It was also called Mizpah, because he said,
"May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other."
Genesis 31:49
Do you crave silence to truly feel the moment? Do you crave that connection between you and something bigger, someone important, yourself, or that peace the only God can give? Its hard today to remove yourself from the noise and excitement of your surroundings. It is common to hear the whir of electronics and fans especially here in the South. It feels borderline insane to turn off our cell phones. It is just too easy to flip on a radion, television, or computer for connection or even background noise (and let's be honest - some of us flip on all three :) Even typing these words on the computer I have the music station "The Spirit" playing in the background and a fan whirring over my head. With another ear perked for sounds of my sleeping toddler.
But two nights ago I sat in silence. I am reading the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. It is an interesting book that I picked up at the library because I am a woman who enjoys food and certainly loves God. One of the activities she mentions is a twenty minute meditation to connect basically with your gut/stomach. I had recently discussed with my pastor I don't take time to be silent with God. And when I do take the time to sit down with the complete intention to be silent. I end up turning the time into a prayer gab fest that then mutates into a random to-do list. So with those thoughts I told myself it was time to be silent with God. It was late and my hubby and my son were already submerged into their dreams. I grabbed the kitchen timer. The book mentioned twenty minutes but as it was late I didn't want silence to turn into my snoring and elected ten minutes. I climbed the stairs and left the light on above the stairs. Grabbed some pretty colorful yarn (a suggestion borrowed from the book) to create a space for me to meet God one on one. I wrapped the yarn around my seated posture and realized my yarn could have been a tish longer and/or more honestly, that I still have some work to do on my bum size. All in good time right? Patience remains a virtue :)
So here I sit, ready to be silent and meditate on wherever, however God wanted to meet me. And almost instantly I could appreciate the silence that surrounds me. I could feel my breath connecting to my body. Slowly, I began to breathe. Time passes and I feel rejuvenated and then the lists began to form. Words came to mind to share in this blog entry. To-do lists started to organize as one thought connected to another. And quickly I shushed my mind's ramblings. The book suggests to focus on a repetitive word and when the mind starts to race shut it down by counting seven deep breaths. I began my counting - one deep breath in and release. Two - the breath fills the stomach even deeper and exhale nice and long. Three the breath relaxes me and the departure of breath is let go through a yawn. Four - five - six and on seven I choose to use the word Mizpah.
I love the comfort of that word. It was great for a breathing word. Inhale on Miz - exhale on -pah. Soothing that word flows through the body as it brings images of comfort and connection. A wonderful feeling as I sink into this silent union with God. And then I don't know the distraction - a stray thought a physical brush of discomfort and the union is broken as thoughts collide and crash through my mind. What will I write? How can I share this moment? What is my schedule tomorrow? Do I have to gather anything tonight? Any food to prep for tomorrow's menu? Oh don't forget to fold the laundry. Should I do another load tomorrow and eek I wanted to sweep and vacuum tonight but then I didn't. But oh I am going to regret not having that done and yadda yadda yadda. ENOUGH! ONE - deep dramatic breath in and hasty exhale to clear the clamoring words.
I would count up to three and start to feel the prayers and thoughts and noises crawling around seeking entrance. I would start the count over maybe hit the count of four and again the thoughts begin to whirl begging for attention. By now I want to open my eyes and just peek at the timer. There is no way it hasn't been ten minutes. The timer must be broken. And again INHALE - EXHALE - one. IN- OUT - two, miz pah three - miz. . . pah four....m-i-z . . . p-a-h. . . f-i-v-e; in-hale deep and ex-hale long - six and Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah seven. Back to silence ready to just be with God. Who knows how much time passed in the end maybe a minute (or ten seconds :) and the timer begins to chirp. And once again I return to my noisy reality. With promises to God that I will return once again in silence - because everyone needs a chance to speak and for that to happen we must be willing to listen.
May your HealthFULL Journey include time to appreciate the silence and build you up so that you can take on the world full of noise. 'Til we meet again. . .
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