Always lookin' for a bargain!

 

 



 

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. - Proverbs 21:5

 

 

Raise your hands if you like a bargain?  Whether you are a coupon queen, a negotiating king, a thrifty shopper, or a sneaky sale hound we like to feel victorious over the final deal.  And yet,  we have been convinced that bigger means better, that quantity somehow outweighs quality, and that we must get as much bang for our buck as possible.  We forget that not everything comes in big packages.  I am specifically talking about the value meal.  Today we had a chance to spend the day as a family. We have all been a bit under the weather so our day started late and we decided to go to a BBQ joint (which in South Carolina is pretty much available every other corner ;)  One of my goals is to try new locations and this was a restaurant we hadn't tried yet.  We scoured our coupon drawer (also trying to live within some kind of budget!)  2 victories in one!  The coupon was buy one get one free.   As we approached the counter I studied the menu.  I take menu perusing pretty serious.  I like to try a variety of plates so that I can narrow down the perfect bite. Part of my extreme perfectionistic control perspective.  I'm working on it!  So I am that annoying person in your group who will/has sent away a server at least 2 times before ordering.  I narrowed down my option and consulted my coupon to make sure we were within the parameters of the fine print.  I announced my order proudly and the cashier asked me which size? What? There is a size choice.  Part of my go-to instinct is to grab the bigger size as the meal is free.  And as I am about to speak of course I'll take the bigger size for the better deal.  My mouth clamps shut and my mind gears begin to whirl - is the bigger size really a value?  Either I am going to eat the extra calories as my brain won't tell me until five minutes after swallowing that it is full.  Or I am not going to eat it which may help the scale but then is just a waste of food.  Almost with a stance equal to Superman and a nod of resolve worthy of Wonder Woman I agree to the smaller portion.  Back pat let the applause resound one victory towards the goal!!!! Then the questions continued what 2 sides?  Ummm I wish I could tell you I took the steamed veggies  and turned down the second offer.  But truthfully I asked for corn pudding and potato salad.  We sat down at the table as a family and encouraged our 3 year old we don't sit on the floor or scurry under tables and then as we were the only family in the restaurant let the kid play and talked like adults.  Then three generous plates of food came to our table.  I enjoyed my chicken and had several bites of both sides.  And then I was satisfied.  I have been sick with a bug of some sort so I pretty much inhale liquids and then feel as I am starving for substance.  Take a huge plate but then realize a third of the plate is more than filling.  There was a part of me that wanted to scoop these sides into my mouth but realized again.  Is it really a bargain to shovel extra food in my mouth just because I can?  It was a free meal and even if it wasn't;  regardless how much I eat we still would be out the money we spent.  I offered my son and husband to taste what they want. As I had my fill.  I like tastes that doesn't mean I have to eat all twenty spoonfuls of the helping.  My husband asked if I was done and the quiet resolve and certainty of being satisfied.  That survival almost primitive reflex of a roar to protect my food was seconds away from erupting from my throat.  Whoa!  Step back, reflect, still adequately full, and a simple nod that yes I am finished will not empty the stomach nor will I faint if someone either finishes my food or throws it away.  Whew!  That was close.  How many protective instincts swim around waiting to claim food? Store food?  Hide food?  Just in case I might get the eeniest bit hungry.  Obviously some issues need rethinking and habits some retraining, but today we claim the victory.  Always lookin' for a bargain - but now in light of the big picture of things and not that hasty impractical purchase that just sounds like a bargain ;)

 

May you chase down the thrill of the bargains that will benefit your HealthFULL Journey and gain perspective on what matters, what counts, and what we can do without.  'Til we meet again. . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Resolution Refreshments

 

 

Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground,  but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground.  Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

- Genesis 2: 5 - 7

 

 

 

I like comfort. Don't you?  It's a trap that is easy to fall into - such as the thought(s) "What can you, your establishment, or the world do for me to make MY life easier?"  Oh wait, that is not at all why God created us.  Hmmm... if I look back on my actions I can see I get lost now and then... on pretty much a daily basis.  From the beginning of the Bible God intended us to "work the ground". And I would have to say at least 85% of the time I am looking for someone to either take my work, make my work easier, or procrastinating/hiding from the work.  Thankfully, it is that time of year when we are reminded to start fresh, to seize the day, and make resolutions.  I know many people are not fan of the resolutions but I like them.  If they don't last all year at least the awareness was attained, the attempt happened, and that one stride in the right direction stops the avalanche of backsliding even if temporarily. Goals are important and whether they are made January 1st, March 23rd, July 12th, or October 19th.  Any day of the year is a good day to start improving oneself - hopefully, for the glory of God.   So in honor of 2014 this once again is the year of FULL (Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life) Health with 14 goals.  2013 brought a 30 lb. weight loss and maintenance still quite a ways to go but something to build upon:)   

 

#1 - I believe I have a strong relationship with God but could definitely use more intentional time of devotion to the Almighty. This means the daily commitment I tell myself repeatedly that I am going to improve ...tomorrow.  And though I talk/pray daily most days are those rattled off pleas during crisis or daily rotation of grace during meals, bedtime prayers, or immediate check-ins that somehow morph into my to- do lists.  So with intention I want to pray, read scriptures/devotions, and meditate daily for an hour six days a week.  I need a day of grace to either catch up, schlub, or remember other duties. I'm going to permit myself to start slowly starting at 15 minutes and work up to the hour by the beginning of lent. 

 

 

#2 - Still need to kick this extra weight to the curb - 100 pound loss for 2014.  Which may sound crazy ridiculous but A) my body needs to let it go and B) that's less than 10 pounds a month.  I just need to keep reminding myself this weight took 30 plus years to gain it won't come off tomorrow or next week or even by next month - but some pounds can and will! I've got my gym membership I just need to use it. 

 

#3 - Alright to lose the weight means exercise is necessary.  Again gym membership - no excuses!  My trusty Wii probably could use a good dusting and the library DVDs are always a hit around our house.  Drew loves climbing around/on mommy during the workouts - we've had some huge laughs around yoga :)  The eventual goal is five times a week for an hour would be amazing but will start five times in a week for 15 minutes a day to get me started.

 

#4 - Eating healthy needs to be combined with exercise.  I loved our weekly introduction to produce or a grain.  We got away from this fun habit.  Must begin again!!!

 

#5 - Also more meal planning is needed which means more cooking at home.  I would love to see us eating meatless at least once if not twice a week.

 

#6 - Hard to admit but the water drinking is almost non-existent and the soda drinking way on the rise.  Must flip this around.  I know I feel better when I am drinking mostly water but I always buy the last "soda" every shopping trip.  Plus it is expensive!!! Do I quit cold-turkey?  (That sounds awful which means I probably should).  I have these horror images that I will sneak out to a 24 hour grocery story and buy sodas in the middle of the night sipping the forbidden liquid in parking lots glancing around at any nearby person. 

 

#7 - So physical and spiritual health are covered.  And we are half-way.  Mental health would include wait for it - organizational improvement.  This is not my skill set.  But I will keep improving.  As I am a student procrastination is not my friend.  I am actually going to read all of the assigned reading instead of super skimming and all papers will be done 24 hours before deadline not just being started.  I can already feel the stress sliding off my shoulders. 

 

#8 - Housework would help the mental capacities.  I need to figure out a system and commit to it.  I really do like www.flylady.net working a little bit each day and making huge strides in the big picture.

 

#9 - Emotional health includes sharing my gratitude more.  I have these amazing moments in prayer or reflection how truly blessed I am and then I step back into the real world and rarely convey to those I appreciate.  How strange that we can a thank a stranger in a heartbeat but those we truly love and know it is almost embarrassing to truly say what we mean. 

 

#10 - Sometimes we just need to let it out - those words, those thoughts, those moments that just run around in our heads.  To function I need to dump the excess layers of thought somewhere and that is why I have this blog.  So with this many goals I plan to write five times a week about this HealthFULL Journey.  As a way to make sense of the efforts, accountability, and to motivate these needed changes.  Now some blogs might be just a quote but I think the intention and the consistency will help these goals meet success. 

 

#11 - Still too much of a homebody and I am afraid my son will learn that so 2 outings to new places, non frequent visitings, or social/fun meeting family and friends.

 

#12 - I liked the monthly effort to contribute in some way to a different charity and want to attempt that again.

 

#13 - Financial health means a better budget is needed in our household.  What would help with that is a job for me as extra income would help delete some of these extra bills. 

 

#14 - To have fun, be creative, and to seek out new ways to share my faith.

 

May your 2014 bring you:

" And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor. 13:13

God Bless YOU!!!

 

My plan vs. God's plan

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. --Proverbs 19:21 ESV

 

 Long way to go but I honestly can once again wear clothes from high school as this is my senior jersey from 15 years ago :)

 

For those who have read this blog for awhile you know that I have been working towards a healthier life.  When I started this HealthFULL Journey close to four years ago I figured it would take about a year to fulfill my personal goal to lose a hundred plus pounds as I lived Healthy and began to Finally Understand Life by Living.  Well as I began the journey God opened my heart and my mind and my eyes to how unhealthy I really was.  By focusing on the weight I saw how many areas of my life needed TLC and STAT!  And as I dealt with issues and concerns and rejoined the living the scale only moved slightly (and dramatically up with a complicated pregnancy in 2010.)  Different areas improved and I feel it on the inside no longer am I Finally Understanding and beginning to Live Life but the FULL now on my journey is that I am Feeling Unbelievable & Loving Life.  I am ready to let my outside match the work on the inside.  And the biggest secret I've learned was not to stress about it.  

 

That's right I have started to make progress on the scale and it is that I stopped working so hard.  I am enjoying moments in my life, feeling confident in my choices, and willing to accept, understand, and forgive my choices.  Could I find more time to exercise? Absolutely.  Could I eat healthier? Yeah!  But in the past I would be a slave to doing everything perfect to lose the most weight, in the quickest way possible, earning me imaginary praise from my peers about my amazing willpower, self-discipline, and flawless efforts.  Noticed I said imaginary praise?  Because when you try so hard to be perfect the slip-ups are almost guaranteed and many of them until they become so frustrating and belittling that once again I wave my white flag.  I listen to these non-existent critics and felt bullied constantly turning away from exercise into the loving arms of sweets and salty snacks.  So recently I noticed my "skinny jeans" are actually my comfy jeans these days.  And I jumped on the scale and noticed a little loss. 

 

Which this new development made me analyze what's different as I wasn't specifically overloading my efforts.  And I realized I was making good choices without overwhelming my radar to be perfect and seek every possible good choice I could pick.  I was making realistic strides and following through with little choices. 

 

Here are ten choices that made a difference:

 

 

Exercise:

10. To include my son with at home workouts.  He loves to dance or see people moving to music.  And if he doesn't want to workout - mommy still tries to get at least a couple of minutes in for the day. 

9.  That we seek out fun outdoors.  I am not the best at loving outdoors but I do enjoy a good park or exploration of a new place.  And watching my little one have fun is some of life's best blessings.  It takes the work out of the work out :)

8.  I honestly tried meeting a friend at the gym and you know what - it works.  When we have someone waiting or realize that someone really is going to notice if we miss a workout (or 30 ;)  that motivates us out the door. 

 

Eating:

7.  The more junk food we keep OUT of our homes the less of it we will tend to eat.  Oh sure I am still going through drive thrus but not nearly as many times as I open cupboards in search of those irresistible potato chips.  I am proud to say my laziness outweighs most cravings :) 

6.  So if I eat less junk food by keeping it out of my home.  Wouldn't it make sense that I will eat healthier food if I keep more of it IN my home and the answer is yes.  I still overbuy in hopes of being extra healthy.  But I have to remember I don't have to buy every produce item available.  Baby steps :)

5.  Amazing how a little planning changes our daily/weekly habit of eating.  If we whatever dinner - it includes eating out, or scrounging for easy cravings.  But even a 3 - 5 minute conversation the night before to pull out a protein or prep some veggies during the day increases our chances of eating healthier I would guess a whopping 4 to 1.  It is a lot harder to rationalize a pizza delivery when fish is thawed for dinner with sides that can be ready before the pizza arrives.  It still sometimes happens because there are days that just work out that way but far less when there was that small conversation the night before. 

 

 

Other:

4.  To find distractions that allow the opportunity to engage other senses - Schoolwork was a big one for me to give me the chance to think, to regain confidence as I truly see something followed through and to experience life outside my head/thoughts.

 

3. New environments - my house has a lot of triggers that make me want to eat and food is readily available.  My house also has a lot of comfortable places to be inactive.  Also new environments tend to include more social interaction. which leads to the next positive choice.

 

2. Social interaction - Talking, being, or even avoiding people helps reinforce that relationship connection we all crave as humans.  When we are with others we become more molded to who we are meant to be.  We learn, we observe, and we change as we allow others participation in our daily lives. 

 

1.  and I feel the biggest difference was truly inviting God into my HealthFULL Journey.  I was trying to carry this burden by myself for way too long.  I would make plans by my standards and forgot to seek God's Will.  I feel though I still try to control here and there that I truly have left the baggage at God's Feet.  Which that choice alone feeds confidence into why this attempt is no longer like the others. 

 

The world wants us to focus on ourselves and to get caught up in the worldly standards of beauty, success, power, image, control, and other likewise diversions.  But God seeks our devotion, our complete commitment to serve Him, our faith and our belief in His Son Jesus, and the love for our neighbors.  He wants us to rely on him for the small and the big.  He loves me too much to want me to go my toughest struggles alone. 

 

May your HealthFULL Journey offer you the opportunity to Feel Unbelievable and Love Life.  May you be able to release some of your baggage and burdens by letting go of overplanning and allow God's touch on your daily walk.  'Til we meet again. . .

Responding to the Call

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you

to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."-Ephesians 4:1

 

 

 

 

Two months climbing quickly to three since I've shared my journey.  It has been a little crazy. But wonderful. And challenging. And overwhelming.  And blessed.  And awkward. And demanding. And perfect. And joyous.  And rewarding.  And humbling. 

 

 

So much has happened.  I officially finished my first semester of seminary. Completed Disciple 1. Preached. And played with the cute toddler featured above without guilt and overlooked obligations.  Its challenging to be a mom.  Its challenging to be a student.  Its challenging to be a candidate for ordination. And I am blessed with family willing to help especially my amazing husband who supports me always.  But you know the biggest challenge to be human. 

 

Everyday we each are given twenty-four hours to live daily.  We make our to-do lists we feel the weight of our obligations and for the most part try to conquer our lists according to our goals using our strength.  For whatever reason we forget, we hesitate, we don't want to bother God and invite Him to our daily lives.   

 

 

But when we remember to invite God into our daily lives AND ask for His input, His guidance, and His Will - aren't those the best days we live?  On paper I thought it would be awesome to preach my first "truly adult" sermon ( I preached once when I was nineteen but it was all about me and left very little discussion about God) the Sunday after I completed my first semester of seminary.  In reality I had lost my mind. In just under 6 days (because of my gift for procrastination) I had a ten page paper to write plus a presentation on the same topic, two finals to study for, and a sermon to write while still being a full time mom and wife.  Because of God's Grace, child's cooperation, and the gift of help from my entire family all of the work was done.  Humbled beyond recognition I was able to move on with life feeling accomplished and blessed.  And my reward was the opportunity to truly embrace two weeks in the moment.  Usually I carry burdens of guilt, unworthiness, anxiety, and the syllabus for each class in hopes to accomplish work before the procrastination settles in for a nice long stay. 

 

But not these past few weeks.  It was about making those memories with my son.  He still is young and probably won't remember these moments.  But I will and they are opportunities for him to learn, to experience, to move beyond the familiar and escape the talons of comfort.  I once again look for ways to improve my state of health physically so I purposefully looked for opportunities to leave our house and encourage movement.  We visited a lot of parks, the library playroom, and just enjoyed our own backyard.  My sweet boy had the time of his life with giggles and smiles as he got to run and play.  Everyday his communication increases along with his curiosity and wonder.   He is learning empathy.  I received a splinter on my foot while we visited a park and I shouted Ow!  He stopped climbing the slide and ran over to me to check on my "Ow?" He is learning to connect and show affection independently.  I was watching a Yoga video.  He sat down and started to mimic me and the DVD.  There is a point where you are to close your eyes.  and stretch out your hands.  While I shut my eyes briefly he tenderly reached for my hand and held it for 10 seconds.  Which for a toddler might as well of been an hour. Then a little bit later the DVD told us to breathe with an O shaped mouth with eyes closed.  Out of his curiosity he stuck his finger in my mouth.  The first moment of holding hands was beautiful and touching.  The surprise of the finger was awkward and shocking. But regardless that true quality time reminded me of more blessings than I can count that I get to experience in my everyday life. My precious son encourages me to look at life anew. 

 

Isn't that what we all are to embrace?  To seek out opportunities to serve for the glory of God to fulfill His call by living as the best version of ourselves! 

 

May your journey never trap you but encourage you to be still in gratitude for wherever you are called.  May we see beauty in the dust, experience joy in the grumblings, and truly find the path to where we are called.  'Til we meet again. . . 

Feeling Lost

³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” - Luke 15:31-32 NIV (the end of The Parable of the Lost Son)

I have shared directions aren't my thing.  I get distracted. I rely on others to lead me.  And I tell myself its because I am care-free trying to grab the most from life.  That may be true but a really small truth.  I get fearful of endings - I like epic movie closing credits and that last page of a book that you sit and ponder and refuse to speak for at least ten minutes.  But endings to life events, goals, and the passing of loved ones - leaves me a little more than anxious.  So I self-sabotage, or purposefully develop ADD, or just close my eyes and like an ostrich stick my head in the sand in hopes the world will join me and I never have to finish the "project" and actually think of a new phase.  Can you relate to those moments?  Have any worked for you?  I didn't think so but I was hoping :)  So these last couple of weeks have been my turtle withdrawing where life is overwhelming and complicated and I desperately want to fade into my shell.  But I had an ah ha moment that snapped me out of the funk picking up a book and reading a few quick chapters.  You can catch a quote from Next Door Savior by Max Lucado at the end of the blog.  So today I resolved to pick myself up.  The problem is when you gather all the pain, sadness, bitterness like a comforting shawl around your neck it takes a long while to unwind it.  So I did with the help of my counselor.  I cried, she unwound, and I felt pounds lighter leaving her office.  Sometimes those painful triggers hide in the shadows and pounce when you get around to some spring cleaning.  And while we are discussing the theme of "being lost".  I also will share my sin of being a clutter bug.  Well I have a toddler who has too many hiding places for little objects.  I like to think he is just a sweet boy misplacing items or discoving spatial awareness and not the genius mad scientist who likes to torture mommy wasting hours upon hours looking for the daily confiscation.  I remember putting an exercise DVD in the DVD Player and behold it has disappeared.  I looked quite a bit the other day and gave up.  So today I asked my 2 yr old the simple question.  "Where did this DVD go?"  He smiled, giggled, and ran away as guilty as the gingerbread man.  So I lassoed him up and brought him back to the scene of the crime that I was convinced he had committed.  A ha!  He glanced 2 milliseconds at a spot I remember checking.  But I looked more closely and you know what - Sure enough the lost DVD had been found.  I was overjoyed.  I did not need to pay back the library for a lost item.  YAY (victory arms).  And I said out loud "Isn't it amazing how good we feel once we find what we're looking for?"  I'm speaking from experience - it is even more amazing how good it feels to be found when we are the one lost.  Here is a little poem to share where I've been and I imagine more than one or two of you can relate!  

Feeling Lost

Where have I gone?

Mentally I threw in the towel -

I yelled and screamed  - “ I’m done!”

My tears fall and my heart lets out a scary howl.

 

But you didn’t see it.

Perhaps you saw less shimmer

But slowly I felt I was fading bit by bit

Hope felt lost, not even a glimmer.

 

I don’t mean to sound down

But it has felt like a cage of rain

Pouring upon my head causing a frown;

Too much effort, too much pain!

 

Such cruel words (my own) whipping through my mind.

It has been a struggle - no lie!

But finally the world again seems kind.

There is no more overwhelming pressure to cry.

 

I’ve been found!

Can you hear it?

That confident sound;

That it’s time to finally get fit.

 

No more drama!

No more excuses, no more whining!

It’s time to be the mama-

Time to move and eat healthy dining.

 

It isn’t easy to hide this large frame,

But this is life and death;

And not a game.

So starting today let’s move and gasp for breath!

 

I needed that time of being lost.

It makes me realize that this is a blessing to be found,

Time to let the past be past and forget the crazy cost.

Lets hit the ground running and the only loss should be - pound by pound!

 

It has been a challenging time.  I've started seminary, back on full schedule soda after getting down to drinking only water.  Sleep is erratic.  Its the time of Lent which always throws interesting curves.  My husband started a new job which means new routines. A sick toddler.  Plus a lot of other daily little moments, thoughts, triggers, whines, challenges, and even the blessings that can feel just as overwhelming.  I have felt overloaded by no one's doing but my own.  And when you're your own boss its hard to get a second opinion :)  I also haven't had some daily "me" time without guilt or truly devoted "God" time.  Sure I have lots of reasons to read the bible between seminary and church commitments but that's not true "devotion" time at least I don't know how to honor God when I treat it like a checked off item on the to do list.  So Sunday night I picked up a Max Lucado book "Next Door Savior" - I'm a fan of Max Lucado ( if you are going to read any of his books to try my top three include "Just like Jesus", "Cast of Characters" and "Traveling Light" but I haven't found one yet that wasn't a good read with some good bits to really ponder.  But here is a quote that I just read ten minutes after writing the above poem that just seemed to fit.

 

The next door Savior who whispers this word to the owners of empty nets. "Let's try again - this time with me on board."  - Max Lucado in "Next Door Savior" the end of chapter 5 Try Again

 

May your HealthFULL Journey remind you that you are strong, unique, worthy of love, and even if you find yourself lost that someone is always looking for you to be found! ' Til we meet again. . . 

The Unknown

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. --1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

 

 

 

Well it has been one of those days - weird happenings around every corner, the mysterious knock, the out of blue e-mail, the suprise text, the shocking phone call.  What did all of these events have in common?  They weren't planned.  They were the unknown and for the most part still lead to the unknown.  I have tried to be honest with you the reader; and more importantly myself - that I tend to suffer from anxiety now and then.  It is the main reason I am visiting a counselor to mentally prepare myself to get healthier and find better choices than demolishing a bag of chips or guzzling pop (or soda) can after can everytime the unknown shows up and blankets me with a big ol' case of ANXIETY! 

 

Surprises can be good.  The unknown can lead to wonderful paths of peace, comfort, and be filled with blessings beyond our ability to count.  The unknown can also lead to paths of darkness, pain, fears, and pull us down into despair and worthlessness.  And where do anxious people tend to travel in their imaginations? That's right - speedracing down the scary tumbling route. 

 

Thank goodness God does not reveal tomorrow so that we are not handcuffed today to results of tomorrow based on our decisions in the right here and now.  Oh sure there are times all of us wish a magic 8 ball told the truth or a fortune cookie was a news report instead of a quaint saying.  But the reality is that no one flawlessly predicts the future.  We all live one day at a time though us worriers and type A personalities and control freaks gather as much information and cram it into today to ensure our schedules for tomorrow and the next day and the next week.  Rarely do these techniques return worthy results.  The majority of the time we are left in a state of why did I do all that? Or worry so much?  Or not let go sooner?  Because the unknown terrifies us!

 

Imagine you are in a super dark room with a group of people.  In this group one person has a flashlight and one person has a camera.  The person with a camera thinks it would be super funny to just take a picture in the dark and let the flash blind the room.  Good light? Bad Light?  Good chance the group yells at the picture taker in sarcastic tones of "Thanks for blinding us." "Great now I can't see again!"  "Wonderful I love to be caught off guard with distorted images while in the dark in a huge group of people."  And then the person with the flashlight shines a beam and begins to leave the room?  What happens in this scenario?  People question where they are going.  And several people, if not the majority, will follow to a place where there is light and the opportunity to be more aware. 

 

Because when we are in the unknown and unsure of our footing we seek out comfort, safety, and a place to gain a steady stance.  So when light is offered we are shocked and almost offended by the false hope that distorts our surroundings even more. But when a true beacon of hope is offered we almost can't help ourselves but follow this gift of sight even when we are unsure of where it leads. 

 

The unknown. Like I said several opportunities may or may not be available to us.  We continue to seek God's guidance so that we may follow the lights of hope and aren't blinded by the flashes of distortion. In the unknown/the dark it is easy to feel anxious and alone.  But we have to remember we are never truly alone and God wants us to remove our blankets of doubts, worries, hesitations, and all that we like to hide under when responsibility, opportunity, and extra work appear without guarantees of success.  The unknown: a scary place? a paradise? a launching pad? a temporary landing?  momentary exploration?  Where does the unknown lead you?

 

May your HealthFULL Journey guide you to impossible cliffs, exhilarating ravines, memorable horizons, and fields of peace.  Because a journey means to move from here to the unknown and beyond.  'Til we meet again. . .

Remembering 2012 with the 5 senses

"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other." - Mark 9:50 NIV

 

 

 

Ahhh! 2012 has come and gone but left an imprint of memories based on our five senses.  On facebook I have been sharing a daily gratitude and in Suzy kind of fashion I managed to catch up my last three today.  My final gratitude for the year was my five senses.  As I have been reflecting as most of us do this time of year and am grateful to be over a cold I have been thinking a lot about our abilities to smell, hear, taste (three of the senses usually lost to bad colds) and the sight and touch off-kilter with these crazy super viruses.  So in honor of this line of thinking I wanted to share five of my favorite experiences with each sense to close out 2012.

 

Sight

 

In January, my little boy received his first haircut.  He went from baby to toddler instantly!

I don't think I could give up watching my husband Corey play with Drew.  They have had a special bond since day one and it blesses my heart to pieces. 

 

September brought sight to my Drew.  I hated glasses and started at age five.  My cutie wasn't even two and they suggested it.  We still don't wear them out of the house (Drew still isn't crazy about the touch on his face - loves to wear them but constantly tugging at them.  And if it is possible they make him a touch more adorable :)

 

The gorgeous sunrise to finish out this year was amazing - with the bright pinks and highlights of oranges and golds.  I wish I could paint it - just breathtaking! 

 

The last would have to be my acceptance letter to Seminary.  I was walking with my son and tore open the letter before we got into the house and started crying.  My son starting to pick up other's emotions came running up to me with a lip quiver.  And then to see my husband's reaction to the news after our son passed him the letter.  There are just some moments that leave such an enduring impression you are forever changed. This was one of them :)

 

 

Sound

 

Number one - my son's voice.  Besides my first conversation ever with my husband (May 1998) I would have to say hands down my next favorite conversation was the morning after we put up our Christmas tree this year and my son starting the conversation with a Whoa!

 

VBS at church this past summer was such a special blessing and I got to co-lead music and to hear these children sing nightly for almost a week.  Their voices lifting up praises to God - Awesome! Truly awesome!

 

Another one that happened recently was when we got to light the Advent Candle and Drew let out his excited cheer at the end.  It felt like the "official" start to Advent equivalent to "Let's play ball!"

 

I love to hear the youth/kids discuss a Sunday School lesson or excited over a story in Godly Play.  There is just that warmth from your heart and burst of energy that flows through you as the children's excitement is contagious!

 

My husband's rich baritone voice offering encouragement, support, and the always touching "I love you's".  Nine years and his voice still races my heart, tingles my toes, and the occasional flip-flop of my stomach. 

 

Smell

 

I am not a big sniffer but I will try my best.  This one is going to sound crazy but diapers.  A fresh diaper just lifts my spirit - it means we get to start over all fresh and clean.  I know - crazy but I am a mom to a two year old -  trust me a diaper is like my alarm clock/scheduler.  The smell is highly telling of how my day is going to be :)

 

I love the smell of pumpkins and cinnamon and those warm autumn scents.  Don't get me wrong I appreciate the sweetness and lightness of summer with berries, melons, and citrus.  But I just love the Autumn season and the warmth and coziness of those smells that they bring to the background. 

 

Our house is starting to take on flavor whiffs as we cook more and more at home especially cooking that uses the crockpot creating those simmering wafts of smell that permeate our home from autumn through winter.

 

Play-doh just seems like a good memory smell of this year as I have definitely been more hands on with the younger population - being a full time mommy, which means playdates, being a nanny, an after-school counselor, and working with the children of our church.  That saltiness of Play-doh seems to be under my nose constantly.

 

The antiquated musty book smell as you open a library book as I have been making it more of a point to find books to read for learning as well as pleasure.

 

Taste

 

MMMMMMMMMMMM.  I am recalling the taste of ice-cream as it is one of my favorites.  It also reminds me of one of my favorite days with my nieces and nephews this summer as we learned the importance of Patience!

 

The saltiness of goldfish is very popular this year as my son discovered a love for them, we serve them at our Feast of Godly Play, and other kiddie events. Definitely the taste of goldfish ranks high for 2012.

 

Ahhh I would have to include my greatest find on Pinterest.  Sour Jewels ( grapes rinsed with water - don't dry - and then roll them in jello powder.  It makes a really cool effect if you coordinate colors.  Black cherry with Black grapes and the most popular lime with green grapes.) Super easy!  Kids love them and there are plenty of worst snacks out there.  I like to think of them as almost the healthy version of sour gummies :)  Used at least four times and a major success each and every time!!!

 

My favorite trick to improving any vegetable is roasting them and my favorite find in 2011 but ate plenty of them in 2012 is roasted Brussel Sprouts!  Oh they have such a fun crisp bite with a wonderful rich nutty flavor after roasting in the oven. 

 

My favorite find of 2012 was roasting my white pumpkin seeds.  Oh so good - sweet, salty, crunchy - YUMMY!

 

Touch

 

This sense I think speaks the most to my heart.  If you like Max Lucado one of my favorite writings that just sits heavy on my heart is found in Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado discussing how he healed the man with leprosy.  It just opened my eyes to how important touch is and how so many of us take it for granted.  Also if you have ever read Gary Chapman's Five Languages of Love he highlights how importance touch is to a loving relationship and how we communicate through touch to/with each other.

 

So my five favorite "touches".

 

The keys of the keyboard clicking under my nails/fingers as a data entry clerk as well as at home blogging or attempting to create new websites.

Beauty days when I was a nanny getting my nails done, my hair, and even my make-up.  I can feel the tugs, and tickles of brushes.  And the giggles at the final "look". 

 

Drew shows support to my work outs by becoming my "obstacle" or extra weight.  He loves to be picked up if I am marching to a DVD.  Or if it is a yoga/pilates one he likes to crawl under or over me or through my legs depending on the stance.  It makes me giggle and breaks up the routine quite often!

 

The best day I had working as an afterschool counselor was the day we explored our senses.  I was responsible for the touching exhibit.  I had eight different textures hidden under a blanket (so as not to be seen) for the kids to explore through touch.  It was fun to watch their eyes not completely sure what they were to feel (all household pantry staples - dry pasta, cooked pasta, shredded carrots, chunked baby carrots, water, dry rice with dry beans, whole lemon, broken saltine crackers).  I offered some of them the chance to opt out but everyone wanted a "go".  Some even brought parents back.  It just was one of those YAY moments :)

 

Of course I saved my favorite for last - cuddles with my two favorite guys - my cozy cuddles with my son as we listen to music, read, or watch television.  And one of the reasons I fall in love with my hubby daily is his all encompassing world protective loving warm embrace - the safest most wonderful place to be is in his arms. 

 

  Whoa! as my son said this year has been quite a wonderful year to remember.  It has felt like a whirlwind at points and then quite a lull during other moments.  Jesus encourages us to remain salty.  To keep adding our flavor to the world so that together we can create the perfect harmonious recipe of peace as we find the best part of ourselves to combine with the best of others to glorify our Wonderful Magnificent Creator.

 

May your HealthFULL Journey help you to remember the good moments that built a stronger flavor of your salt.  And feel free to lose those moments that dull your flavor. Otherwise continue Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life! 'Til we meet again. . .

 

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How would you spend your last 24 hours?

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. 

So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  -- Romans 14:8



 

 

Ho! Ho! Ho! mixed with a little Bah! Humbug! and a teensy bit of "It's the End of the World as We know it!" set to music.  Once again the Christmas season snuck into my life.  I need snow!!! This Southern no snow surrounding plays tricks on my mind that there is loads of extra time.  It is 12-22-12 (and four minutes) as I write this blog.  Which means I am still here and hope the rest of the world is doing as well :) These last couple of days my hubby and I are trying to squeeze in as much of the holiday spirit as we can as most households we have been experiencing colds, bugs, viruses, and just the yucky mean germs.  I have been scrubbing surfaces with one hand and blowing my nose with the other.  And then I looked at the calendar and either the world was supposed to end or I had less than three days to decorate, send out christmas cards, enjoy the holiday, and shop and wrap like there is no tomorrow!  No problem! 

 

We put up our tree while our little two year old slept snugly in his bed and I wish I had taped his reaction.  It was priceless - Speech Therapy is doing wonders as we actually had a spontaneous conversation - a limited vocabulary but he definitely led the topics ;)  And slowly as the week progresses the ornaments are moving farther North on the tree, inch by inch,  I am surprised it is still standing as there is so much weight to the top and none on the bottom :)  I also insisted on Tuesday that we go out and have some Christmas fun and to look at a Christmas Tree festival where local businesses and organizations sponsor and decorate trees.  So many fun themes - my favorites include a snowman, an angel, Wizard of Oz tree, and Special Needs Awareness.  Beautiful and creative and FREE!  What a fun way to find some cheer. 

 

So my question "How would you spend your last 24 hours?" (Obviously assuming you know its your last day.)  This also is predictable around the 12-21-12 date but it was a question I asked my youth Sunday School class last week.  It was my attempt to wrangle in the conversation and facilitate around my point.  However, I was expecting similar answers to mine - something low key with family and friends to just spend time with those we love.  I forgot how teenagers think.  There may or may not have included an answer of peeing off the Eiffel Tower.  And I may or may not have pointed out half your day would be spent traveling encouraging a new answer that only changed the building not the activity.  I also may or may not have had a youth say they would do all of the crazy (good or bad) events they have always wanted to try and spend the last hour in confession to be forgiven.  I appreciated the desire to be absolved but again was looking for time with those we cherish.  But it was their choice and I appreciate their feedback (at least they're talking is the silver lining :)  

 

Also to be fair I was on my third dose of cough medicine mixed with pain relievers/fever reducer and a combination of not such good sleep.  It is hard to be enthusiastic when in the back of your mind you are counting down to climbing back into bed.  But I think that question has hung with me all week.  How do I want to spend my time? I knew the people (my husband and son) and everyone else I love is bonus :)   And though I was 99.9% sure I would see 12-22-12 and many days after I certainly didn't want to miss a special moment with my family.  We have been rushing around like crazy because of the holidays, changes we've made in our household, and just my anxious personality that doesn't want to miss a thing!  My hubby gave me permission the other night as I stood and complained of being overwhelmed.  He gave me permission to just play with my son - to forget the chores/duties/whatever other events were bogging down my spirit.  He encouraged me to have fun and enjoy this precious time.  So today we did.  We admired the tree, we colored, we played fort, we tickled, we giggled, we sung, we ran errands (which got a bit tense) but we brought our dog which pleased my son and puppy to no end :)  And then when my hubby got home we popped some popcorn and watched a Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas which my son was glued to the television.  He agreed to snuggle because I agreed to sit on the floor.  We then went to a live nativity at our church which is amazing!  My son was so excited to see a real camel.  We then told him he could pet it and he took four steps back shaking his head no!  We walked the town, signed the census, saw the shops, and heard some stories. But at the end we saw the Holy Family and heard the angel's message and then heard my own angel sum up the event with a "hee haw" at the donkey and pointed to the star of Bethlehem - telling us to "Look!" "Look!"  We grabbed a cookie for the road and drove around looking at Christmas Lights.  We all agreed on a house that was both beautifully decorated and gorgeous and Drew's approval to live there.  I am guessing it only costs 1.1 million ;)   Kind of out of the stay at home mom's budget but who knows - miracles happen every day :)  We picked up chinese food on the way home - our bug-a-boo went to bed with no fuss.  It really was the way I would like to spend my last 24 hours -  Creating memories with my loved ones, remembering and honoring my Savior's birth, a little bit of indulgence and dreaming, and feeling warmed by the magic of Christmas (Hope, Love, Joy, Peace).

 

May your HealthFULL Journey leave you Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life as you ponder, enjoy, and cherish this Christmas Season.  May you know the Reason for the Season and may you feel surrounded by love. 'Til we meet again. . . 



Workin' up a Sweat

 

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit,

who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

You are not your own; you were bought a price. 

Therefore honor God with your body. -- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

 

Can I be honest?  This piece of scripture haunts me.  I have confessed there have been many binges and some more recent than I want to remember let alone admit.  We joke about my downfalls in our home.  The foods that call my name at all hours when in the house and have a direct line to my Sal the Snacker (Chips (no self-control!!! nada - zilch!), Ice Cream (some control but little) and Pop has a hold I can't even describe!) I ban them I invite them I kick these foods out of the house again and there is that one moment of weakness and they move in their brother's wife's cousin's dog's best friend and everyone down the line.  I crave, I rationalize, I promise, I threaten, I ignore, and then I break down.  This can be agonizing.  And then I giggle when someone mentions I forgot to eat today - don't you hate that?  I nod and chuckle as if I am "in" on the joke but I'm giggling because I cannot fathom a day in this world where I would forget a snack let alone a day worth of meals!  I eat out of nervousness I am not 100% sure if that counts as emotional eating.  Because my anxiety can turn any moment into a nervous activity which then gives me permission to chow down.  Today a tongue in cheek confession was made to my husband as we joked about my temptations.  I will eat versions of those items that I don't even like because of what they say to me.  I remember drinking the world's grossest soda - It was blue and the name was something like blue mountain soda sparkling blue this was 10+ years ago.  It tasted like foaming carbonated paint thinner or some other household cleaner - rough stuff.  I believe I finished half a can and that is the only pop in this world I have not finished.  I used to find some diet sodas that tasted like soap but did I buy them more than once.  Why yes I did!  That has to say something - and probably not the nicest  or wisest comment. 

 

So what does this have to do with workin' up a sweat?  Well I recently stopped by the library for rejuvenation into the work-out world.  I started off strong this month promising myself I would do at least thirty minutes of dedicated on purpose working out so that anything extra was just bonus points.  I have dragged out the Wii that passively agressively reminded me that I have not visited in 253 days.  Why thank you Wii for noticing my absence - missed you too!  And then had the audacity to say I've gained 19 pounds in that time.  I guess the Wii Fit did not want me to visit again for another 253 days!  I have bonded again with the Walking DVD where my son believes he is meant to serve as my arm weight as he giggles along with the super peppy coach on the television screen.  Well that gung-ho attitude lasted a whole five days.  Then a couple more passed and I said "Suzy we have to make this work! The weight has to go and more importantly that blood sugar needs to get under control!!!"  I know in the logical world that exercise greatly impacts my blood sugar but when I am being pulled by Sal the Snacker and called by the cravings I leave logic blocked in a corner screaming for help!  Not that logic needs my help but it knows how much I need IT! And Logic wants to desperately help me in those desperate moments!   

 

So I tried to be pro-active and grabbed two DVDs from the library my free resource to dabble in movement.  One is a bellydance DVD which cracks me up (because at my size the belly dances pretty much all the time on its own  its just not quite in the manner people find attractive ;)  and a God inspired Sweating in the Spirit where we pull out the Hymns and the Gospel singers to motivate our movement.  The "coach" or "teacher"  quoted the above line quite often in the DVD.  Every time she said that scripture verse or the mantra " your body is your temple" - I winced.  Which is what we do when we view an action as dangerous or painful.  This wasn't her intention I'm sure.  She meant to be encouraging.  She was smiling and throwing up her arms in Glory to God.  And I was trying to sink into the floor away from God's gaze. 

 

Hmmmm....That kind of reaction deserves a ponder.  I say I want to beautify and strengthen my body, my temple in honor of God.  As a sign of respect!  That kind of thinking leads to work-outs which leads to so many wonderful options.  An instant gift is my son's reaction.  He is his Mommy's biggest cheerleader.  Certain DVD's cause him to giggle and copy mine and the television's instructor's movements.  Sometimes he finds it so delightful and entangles himself around me like a jungle gym when I do "fun" poses.  Such as straddling my legs or arching my back or creating a downward dog sort of pose that he can climb through and interact with me.  I love that!  I love when he discovers a new move or a new opportunity to see life from a new perspective.  These are the good moments when I am on my 'A' game and doing good.  But then I lose my hold on that scripture of empowerment and it becomes a blaming loud alarm as I stuff my face with bowl after bowl of potato chips.  The only growth besides my stomach is that chips at least last two days and not just one :( 

 

Oooh  If only I could hold unto the power of that verse.  That positive encouragement and reminder that fuels me to making good choices worth building up.  Instead of me sweeping it into dark corners as I run away distracted, confused, and blindly numbing myself with foods that clog and slow my journey instead of fueling me into the next stretch of positive growth.  Hmmmmmmm....

 

Day by day, moment by moment I trudge. 

 

Jesus looked at them and said, "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." --Matthew 19:26 

 

God reach down and help me own the above scripture.  That my body is a temple to serve you to honor you and to always bring glory in your name.  I constantly fail in this area.  I turn away from the responsibility.  I hide my head in guilt and shame to avoid the pain this verse reminds of my failure.  I struggle God because I struggle never because my love for you falters.  Help me to remember to love what you gave me for life, my body and to treat it with respect.  Amen!

 

May your HealthFULL journey hold up a mirror to remind you of the areas where you are strong and where you have grown and a loving reminder of what still could use improvement.  Remember God loves you always where you are - God doesn't wait for you to lose ten pounds or until you can run a marathon.  God loves you right here, right now, and is waiting to hear your heart's desire and to witness ALL of your choices - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful ;)  'Til we meet again. . . 

To Be Still. . .

Be still and know that I am God. . . . -Psalm 46:10 (NIV -  partial verse)

 

This is not my home ;)  Welcome to the Biltmore Estate Christmas 2008 - Ashville, NC




Shhhh!!!!!! . . . . . .Deeply Breathe In and Long Exhale. Repeat and enjoy this time for one minute.  Wasn't that nice?  It is okay to take time to be quiet in this hurried season.  It helps to remember the REASON for the Season.  In the middle of a Christmas party I took a twenty minute nap.  Well maybe not in the center of the room but quietly snuck out to take in some quiet time.  A lot of news has been moving through my household  - some good, some not so good, and all a little bit stressful and then pour on the activities and schedule of the busy Christmas Season and I thought I was about to lose my mind. 

 

So I took a few moments to sneak out of my brother's house to appreciate the efforts of their entire household (echoed in many households this time of the year) from their decorations, to yummy treats, to beautiful children clad in their Christmas attire, while hosting a cozy festive affair inside their home.  I was without my guys as they were recuperating at home from their little bouts of illness. So it was me, myself, and I and I snuck unto their pool deck out of sight from the bustling household brimming with joy. 

 

It was the perfect moment to be still.  My brother loves Christmas lights - I mean loves them all: Icicles, twinkling, chasing, multi-colored, white lights, big bulbs, little bulbs, nettings, big ol' tacky Christmas blow-ups to a beautiful humble nativity scene removed from all of the over the top brightly colored items.  This scene serves as a great reminder to enjoy the festivities but remember the true REASON we celebrate and to preserve the holiness of the occasion.  Enjoy the treats, exchange the gifts but please take a moment to reflect on that miraculous night of holiness - the birth of our Savior - Emmanuel (God is with us). 

 

So as I said I snuck up the stairs which were high-lighted by multi-colored changing "carrot" lights (affectionately and appropriately described by my niece).  On their pool shed are slowly twinkling white lights that tried to be the death of my brother as he precariously stood on a slanted ladded resting on slanted ground.  Not the first time my brother's extra work benefitted me - he's a pretty good guy I must admit ;)  The air had a nice cool crispness as I settled into a pool chaise to face the white lights and surrounded by the decorated railing of carrot lights (cracks me up because they do look like carrots - how yet again a child's honest perspective daily changes my limited vision).  While resting in the moment enjoying the beautiful lights, the slight breeze nipping at my nose, and the sounds of my nieces and nephews running around with exuberant joy only to stop to welcome more guests - I felt God in the stillness.  It was beautiful.  I felt His warmth, His peace, and His love.  As I snuggle deeper into the chaise I begin to hear Christmas music and was worried for my sanity.  Was I really hearing Christmas carols or imagining them so vividly?  As a chuckle escaped from my lips I recalled that my brother has over the top Christmas decorations one being a tree that stands quite tall and dances/lights up in rhythm to the Christmas carols it emits.  Its a decoration that stands yards above the rest in function, fun, and true Christmas delight :)  

 

But as I sit there alone and just resting in the stillness I recounted all the times that I have enjoyed the quietness and wonder of enjoying Christmas lights and used them as almost a means of healing.  Christmas lights are a good ol' friend that has seen my rough edged kind of memory moments including concussion, break-ups (pre and post), breakdowns, rough illnesses of my own and those I love.  I think the soothing comfort traces back to early childhood as this was one of my favorite family Christmas traditions.  Every year mid-December (usually in honor of my brother's birthday) we would drive around for hours looking at the Christmas decorations surrounding our community.   Of course we had our yearly favorites, we would comment on many new additions those we liked or those we didn't, and we would also be still for minutes upon minutes just soaking up the delightful twinkling decor. 

 

All of this comfort of memories surrounded me with warmth and contentment as my breathing slowed into a deep quiet rhythm, my brain lulled into rest by the quiet stillness, and minutes passed as I enjoyed a Christmas night under the dark sky allowing the Christmas lights to shine even more. 

 

May your HealthFULL Journey be overflowing with joy, fellowship, and fun.  May there also be time to be still, quiet, and resting in the arms of God.  'Til we meet again. . .