Workin' up a Sweat

 

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit,

who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

You are not your own; you were bought a price. 

Therefore honor God with your body. -- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

 

Can I be honest?  This piece of scripture haunts me.  I have confessed there have been many binges and some more recent than I want to remember let alone admit.  We joke about my downfalls in our home.  The foods that call my name at all hours when in the house and have a direct line to my Sal the Snacker (Chips (no self-control!!! nada - zilch!), Ice Cream (some control but little) and Pop has a hold I can't even describe!) I ban them I invite them I kick these foods out of the house again and there is that one moment of weakness and they move in their brother's wife's cousin's dog's best friend and everyone down the line.  I crave, I rationalize, I promise, I threaten, I ignore, and then I break down.  This can be agonizing.  And then I giggle when someone mentions I forgot to eat today - don't you hate that?  I nod and chuckle as if I am "in" on the joke but I'm giggling because I cannot fathom a day in this world where I would forget a snack let alone a day worth of meals!  I eat out of nervousness I am not 100% sure if that counts as emotional eating.  Because my anxiety can turn any moment into a nervous activity which then gives me permission to chow down.  Today a tongue in cheek confession was made to my husband as we joked about my temptations.  I will eat versions of those items that I don't even like because of what they say to me.  I remember drinking the world's grossest soda - It was blue and the name was something like blue mountain soda sparkling blue this was 10+ years ago.  It tasted like foaming carbonated paint thinner or some other household cleaner - rough stuff.  I believe I finished half a can and that is the only pop in this world I have not finished.  I used to find some diet sodas that tasted like soap but did I buy them more than once.  Why yes I did!  That has to say something - and probably not the nicest  or wisest comment. 

 

So what does this have to do with workin' up a sweat?  Well I recently stopped by the library for rejuvenation into the work-out world.  I started off strong this month promising myself I would do at least thirty minutes of dedicated on purpose working out so that anything extra was just bonus points.  I have dragged out the Wii that passively agressively reminded me that I have not visited in 253 days.  Why thank you Wii for noticing my absence - missed you too!  And then had the audacity to say I've gained 19 pounds in that time.  I guess the Wii Fit did not want me to visit again for another 253 days!  I have bonded again with the Walking DVD where my son believes he is meant to serve as my arm weight as he giggles along with the super peppy coach on the television screen.  Well that gung-ho attitude lasted a whole five days.  Then a couple more passed and I said "Suzy we have to make this work! The weight has to go and more importantly that blood sugar needs to get under control!!!"  I know in the logical world that exercise greatly impacts my blood sugar but when I am being pulled by Sal the Snacker and called by the cravings I leave logic blocked in a corner screaming for help!  Not that logic needs my help but it knows how much I need IT! And Logic wants to desperately help me in those desperate moments!   

 

So I tried to be pro-active and grabbed two DVDs from the library my free resource to dabble in movement.  One is a bellydance DVD which cracks me up (because at my size the belly dances pretty much all the time on its own  its just not quite in the manner people find attractive ;)  and a God inspired Sweating in the Spirit where we pull out the Hymns and the Gospel singers to motivate our movement.  The "coach" or "teacher"  quoted the above line quite often in the DVD.  Every time she said that scripture verse or the mantra " your body is your temple" - I winced.  Which is what we do when we view an action as dangerous or painful.  This wasn't her intention I'm sure.  She meant to be encouraging.  She was smiling and throwing up her arms in Glory to God.  And I was trying to sink into the floor away from God's gaze. 

 

Hmmmm....That kind of reaction deserves a ponder.  I say I want to beautify and strengthen my body, my temple in honor of God.  As a sign of respect!  That kind of thinking leads to work-outs which leads to so many wonderful options.  An instant gift is my son's reaction.  He is his Mommy's biggest cheerleader.  Certain DVD's cause him to giggle and copy mine and the television's instructor's movements.  Sometimes he finds it so delightful and entangles himself around me like a jungle gym when I do "fun" poses.  Such as straddling my legs or arching my back or creating a downward dog sort of pose that he can climb through and interact with me.  I love that!  I love when he discovers a new move or a new opportunity to see life from a new perspective.  These are the good moments when I am on my 'A' game and doing good.  But then I lose my hold on that scripture of empowerment and it becomes a blaming loud alarm as I stuff my face with bowl after bowl of potato chips.  The only growth besides my stomach is that chips at least last two days and not just one :( 

 

Oooh  If only I could hold unto the power of that verse.  That positive encouragement and reminder that fuels me to making good choices worth building up.  Instead of me sweeping it into dark corners as I run away distracted, confused, and blindly numbing myself with foods that clog and slow my journey instead of fueling me into the next stretch of positive growth.  Hmmmmmmm....

 

Day by day, moment by moment I trudge. 

 

Jesus looked at them and said, "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." --Matthew 19:26 

 

God reach down and help me own the above scripture.  That my body is a temple to serve you to honor you and to always bring glory in your name.  I constantly fail in this area.  I turn away from the responsibility.  I hide my head in guilt and shame to avoid the pain this verse reminds of my failure.  I struggle God because I struggle never because my love for you falters.  Help me to remember to love what you gave me for life, my body and to treat it with respect.  Amen!

 

May your HealthFULL journey hold up a mirror to remind you of the areas where you are strong and where you have grown and a loving reminder of what still could use improvement.  Remember God loves you always where you are - God doesn't wait for you to lose ten pounds or until you can run a marathon.  God loves you right here, right now, and is waiting to hear your heart's desire and to witness ALL of your choices - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful ;)  'Til we meet again. . . 

Counting our Blessings

Drew you are my biggest blessing on Earth - May you never
know a day without faith, hope, or love!

 I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. -- 1 Timothy 2:1-2

If you are social media such as Facebook (which HealthFULL Journey has a community page as well as an official website at www.HealthFULLJourney.com )  in November you probably noticed a lot of postings of daily reasons to be grateful as we approached the Thanksgiving Feast. 

These posts are great reminders that with a little extra thought we remember what truly matters in life.  Our family, our friends, our needs being met, our wants being fulfilled, and the chance to pursue our dreams and that no matter what is in the bank account, or the number on the scale, or the bills in the mailbox we can change our attitude and remember why we should be brimming in gratitude.

Wouldn't that be a good thing to do in December?  We get caught up in the hustle and the bustle of the season and sometimes forget the true REASON.  Maybe this month we could list a blessing and a short prayer.  Perhaps we could remind each other that a few seconds or even a few minutes of quiet, to spread goodwill and cheer will help us connect to the true meaning of Christmas. 

Maybe you are not one for public prayer because of various reasons.  Maybe you could perform a random act of kindness as we countdown the days to Christmas.  Gestures to remind people that gifts, carols, plays, parties, decorations, etc. are wonderful demonstrations of love to share the Good News that our Savior is soon to be born.  But not to forget that these are expressions or acts to demonstrate love.  May they not be the bane or deterrent to what is a joyous season. 

Will you join me in remembering to count your blessings and to share the love of Christ through prayers and acts of kindness to share with the world the true Reason for the Season?

May your HealthFULL Journey include too many blessings to count and continue to multiply as you add blessings to the lives around you. 'Til we meet again. . .

Spreading the good news

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,

 faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. --- 1 Peter 4:10 NIV

My son has a joyful spirit.  He bumps his head and giggles.  He shrieks with delight when others laugh and play along.  And he smiles ....a LOT!  I wish I could take credit but this is his gift.  He loves life....he embraces the moment and without a word challenges you to laugh at the world too.  Drew teaches us to smile at what "now" can bring not what was or what will be but what right now can bring.  He does faces - he's learning to roll his eyes, muster a serious gaze, and show distress but still has a glint in the eye and tilt of the head to share a giggle after he is understood. He makes me want to do better.  To not miss an opportunity to graciously accept the blessings of today but to also seek those moments where I can share my gifts and hopefully add to the glory of God's kingdom. 

For three years I have been sharing on this blog my goal to get healthy. I started writing this in anticipation of the physical pounds just melting off my body.  Sure, I would write that its a journey and a process.  But in my hopes of hopes I thought within a year I would be sitting in my chair typing as my skinny version.  I did not know at that time that the weight I had been carrying wasn't all physical.  I toppled the scale with pounds of hurt, anger, resentment, grudges, disappointments, regrets, and worries - tons and tons of worries that not only piled on the pounds but bound them to my frame.  I had much work to complete, many life experiences to endure, and tons of challenges to conquer.  Many blessings have found our home and covered us in comforts, love, and much hope. Every area of my life has been touched, stretched, and improved in unmeasurable proportions.  But yet the weight remains an ugly picture to such a beautiful journey. 

So this weekend my hubby and I had one of those sincere heart to heart conversations where all the layers of politeness and untruths are left unraveled on the ground leaving only the purest, most sincere answers of honesty remained.  He dug and coached and pulled what I really hoped to accomplish this year.  And after many ----MANY resumes being sent to find that perfect job to replace the nanny job of mine with only five more days  left to work an e-mail requesting an interview found my inbox.  As of today I am re-employed with no days to celebrate my farewell to a summer I will always treasure as I embrace my new role as an afterschool counselor.  The best benefit besides the children I will meet and the work that will challenge me and allow me to share my gifts of education, entertainment, and encouragement I get a free gym membership. Not only do I get to share my faith but I get to be held accountable for my true goal of embracing my physical health.  It's time to get fit and trim.  God will use my strengths but even more impressive is that He will also build up my weakness.  One of my favorite verses is John 3:3 "He must become greater; I must become less."  It can be easy and its always fun to share our gifts and our strengths.  But sometimes the best thing we can do to prove God's awesome power is by showing our weakness and offering it to allow God the chance to display His greatness - for He is the Almighty.    

It was a special weekend for our family and I am blessed to have two amazing guys.  One to teach me the joys of life and one to challenge me to the purest desires of my heart so that I can be the best possible version of myself. 

May your HealthFULL Journey make you Feel Unbelievable & Love Life as you find joy in the here and now by being honest with yourself and sharing the gifts that only you can deliver. 'Til we meet again. . . 

Mizpah

It was also called Mizpah, because he said,

"May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other."

Genesis 31:49

Do you crave silence to truly feel the moment?  Do you crave that connection between you and something bigger, someone important, yourself, or that peace the only God can give?  Its hard today to remove yourself from the noise and excitement of your surroundings.  It is common to hear the whir of electronics and fans especially here in the South. It feels borderline insane to turn off our cell phones. It is just too easy to flip on a radion, television, or computer for connection or even background noise (and let's be honest - some of us flip on all three :)  Even typing these words on the computer I have the music station "The Spirit" playing in the background and a fan whirring over my head. With another ear perked for sounds of my sleeping toddler. 

But two nights ago I sat in silence.  I am reading the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.  It is an interesting book that I picked up at the library because I am a woman who enjoys food and certainly loves God.  One of the activities she mentions is a twenty minute meditation to connect basically with your gut/stomach.  I had recently discussed with my pastor I don't take time to be silent with God.  And when I do take the time to sit down with the complete intention to be silent.  I end up turning the time into a prayer gab fest that then mutates into a random to-do list.  So with those thoughts I told myself it was time to be silent with God.  It was late and my hubby and my son were already submerged into their dreams.  I grabbed the kitchen timer.  The book mentioned twenty minutes but as it was late I didn't want silence to turn into my snoring and elected ten minutes.  I climbed the stairs and left the light on above the stairs.  Grabbed some pretty colorful yarn (a suggestion borrowed from the book) to create a space for me to meet God one on one.  I wrapped the yarn around my seated posture and realized my yarn could have been a tish longer and/or more honestly, that I still have some work to do on my bum size.  All in good time right?  Patience remains a virtue :)   

So here I sit, ready to be silent and meditate on wherever, however God wanted to meet me.  And almost instantly I could appreciate the silence that surrounds me. I could feel my breath connecting to my body.  Slowly, I began to breathe.  Time passes and I feel rejuvenated and then the lists began to form.  Words came to mind to share in this blog entry.  To-do lists started to organize as one thought connected to another.  And quickly I shushed my mind's ramblings.  The book suggests to focus on a repetitive word and when the mind starts to race shut it down by counting seven deep breaths.  I began my counting - one deep breath in and release.  Two - the breath fills the stomach even deeper and exhale nice and long.  Three the breath relaxes me and the departure of breath is let go through a yawn.  Four - five - six and on seven I choose to use the word Mizpah.

I love the comfort of that word.  It was great for a breathing word. Inhale on Miz - exhale on -pah.  Soothing that word flows through the body as it brings images of comfort and connection.  A wonderful feeling as I sink into this silent union with God.  And then I don't know the distraction - a stray thought a physical brush of discomfort and the union is broken as thoughts collide and crash through my mind.  What will I write? How can I share this moment?  What is my schedule tomorrow? Do I have to gather anything tonight? Any food to prep for tomorrow's menu?  Oh don't forget to fold the laundry. Should I do another load tomorrow and eek I wanted to sweep and vacuum tonight but then I didn't. But oh I am going to regret not having that done and yadda yadda yadda.  ENOUGH! ONE - deep dramatic breath in and hasty exhale to clear the clamoring words. 

I would count up to three and start to feel the prayers and thoughts and noises crawling around seeking entrance.  I would start the count over maybe hit the count of four and again the thoughts begin to whirl begging for attention.  By now I want to open my eyes and just peek at the timer.  There is no way it hasn't been ten minutes.  The timer must be broken.  And again INHALE - EXHALE - one. IN- OUT - two, miz pah three - miz. . . pah four....m-i-z . . . p-a-h. . . f-i-v-e; in-hale deep and ex-hale long - six and Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah seven.  Back to silence ready to just be with God.  Who knows how much time passed in the end maybe a minute (or ten seconds :)  and the timer begins to chirp.  And once again I return to my noisy reality.  With promises to God that I will return once again in silence - because everyone needs a chance to speak and for that to happen we must be willing to listen.

May your HealthFULL Journey include time to appreciate the silence and build you up so that you can take on the world full of noise. 'Til we meet again. . .