And God Laughs. . .

You remember the last good joke you heard?  Do you notice the difference of your reaction from the first time you heard the joke from the second?  I am talking a doozy of a joke that you can't wait to repeat and even when telling it you chuckle because you know the punchline.  Well God decided to share a joke with me - we'll call it Friday the 14th :)  Oh  how God chuckled throughout the day knowing the punchline.  I however nervously tittered throughout the day with a few tears springing to my eyes as I "waited" with anticipation for the punchline.  Let's see if you appreciate the punchline. . .

Now I have been recently diagnosed with diabetes and I am treating the diagnosis as not a horror show tragedy but a wake up call.  So like a good girl I have been to the doctor and following up as requested.  I had labs scheduled for a quick draw of blood after fasting to see where my body stands now: Cholesterol, Iron Levels, and so on.  No problem I pass the hospital on my way to work.  I'm in, I'm out, and bada bing on the way to work.  Oh but see I did not realize that I had a day of fun planned.  As part of my follow up my doctor requested that I drop off my blood sugar numbers from the previous week and half to see how I am doing.  I drop off the numbers and found out that I was early to my lab appointment as I was suppose to be there where I dropped off the numbers.  I thought I was suppose to go across the street.  Bonus for me - Today is my lucky day (God must have just roared at that thought!)  The receptionist tells me to take a seat and I will be called shortly.  Tick tock goes the clock over and over - the minutes slowly tick away.  Well here comes ten o'clock the time I am suppose to BE AT WORK.  Thirty minutes have passed and still no one has called my name.  And just as I am about to stand up to see what is going on a technician walks out and calls my name and another person's.  I think. . . It was quietly spoken, and the technician did not come into the waiting room, just the hallway and I have a semi popular last name. I go to the spot that I think I heard my name.  Nobody there and the doors have shut to the lab.  I look around questioningly - like a lost puppy and a woman who looks like she means business comes out of a different doorway looks me up and down - I must have passed the test of someone who looks like they are ready to have blood drawn - And barks out "Sullivan?"  Yes ma'am reporting for duty ma'am.  Let's do this and then an older lady catches up to us and follows us.  And then we both go into the lab room passing the lab waiting room.  I think "Oh, maybe I was supposed to wait there. Maybe that's what the receptionist meant when she said "have a seat".  She probably meant " go around these cubicles, take a right , walk down the hallway, go through the double locked doors and take a left and have a seat in the lab waiting area."  I just miss such obvious directions.  I have never had a double date when I have had blood drawn.  Not a huge fan I must say.  I am a bit nervous to have my own blood drawn (this may be because it usually takes several attempts, a couple of insults due to small, wiry, twisty veins, and a few bruises).  The other lady gets to go first so I get to be extra nervous. I'm from the North where we tend to be conservative and pride ourselves on letting everyone have their privacy unlike the tendency in the South to be open and personable, and share personal details.  I am trying to look at the floor, the ceiling, look "friendly" but not nosy.  She gets to leave quickly.  And then my turn.  But wait to keep things moving they call back another person.  No problem.  Oh but it is an elderly lady with a daughter as her escort.  A feisty daughter who starts to get into a passive agressive verbal battle with the technician.  Awesome.  Please upset the lady who is about to draw my blood.  Thank you. Wait, what is the technician grabbing.  A cup?  Oh no no no! I was not told about this part.  I am suppose to just have blood drawn.  Nope a urine sample too.  Yippee!  This Friday morning is getting better and better and I am already ten minutes late to work plus the drive. I hurry out of the clinic after my morning of fun.  Get to my truck and turn the key.  Roar of engine oh wait.  No that is the sound of nothing.  Turn the key again.  Yeah that is not the sound of a running engine.  Okay I will call hubby.  Cell phones are great.  No answer. I'll try again. Nope still no answer.  Keep it together Suzy!  Alright I will walk home as I don't live too far.  I drive by the hospital everyday and count it three blocks away.  In reality it is closer to a mile and half.  A little morning jaunt, with my purse, my lunch, my sweatshirt, and my bright blue bandage over where blood was drawn.  I was grateful to my shoe choice as they were canvas tennis shoes and not dress shoes.  Look at me still smiling.  And I even laughed with God.  How fun I am getting my work-out this morning.  Did I mention it was a fasting blood draw?  So I am starving and walking home,  I reach my hubby on the phone half way home - he is getting ready for work and it will be faster for me to walk home then him to finish getting ready and grab our son and drive to pick me up.  I agree (in a mumbly sort of way - the novelty of being assertive and seizing the opportunity is dwindling away with each passing step.).  I reach home and greet my favorite guys.  Who my son laughed in delight, my husband laughed, (God must have already shared the punchline with them) and I did that half smile/half cry.  We hop in the car and check on the truck.  My hubby is able to jump start the truck.  Yay hubby.  And we test out his handi-work.  We turn off the truck and try to restart it.  No go!  Okay we jump the truck again, victory!  But both of us work about fifteen miles away from home - interstate wise- not really safe to drive a vehichle that requires a jump start to get moving.  We get the truck home.  We then drop our son off for daycare and then drive my hubby to work and then I turn around to go to work. 

God was enjoying how he was building the punchline that he added a couple hours of extra fun.  As I was checking back in with work running close to three hours late - FANTASTIC! I find out I have three days worth of work sitting on my desk.  At this point - this simply can't be true.  I knew my boss was joking.  Except she wasn't laughing.  I got off the phone and was done.  I no longer carried the smile on my face, or the nodding of the head like good one.  No in my heart I felt like how a ticklefest goes one second to long, the teasing one time too many, or the prank that has too much clean-up.  Moments that were meant for levity that go so wrong in the blink of an eye because reality became too much.  That workload was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Because   I had been looking forward to three hours of uninterrupted time at home by myself before this day started.  Three hours of no cleaning, no listening for the baby, or helping my husband.  But just some quiet me time.  And when I heard that work announcement - poof the dream floated away. 

I arrived at work - late, knowing what awaited for me.  Yet, I was in a bit of denial.  I was hoping there had been a misunderstanding, a little stretch of the truth, or even that the work fairy had waved their magic wand.  But no, there was that much work to do (Secretly I still hoped to sneak out for a little hour or two of peace and quiet at home).  Here we go.    My office was phenomenal coming to my rescue but the hours flew by and my dreams faded away.  I worked up to the minute that I had to leave to pick up my son and then drive fifteen miles out of the way to pick up hubby.  And finally, home.  Sweet sweet home. 

What's the punchline?   Well the night before my hubby and I prayed the same prayer.  Our little one was under the weather, tugging his ears and running a fever.  We know he is teething but weren't sure if he was doing these things in response to that.  Or not feeling well.  As mommy do I keep him home and stay with him?  Or send him to his grandma's.  So the prayer we both said was "God please keep our son healthy.  And make it "PERFECTLY CLEAR" what Suzy should do with her day".  Get it?  God never gave me a moment of doubt about where I was supposed to be.  Our son slept soundly throughout the night and woke up with no fever so I didn't have to worry about if I should keep him home or not.  From the minute I woke up until the minute I got home I was on autopilot.  I had choices in my day but not really.  I could have waited at the hospital and not walked home.  But I possibly could have missed my hubby as his cell doesn't receive all calls.  We could have driven the truck but wouldn't know what would happen.  My choices left little doubt what to do and where to be.  I told you God laughed.  But then he knew the punchline.  Now I can tell the story with a smile because I too know the punchline and its a doozy.

May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with punchlines and laughter.  'Til we meet again. . .

It has been awhile. . .

I know it has been awhile and it seems that I have deserted the journey but I actually am even more committed than ever. I tried doing a lot of this on my own (well with family and friends support) but without visiting the doctors. I am not a huge fan. I am not saying all doctors aren't professional or wise but let's just say I have had my share of quacks. Just to highlight some extreme (but now kind of funny) incidents to prove why I might have some misgivings. There was a time I visited a doctor and he came into the room sat down in a chair. Took off his shoes and started rubbing his own feet. You know what I am a working gal I get that your feet get tired. But then he started rattling off how rough a day he was having. As the patient don't I get to list my ailments first? I am just saying. . . There also have been numerous times I have been left in compromising positions as the doctor leaves to go grab one last thing. Hello! We are currently busy sir/ma'am , can your errand wait? I also visited a doctor for repeated headaches and he stuck a needle in my knee repeatedly. Now I am assuming this was an acupressure technique, but at no point did he warn me that he was going to stab me in the knee with a needle. And when I say needle I mean like a straight pin you use to hem your pants ( I say you because I am not gifted in the domestic skills like sewing :) I have had several cat scans for repeated headaches I used to experience all the time. There was one time the "nurse" (I am sorry I am unaware of what their official title was at that time) but she was injecting the iodine into my arm. Now I am blindly trusting this lady and not watching the injection. I am not the biggest fan of needles (I'll be honest I am kind of like a three year old freaking out). So I just look away, its best for everyone. But I take a quick gander when the lady explains "Oh, that's not good at all!" Kind of in a panic voice. Do you know why she is saying this? Because of injecting the iodine into my arm. She somehow has the needle stuck in my arm but there is iodine spilling all over over my arm. How can this happen you ask? Well she giggles (because this is so funny! As I am freaking out over the needle and about to have a cat scan) I forgot to correctly tighten the needle or cap it correctly. Hardy Har Har! What else, there was the chiropractor/massage therapist who said I was not properly aligned. Which is a usual statement from a chiropractor. But they didn't mean my spine. She explained that my upper half of my body was not residing within my body and it was like my upper half of my body was sitting about two feet away. Okay, enough said about that appointment. . . There was the time I visited an ER in Alaska because I had not been feeling well. I kept waking up with horrible ear pain that covered all of the inside of the ear and around the ear. As I explained to the doctor it is ALMOST like it switches ears as if it was traveling down a tube from one to the other. I was explaining what it felt like. Not what was happening. The doctor did the quick checks (nose, mouth, ears). Told me my symptom was impossible (which I had been having for over a month, almost daily). And after our oh so friendly three minute visit( not exaggerating!) I was charged ninety dollars before leaving the hospital. Well that was fun. . . Side note I visited another doctor in Alaska a little less than two months later and they thought I had the flu. I got back to ND. Turned out I probably had mono both those visits and it was never caught. (The second doctor one of my symptoms was that I was sleeping up to sixteen hours a day and still exhausted. . . hmmmm) But probably my favorite was the emergency room visit in Rochester. Now I appreciate a thorough history and that they want to keep me safe. But they asked three times, three times if the man who brought me in was abusing me. The man was my father. I was 24 years old at the time, married, and not living at home. We were in Rochester to support my mother who was having surgery at the time. Now I would also like to point out my symptoms were nothing related to bruising, bleeding, or injury of any kind, but that I was having a ridiculous fever where my eyelids were on fire. So let's deal with the fever and then worry if I am being abused (Not that I think domestic abuse is humorous in any sense and that for those they can help in the ER God bless them - but let's look at the facts people). After round three of my history we get to the good stuff, why I am here in the ER. I explain that I feel really hot, like eyes burning hot. Again the nurse chuckles because I am obviously Hi-lar-ious when I don't feel good. She takes my temp with her little smirk of expression "Well let's see how high your temperature is, shall we? " (I also must seem to have a quirk that makes doctors/nurses think I am lying about my symptoms). Well my temperature wiped that smirk off her face. She quickly fumbles with her paperwork and says I will see a doctor shortly. The temp was in Celsius degrees so I don't know exactly how high my temp was but I saw a shorthand sheet posted that translated Celsius - Fahrenheit degrees and my temperature wasn't even listed! The list went as high as 103.2 degrees Fahrenheit. So when I say my eyelids were on fire. I am not kidding! But then the fun really started. Because this was at my heaviest. Now I realize weight can affect a lot of things with illness, injuries, and diseases. But for all overweight people, our size doesn't have to do with EVERYTHING! Sometimes I feel that the weight is just an easy go-to for doctors and they overlook certain things. So the hospital staff gives me tylenol to drop the fever which it did and I finally broke the high temp. By the time the doctor comes in my clothes are soaked. Like wring me out soaked. The doctor does the check-up, discovers my viral infection in the lungs. We are doing great and then he was explaining how long to expect it to last and when it will clear up. Here is our conversation: Me (Suzy) : How long do I have to take the medicine? Dr. : As long as the infection lasts. Me: How long does that usually take? Dr. : Well, you're a ( and here it is the physical gesture that seals the deal - think of when people describe football players - hunch both shoulders raising them to their ears, lifting and dropping their shoulders three times, raise the fists as if fist bumping themselves, and pucker their lips with furrow brows) Big Girl! End of conversation! Ummm, Big Girl? That's not a timeline. Thank you, but that answered my question not at all. But it is always fun to feel awful and then have the doctor insult me verbally and physically with gestures. And also part of my earlier rant. My weight doesn't seem to have any determination on how medication or alcohol affect me as I am kind of lightweight with both. Because of my size people assume that I have a high tolerance. I do not for the record. Well I have ranted long enough... Now you see from my perspective why I might have delayed getting the doctors involved. In one of my next posts I will share where and who this journey has been leading me to see. I hope that in all of life's situations you see the humor. Maybe not in the moment (Although that is always more fun) but at least when you look back, even those stressful moments may they bring a chuckle, a chortle, or a smirk. 'Til we meet again. . .