Tresses that were full of Stresses

Oh when I put on my Supermom Jeans I felt powerful and energetic.  After cutting my hair I felt like a brand-new woman!!! The tresses had to go.  I haven't had a proper haircut in two years, maybe a quick trim - two at the most.  That's a lot of time and a lot of damaged hair that held too many stresses.  My hair was the longest it had ever been.  As a society I believe we have taught many people that long hair usually equals a pretty factor.  That there is pride in our locks and it shows we have willpower and patience to grow out our hair.  Or people like me who just don't get around to the hairdresser.  Believe me this haircut is long overdue and been on the to-do list for at least six months.  My poor fantastic hubby patiently listened to every one of my complaints, whines, outbursts about this too long of hair.  He listened as I yakked about how I pulled my hair (accidentally) and my son pulled on my hair (for sport), how the chairs would tug my hair and I would wake-up with headaches as I continually gave myself whiplash as I would roll over my hair and then try to pull my head up.  Argh!  And finally it was time.  I called, I made an appointment and slashed it off my to do list.  The stylist cut my hair within five minutes of my arrival and as soon as that scissor snipped my hair - angels sang and I smiled the mega-watt smile. 

Because it wasn't just hair she cut.  She helped my de-stress the tresses.  That hair held heartache and worry as I would run my hands through my hair as I sang and whispered to my son in the NICU so many months ago.  Those abandoned strands held pain and frustration as I tugged it into a messy bun after my hair being pulled yet again by one of the many sources.  Those locks were loaded with guilt as I hid my face behind them in hopes to fade away from the world.  There were some dark moments these last two years and those hairs held every memory of sadness, every second of anger, and every instance of worry.  It held no joy because I keep that in my heart :)  But the tresses were stressed and therefore became more stress.

Last night I slept like a baby as I drifted into the land of slumber roughly nine o'clock.  Which is crazy unheard of behavior from me.  Which meant I woke up early with energy.  Not anger or frustration at the early rising but well rested and headache free.  I was able to be at my daily goal of seven thousand steps before ten am as I had a work-out with the Bollywood Burn (newest dvd from the library ) and yes it did burn.  I haven't worked-out besides walking in far too long of time.  Good time to mix things up since I was a brand new me :)  Then unto a walk with one of my favorite guys and canine :)  Then for an encore this afternoon I was back to raking.  I did a small section with my supermom jeans but without my stressful tresses I was able to conquer 2/3 of the yard.  Yay! 

Hair does tell a story.  I love how a seasoned hair stylist can read your lifestyle by the state of your tresses.  As we were deciding on cut and color (as I felt two years without a haircut meant there was room to splurge :)  my stylist mentioned how I could pull off a lighter blonde as I had light hair as a kid.  I did.  But I thought that shade was long gone but she knew.  She could tell how many countless tugs of ponytails and buns my hair experienced.  But my hair was telling a different story that I no longer wanted to co-author.  My tresses were displaying all my stresses and resentment and hurt and on and on.  But these days I have a pep to my step and a sappy to my happy :)  It was time to share that story with the world.  Thank you tresses for being a long for the ride - but in the nicest way possible - GOOD RIDDANCE!

May your HealthFULL Journey eliminate the stresses,  polish the tresses, and make you feel like a more joyful energized brand new version of yourself. 'Til we meet again. . .

The High Dive

Funny for me to be thinking of the High Dive as we are in the dead of winter.  But is it really?  Our weather has been a mix of transitions of winter to spring and all the sludgy gloom it brings and then a couple of afternoons that are so beautiful you would think it is spring passing into summer.  Maybe I am craving sunshine and am anticipating the pool.  But the High Dive I have pictured in my thoughts is a very specific diving board located in the heart of East Grand Forks, MN.  I grew up there.  And every summer most of the kids rode their bikes, walked, or had parents drop them off at this local hot spot.  There were two low diving boards (I think? it has been a long time since I have been to that pool) and one High Dive (this I definitely remember).  The line for the High Dive was usually made up of older kids (pre-teens and the brink of teenagerdom).  It was a place to laugh, to share secrets, gossip, to see and be seen, and the oldest person around was usually a lifeguard maybe in their early twenties. 

But I bring up the High Dive because sometimes when I begin to feel vulnerable or on the brink of conquering a fear it feels like attempting the High Dive.  Sometimes with a bit of confidence, coaxing from friends, and a joy of showing off I would climb that high ladder.  At the time I would guess twenty four feet in the air.  Maybe in reality ten - twelve feet?  But with sheer determination I would pull myself up step by step until my feet were on the platform and bravely stride to the end and jump.  Just jump.  But there were moments if I paused to think I am at the edge of the board.  This makes me nervous.  And looking down into that abyss of sparkling blue water of a whole twelve feet I would scamper back to the safety of the railings where the diving board is anchored to the ladder.  And sometimes swallow my pride, stick my tail between my legs and scurry down the steps.  Face growing red with shame while choking on the fear of being so close to excitement, growth, unknown opportunity and only seeing the possibilities of pain, drowning, and criticism.  Oh and there would be catcalls, hollers, and snickers.  But thankfully, because of the adrenaline of fear mostly one hears only their racing heartbeat as we walk the walk of shame right past the crowd. 

Its scary and a hassle to be on the brink of stretching our boundaries;  Redefining ourselves by realizing we aren't who we've always been.   There is such a comfort to those railings and even more comfort looking up at the ladder as a goal.  But the fun happens when we leave the board and dive into water, letting go of fears, letting go of boundaries, and truly living in the moment.  There is an honesty to the vulnerability.  Oh sure I jumped the high dive many times before fear seized me I was ignorant.  I knew pain was possible after a particularly embarrassing and PAINFUL belly flop.  You know the kind with a huge splash after a thunderous slapping sound as the skin hits the water.  Did you wince a little at the description?  Because yeah it hurt.  But back to allowing ourselves to be vulnerable - no shell of bravado, no cocky repertoire, but just a desire to improve, to grow and shown with deliberate actions.  This HealthFULL (Fully Understanding Life by Living) Journey has brought so many blessings into my life.  But sometimes the work is not fun, doesn't feel rewarding enough, and I so want to retreat back to the safety of the railings where life feels a little more secure.  That my surroundings are more to my comfort.  But it is that moment of purposefully stepping toward the edge of the high dive and the board starts to dip towards the pool when excitement travels through the nerves and the heart pumps in anticipation of the next moment.  The moment we have built up in our minds as we climbed those ladder steps, the thought of success dangling in our vision when letting go of the safety of the railing, and is now within our grasp as we look down at our toes lined up with the edge of the board.  So many options now are at our disposal: Do we retreat? Do we plummet awkwardly into a belly flop?  Do we muster our all of our strength and begin to bounce as hard as we can for the jump of a lifetime?  Do we turn around and get fancy with a backwards flip?  So many options once we let ourselves be vulnerable and let go of all the daily trappings we fell prey.

Step up to the edge and let's dive into greatness together. 

May your HealthFULL Journey give you a ladder to climb, a railing to cling, and a board to clear. 'Til we meet again. . .    

Sometimes we NEED a victory dance!

Due to my husband's influence I have joined the legions of football fans; mostly NFL but some college.  It has become a special weekly event for my hubby and I as we don our black and gold.  I try to dress our son in the appropriate spirit wear as well.  However he usually cheers from his crib as it is either bedtime or naptime.  We do look forward to sharing this tradition with him.  I won't get started ranting about athlete salaries because that leads to celebrity and politicians vs military, teachers, fire personnel.  But the game does unite communities, families, and sometimes loners.  My hubby is from New Orleans and it is the city where we met.  It holds a special place in both our hearts.  We felt the loss as Katrina damaged and destroyed a beautiful piece of our country. But the people rallied.  Did the Saints heal the city?  They certainly helped strengthen that amazing community spirit.  I witnessed Katrina's destruction but I also celebrated in the French Quarter after the Saints won their first SuperBowl.  It truly was a memory of a lifetime.  We might not have ran the field but in our hearts we matched them yard for yard.  As I gain knowledge and seek healthier alternatives in my daily choices I have a newfound respect for athletes.  They don't take care of their bodies for simply appearances. They do it for performance and functionability.  They fight for their livelihood.  Day in and day out they push, they strain, they refrain, and hope to avoid injury.  So when they not only accomplish their goal but surpass everyone's expectations; including their own.  They celebrate.  They create humorous, touching, or offensive actions to celebrate their hard work.  And when we're rooting for that team we too share the victory and celebrate accordingly.

Could you imagine how different life would be if we shared our victory dances and joined others in theirs?  When someone earns an A we applauded instead of whispered "they must have cheated."  Or when someone loses ten pounds we cheered instead of sneered.  Maybe we don't need to pat others' fannies but we all could pass more pats on the back around.  We are quick to criticize - everyone, especially ourselves.  And with such critical eyes we forget to shout our Hoorays!

My son is at that fun age where he is starting to mimick adult patterns.  We applaud his victories and nine times out of ten he stops to applaud with us with joy in his eyes. And I get the distinct feeling he is applauding our applause.  His response is so genuine it brightens my mood, lightens my stress, and reminds me that we all do need a victory dance.  We need the victory dance; to celebrate, to encourage, and to connect. 

May your HealthFULL Journey be full of victory dances for yourself and for those you cherish.  We all deserve a celebration. ' Til we meet again. . .

Life Changes

Here is a top ten list of how I know my lifestyle is improving healthwise:

10.  No longer do I believe the mean laundry fairies are shrinking my jeans but actually replacing them with bigger sizes.

9.  My tag was hanging out of my shirt the other day and instead of freaking out that someone might have seen the size.  I was like I hope someone saw the size this shirt is from college - my first go around - which means it was purchased over ten years ago.

8.  Instead of being nervous about my blood pressure and blood sugar being too high I wonder if they are too low.

7.  We need to get out of the house.  (I am borderline hermit! - this is major!)

6.  Soup or salad can be the whole meal and not just the side/appetizer.

5.  Oh I'm thirsty I should grab some water.

4.  When can I fit in my thirty minute work-out today?

3.  I'm cooking, by choice, and enjoying it!!!

2.  I have great parking karma today.  There is a spot right next to the steps.

1.  I feel good and have tons of energy (most of the time :)

Some random thoughts but showing the big picture.  Little by little I'm finding the healthier version of me.

May your healthFULL Journey delight you with the simple blessings of how your effort equals true results.  'Til we meet again. . .

Cleaning up my act

I was so excited for Friday night.  My hubby and I were going to party like we were a couple in their mid twenties basically meaning we were childless for a night as a grandma and grandpa offered their services for a night.  Yay us!  Oh so much fun was in store like - eating dinner when we wanted and no scheduling around our son's feedings and bedtime.  We could be as loud as we wanted watching tv or talking.  We could both just relax in separate rooms watch tv, listen to music, play on the computer and no one had to be on monitor duty or entertaining our lil' one.  And we could watch a movie uninterrupted, together!  Crazy times I realize.  I picked up a treat after work and was driving home with a big smile on my face.  I also had a lightbulb moment about my HealthFULL Journey to share with Corey.  I have become obsessed with this journey and myself (my actions, my emotions, my troubles,  me me me, my my my! Blech!) Focus equals great, intensity sometimes beneficial, obsession like Fatal Attraction means disaster!  So Friday I tuned out of all "me" business and started to observe my surroundings and keep things positive. I planned my Friday to be fabulous and myself to be friendly.  Oh I tried and fought my way through frustrating moments and kept my determination to turn outward, focus on my journey but stop obsessing about my bad luck.  I people-watched at the library which was fantastic.  There were some great people to observe.  I delighted in other people's quirks.  Let the Friday festivities begin as I walk into my house and before I can declare "let the good times roll".  I notice the footstool out of place.  Ummmm....Cor is everything alright?  His response "Yeah".  Mine: "Why is the footstool in the foyer?" His reply: "Oh it's really hot in here." Check thermostat - hmm yeah it's 84+ degrees in the house and the air conditioner is set on 70 that is pretty hot! So our romantic/fun night of freedom included the air conditioner man at our house at 8:30 at night, after we had 4 agencies on stand-by.  So this last week we have had the plumber out and the air conditioner people while waiting for the roofers to call back about their availability.  Awesome leaking roof, mushy carpet, and no air circulation.  Fantastic! Still smiling world - try to pi** in my cheerios but I am gonna grit my teeth and grin! We got our movie in and the house officially began to cool.  Simple fix that hubby of course suggested and I shot down instantly.  So with my pizza I ate some humble pie.  But Saturday is a new day.  I was going to exercise and eat healthier. And FOCUS not obsess!  I checked in with the grandparents and planned to work out before my son's arrival but realized how I could get some serious cleaning done with function of both arms and eyes.  So I turned the work out into cleaning.  In an hour I put away two loads of laundry, started another, swept, vacuumed, and played return - items scavenger hunt (returning items from one room to another and when entering drop off room gather items and return to their original spot. For instance 15 books had found their way into our bedroom that belonged upstairs, upstairs had loose socks, garbage, baby and dog toys, and so I returned the toys and then took big garbage outside).  It felt so good to get little things checked off the to-do list and build up a sweat. I could have done exercise by following one of my new library DVDs (which I so excited to try).  But because I was not obsessing on perfect HealthFULL Journey I could keep my focus but realize that yes I have other obligations.  If this isn't to be a diet (which it is not) but a lifestyle change (which it is) then I have to incorporate my efforts and intentions into my real life.  Yes there is time to pull out the DVD as some me time but there are other times to get creative.  Everyday is a lesson on this journey because I am Finally Understanding Life by Living and that means to me to stop being an observer in this world and being an active participant.

May your HealthFULL Journey lead you to focus on what truly is important.  May your journey help strengthen your awareness, awaken your passions, and lead you to true joy. 'Til we meet again. . .