It is my child's joy that keeps me on this journey. I may slip. I might fall. I sometimes faceplant. But I cry it out, laugh it off, and pull myself together to do it all over again. However, I am trying to figure out my son's endless joy. I TRY to keep things interesting and he just loves it all. I work towards a goal and if I meet it before even celebrating I am thinking what should be my next goal. Not my fifteen month old. He truly captures the moment and lives in that second. He cries when he is upset, he laughs when he is happy, and actively observes in between. For example, last Sunday I decided it was a good fort day especially after our little church meltdown - my meltdown though my son contributed. All I am gonna say is we were fifteen minutes late, handed in our offering, was ready for the sermon, and then my son started babbling and getting antsy - we stepped out for what I thought would be a minute to compose ourselves or the whole sermon as my son planned and one of us might have lost our pants (that one was my son - although I was the one probably mortified). But again perfect example - I was looking forward to worship - the singing - the sermon. And my son was excited to see so many people, and have room to crawl in the narthex which is crazily empty during worship :) Although I do tend to enjoy my pastor's sermons I probably will remember spending time in the quiet narthex with my son more in the years to come then the exact words that were preached. Do you get caught up in the shoulds, the coulds, the woulds, the goals, and the events? Or are you like my son and you just live and breathe in the moment?
Anyway, you might understand why I thought it was fair to have an easy afternoon? Who doesn't love a good fort? My skills are rusty but vast improvement from the one I attempted a month ago. I am trying "to plan" and design a sturdy fort - with the ease of being casual and just good fun. (but then the competitive side leaps forward and screams in my head this is going to be the best most perfect fort ever designed.) And my son? Sees a new obstacle and lunges for the half up sheet which is not sturdy by any means and certainly isn't ready to brace a quickly moving 21 1/2 pounder. I kept telling him "Just wait, when the fort is finished we'll have so much fun". And he responded with giggles as he threw himself repeatedly into the sheet or covered his face with excess sheet for some peek-a-boo. I half laughed, sweated, and muttered about how this fort was going to be a success if it kills me. I am rearranging furniture and huffing and puffing. And my son is rolling on the floor laughing and pounding on the "new furniture" as it takes new location and climbing under and over EVERYTHING!
Once the fort was up my son stood proudly under the draped sheet and tried to touch the "ceiling"; as time passed this challenge became easier and easier. He scooted and laughed until his heart's content. I turned on Mr Popper's penguin and decided Mission accomplished! There was so much fun to be had and I missed some of it because I was so caught up in the destination. Not my son - he didn't miss a second! I kind of believe he added seconds with his endless delight :) It was the journey with twists and turns of what is going to happen next? When the sheet wouldn't stretch far enough and started to flutter to the ground. I thought Argggh! "stupid clothespin!" And my son saw "new game", or "How cool! it covers me and I'm hiding. I'll have to dig myself free!" I had a minor heart attack as one of the chairs fell; while my son saw a new climbing challenge. He feels the moment and I run right through them to get to the next moment.
I have a lot to learn from my mini muse. I look forward to smaller sizes and pounds lost. But that is only results. The journey is everything else. I like to check off excercise from my to do list. But I need to be grateful for that time of feeling healthy, embracing time with my son, and growing stronger in all aspects of my life. I mentioned my son because he is my cheerleader, my inspiration, and my number one fan. He applauds my crazy dancing. He eagerly crawls into my arms when I am marching around the living room. He tries to steal my pedometer :) But most importantly every day he lets me know I matter. And because of him I need to continue to get better and improve by moving forward.
May your HealthFULL journey highlight those people who matter: those who inspire, encourage, applaud, and share in your journey. 'Til we meet again. . .
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