pregnancy I rejoiced, but not for too long as my body started to show signs of distress a couple of weeks later.  I was put on bedrest and four days later was admitted to the hospital.  I was given steroids in hopes of speeding up my son's development.  Every night I prepared myself for the possibility of my son's birth physically (no food or liquid after midnight) and emtionally (prayers of the healthiest timing) and every morning I was wheeled to an ultra-sound where tests were ran on both my son and myself.  It was deemed on my ninth day in the hospital that the safest alternative for Drew and me was to deliver.  I was only at 29 weeks.  My son was born at three pounds and eleven ounces and seventeen 1/2 inches long.  That is just a tish longer than a legal size piece of paper and lighter than most roasts.  My son was placed in the NICU for forty-four days.  I am grateful for the research that has been done on prematurity, the staff who cared for and about our son, and the prayers that lifted up our entire family.  Not everyone has the success story that we experienced twice in our family.  Every family should have the moment of welcoming home their own miracle.  Please help me support the efforts of March of Dimes.  My team page is http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1731408 where you can see a couple of our miracles and donate to our family team : Early Bugs.  Or you can also donate online at www.marchforbabies.org/SuzySullivan . 

Your funds are most appreciated for either or both charities - that is why I am Using my Feet in hopes of raising money for these two organizations.  But there are other ways to show support; Prayers are always needed and appreciated, encouragement is nice, and advertising these web addresses through e-mail, facebook, twitter, or your own blog/website is beyond helpful :) 

Thank you for your time, your assistance, and your support.

May your HealthFULL Journey motivate you to use your whole self. 'Til we meet again. . .

Refresh!

How often do you refresh?  You refresh your browser when the computer runs slowly.  You probably freshen up your make-up or appearance as you are running out the door.  You might serve refreshments to guests.  But how often do you remember to refresh yourself?  Yes we may take time to relax but that doesn't always refresh us (especially if you are catching up on email, heatedly texting, or watching riveting or not so riveting tv).  I mention this time of refresh as I had an amazing weekend - a pilgrimage if you will. 

It was a time to retreat, reflect, and yes - REFRESH!  The weekend included no watch, no cellphone, no computer, and no tv.  For some people reading that sentence gave you minor palpitations.  And if that is true - isn't that one indication you do need a time of refreshment?  A time to just let go of those daily demands that drain us - sometimes a lot - sometimes a little.  But drain us all the same.  No matter the size of the leak if let untouched it will drain you completely dry. 

Well I am feeling refreshed!  Even though I am dealing with a stupid cold.  But maybe that was my body's way of saying I needed some true rest.  As I napped most of the day away.  I am ready to recheck my priorities and though I feel I am on a good path there is still some pruning to be done.  If I want to be a different person than I need to do things differently, right?  For the most part I have made great progress on my 12 resolutions for the 12 months of 2012.  But I still have plenty of room for improvements. 

May you feel the peace of letting go and the chance to reorganize your priorities.  If you felt palpitations at the thought of letting go of your electronics (watch, cell phone, tv, and computer) I strongly encourage/challenge you to try a weekend of shutting them off or even an evening at home (four hours to start).  Its freeing and interesting to see what you end up doing :)  'Til we meet again. . . 

Sometimes we NEED a victory dance!

Due to my husband's influence I have joined the legions of football fans; mostly NFL but some college.  It has become a special weekly event for my hubby and I as we don our black and gold.  I try to dress our son in the appropriate spirit wear as well.  However he usually cheers from his crib as it is either bedtime or naptime.  We do look forward to sharing this tradition with him.  I won't get started ranting about athlete salaries because that leads to celebrity and politicians vs military, teachers, fire personnel.  But the game does unite communities, families, and sometimes loners.  My hubby is from New Orleans and it is the city where we met.  It holds a special place in both our hearts.  We felt the loss as Katrina damaged and destroyed a beautiful piece of our country. But the people rallied.  Did the Saints heal the city?  They certainly helped strengthen that amazing community spirit.  I witnessed Katrina's destruction but I also celebrated in the French Quarter after the Saints won their first SuperBowl.  It truly was a memory of a lifetime.  We might not have ran the field but in our hearts we matched them yard for yard.  As I gain knowledge and seek healthier alternatives in my daily choices I have a newfound respect for athletes.  They don't take care of their bodies for simply appearances. They do it for performance and functionability.  They fight for their livelihood.  Day in and day out they push, they strain, they refrain, and hope to avoid injury.  So when they not only accomplish their goal but surpass everyone's expectations; including their own.  They celebrate.  They create humorous, touching, or offensive actions to celebrate their hard work.  And when we're rooting for that team we too share the victory and celebrate accordingly.

Could you imagine how different life would be if we shared our victory dances and joined others in theirs?  When someone earns an A we applauded instead of whispered "they must have cheated."  Or when someone loses ten pounds we cheered instead of sneered.  Maybe we don't need to pat others' fannies but we all could pass more pats on the back around.  We are quick to criticize - everyone, especially ourselves.  And with such critical eyes we forget to shout our Hoorays!

My son is at that fun age where he is starting to mimick adult patterns.  We applaud his victories and nine times out of ten he stops to applaud with us with joy in his eyes. And I get the distinct feeling he is applauding our applause.  His response is so genuine it brightens my mood, lightens my stress, and reminds me that we all do need a victory dance.  We need the victory dance; to celebrate, to encourage, and to connect. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of victory dances for yourself and for those you cherish.  We all deserve a celebration. ' Til we meet again. . .