March for Babies One - by - One Hurrah!

Resting in the NICU

We marched as a family for our Early Bugs at this year's March for Babies this past Saturday.  Do you have flashbacks?  Those smells, those sounds, those pictures that in tv land make everything go swirly as you reattach to your past.  The memories flow from your heart to your brain and you've faded from the present world.  No longer do you hear the radio, the tv, or even the person sitting three feet away.  You are busy living in the past.  I bundled my memories of the NICU into a little present and rarely open the package.  Its overwhelming.  Maybe I am a tish scared, a bit angry, and yet overwhelmed with love and gratitude and feeling blessed. 

My sister-in-law made a fabulous t-shirt of my niece (born at 24 1/2 weeks and 1 lb. 6 oz) and my son (born at 29 weeks and 3 lb 11 oz.).  The t-shirt had them sitting next to each other at his baptism and then side by side a picture of each of them within the first few hours of their life which means they were in the NICU.  The sight of them side by side overloaded my heart as memories of their first days, weeks, months rushed through my thoughts.  So many emotions rocked through my body and the only release was tears. 

The NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) is like another world.  You are buzzed into this semi lit huge room after scrubbing your arms down and as the doors shut all of the "world" problems - bills, politics, relationships, duties, chores, responsibilities tend to disappear.  There is no nice fade - out they just don't matter.  What matters is that tiny tiny person teaching all of us the importance, the challenge, the blessings, and the love that exists in that precious moment.  The beeps in the outside world that would drive me CRAZY with annoyance.  But here in the special world of the NICU - offer reassurance because they are telling us the answers all about our son to our questions that he can't ever answer.  Its a world where nurses tend to have one to two patients as there are so many needs to fill because the patients are so fragile.  And the best reward is when you are allowed to hold your child.  There are so many fears (germs, oxygen levels, blood pressure, pulse, weight, feeding, R.O.P. and the list rattles on forever) but when that permission is granted and you can just bond with your child as you dreamed of upon learning the news you were going to be a parent.  Your heart bursts and your body fills with warmth and the world goes quiet.  I never take a cuddle with my son for granted. 

He's doing amazing.  And his journey was less chaotic than so many of his roommates.  Its why we still support the March of Dimes as a family.  We know that the research is teaching us about ways to prevent prematurity and other birth defects and also to guide us to protect and provide for those that are born with a challenge.  I don't know what its like to leave the NICU and know your child won't see their nursery that you lovingly planned and set up.  But I pray for these parents who do. 

Our Early Bugs!!!

We walked as a family over 10000 steps (according to my pedometer).  We raised $625.00 of our $750.00 goal (you can still donate at www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1731408 if you would like to help us reach it or even better SURPASS our goal).  We took pictures and we spent time walking side by side and being grateful for two preamature babies who are running us ragged as toddlers.  And all of us couldn't be more delighted!

May your HealthFULL Journey swirl in with those precious memories that remind you where you've been and motivates you to healthier choices of your future journey FULL of Health.

'Til we meet again. . .

Sometimes you have to just try. . .

Aren't Sundays nice?  Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.  I do love the family day aspect and I am lucky enough to work a job that I can enjoy every Sunday afternoon with my loved ones.  My hubby unfortunately does not have that luxury.  He tries to take this day off as often as possible so that we can have a family day but as he works as a department manager for a grocery store he tries to be fair and let others also enjoy the day with their families.  (He really is a good guy like that :)  But I love when we can get up as family, get ready for church and worship together.  Well here is the part when you just have to try.  I have been an overprotective (with many many reasons - some good some just first time mom jitters :)  mom of our little one.  I haven't let my little guy out of my sight too often unless relatives have been around.  I did try one time recently to drop my son off in a church nursery but I knew the caregiver and he was playing with one of his cousins.  But today we did the big moment.  We dropped off our little boy who is growing up way too fast with our church nursery.  And both him and his mommy did great!  He dove to one of the caregiver's arms for a cuddle (which lasted almost the entire hour :)  And I'll admit a little bit of jealousy - it was really nice to sit with my hubby the ENTIRE church service including the whole sermon!  It has been awhile since we have been able to do that since we have a babblin' toddler.  Our son tends to have something LOUD to say just about the same time our pastor wants to start his sermon.  So me and my little guy have tried to discreetly slip out so we can crawl and babble without competition.  So that was successful attempt number one.

Our other milestone as a family was to have our son drink out of a straw.  I tried to teach this feat quite awhile ago with little luck.  Do you know how hard it is to demonstrate to a very young child how to suck up a drink through a straw?  It is kind of like magic.  Watch mommy put her lips around her straw. That is a pretty easy step to demonstrate.  However the next step and the more important step a little challenging to teach.  Now see how mommy sucks water through the non-clear straw. No you didn't see that?  So without thinking about this lesson I just carried sippy cups in his bag.  But play the disaster music in your head - dun dun dun - as a family we were going out to eat after church and major obstacle.  I forgot to pack a sippy cup :(  Oh no!!!  We can't ask our kid to not have anything to drink since before church - eat lunch - and run errands without any beverage.  So with a nervous request to the server we asked for a kids water.  And wait for it - sure enough it comes with a straw - and the cup is pretty flimsy to attempt to drink from (and that takes a lot of rhythm and timing - not my strong suit).  So nervously I hold the sippy cup in front of my son - angle the straw towards him - and success (play celebratory music)!  What?  When did this guy pick up such a tricky skill?  I'll confess after a unsuccessful attempt the first time I figured let's chalk off this skill for a good couple of years and try again when we both speak the same language fluently :)  But no today was the day to drink from a straw because we simply tried. 

It's a long story for a simple concept - but aren't we all guilty of writing ourselves off or others because the first try wasn't a marvelous success.  Many of us have tried many diets and say to ourselves after the last defeat " It's not going to happen for me. "  Or perhaps we look for a job and go on many interviews that end with the all too common "We appreciate your interest but have decided to go another route - blah blah blah" .  Its hard not to get discouraged.  Especially it seems the harder you try or the more you want something the deeper "the failure" wounds your spirit.  I like to get things right the first time.  I like to be that star rookie who was meant to complete a certain challenge.  But you only get a few times in your life to have that moment.  And if we wait only for what we believe to be our guaranteed success stories we all tend to wait a little too long on the sidelines and miss those moments of learning that actually triple our chances of success, happiness, and opportunities that are far better than what we could even imagine.  This message "Sometimes you have to just try..."  is the foundation of why I write this blog.  I realized that several years ago for too many years I had let fear not only control my choices but paralyze me from attempting almost anything.  So slowly I began to challenge myself.  Share my weight.  Share my struggles.  Attempt activities that seemed impossible.  And to not be afraid of falling or failing.  And even if I was to be afraid (because I am me through this whole journey and I can be a bit of scaredy cat!) to not let my fear paralyze me and keep from living.  I have fallen many times on this journey.  Sometimes, I have taken myself off the path and hid in the bushes for what seems forever.  But then I remember I don't have to achieve guaranteed success in ALL of my attempts but that sometimes I do have to just try. . .

May your HealthFULL (Fully Understand Life by Living) Journey celebrate your successess especially the successes that came after many attempts, challenges, and the occasional heartbreak. 'Til we meet again . . .

Power down! Deal with it. . .

Oh if the world truly graded our efforts and not the end result both my hubby and I would have A's for the day.  But instead we grabbed our remote flipped on our newest episode of "The Chew" and stuffed our faces with Chinese food.  This wasn't the plan but then every attempt of a schedule or plan for today met with obstacle, snub, or just plain didn't happen.  We tried.  Both of us.  In our own way to make today a great day but pffffffffffffft was much of the reply.

I woke up to the sound of an unhappy baby at six a.m.  I went to check up sound asleep.  Back to bed for mommy.  Then seven-thirty one blare of a scream with no follow up.  I took it as an early alarm that would allow me a chance to get ready for the day.  These are rare moments that I can piece together two thoughts to kind of get a plan for the day.  So I was grateful and got ready. No more awake sound in the first thirty minutes.  Awesome I am on a roll.  This mama is going to get some breakfast together.  Another fifteen minutes pass and still silence.  Now frustrated because I probably could have gotten a work-out in.  And then - yup - there it is the scream of a disgruntled morning toddler.  Drop everything and immediately head to the crib.  It's like the gunshot at a race to start my crazy day.  On your marks get set - GO!  Already point down -wet bed.  Boo!  But no problem an extra load of laundry on the to - do list.  Will get in the wash later as we have a hungry boy on our hands -  grab today's outfit.  Then a quick breakfast and we begin the baby olympics to burn off energy.  Up the stairs like a rocket (he doesn't walk but give him a set of stairs and he can move!)

Oh no - stinky meter rising as we climb the steps.  Quick descent with the help of mom unto clean diaper.  Then to the fridge to play with our magnets.  Really? Stink meter is going off again - not a good sign - maybe false alarm  - oh no no no!  Definitely not a false alarm.  Unhappy baby changed again and then walking with assistance.  Going to impress our Early Interventionist who is due in three minutes...oh no sleepy baby has struck down my boy.  We are rubbing our eyes, yawning, and becoming a limp noodle unresponsive to even the tickle monster.  Our E.I. arrives and the little boy is exhausted.  Wake up baby boy you get to play with someone besides mommy with new toys - YAY!  Slowly he responds until he finds the bubbles.  He is quickly revived and enjoys "popping" bubbles in the living room.  Yay!  Next round of breakfast and sleepy boy hits.  Good timing.  I sneak him into his crib with a few protests and then golden silence. 

I slip into my work-out clothes, grab my water bottle and reaching my hand out for the stairwell.  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  Seriously?  I drop off the water bottle enter the doorway of our son's room and wha....*gag* never mind figured out what woke you up.  New diaper time.  Oh and look not ready for a nap now.  Let's go and play in the living room.  We need a quiet activity.  Sesame Street it is.  *world judge me if you must - I know children under two shouldn't watch tv and my response I don't do it everyday.  And when he does he rarely gets more than one Sesame Street episode a day.  I say rarely because today he did - and there are just worse crimes in the world than a two sesame street episode in a day*.  I got some paperwork done and some little cleaning jobs.  And the kid was exhausted.  We grabbed milk and listened to some music and tried a nap again.  Not very happy nor cooperative but we finally reached the silence stage of the house again.  I grabbed my bottle and headed upstairs.  Who knew how long this nap would take so I paid a couple of bills due on the computer and turned on my Wii Fitness. 

Error message - Wii Remote needs replacement batteries.  No problem I'll just grab a couple and pop them in.  In the zone let's get our sweat on.  Wait Error message.  Just replaced the batteries - oh no the Wii board needs battery replacements.  Grin and bear it.  I'll just go and grab some more batteries.  Okay they're replaced.  Let's weigh in - and the Wii cursor is stuck on the screen.  Why?  Oh you've got to be kidding.  The wireless remote sensor needs charging.  Hear this message world : I am working out today!  So throw me your obstacle course but I am even more determined - battery replacement, upset child, and uncharged sensor - pull it together.  Yay success - I've lost 5.3 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks.  *happy dance*  Caught last night's "Parenthood" while I stepped my way through thirty minutes.  Bye bye 200 calories - hello guilt free afternoon.  Wait is it still silent?  I am grabbing me some lunch.  Two meals in quiet - wowsers! Still quiet I am going to actually sit on the computer for fun.  Sitting down. . . .and yes there is the cry that my lunch hour bell has dinged - finished.  Back to baby duty.  Coming love. 

Lunch is ready to be served.  Oh we did not like the lunch menu that we have previously loved.  Carrots not on the baby's menu today - however you can find carrots on my floor, in his high chair and I am pretty sure on my piano.  Awesome!  Let's play some more.  Oooh checked the clock daddy will be home soon.  Should straighten the house a tish and get baby laundry in the washer. This requires a bit of movement on mommy's part in different rooms.  So let's place the baby in his crib to play with a couple of his favorite toys.  eight minutes tops!  Well look my mother in law is at the door as she is helping my hubby go pick up our car in the shop(stupid battery - wait is that this week's theme that no one told me about - power down - work around it).  I would help but out of two vehichles only one is baby friendly.  The other is a truck.... with an air bag. So no go - and no hubby at this point.  No problem.  Ahh the sound of hubby's arrival and the squeals of delight from our son.  (Everyone in the world lied to me.  When I was pregnant and shared I was having a boy.  Everyone smiled and said - oh the relationship between a mother and son is so precious.  No one mentioned that its precious but won't compare to a daddy's boy which we 100% have. Which I adore - but slightly get jealous of - especially the "rougher" days.  Mommy = tears - Daddy = giggles of delight.  Sorry for the tangent!)  So quick stop just enough to hear that hubby was late but most likely had to return to work because the store lost power as he was leaving - COME ON WORLD!!!   Our son was kind of sad to see his daddy go so soon.  So yup Sesame Street it is again.  I never do this.  But if the world is going to bring me down, turn off most of my power -then I will do what I can to finish the day with a smile on mine and my son's face.  And I wouldn't change our second episode.  I got toddler cuddles for almost an hour.  And that was a pick me up I definitely needed.  We played unto dinner.  Guess what peas were not on my son's wish list for the day either.  More of these in my son's chair than his belly.  I even gave it the yummy in my tummy with thumbs up and lots of smiles after obnoxiously cheerful big bites.  (p.s. I am not a fan of peas.  I will eat them mixed into other dishes and enjoy a good pea soup.  but eating straight up peas = unhappiness. Maybe it reminds me of a Canadian Anglican Priest shooting them at me across the dinner table but I'll stop with that tangent as well.)  He did agree to a few bites.  Some more floor play -  tickle session - he loves this falling down game on the bed - we played that.  Oh look bath time YAY! 

Bath time almost broke me.  I was setting up a couple of items and Drew was playing with the hair rinser.  (A pitcher that has a flexible top to bend around the head to keep from soap dripping in his eyes or water down his face.  )  I didn't realize he was actually pulling water out of the tub until the second attempt.  When water went sloshing all over the bath mat.  And as I reached for him he got in a third fill-up and shared that with the toilet seat cover and waterfall effect over the other side of the toilet.  Oh this awesome day gets better and better.  Now we have WATERWORLD.  And I haven't even attempted washing down the baby yet.  YAY!  So I grabbed the not wet but SOAKING (could he have really filled the pitcher all three times - as much water as I was cleaning - possibly!) bath mat and toilet seat cover and to the washer they go.  Throw down a couple of towels to mop up extra water.  Phone rings hubby can finally return home.  Power has been restored and product was back on the shelves.  I begged for chinese.  I was a weak woman who didn't have plans of cooking and I could tell my hubby didn't have plans for cooking either.  Chinese it is!  With a vigor to my step as my better half was soon on the way home with a piping hot supper. Onward to bath time.  We got through bathtime okay.  He was like a seal pup that kept sliding through my hands and his trick was to splash "the audience" meaning mommy and the rest of the bathroom with his own created typhoon while I wrangled him into sitting positions between scrubbing and rinsing.  I should have worn a swimsuit. 

But we made it to pjs and our nightly bottle.  Hallelujah!  So no not the day I planned.  Not an everyday kind of day in hopes to see results on the healthier side of things.  But a good day with a 100% survival rate.  I shared today because it was a real day trying my best.  I tend to blog when I am on the successful side of things.  I am usually on a high and want to share my good news.  Sometimes I am on a down day trying to pick myself up.  But there are those in between days - like today - where there are some great highlights (down five pounds and got a 30 minute work-out in even with some obstacles) - but some not great choices (like chinese food with sauces and fried foods).  These days are a part of the journey.  I constantly strive for improvement (well perfection if I am honest but I am working on IMPROVING my unrealistic expectations :)  but settle for doing the best I can , with what I have, where I am.  And today I was home stranded without a vehichle with a cranky energetic little boy missing my better-half  and a craving for Chinese food. 

May your HealthFULL Journey include the unscripted moments so that you can really see the new you emerging.  Because when the power goes down we all have to deal with it. "Til we meet again. . .