Sometimes you have to just try. . .

Aren't Sundays nice?  Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.  I do love the family day aspect and I am lucky enough to work a job that I can enjoy every Sunday afternoon with my loved ones.  My hubby unfortunately does not have that luxury.  He tries to take this day off as often as possible so that we can have a family day but as he works as a department manager for a grocery store he tries to be fair and let others also enjoy the day with their families.  (He really is a good guy like that :)  But I love when we can get up as family, get ready for church and worship together.  Well here is the part when you just have to try.  I have been an overprotective (with many many reasons - some good some just first time mom jitters :)  mom of our little one.  I haven't let my little guy out of my sight too often unless relatives have been around.  I did try one time recently to drop my son off in a church nursery but I knew the caregiver and he was playing with one of his cousins.  But today we did the big moment.  We dropped off our little boy who is growing up way too fast with our church nursery.  And both him and his mommy did great!  He dove to one of the caregiver's arms for a cuddle (which lasted almost the entire hour :)  And I'll admit a little bit of jealousy - it was really nice to sit with my hubby the ENTIRE church service including the whole sermon!  It has been awhile since we have been able to do that since we have a babblin' toddler.  Our son tends to have something LOUD to say just about the same time our pastor wants to start his sermon.  So me and my little guy have tried to discreetly slip out so we can crawl and babble without competition.  So that was successful attempt number one.

Our other milestone as a family was to have our son drink out of a straw.  I tried to teach this feat quite awhile ago with little luck.  Do you know how hard it is to demonstrate to a very young child how to suck up a drink through a straw?  It is kind of like magic.  Watch mommy put her lips around her straw. That is a pretty easy step to demonstrate.  However the next step and the more important step a little challenging to teach.  Now see how mommy sucks water through the non-clear straw. No you didn't see that?  So without thinking about this lesson I just carried sippy cups in his bag.  But play the disaster music in your head - dun dun dun - as a family we were going out to eat after church and major obstacle.  I forgot to pack a sippy cup :(  Oh no!!!  We can't ask our kid to not have anything to drink since before church - eat lunch - and run errands without any beverage.  So with a nervous request to the server we asked for a kids water.  And wait for it - sure enough it comes with a straw - and the cup is pretty flimsy to attempt to drink from (and that takes a lot of rhythm and timing - not my strong suit).  So nervously I hold the sippy cup in front of my son - angle the straw towards him - and success (play celebratory music)!  What?  When did this guy pick up such a tricky skill?  I'll confess after a unsuccessful attempt the first time I figured let's chalk off this skill for a good couple of years and try again when we both speak the same language fluently :)  But no today was the day to drink from a straw because we simply tried. 

It's a long story for a simple concept - but aren't we all guilty of writing ourselves off or others because the first try wasn't a marvelous success.  Many of us have tried many diets and say to ourselves after the last defeat " It's not going to happen for me. "  Or perhaps we look for a job and go on many interviews that end with the all too common "We appreciate your interest but have decided to go another route - blah blah blah" .  Its hard not to get discouraged.  Especially it seems the harder you try or the more you want something the deeper "the failure" wounds your spirit.  I like to get things right the first time.  I like to be that star rookie who was meant to complete a certain challenge.  But you only get a few times in your life to have that moment.  And if we wait only for what we believe to be our guaranteed success stories we all tend to wait a little too long on the sidelines and miss those moments of learning that actually triple our chances of success, happiness, and opportunities that are far better than what we could even imagine.  This message "Sometimes you have to just try..."  is the foundation of why I write this blog.  I realized that several years ago for too many years I had let fear not only control my choices but paralyze me from attempting almost anything.  So slowly I began to challenge myself.  Share my weight.  Share my struggles.  Attempt activities that seemed impossible.  And to not be afraid of falling or failing.  And even if I was to be afraid (because I am me through this whole journey and I can be a bit of scaredy cat!) to not let my fear paralyze me and keep from living.  I have fallen many times on this journey.  Sometimes, I have taken myself off the path and hid in the bushes for what seems forever.  But then I remember I don't have to achieve guaranteed success in ALL of my attempts but that sometimes I do have to just try. . .

May your HealthFULL (Fully Understand Life by Living) Journey celebrate your successess especially the successes that came after many attempts, challenges, and the occasional heartbreak. 'Til we meet again . . .

Keeping things Currant

I thought this would be a good time to touch base and discuss how the resolutions are going.   As we are in that dreaded two and half week zone.  Three weeks to make the resolution a habit.  But the "newness" factor wears off at two weeks and I have been hit by the don't wannas and fuhgedaboutit.  BUT I push myself to keep on track.  The best thing I ever did was to be specific.  The goals where I can do a little bit every day is getting checked off my to do list.  The once a month goals have been glanced at from time to time.  On this HealthFULL (Finally Understanding Life by Living) Journey I have learned that I do better with deadlines.  You need me to do something in a week, a day, an hour; Done and done!  You need something done at my convenience or whenever; not happening it gets lost, forgotten, or buried under more pressing matters - like pinterest.com and reality tv. 

To keep track of my 12 resolutions I bought a calendar date book that lists a week on two pages - starting with Monday and running through Sunday.  I printed up a mini version of my resolutions for the front cover and write down the corresponding number on the calendar date.  This way with a glance I see what I accomplished in a day or what got ignored during a week.  It is really motivating to see a visual reminder and even more motivating to see the visual of the baby steps of completing a task.  I have really enjoyed the number one resolution of being grateful every day and actually write my blessing down for the day.  Most days by actually remembering my day I easily write down two or three blessings that were especially touching.  Think of it as sprint journaling.  Also my two other daily goals of reading the Bible in a year has been enjoyable as I skip around wherever the Spirit leads.  My Bible shared the tip if you read three chapters(not verses as that wouldn't be enough and not books because that would be extremely daunting but chapters - which is completely doable!) daily Monday - Saturday and then on Sunday read five chapters.  This is the pace I have been following and only one day did I miss as I wasn't feeling really well but caught up the second day.  It is best to not get too far behind or these resolutions stop being goals and more like anchors!  Also I like a record of when I exercise.  It is easy to twist facts when they are only floating in your head.  I think I exercised five times last week for an average of thirty five minutes a day.  I'll count that.  But in pen it holds more weight.  Oh it was only four days blah blah blah.  You get the message.  The calendar helps me stay accountable and motivated.  Great tools when you have many goals in a variety of your life. 

Also we are keeping record of my favorite tradition/goal.  The new produce or grain of the week.  Look at the title of this post?  No I didn't have a spelling mistake.  This week's fruit was red currants.  They were an easy pick for my hubby and me as we have heard of these berries but never really have seen them.   Oh they were gorgeous in the grocery store.  The red was so bright and inviting and the berries are tiny.  They look like mega rubies.  I must confess though as I was decieved as they looked sweet as they reminded me of champagne grapes (size-wise).  I also expected the skin to be a little tough as the red was so bright with a shiny luster - I expected almost tomato skin with that bit of a bite.  Nope!  They are tart little bursts of juice.   It was as if I was eating the pomegranate arils.  Which I enjoy - but only when my taste buds are expecting that sour burst of juice.  I was expecting a tough sweet berry.   Alright what to do with these berries?  I had so of planned on serving them with our spinach salad for dinner.  However, my hubby is not the biggest fan of tart/sour flavors.  So I headed to our trusty computer and searched for a recipe.   Not a lot of varying recipes for the red currant.  Big contenders were jellies (as the berries have a natural pectin most sites mentioned) and pies.   I have never made a jelly in my life (adore buying homemade jellies from bazaars and farmers' markets but haven't invested in the canning supplies for myself.  So pie it is.  Not the healthiest choice but was  a mighty tasty one.  Really simple fruit pie which I added a little bit of blueberries and strawberries with the currants.  As these are flavors we enjoy, and we didn't have a lot of currants to fill an entire pie.  Even my 14 mo. old son tried a couple.  Which proved to me he is truly a texture taster.  Also he helped himself to the berries when we mixed the pie "together". 

It is fun to feel in control of my life or at least that I am gaining back control.  That I have a say in what I do and that I am making choices that create a better version of myself. 

May your HealthFULL Journey bring you flavors of sweetness to soothe and sourness to motivate. 'Til we meet again. . .

12 Resolutions for the 12 months of 2012

Well this has been quite a journey and it still continues.  You think you found the perfect path and then you hit a dead end, a crazy detour, or get lost and end up back in the same spot.  So you turn back to your trusty compass and gaze at your map.  Circle the paths that were working and figure out a new route.  There is no time better than the present.  Today is the first day of the new year.  And rumor has it the end of the world is nearing.  If that be true I want to leave as the best version of myself.  Of course with my Christian belief the Bible states (my paraphrase follows) that we don't know what hour our Master will return - so basically, let's get to work and do it now.  So if this journey is to be FULL of Health that means my goals should be all encompassing, a little physical, a little mental, emotional, spiritual, you get it, it should be for the whole picture so lets count em down.  12 goals for the next twelve months in this fabulous year of 2012.

12.  Lose 102 pounds.  The weight isn't my number one priority but it is a goal.  It is an unusual number.  I like even stevens usually a bold hundred a perfect ten.  But 102 pounds would bring me to 178 pounds.  I have never seen that number on a scale in my adult life.  179 is the lowest number I have seen and it was when I was nineteen - twenty years old.  So let's eliminate decade within a year.  Its a daunting number but attainable - pound by pound.  It also means I have lost nine pounds since this journey started 2 1/2 years ago.  But also in that time I did gain a total of forty one pounds (mostly pregnancy related) so in actuality I've lost fifty pounds again. So we'll keep on the downstreak!

11.  Another physical thing is to continue the new produce or grain once a week.  This helps make a game out of eating healthy and stretching the horizons of what we imagine we could eat, should eat, and would eat.  This allows 52 opportunities to consume a variety of vitamins and minerals in combinations we wouldn't otherwise know.

10.  The perfect ten has to go to cooking myself at least twice a week.  And not just cooking but learning a new recipe at least one of those two times but hopefully twice.  This enables me to take more control of my health.  It will help me not get caught in the trap of helplessness, boredom, or being overwhelmed by all the life matters we can't control. 

9.  To round out my physical improvements means I need movement.  Documented exercise.  I want to work out thirty minutes five days a week.  But even more specifically to cover at least 366 miles this year of walking.  I will count walking as part of my exercise during the week.  But it would be awesome on those days I can count it as a bonus.  That means one mile a day.  Let's pound some pavement or at least some carpet!

8.  I need to be more charitable.  It is time to research some charities.  And to be more consistent in giving and less about the taking, demanding, and whining.  My goal is to donate to at least one charity every month: whether it be time, money, or donated goods.  There are a lot of people who are doing amazing things to help those who need the extra hand.   My soul thirsts to be more like a servant as I have ignored the calling several times.

7.  Speaking of the Call.  It is time to reconnect in a stronger fashion with God.  I plan to read the Bible in one year's time and to take true meditative time with God on a daily basis (not just in times of distress which is too common for me).  God is blessed me with too much that I have taken for granted too often. 

6.  Another calling  - what next?  I finished my B.A. this year which feels pretty darn good to mark that of the to - do list.  It waited for nine years but it is crossed off.  But now I have to figure out what's next?  A new vocation?  Start a business?  Attain a masters?  Lots of ideas but no true road map.  Time to get research done and by 2013 working towards the next great challenge.

5.  Let's get creative.  This may be my favorite goal.  I love to be creative and playful.  Each month I am going to learn either a new skill or build upon a creative process.  This might mean taking a class to learn how to do pottery.  This may mean picking up  a how to learn a new language.  This might mean trying out for a play.  Perhaps I establish a routine to write fiction/poetry.  But it is time to get the juices flowing and the heart pumping.  It will feel good to awaken that part of me once again.

4.  Time to ...I even feel anxious typing this. Time to Socialize more.   I tend to lead a hermit lifestyle.  In the past I used to have people demanding jobs that I was pretty good at.  But I tend to get easily connected emotionally to people and it would zap a lot of my energy.  Other people's dramas, creating my own drama, and then stressing that I wasn't helping enough or that I wasn't capable to do more and I had a rough year that I shut down.  I lost 10 people close to me in one year.  All different levels of intimacy and relations, some were sudden some were expected.  And these deaths were sandwiched between my mother in law being diagnosed with cancer (a survivor of 8+ years Amen!) and my own mother's diagnosis of cancer (a survivor of 7+ years - another Amen!) and in that time I quit college (nothing to due with what has already been mentioned I just didn't know where I was going or what I wanted at 22), got married (to the most amazing man in the world and still my best friend), moved, and started my first salaried position where forty-four people's lives were under my care. That was all in one year and also in that one year I gained seventy pounds.   Sooooo yeah I kind of needed a break from people, responsibility, and instead of taking a break I kind of just shut down.  So its time to wake up and get out.  So I plan to have at least one extra outing a month not just family or work related.  For some that sounds super easy but this may be one of the hardest areas for me to stretch.  (and in honesty if I try a class or group activity - I'm counting it!)

3.  Budget - I don't like to budget: not money, not calories, not time.  I like to be spontaneous, at least I say that.  But really it is another way to say I don't like to be controlled or pressured or to stick to rules.  It crushes my freedom, it suffocates the spirit of fun.  But not really I just allow myself to feel that.  We all can use a cushion for "those days" and if you have read my blog I tend to have a lot of out of those blue kinds of experiences.  So my hubby and I are going to sit down and comb through expenses and start true rainy day funds and not just talk about it.  Blech! My stomach is already churning.

2. Time to organize the chaos.  Some people are naturally gifted in completing tasks in a timely manner, keeping things together, and just letting objects gleam in cleanliness.  I am not one of those people.  I try hard to have routines that keep me and my family being swallowed up by household clutter and try to designate areas for those have to grab items.  But it is a challenge. I am going to do a thorough cleaning (this is not the weekly or daily cleaning necessary to keep the household moving - laundry, dishes, vacuuming, ect.) in every area of our house once a month and each week take an hour to truly organize (actually create an address book, gather recipes that we enjoy in one spot, designate locations for important papers - declutter the filing cabinet).   

1.  The big number one is to truly be grateful within each and every day.   To count a blessing every day. Hopefully this will take down the stress but more importantly remind me that it truly is a wonderful life and that all of us are granted a gift of life on a daily basis.

May your 2012 be a chance to let go of what brings you down and to welcome all that builds you up. 'Til we meet again. . .