It has been a good week this week. Even my Wii congratulated me on my healthy success. I worked out seven days in a row and the machine admired my dedication. I'll take the pats on the back from anywhere I can :) Other good news is that my blood sugar continues to decline slowly and my blood tests came back from the doctor with some thumbs up. Cholesterol is awesome (so awesome the nurse questioned if I take cholesterol medication ) Ha HA no! But I was ready for something to come back good. I also checked my blood pressure and that is well within a healthy range. Its nice to get some positive feedback and see true results. Because on those tough days it is easy to tempt ourselves and lose sight of the goal. But when results keep appearing it strengthens your resolve and keeps temptation at bay.
However, temptation still creeps at the edges and sneak surprises us. I had pizza. After three weeks of no pizza, no pasta, and a serious decline in bread consumption I gave up the fight. We had planned squash soup for Wednesday night. (Remember that excess turban squash?) We had purchased a beautiful butternut squash. Color was a beautiful tan with an almost flawless peel. And butternut squash is by far our household favorite squash - versatile, great flavor with a hint of sweetness, and long shelf life. Once again I was home with our little one for the day and had plans to peel and cube the newly purchased squash for soup. The day quickly flew by and by dinner time I was drained. I had no desire to hack through a squash after my recent bout with the turban squash. I turned to my hubby and hinted and than downright suggested pizza for dinner. He hesitantly agreed; excited at the prospect but wanted to be supportive of our new lifestyle. Easily 3 weeks is the longest we have ever gone without pasta or pizza for a meal. We switched up our regular order as two pizzas are pretty normal so that we can have at least a breakfast and lunch covered too. Plus a side of breadsticks (I love to dip!). But no longer are carbs our friends or at least mine. New order some wings with one pizza with extra thin crispy crust. I limited myself to three pieces which is not slices but smaller squares. And my blood sugar remained right on track. Obviously not an every night a choice but a treat that didn't bust the bank. And out of my guilt I prepped the butternut squash that night (and some onions) so there would be NO excuse to make the soup Thursday. I think I was scared of the squash due to the Turban incident but the butternut was so easy and quickly prepped within fifteen minutes. We did eat a delicious soup Thursday (still have leftovers - but soup leftover is yummier than the original meal as the flavors deepen and blend).
Speaking of prepping veggies which helps keep me on track to eating healthier. The veggie (or I should say fruit) of the week was the graffiti eggplant. How fun! Eggplant is delicious produce that I enjoyed stewed, roasted, grilled, fried, and baked. The graffiti eggplant has an interesting outer layer. The peel is either ivory with purple stripes or purple with ivory stripes. The texture was super smooth; almost plastic - like. Otherwise the graffiti eggplant is very similiar to the classic eggplant. So to test out our new produce we oven roasted the eggplant with onions, mushrooms, and peppers drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. YUM! We treated it like a salad and let it cool in the fridge as a side to our turkey meatloaf. The roasted produce had a tangy but sweet flavor with great textures of soft and chewy (eggplant and mushrooms) with a little bite (peppers and onions).
The moral of the story - a little prep work in the kitchen eases the cooking decision. I know it sounds like work and it takes a little bit of effort. But if you can spare that ten - fifteen minutes the night before after your belly is satisfied. It will save time (why debate the choice if the food is already prepped) and you can do the fun stuff right away (stirring and mixing and cooking) and money is easier to hang unto when you aren't paying someone else to feed you.
May your HealthFULL Journey include treats, wisdom, and effort. 'Til we meet again. . .
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Diet vs. Lifestyle
I vowed when I started this blog that this was a HealthFULL Journey not a quick fad diet nor an easy fix. This was meant to be a lifestyle change so that I could fully understand life by living and not a life hidden away waiting for that perfect dress size or pretty picture. It was to be experienced and not a pause button. How can one tell the difference between a diet and a habit? A fad vs a lifestyle? Its not easy. Because a dedicated dieter can easily replicate a lifestyle but like every copy there are slight flaws, slight details that stand out glaringly when examined. I have fallen into the trap of fads and diets on this journey but I keep looking for those habits that can truly lead to a lifestyle change.
Something today clicked for me. We as a family were shopping at one of those warehouse stores that sell in bulk. For the item to truly be a bargain you have to commit to incorporating the item into your daily needs. Otherwise it is waste. Well as I am learning food choices that best meet my needs there are a couple of staples that make for easy choices in my day to day meal planning. Some of these include guacamole (all natural ingredients), mixed nuts, and some produce favorites (such as mushrooms and asparagus). As we are picking up these new household staples there are numerous landmines of samples. A dieter might claim these samples don't really count for calories during the day for many humorous reasons - not full serving sizes, negative calories once you count the walking around the warehouse between samples, that it is free food, counts as the snack missed this morning, and so on. However, these samples are "REAL" calories with "REAL" carbs and "REAL" fat. Samples are given as a sales ploy. If I was dieting I would probably either mindlessly snack on these treats or avoid them all together and pat myself on the back. Then leave the store and purchase a treat as a reward for my true dedication. I ate one sample and not even the whole thing. Out of at least eight samples I tried one. I saw the other seven but made conscious choices that only one deserved my attention. The one sample I tried was for salmon on a cracker. I would most likely not buy the crackers but might possibly incorporate the salmon in future meals (the salmon was really salty and that was without the cracker!). But the other seven were either really fatty, high in carbs (there was a granola sample - talk about pure carbs!) or both. They are not products I plan to purchase so why even tempt myself if they're good and if they're not; why waste the calories?
I have repeated this line several times to remind myself I am not limiting myself or starving myself but I am choosing for my health and a better life. "I can eat anything but I choose not to eat everything." I could eat a whole cake if I wanted, but I choose not to because of my health. A dieter feels limited with rules and punishments. A lifestyle is full of choices and opportunities. When I choose to avoid certain foods, I am creating a better life for myself. When I pick out fruits and veggies I am allowing my body to get stronger and healthier because of the vitamins and minerals present.
Those samples could have been my pitfalls. Oh and temptation will always be a part of life. But with informed choices and diligent observation I can step aside. We see the obstacles in our daily lives. We see cracks in the sidewalk, we noticed left out toys, and we tell ourselves don't forget to avoid the pitfalls. And even after we saw the obstacle and tell ourselves to change our path we charge directly into the holes on our path. We get frustrated but hope we remember next time. Sometimes, that next time we do remember and do sidestep those holes. Not every time do we remember, but when we do it makes us not only stronger but wiser. For every stumble there is an opportunity to grow, to choose, and then to move accordingly. Maybe your stumbling block is starving yourself. You need to eat - that can be your step forward. Maybe your stumbling block is not knowing your nutritious choices - sit down and do some research. Perhaps you feel alone, call a friend. For every problem there is a solution. There is a way to avoid your pitfall, if you are ready to not diet but to change your lifestyle.
May your HealthFULL Journey contain few pitfalls. 'Til we meet again. . .
Something today clicked for me. We as a family were shopping at one of those warehouse stores that sell in bulk. For the item to truly be a bargain you have to commit to incorporating the item into your daily needs. Otherwise it is waste. Well as I am learning food choices that best meet my needs there are a couple of staples that make for easy choices in my day to day meal planning. Some of these include guacamole (all natural ingredients), mixed nuts, and some produce favorites (such as mushrooms and asparagus). As we are picking up these new household staples there are numerous landmines of samples. A dieter might claim these samples don't really count for calories during the day for many humorous reasons - not full serving sizes, negative calories once you count the walking around the warehouse between samples, that it is free food, counts as the snack missed this morning, and so on. However, these samples are "REAL" calories with "REAL" carbs and "REAL" fat. Samples are given as a sales ploy. If I was dieting I would probably either mindlessly snack on these treats or avoid them all together and pat myself on the back. Then leave the store and purchase a treat as a reward for my true dedication. I ate one sample and not even the whole thing. Out of at least eight samples I tried one. I saw the other seven but made conscious choices that only one deserved my attention. The one sample I tried was for salmon on a cracker. I would most likely not buy the crackers but might possibly incorporate the salmon in future meals (the salmon was really salty and that was without the cracker!). But the other seven were either really fatty, high in carbs (there was a granola sample - talk about pure carbs!) or both. They are not products I plan to purchase so why even tempt myself if they're good and if they're not; why waste the calories?
I have repeated this line several times to remind myself I am not limiting myself or starving myself but I am choosing for my health and a better life. "I can eat anything but I choose not to eat everything." I could eat a whole cake if I wanted, but I choose not to because of my health. A dieter feels limited with rules and punishments. A lifestyle is full of choices and opportunities. When I choose to avoid certain foods, I am creating a better life for myself. When I pick out fruits and veggies I am allowing my body to get stronger and healthier because of the vitamins and minerals present.
Those samples could have been my pitfalls. Oh and temptation will always be a part of life. But with informed choices and diligent observation I can step aside. We see the obstacles in our daily lives. We see cracks in the sidewalk, we noticed left out toys, and we tell ourselves don't forget to avoid the pitfalls. And even after we saw the obstacle and tell ourselves to change our path we charge directly into the holes on our path. We get frustrated but hope we remember next time. Sometimes, that next time we do remember and do sidestep those holes. Not every time do we remember, but when we do it makes us not only stronger but wiser. For every stumble there is an opportunity to grow, to choose, and then to move accordingly. Maybe your stumbling block is starving yourself. You need to eat - that can be your step forward. Maybe your stumbling block is not knowing your nutritious choices - sit down and do some research. Perhaps you feel alone, call a friend. For every problem there is a solution. There is a way to avoid your pitfall, if you are ready to not diet but to change your lifestyle.
May your HealthFULL Journey contain few pitfalls. 'Til we meet again. . .
Saturday, October 15, 2011
And God Laughs. . .
You remember the last good joke you heard? Do you notice the difference of your reaction from the first time you heard the joke from the second? I am talking a doozy of a joke that you can't wait to repeat and even when telling it you chuckle because you know the punchline. Well God decided to share a joke with me - we'll call it Friday the 14th :) Oh how God chuckled throughout the day knowing the punchline. I however nervously tittered throughout the day with a few tears springing to my eyes as I "waited" with anticipation for the punchline. Let's see if you appreciate the punchline. . .
Now I have been recently diagnosed with diabetes and I am treating the diagnosis as not a horror show tragedy but a wake up call. So like a good girl I have been to the doctor and following up as requested. I had labs scheduled for a quick draw of blood after fasting to see where my body stands now: Cholesterol, Iron Levels, and so on. No problem I pass the hospital on my way to work. I'm in, I'm out, and bada bing on the way to work. Oh but see I did not realize that I had a day of fun planned. As part of my follow up my doctor requested that I drop off my blood sugar numbers from the previous week and half to see how I am doing. I drop off the numbers and found out that I was early to my lab appointment as I was suppose to be there where I dropped off the numbers. I thought I was suppose to go across the street. Bonus for me - Today is my lucky day (God must have just roared at that thought!) The receptionist tells me to take a seat and I will be called shortly. Tick tock goes the clock over and over - the minutes slowly tick away. Well here comes ten o'clock the time I am suppose to BE AT WORK. Thirty minutes have passed and still no one has called my name. And just as I am about to stand up to see what is going on a technician walks out and calls my name and another person's. I think. . . It was quietly spoken, and the technician did not come into the waiting room, just the hallway and I have a semi popular last name. I go to the spot that I think I heard my name. Nobody there and the doors have shut to the lab. I look around questioningly - like a lost puppy and a woman who looks like she means business comes out of a different doorway looks me up and down - I must have passed the test of someone who looks like they are ready to have blood drawn - And barks out "Sullivan?" Yes ma'am reporting for duty ma'am. Let's do this and then an older lady catches up to us and follows us. And then we both go into the lab room passing the lab waiting room. I think "Oh, maybe I was supposed to wait there. Maybe that's what the receptionist meant when she said "have a seat". She probably meant " go around these cubicles, take a right , walk down the hallway, go through the double locked doors and take a left and have a seat in the lab waiting area." I just miss such obvious directions. I have never had a double date when I have had blood drawn. Not a huge fan I must say. I am a bit nervous to have my own blood drawn (this may be because it usually takes several attempts, a couple of insults due to small, wiry, twisty veins, and a few bruises). The other lady gets to go first so I get to be extra nervous. I'm from the North where we tend to be conservative and pride ourselves on letting everyone have their privacy unlike the tendency in the South to be open and personable, and share personal details. I am trying to look at the floor, the ceiling, look "friendly" but not nosy. She gets to leave quickly. And then my turn. But wait to keep things moving they call back another person. No problem. Oh but it is an elderly lady with a daughter as her escort. A feisty daughter who starts to get into a passive agressive verbal battle with the technician. Awesome. Please upset the lady who is about to draw my blood. Thank you. Wait, what is the technician grabbing. A cup? Oh no no no! I was not told about this part. I am suppose to just have blood drawn. Nope a urine sample too. Yippee! This Friday morning is getting better and better and I am already ten minutes late to work plus the drive. I hurry out of the clinic after my morning of fun. Get to my truck and turn the key. Roar of engine oh wait. No that is the sound of nothing. Turn the key again. Yeah that is not the sound of a running engine. Okay I will call hubby. Cell phones are great. No answer. I'll try again. Nope still no answer. Keep it together Suzy! Alright I will walk home as I don't live too far. I drive by the hospital everyday and count it three blocks away. In reality it is closer to a mile and half. A little morning jaunt, with my purse, my lunch, my sweatshirt, and my bright blue bandage over where blood was drawn. I was grateful to my shoe choice as they were canvas tennis shoes and not dress shoes. Look at me still smiling. And I even laughed with God. How fun I am getting my work-out this morning. Did I mention it was a fasting blood draw? So I am starving and walking home, I reach my hubby on the phone half way home - he is getting ready for work and it will be faster for me to walk home then him to finish getting ready and grab our son and drive to pick me up. I agree (in a mumbly sort of way - the novelty of being assertive and seizing the opportunity is dwindling away with each passing step.). I reach home and greet my favorite guys. Who my son laughed in delight, my husband laughed, (God must have already shared the punchline with them) and I did that half smile/half cry. We hop in the car and check on the truck. My hubby is able to jump start the truck. Yay hubby. And we test out his handi-work. We turn off the truck and try to restart it. No go! Okay we jump the truck again, victory! But both of us work about fifteen miles away from home - interstate wise- not really safe to drive a vehichle that requires a jump start to get moving. We get the truck home. We then drop our son off for daycare and then drive my hubby to work and then I turn around to go to work.
God was enjoying how he was building the punchline that he added a couple hours of extra fun. As I was checking back in with work running close to three hours late - FANTASTIC! I find out I have three days worth of work sitting on my desk. At this point - this simply can't be true. I knew my boss was joking. Except she wasn't laughing. I got off the phone and was done. I no longer carried the smile on my face, or the nodding of the head like good one. No in my heart I felt like how a ticklefest goes one second to long, the teasing one time too many, or the prank that has too much clean-up. Moments that were meant for levity that go so wrong in the blink of an eye because reality became too much. That workload was the straw that broke the camel's back. Because I had been looking forward to three hours of uninterrupted time at home by myself before this day started. Three hours of no cleaning, no listening for the baby, or helping my husband. But just some quiet me time. And when I heard that work announcement - poof the dream floated away.
I arrived at work - late, knowing what awaited for me. Yet, I was in a bit of denial. I was hoping there had been a misunderstanding, a little stretch of the truth, or even that the work fairy had waved their magic wand. But no, there was that much work to do (Secretly I still hoped to sneak out for a little hour or two of peace and quiet at home). Here we go. My office was phenomenal coming to my rescue but the hours flew by and my dreams faded away. I worked up to the minute that I had to leave to pick up my son and then drive fifteen miles out of the way to pick up hubby. And finally, home. Sweet sweet home.
What's the punchline? Well the night before my hubby and I prayed the same prayer. Our little one was under the weather, tugging his ears and running a fever. We know he is teething but weren't sure if he was doing these things in response to that. Or not feeling well. As mommy do I keep him home and stay with him? Or send him to his grandma's. So the prayer we both said was "God please keep our son healthy. And make it "PERFECTLY CLEAR" what Suzy should do with her day". Get it? God never gave me a moment of doubt about where I was supposed to be. Our son slept soundly throughout the night and woke up with no fever so I didn't have to worry about if I should keep him home or not. From the minute I woke up until the minute I got home I was on autopilot. I had choices in my day but not really. I could have waited at the hospital and not walked home. But I possibly could have missed my hubby as his cell doesn't receive all calls. We could have driven the truck but wouldn't know what would happen. My choices left little doubt what to do and where to be. I told you God laughed. But then he knew the punchline. Now I can tell the story with a smile because I too know the punchline and its a doozy.
May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with punchlines and laughter. 'Til we meet again. . .
Now I have been recently diagnosed with diabetes and I am treating the diagnosis as not a horror show tragedy but a wake up call. So like a good girl I have been to the doctor and following up as requested. I had labs scheduled for a quick draw of blood after fasting to see where my body stands now: Cholesterol, Iron Levels, and so on. No problem I pass the hospital on my way to work. I'm in, I'm out, and bada bing on the way to work. Oh but see I did not realize that I had a day of fun planned. As part of my follow up my doctor requested that I drop off my blood sugar numbers from the previous week and half to see how I am doing. I drop off the numbers and found out that I was early to my lab appointment as I was suppose to be there where I dropped off the numbers. I thought I was suppose to go across the street. Bonus for me - Today is my lucky day (God must have just roared at that thought!) The receptionist tells me to take a seat and I will be called shortly. Tick tock goes the clock over and over - the minutes slowly tick away. Well here comes ten o'clock the time I am suppose to BE AT WORK. Thirty minutes have passed and still no one has called my name. And just as I am about to stand up to see what is going on a technician walks out and calls my name and another person's. I think. . . It was quietly spoken, and the technician did not come into the waiting room, just the hallway and I have a semi popular last name. I go to the spot that I think I heard my name. Nobody there and the doors have shut to the lab. I look around questioningly - like a lost puppy and a woman who looks like she means business comes out of a different doorway looks me up and down - I must have passed the test of someone who looks like they are ready to have blood drawn - And barks out "Sullivan?" Yes ma'am reporting for duty ma'am. Let's do this and then an older lady catches up to us and follows us. And then we both go into the lab room passing the lab waiting room. I think "Oh, maybe I was supposed to wait there. Maybe that's what the receptionist meant when she said "have a seat". She probably meant " go around these cubicles, take a right , walk down the hallway, go through the double locked doors and take a left and have a seat in the lab waiting area." I just miss such obvious directions. I have never had a double date when I have had blood drawn. Not a huge fan I must say. I am a bit nervous to have my own blood drawn (this may be because it usually takes several attempts, a couple of insults due to small, wiry, twisty veins, and a few bruises). The other lady gets to go first so I get to be extra nervous. I'm from the North where we tend to be conservative and pride ourselves on letting everyone have their privacy unlike the tendency in the South to be open and personable, and share personal details. I am trying to look at the floor, the ceiling, look "friendly" but not nosy. She gets to leave quickly. And then my turn. But wait to keep things moving they call back another person. No problem. Oh but it is an elderly lady with a daughter as her escort. A feisty daughter who starts to get into a passive agressive verbal battle with the technician. Awesome. Please upset the lady who is about to draw my blood. Thank you. Wait, what is the technician grabbing. A cup? Oh no no no! I was not told about this part. I am suppose to just have blood drawn. Nope a urine sample too. Yippee! This Friday morning is getting better and better and I am already ten minutes late to work plus the drive. I hurry out of the clinic after my morning of fun. Get to my truck and turn the key. Roar of engine oh wait. No that is the sound of nothing. Turn the key again. Yeah that is not the sound of a running engine. Okay I will call hubby. Cell phones are great. No answer. I'll try again. Nope still no answer. Keep it together Suzy! Alright I will walk home as I don't live too far. I drive by the hospital everyday and count it three blocks away. In reality it is closer to a mile and half. A little morning jaunt, with my purse, my lunch, my sweatshirt, and my bright blue bandage over where blood was drawn. I was grateful to my shoe choice as they were canvas tennis shoes and not dress shoes. Look at me still smiling. And I even laughed with God. How fun I am getting my work-out this morning. Did I mention it was a fasting blood draw? So I am starving and walking home, I reach my hubby on the phone half way home - he is getting ready for work and it will be faster for me to walk home then him to finish getting ready and grab our son and drive to pick me up. I agree (in a mumbly sort of way - the novelty of being assertive and seizing the opportunity is dwindling away with each passing step.). I reach home and greet my favorite guys. Who my son laughed in delight, my husband laughed, (God must have already shared the punchline with them) and I did that half smile/half cry. We hop in the car and check on the truck. My hubby is able to jump start the truck. Yay hubby. And we test out his handi-work. We turn off the truck and try to restart it. No go! Okay we jump the truck again, victory! But both of us work about fifteen miles away from home - interstate wise- not really safe to drive a vehichle that requires a jump start to get moving. We get the truck home. We then drop our son off for daycare and then drive my hubby to work and then I turn around to go to work.
God was enjoying how he was building the punchline that he added a couple hours of extra fun. As I was checking back in with work running close to three hours late - FANTASTIC! I find out I have three days worth of work sitting on my desk. At this point - this simply can't be true. I knew my boss was joking. Except she wasn't laughing. I got off the phone and was done. I no longer carried the smile on my face, or the nodding of the head like good one. No in my heart I felt like how a ticklefest goes one second to long, the teasing one time too many, or the prank that has too much clean-up. Moments that were meant for levity that go so wrong in the blink of an eye because reality became too much. That workload was the straw that broke the camel's back. Because I had been looking forward to three hours of uninterrupted time at home by myself before this day started. Three hours of no cleaning, no listening for the baby, or helping my husband. But just some quiet me time. And when I heard that work announcement - poof the dream floated away.
I arrived at work - late, knowing what awaited for me. Yet, I was in a bit of denial. I was hoping there had been a misunderstanding, a little stretch of the truth, or even that the work fairy had waved their magic wand. But no, there was that much work to do (Secretly I still hoped to sneak out for a little hour or two of peace and quiet at home). Here we go. My office was phenomenal coming to my rescue but the hours flew by and my dreams faded away. I worked up to the minute that I had to leave to pick up my son and then drive fifteen miles out of the way to pick up hubby. And finally, home. Sweet sweet home.
What's the punchline? Well the night before my hubby and I prayed the same prayer. Our little one was under the weather, tugging his ears and running a fever. We know he is teething but weren't sure if he was doing these things in response to that. Or not feeling well. As mommy do I keep him home and stay with him? Or send him to his grandma's. So the prayer we both said was "God please keep our son healthy. And make it "PERFECTLY CLEAR" what Suzy should do with her day". Get it? God never gave me a moment of doubt about where I was supposed to be. Our son slept soundly throughout the night and woke up with no fever so I didn't have to worry about if I should keep him home or not. From the minute I woke up until the minute I got home I was on autopilot. I had choices in my day but not really. I could have waited at the hospital and not walked home. But I possibly could have missed my hubby as his cell doesn't receive all calls. We could have driven the truck but wouldn't know what would happen. My choices left little doubt what to do and where to be. I told you God laughed. But then he knew the punchline. Now I can tell the story with a smile because I too know the punchline and its a doozy.
May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with punchlines and laughter. 'Til we meet again. . .
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
A Little Exercise with a side of Turban Hash
When counting my blessings I always thank God for my beautiful son and I also am grateful for those times when he naps. This morning he woke up adorable ready for his bottle and why shouldn't he be refreshed? As my li'l one decided at two nineteen this morning to wake up his mama after he crawled into bed at one eleven. And then continued to stay awake for over an hour playing to his heart's content. Needless to say after he took his bottle and began to look drowsy I was ecstatic to put him down for a morning nap. A part of me desperately wanted to nap too. But these days (with an infant on the move) if I hope to get anything accomplished I must utilize naptime for my priorities. And priority number one was to get in some exercise.
I quickly got myself ready after a five minute sit down whine to myself if I really did want to choose exercise over nap. I did (at least after a very convincing argument from the angel on my right side - though temptation on the left side had some fine points!). I dusted off the Wii Fit, well not dusted but did move some craft projects off the Wii Board. My Wii shamed me into guilty feelings as it welcomed me back after 82 days. Sorry Wii Fit, I forget that you count our days apart. Lost a tish of a weight but was psyched about how good it felt to move. I did some yoga where my instructor bailed. I love you Nintendo people you make me laugh. I use the female avatar trainer and the male trainer asked if it was okay if he subbed in. Too funny! I moved thirty five minutes. To end my work outs I usually use the balance games as cool downs. There is one where you are to lean into the soccer ball while avoiding the clutter thrown (panda heads and shoes). Do you know which position is the hardest for me to hit the soccer ball? Standing still/straight - Have no issue with the leans to the left and to the right but if it is coming to me straight on I miss it every time. Seems like an interesting metaphor. I believe effort needs to be involved (sometimes too much effort) before I can acknowledge the rewards even when blessings are lining up to smack me right in the forehead. But this was this morning.
For my evening we tried our new veggie for the week. A Turban Squash which we made into a hash. If you ever see a Turban squash you have to stop and admire one. They are beautiful, comical, and charming. Their taste is good for those who like squash. Preparing one of these is beastly which is why most people use them for decoration. When I picked it up from the grocery store they asked if it was for decoration or is it edible? I chuckled and said "I am not sure." Which they responded with quizzical looks. Why buy something if you don't know its use? Good question! I admit I bought it because of its appearance and immediately upon my arrival home I looked up if it could be eaten. Yes, recipes - excellent as it was bought to be the veggie of the week. One great thing about winter squash is if properly stored and depending on the condition of the squash it can be kept several months. Which is good. Because my shopping and my cooking rarely meet as intended. So tonight it was decided we would have squash - now to just find the right recipe. I have read most squashes are interchangeable. Therefore I picked out a hash recipe intended for butternut squash. No biggie right? Biggie! This squash is a monster to prepare. That beautiful crown/turban top - a beast to cut through!. There is an obvious top and bottom to this squash and the top did not look very appealing. So I chopped off the top and then the peel - oh my goodness at moments it felt like it was shellacked with a heavy duty plastic as the coating is quite thick for a squash. And my poor peeler surrendered several times through the process but I muddled on. Great we have peeled and lost the hat at this point. What's next? Well I was going for a hash so now we grate and grate and grate some more. Buiding muscle, getting tired, and muttering why do I have these crazy brainstorms. Should have just halved it and threw it in the oven to bake. Easy - but no I wanted to attempt a hash. Once I have enough grated I cubed the other portion. Because that is one advantage to squash there is lots to work with usually. Are we done? Oh No! Now we must remove the moisture. Here is the second reason Turkish Turban Squash was not intended to be a hash. They carry a lot of moisture - a lot! Like past the point of ten paper towels soaking up its excess water. Do you know what is the most popular recipe for Turkish Turban Squash? Soup. You know why? Because you don't have to peel the squash as you use it for the bowl because of its interesting exterior and that it brings a lot of richness with its moist flesh. And its pros for soup making make turban squash are negatives for hash. But I persist because I got this harebrained idea this would be a simple side for a simple dinner. (Oh how I laugh at that thought now - a good hearty laugh!). It was a tasty hash with simple ingredients after the squash prep. The flesh was a beautiful deep yellow grated into hearty shreds, add some chopped onions with salt, pepper and both onion and garlic powder. I think a dash of a nice potent spice would have added a tish more depth - like ginger or nutmeg. But just a smidge - as the flavor is delicately balanced between savory and sweet. But from I read on other blogs is that over cooking can create a bitterness but a steam or oven baked for the proper time can create a real nuttiness. With a hash it barely got warm and was a little too wet to get that crispiness in the pan. It was tasty, not tasty enough to outweigh the prep work. But if you invited me over to have some turban squash I would probably go back for seconds. I might lean towards a soup with my left over "squash cubes". Lesson learned. And that comes from experience. So thumbs up on the turban squash taste - but definitely used the wrong recipe, thank goodness there can always be a next time.
May your HealthFULL Journey delight your senses and teach you through missteps and slam dunks. 'Til we meet again. . .
I quickly got myself ready after a five minute sit down whine to myself if I really did want to choose exercise over nap. I did (at least after a very convincing argument from the angel on my right side - though temptation on the left side had some fine points!). I dusted off the Wii Fit, well not dusted but did move some craft projects off the Wii Board. My Wii shamed me into guilty feelings as it welcomed me back after 82 days. Sorry Wii Fit, I forget that you count our days apart. Lost a tish of a weight but was psyched about how good it felt to move. I did some yoga where my instructor bailed. I love you Nintendo people you make me laugh. I use the female avatar trainer and the male trainer asked if it was okay if he subbed in. Too funny! I moved thirty five minutes. To end my work outs I usually use the balance games as cool downs. There is one where you are to lean into the soccer ball while avoiding the clutter thrown (panda heads and shoes). Do you know which position is the hardest for me to hit the soccer ball? Standing still/straight - Have no issue with the leans to the left and to the right but if it is coming to me straight on I miss it every time. Seems like an interesting metaphor. I believe effort needs to be involved (sometimes too much effort) before I can acknowledge the rewards even when blessings are lining up to smack me right in the forehead. But this was this morning.
For my evening we tried our new veggie for the week. A Turban Squash which we made into a hash. If you ever see a Turban squash you have to stop and admire one. They are beautiful, comical, and charming. Their taste is good for those who like squash. Preparing one of these is beastly which is why most people use them for decoration. When I picked it up from the grocery store they asked if it was for decoration or is it edible? I chuckled and said "I am not sure." Which they responded with quizzical looks. Why buy something if you don't know its use? Good question! I admit I bought it because of its appearance and immediately upon my arrival home I looked up if it could be eaten. Yes, recipes - excellent as it was bought to be the veggie of the week. One great thing about winter squash is if properly stored and depending on the condition of the squash it can be kept several months. Which is good. Because my shopping and my cooking rarely meet as intended. So tonight it was decided we would have squash - now to just find the right recipe. I have read most squashes are interchangeable. Therefore I picked out a hash recipe intended for butternut squash. No biggie right? Biggie! This squash is a monster to prepare. That beautiful crown/turban top - a beast to cut through!. There is an obvious top and bottom to this squash and the top did not look very appealing. So I chopped off the top and then the peel - oh my goodness at moments it felt like it was shellacked with a heavy duty plastic as the coating is quite thick for a squash. And my poor peeler surrendered several times through the process but I muddled on. Great we have peeled and lost the hat at this point. What's next? Well I was going for a hash so now we grate and grate and grate some more. Buiding muscle, getting tired, and muttering why do I have these crazy brainstorms. Should have just halved it and threw it in the oven to bake. Easy - but no I wanted to attempt a hash. Once I have enough grated I cubed the other portion. Because that is one advantage to squash there is lots to work with usually. Are we done? Oh No! Now we must remove the moisture. Here is the second reason Turkish Turban Squash was not intended to be a hash. They carry a lot of moisture - a lot! Like past the point of ten paper towels soaking up its excess water. Do you know what is the most popular recipe for Turkish Turban Squash? Soup. You know why? Because you don't have to peel the squash as you use it for the bowl because of its interesting exterior and that it brings a lot of richness with its moist flesh. And its pros for soup making make turban squash are negatives for hash. But I persist because I got this harebrained idea this would be a simple side for a simple dinner. (Oh how I laugh at that thought now - a good hearty laugh!). It was a tasty hash with simple ingredients after the squash prep. The flesh was a beautiful deep yellow grated into hearty shreds, add some chopped onions with salt, pepper and both onion and garlic powder. I think a dash of a nice potent spice would have added a tish more depth - like ginger or nutmeg. But just a smidge - as the flavor is delicately balanced between savory and sweet. But from I read on other blogs is that over cooking can create a bitterness but a steam or oven baked for the proper time can create a real nuttiness. With a hash it barely got warm and was a little too wet to get that crispiness in the pan. It was tasty, not tasty enough to outweigh the prep work. But if you invited me over to have some turban squash I would probably go back for seconds. I might lean towards a soup with my left over "squash cubes". Lesson learned. And that comes from experience. So thumbs up on the turban squash taste - but definitely used the wrong recipe, thank goodness there can always be a next time.
May your HealthFULL Journey delight your senses and teach you through missteps and slam dunks. 'Til we meet again. . .
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Measuring Up
I did something so shocking this evening I didn't even realize what I was doing until I was done. I measured gravy for my dinner. We had a delicious roast that stewed in the crockpot all day long with its vegetable friends including potatoes (yes carb alert!), onions, and mushrooms. (Oh how I love mushrooms and thankfully they are low in carbs.) The house smelled delicious and welcoming on a cool rainy autumn day. My hubby whipped up a gravy and I turned to my trusty carb counter book to best calculate my carbs for supper. I double-checke with my hubby that he quartered the potatoes to estimate my best count there. I began loading my plate counting my potatoes and then reached into a drawer to measure out not quite two tablespoons of gravy. First that more than was enough gravy. Had I not grabbed the tablespoon I easily would have slathered double if not triple the amount of gravy. I do enjoy dips, sauces, and spreads that's why I need the spoon because my eyes like to up the ante. Also, did you hear how easy it was to measure something? When people start to feel defensive about their eating choices, many bring up they can't be hassled with scales, counts, and measuring devices. Is it really the equipment; the numbers? Or is it the relinquish of control? Or that fantasy plays better than reality? Real measurements rarely match our eyeball estimates. A teaspoon easily becomes a tablespoon, a quarter cup easily grows to a cup, a pint of ice cream becomes 1 - 2 servings maximum, but if you read the label it was designed for four servings.
Do I plan to measure every meal I eat? No. But it doesn't hurt to re-train my eye estimates. And the hassle? Ten seconds to retrieve the measuring spoon from the drawer, dip into the gravy (I had to somehow move the gravy from the pan to my plate anyway) and then rinse spoon and place in dishwasher. It really didn't take time out of my day. It didn't burden me with obstacles and riddles. It was an action that barely registered a thought.
If I want different results than what I have already attained, I have to do different things; not just think about different things, not just try different things, but actually commit to new actions to create changed results. Not every action will be stellar. But it will help me move forward in this HealthFULL Journey.
May your own HealthFULL Journey measure up to all of your expectations. 'Til we meet again. . .
Do I plan to measure every meal I eat? No. But it doesn't hurt to re-train my eye estimates. And the hassle? Ten seconds to retrieve the measuring spoon from the drawer, dip into the gravy (I had to somehow move the gravy from the pan to my plate anyway) and then rinse spoon and place in dishwasher. It really didn't take time out of my day. It didn't burden me with obstacles and riddles. It was an action that barely registered a thought.
If I want different results than what I have already attained, I have to do different things; not just think about different things, not just try different things, but actually commit to new actions to create changed results. Not every action will be stellar. But it will help me move forward in this HealthFULL Journey.
May your own HealthFULL Journey measure up to all of your expectations. 'Til we meet again. . .
Monday, October 10, 2011
Ahhh the "Con" of Convenience
Well if you have read some of my other blog entries you may have read that I am recently diagnosed with diabetes. I have ran with my denial long enough and am working at gaining control of my blood sugar and my health. I have felt two extremes from this recent diagnosis. That debilitating illness and bitter enemy that ends sugar. That dynamic influence aiding better efforts that encourage success. Both spell diabetes and either outlook can be a choice. One can choose to succumb to the diagnose and can continue on their same path. Or can take the diagnosis as a wake-up call. Currently I feel 85% on board with the wake-up call and allow myself the occasional pity party ( I do love me a good pity party now and again :) Don't get me wrong I miss the sweet taste and comforting starches, but what I really miss? The convenience! Oh when you wipe away high carb choices our pantry looks almost empty, so do restaurant choices, and 90% of a grocery store is off limits. Good-bye pizza, pasta, rice, breads, and potatoes! Eek! Did you read those options? I honestly believe in the previous six months of dinners (we'll say 180) my husband and I have included one of those ingredients/entrees for 165 of them. If not all 180! Why? Because they are quick, easy to pull a meal together, and satisfying. Can a meal get simpler than pulling a frozen pizza out of the freezer and heat up in the oven? Not that I have found.
This means when it comes to meal we have to pull out our thinking caps. There can be creative ways around the carbs to pull out classic favorites. Substitute spaghetti squash for pasta (though squash still is high in carbs it does carry the benefit of fiber). I read a recipe where you treat flattened chicken like your pizza crust and cover it with some sauce, toppings, and cheese. Sounds good. But we aren't quite there yet in our meal preparation. We are still being conned by convenience. Rice dishes and pasta still call our names. Pizza still beckons from the freezer section. Even fruits get in their two cents about how they're healthy (but many exceed carb counts). I love bananas but I am very picky about their color, size, and taste. One banana usually exceeds snack proportions and I need something a little more filling for breakfast. And to leave half for the next day isn't going to happen - talk about waste. Because well I still fall for their call. And yet I can't break their peel knowing they are packed with carbs (and a million other wonderful benefits) but for right now I am focusing on my carb counts as I get my blood sugar numbers under control.
I am a snacker and who doesn't appreciate handy snack portions - like a package of crackers, pudding cups, a snack size bag of chips, or my favorite - Little Debby? Most of these are automatic no-nos according to my carb breakdowns for the day. There are some "cheats" so I can feel like "me". But I don't want my carb counts to be slimmed down snack foods and want some of my options to count towards improving my health. But again the "con" of convenience can knock me off the path with their snack size wrapping and luring promises of being the healthier alternative of their full-flavored carb loaded cousins. Most of these versions remind you how much you miss the real thing and so in hindsight you either dump the healthier alternative or eat 3 trying to "con"vince yourself that it is almost as good as the real thing.
This blog isn't about whining though. Just a reflection that it is easy to tell oneself I miss the sweet flavor and the comfort of starch but if one gets really honest? Doesn't the convenience factor rank just a bit higher? The blissfullness of choosing anything one craves and that it comes in handy dandy packages or can be whipped up in a jiffy. Oh I do miss that. But I love and appreciate more than convenience? Is that I feel I am gaining back energy that I and many sweet treats used to kid that their presence brought. Saturday I felt like I was actually keeping up with my life and not running behind the bus. I got major house cleaning done, ran some errands, spent quality time with my hubby and son, and even found a little quiet time with me, myself, and I. There is still a long road to follow on this HealthFULL Journey and I feel there will be some surprising turns, hills and dips, but I actually feel I can face it step by step now as this burden of overtiredness, excessive thirst, craving monster, distracted thoughts, slowly fades. Good Riddance! And convenience though I know you manipulate and tease I still do appreciate your efforts because sometimes we all need that lift and help that you do occasionally provide.
May your HealthFULL Journey echo success and be immune to the cons of convenience but still have room for those unexpected and appreciated conveniences that share their boost. 'Til we meet again. . .
This means when it comes to meal we have to pull out our thinking caps. There can be creative ways around the carbs to pull out classic favorites. Substitute spaghetti squash for pasta (though squash still is high in carbs it does carry the benefit of fiber). I read a recipe where you treat flattened chicken like your pizza crust and cover it with some sauce, toppings, and cheese. Sounds good. But we aren't quite there yet in our meal preparation. We are still being conned by convenience. Rice dishes and pasta still call our names. Pizza still beckons from the freezer section. Even fruits get in their two cents about how they're healthy (but many exceed carb counts). I love bananas but I am very picky about their color, size, and taste. One banana usually exceeds snack proportions and I need something a little more filling for breakfast. And to leave half for the next day isn't going to happen - talk about waste. Because well I still fall for their call. And yet I can't break their peel knowing they are packed with carbs (and a million other wonderful benefits) but for right now I am focusing on my carb counts as I get my blood sugar numbers under control.
I am a snacker and who doesn't appreciate handy snack portions - like a package of crackers, pudding cups, a snack size bag of chips, or my favorite - Little Debby? Most of these are automatic no-nos according to my carb breakdowns for the day. There are some "cheats" so I can feel like "me". But I don't want my carb counts to be slimmed down snack foods and want some of my options to count towards improving my health. But again the "con" of convenience can knock me off the path with their snack size wrapping and luring promises of being the healthier alternative of their full-flavored carb loaded cousins. Most of these versions remind you how much you miss the real thing and so in hindsight you either dump the healthier alternative or eat 3 trying to "con"vince yourself that it is almost as good as the real thing.
This blog isn't about whining though. Just a reflection that it is easy to tell oneself I miss the sweet flavor and the comfort of starch but if one gets really honest? Doesn't the convenience factor rank just a bit higher? The blissfullness of choosing anything one craves and that it comes in handy dandy packages or can be whipped up in a jiffy. Oh I do miss that. But I love and appreciate more than convenience? Is that I feel I am gaining back energy that I and many sweet treats used to kid that their presence brought. Saturday I felt like I was actually keeping up with my life and not running behind the bus. I got major house cleaning done, ran some errands, spent quality time with my hubby and son, and even found a little quiet time with me, myself, and I. There is still a long road to follow on this HealthFULL Journey and I feel there will be some surprising turns, hills and dips, but I actually feel I can face it step by step now as this burden of overtiredness, excessive thirst, craving monster, distracted thoughts, slowly fades. Good Riddance! And convenience though I know you manipulate and tease I still do appreciate your efforts because sometimes we all need that lift and help that you do occasionally provide.
May your HealthFULL Journey echo success and be immune to the cons of convenience but still have room for those unexpected and appreciated conveniences that share their boost. 'Til we meet again. . .
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Crawling
Isn't perspective an amazing tool? When an adult refers to the pace of crawling it usually means painstakingly slow. A baby's perspective is that they are zooming with their new acquired skill (parents chasing after them also may think crawling is too fast of pace). There is a lot of crawling happening in our house. Our son is having a blast with his new skill. And more than once I have been in the same room with him and said "where is the baby?" The kid moves quick!
Last night I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I was so hungry!!!! Actually to be truthful I was craving, I was mising my plates of pasta and bowls of ice cream, sweet juices and unlimited fruit choices, crackling bags of crunchy potato chips. Oh the list is endless. In reality, did I NEED any of what I was craving? No. Did I survive without it? Barely. I drove myself nuts and brought my hubby for the drive. He must have felt like he was trapped in the car with young children who incessantly whine, beg, pout, question, and just babble. I was trying everything I could imagine to distract myself. I even tried to go sleep early (I think my hubby was politely removing himself from the incessant chatter.) But I followed and tossed and turned. I bolted out of bed grabbed a snack and headed to the tv. But I left the snack to the side and drank water. I broke a horrible habit of mine if it was even for one night. I am so guilty of late night tv watching with a tasty snack (2 or 3) with a soda (or 2). But I actually watched two episodes and only sipped on water. I got through my first big night of cravings. I did snack but within the allotted number of carbs. I felt a small accomplishment.
Like my son, I am crawling through my days. Trying to peek around the corners and rediscover the world. What used to be easy options are no longer so I have to forge new pathways. I am starting to feel slightly better. I am drinking less diet soda a day (from 3 - 5 a day down to 1) and as a family we even went for a walk/stroll today. My blood sugar numbers are declining which is good. Crawling at times feels like a lot of effort. But a consistent crawl still gets one to their destination. So I'll take a cue from my son - enjoy the movement (whether it be forward, backward, or in circles) and discoveries will come, but in their own time.
May your HealthFULL Journey move at the pace of a crawl which includes a variety of perspectives. 'Til we meet again. . .
Last night I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I was so hungry!!!! Actually to be truthful I was craving, I was mising my plates of pasta and bowls of ice cream, sweet juices and unlimited fruit choices, crackling bags of crunchy potato chips. Oh the list is endless. In reality, did I NEED any of what I was craving? No. Did I survive without it? Barely. I drove myself nuts and brought my hubby for the drive. He must have felt like he was trapped in the car with young children who incessantly whine, beg, pout, question, and just babble. I was trying everything I could imagine to distract myself. I even tried to go sleep early (I think my hubby was politely removing himself from the incessant chatter.) But I followed and tossed and turned. I bolted out of bed grabbed a snack and headed to the tv. But I left the snack to the side and drank water. I broke a horrible habit of mine if it was even for one night. I am so guilty of late night tv watching with a tasty snack (2 or 3) with a soda (or 2). But I actually watched two episodes and only sipped on water. I got through my first big night of cravings. I did snack but within the allotted number of carbs. I felt a small accomplishment.
Like my son, I am crawling through my days. Trying to peek around the corners and rediscover the world. What used to be easy options are no longer so I have to forge new pathways. I am starting to feel slightly better. I am drinking less diet soda a day (from 3 - 5 a day down to 1) and as a family we even went for a walk/stroll today. My blood sugar numbers are declining which is good. Crawling at times feels like a lot of effort. But a consistent crawl still gets one to their destination. So I'll take a cue from my son - enjoy the movement (whether it be forward, backward, or in circles) and discoveries will come, but in their own time.
May your HealthFULL Journey move at the pace of a crawl which includes a variety of perspectives. 'Til we meet again. . .
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Let's Get Physical
Bopping around to a true eighties classic. Can you hear that expression and not think of the song? No It is impossible.
So, I did it. I bit the bullet, swallowed my pride, and actually followed up with a doctor. And had *cue horror music* a physical. I believe it has been close to two decades since I have had one. And since then I have became an anxious patient with not so good memories of doctor visits.
There was a little slapstick comedy as I tried to arrange this appointment. I called Monday (as my ER visit was last Friday). I had several criteria I used to narrow my search as I looked for my own doctor. I sadly have never had a personal doctor(besides my team for the baby) I never a doctor just for me, Suzy and surely as mom to be Suzy I had zillions it felt like but never a referring physician since I was eighteen. And I am thirty-one. Oh I have piggy-backed off of family and friend choices and recommendations but nothing "committed". Here was my narrowing down (the ER had recommended a branch but that was because they were on-call the night I stopped by the ER so I decided to take matters into my own hands.) I wanted someone who carried my insurance (I know I am thinking so adult like trying to save thousands of dollars), next I chose proximity (Location! Location! Location!), and finally I wanted and you can call this profiling or prejudice but I decided I wanted a woman to share this journey. I am a mom, we are going to be discussing weight extensively and I have a lot of factors that tie back to pregnancy, I want that womanly connection. It brought me down to one choice. Excellent - I then pick up the phone to call and got nervous. How do I approach this? What do I say? Do I act non chalant or matter of fact - lets get down to business approach? It really did feel like I was calling to set up a date. And the response to my call did not ease my anxiety:
Me: Hi! My name is Suzy and I went to the E.R. last Friday and they recommended that I follow up with my physician but I don't have one and I would like to make Dr. X my doctor. (in one breath)
Response: Let me understand. You want to become a new patient for Dr. X?
Me: Yes! Yes I would.
Response: Okay I will just need to get some information to share with Dr. X and see if she would like to take you on as a new patient.
Me: Okay (but in my head thinking, really? Like what kind of information - is this like a dating profile and if you don't like my answers you are booked up. And what kind of patients does the doctor want? Someone with a lot of ailments that they can write articles and be challenged by or someone who just needs to list a doctor and might be in once a year?)
Response: (asked the basics) and then the essay question portion : for what do you want to see the doctor?
Me: Diabetes
Response: Any other medical problems?
Me: I am morbidly obese. (wow did I just say that? Its true and when I show up in the office if my rose is accepted - I know! I know! Too much reality tv - they'll see for themselves. But I don't know if I have ever been that honest out loud with another person. )
Response: Okay well that should cover everything and someone will let you know soon if you have been accepted and if accepted to schedule your new patient physical. (Feeling awesome - let my walls down and now I just wait for acceptance or rejection and if accepted my prize is a physical - GO ME!).
Well Tuesday arrives and I see I have a voicemail at 11:45 am. The office called at 10:10 to schedule me this afternoon at 1:30. WOW! (My answers must have been stellar for such quick reply ;) I arrange it with my boss to take off for the appointment call them back to accept their appointment. And they had given away my spot. So I was accepted, I then called to reconfirm my acceptance and then I was rejected but scheduled for a slot in mid-December. Hmmm. Okay - that is a lot to process. Go back to my boss false alarm I'll just continue to do my work - heh heh. Phone rings at 1:54 pm (I am not making this up) to come into the office for a 2:30pm appointment today. Oh well that's great except I am at work and it is a 25 minute drive and I have to go back to my boss after my workload has tripled to request leaving within ten minutes of my request. I am just on fire!!! But in the back of my head I hear or take your December appointment. My boss agrees and I try to tidy up my desk as quickly as possible and fly out the door. I arrive to fill out 8 pages of paperwork - this office is thorough! And onward through the physical. It was confirmed that I am diabetic. (Horrible A1C - but the next one will not only be better but awesome!) and they weren't loving my blood pressure (I think for the exchanges we had in 24 hours I was pretty even keel).
Not a fan of doctors. Certainly not a fan of medications. but I have tried this on my own and it is time to make room in this HealthFULL Journey for those with medical degrees. How can one succeed if one never tries? I am gonna give it the old heave ho and we'll see. This road has had some bumps, mountains, valleys, but not an experience I would have missed. So I keep traveling, with an open heart, open ears, open eyes, open mind, and hopefully a little wisdom for those moments that require a decision.
May your HealthFULL Journey allow you new experiences, wisdom in all circumstances, and peace for all your choices. 'Til we meet again. . .
So, I did it. I bit the bullet, swallowed my pride, and actually followed up with a doctor. And had *cue horror music* a physical. I believe it has been close to two decades since I have had one. And since then I have became an anxious patient with not so good memories of doctor visits.
There was a little slapstick comedy as I tried to arrange this appointment. I called Monday (as my ER visit was last Friday). I had several criteria I used to narrow my search as I looked for my own doctor. I sadly have never had a personal doctor(besides my team for the baby) I never a doctor just for me, Suzy and surely as mom to be Suzy I had zillions it felt like but never a referring physician since I was eighteen. And I am thirty-one. Oh I have piggy-backed off of family and friend choices and recommendations but nothing "committed". Here was my narrowing down (the ER had recommended a branch but that was because they were on-call the night I stopped by the ER so I decided to take matters into my own hands.) I wanted someone who carried my insurance (I know I am thinking so adult like trying to save thousands of dollars), next I chose proximity (Location! Location! Location!), and finally I wanted and you can call this profiling or prejudice but I decided I wanted a woman to share this journey. I am a mom, we are going to be discussing weight extensively and I have a lot of factors that tie back to pregnancy, I want that womanly connection. It brought me down to one choice. Excellent - I then pick up the phone to call and got nervous. How do I approach this? What do I say? Do I act non chalant or matter of fact - lets get down to business approach? It really did feel like I was calling to set up a date. And the response to my call did not ease my anxiety:
Me: Hi! My name is Suzy and I went to the E.R. last Friday and they recommended that I follow up with my physician but I don't have one and I would like to make Dr. X my doctor. (in one breath)
Response: Let me understand. You want to become a new patient for Dr. X?
Me: Yes! Yes I would.
Response: Okay I will just need to get some information to share with Dr. X and see if she would like to take you on as a new patient.
Me: Okay (but in my head thinking, really? Like what kind of information - is this like a dating profile and if you don't like my answers you are booked up. And what kind of patients does the doctor want? Someone with a lot of ailments that they can write articles and be challenged by or someone who just needs to list a doctor and might be in once a year?)
Response: (asked the basics) and then the essay question portion : for what do you want to see the doctor?
Me: Diabetes
Response: Any other medical problems?
Me: I am morbidly obese. (wow did I just say that? Its true and when I show up in the office if my rose is accepted - I know! I know! Too much reality tv - they'll see for themselves. But I don't know if I have ever been that honest out loud with another person. )
Response: Okay well that should cover everything and someone will let you know soon if you have been accepted and if accepted to schedule your new patient physical. (Feeling awesome - let my walls down and now I just wait for acceptance or rejection and if accepted my prize is a physical - GO ME!).
Well Tuesday arrives and I see I have a voicemail at 11:45 am. The office called at 10:10 to schedule me this afternoon at 1:30. WOW! (My answers must have been stellar for such quick reply ;) I arrange it with my boss to take off for the appointment call them back to accept their appointment. And they had given away my spot. So I was accepted, I then called to reconfirm my acceptance and then I was rejected but scheduled for a slot in mid-December. Hmmm. Okay - that is a lot to process. Go back to my boss false alarm I'll just continue to do my work - heh heh. Phone rings at 1:54 pm (I am not making this up) to come into the office for a 2:30pm appointment today. Oh well that's great except I am at work and it is a 25 minute drive and I have to go back to my boss after my workload has tripled to request leaving within ten minutes of my request. I am just on fire!!! But in the back of my head I hear or take your December appointment. My boss agrees and I try to tidy up my desk as quickly as possible and fly out the door. I arrive to fill out 8 pages of paperwork - this office is thorough! And onward through the physical. It was confirmed that I am diabetic. (Horrible A1C - but the next one will not only be better but awesome!) and they weren't loving my blood pressure (I think for the exchanges we had in 24 hours I was pretty even keel).
Not a fan of doctors. Certainly not a fan of medications. but I have tried this on my own and it is time to make room in this HealthFULL Journey for those with medical degrees. How can one succeed if one never tries? I am gonna give it the old heave ho and we'll see. This road has had some bumps, mountains, valleys, but not an experience I would have missed. So I keep traveling, with an open heart, open ears, open eyes, open mind, and hopefully a little wisdom for those moments that require a decision.
May your HealthFULL Journey allow you new experiences, wisdom in all circumstances, and peace for all your choices. 'Til we meet again. . .
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Out of sight, out of mind
Oh sweet September where did you go? So much happened and yet so little too. Our actions follow our focus and my focus as been everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The month started with a wonderful vacation with our little one down in Florida. He has officially experienced the beach. He also saw sharks up close and personal...like three feet away and we didn't even have to pay an admission fee. I learned many lessons on this special family vacation- it is completely different to be in the parent role vs. the kid role. I miss the kid role. I love the carefreeness of having a destination without worry about the details. I enjoy the play time without distraction of a schedule. Or concern about prices. Parents have to figure out this stuff and try hard not to hassle the child with the details. My husband and I both looked constantly at our watches to figure out meals, beach time, while still penciling in naps, and baths, and yet still look smily for the camera. It was amazing, but different
I have had many of these perception lessons on this HealthFULL Journey. And by the end of the month I had an upfront kick in the stomach kind of lesson. It is time to get focused. Health matters. Remember in June I said I hit rock bottom. Apparently not. Once again I have left scheduling the doctor appointment on the back burner and it boiled over yesterday. I had an episode...during the day.....no warning.....at work. Not fun! So I ended up in the ER for seven hours and walked away with a prescription. and a somewhat diagnosis.
It started with me at work : double-knotted stomach cramps, followed by hands on fire and bright red with a little tingle in the mouth and hands, lots of sweating as if I ran a marathon (which I have never accomplished but imagine I would "glisten" this much"), and the urge to take a nap on the cool bathroom tile as my light-headedness increased. It was tempting (gross idea) but in the moment sounded heavenly. Why did I not actually crumple to the floor? Because it would be awkward to describe my actions and the place will give you the heebie jeebies when one feels well. I attempted returning to my desk and finishing my work. But I was still feeling bad, still sweating, and couldn't divide thoughts in my head. No multi-tasking bragging rights here. My only focus was to get home to get to the hospital. I don't know if we ever outgrow the need for family - as a kid I wanted my mommy when I was sick - I now choose my hubby. Someone to answer those tough questions (age, allergies, history) when all I want to do is nap. After alarming my office as I tried to downplay the fact that I was sweating like a linebacker I focused on driving which took all my mental capacity. I picked up my husband and went to the ER. We arrived and only one person sat in the waiting room. My information was immediately taken upon arrival. Things were looking good. We were informed there would be a slight wait. No problem (30 40 minutes) but we're optimists. Ha ha ha on my optimism. Several people came in immediately after me - some with blood exposed and they were seen before me. I get it my symptoms had subsided. But figured I should still see a doctor and figure out what had happened. Two hours pass (a couple visits to the front desk - any ideas about when we'll be seen? No? Great. . .so we wait - tick tock tick tock - losing my mind. And then they call my name - but do I hear it? No I had given up hope and was ready to head home. False alarm let's catch a nap. But he was persistent and I moseyed over to him. I was feeling better but still off. He escorts me to a room - mentions he'll move the curtain to cover up the window. And mentions the camera in the corner. By the way we use this room for our mental patients. Awesome! And I feebly attempt a joke - Well nice to know what you think of me. The nurse gets a bit defensive and semi yells Its the only room we have open. Thank you. Finally a bed to lay down. Another forty-five minutes pass and a nurse who either was unhappy to be there or just had one of those days takes my history. (Don't you love with this new technology you still tell your symptoms and allergies at least three - four times?) Then the P.A. comes in shortly after and says "All I know if you feel strange". Great (found out at the end of the day this is what they wrote in my chart - reason for being seen: the patient states "Feels strange". Awesome - now I do really question the reason for the mental patient room. Well after my fourth chat about the symptoms the PA decides to run blood tests, urine sample, and to give me fluids. This is how I know I wasn't completely on my "A" game, it took me three whole minutes upon her departure that I realized what she said. "Give me fluids". Wait a minute - does that mean an IV? I asked my hubby and he nodded that is usually what that means. Ohhhh I hate needles, shots, IVs! I have squiggly veins according to most nurses. I am so blessed! Well we got through that event without too much drama. And the result . .. it appears I had an episode of too high blood sugar. And with a couple of other facts about my medical history it appears I am diabetic. This isn't like a gasp moment of shock. But it is a head down, hmmm really? Like I don't want it to be true but it makes sense. So they sent me off with a prescription and advice to find a doctor. It only took six 1/2 hours, three administrative personnel, six nurses, one P.A., one doctor, and one call to the pharmacy.
Here it is - my gift, my motivation, my warning to set my health as a priority so that the blessing in my life count and that I can enjoy them now and many many more years to come. It means exercise, it means nutritious choices, it means check-ups, and it means making smart choices now. I am not cheering for this news but I am accepting it. No more snoozes with this wake-up call. I ask you to join me in this HealthFULL Journey once again, especially now that stakes are so real. . .
May your blessings come when needed, your loved ones gather when you can cherish them, and that every day you feel gratitude in your heart. "Til we meet again. . .
I have had many of these perception lessons on this HealthFULL Journey. And by the end of the month I had an upfront kick in the stomach kind of lesson. It is time to get focused. Health matters. Remember in June I said I hit rock bottom. Apparently not. Once again I have left scheduling the doctor appointment on the back burner and it boiled over yesterday. I had an episode...during the day.....no warning.....at work. Not fun! So I ended up in the ER for seven hours and walked away with a prescription. and a somewhat diagnosis.
It started with me at work : double-knotted stomach cramps, followed by hands on fire and bright red with a little tingle in the mouth and hands, lots of sweating as if I ran a marathon (which I have never accomplished but imagine I would "glisten" this much"), and the urge to take a nap on the cool bathroom tile as my light-headedness increased. It was tempting (gross idea) but in the moment sounded heavenly. Why did I not actually crumple to the floor? Because it would be awkward to describe my actions and the place will give you the heebie jeebies when one feels well. I attempted returning to my desk and finishing my work. But I was still feeling bad, still sweating, and couldn't divide thoughts in my head. No multi-tasking bragging rights here. My only focus was to get home to get to the hospital. I don't know if we ever outgrow the need for family - as a kid I wanted my mommy when I was sick - I now choose my hubby. Someone to answer those tough questions (age, allergies, history) when all I want to do is nap. After alarming my office as I tried to downplay the fact that I was sweating like a linebacker I focused on driving which took all my mental capacity. I picked up my husband and went to the ER. We arrived and only one person sat in the waiting room. My information was immediately taken upon arrival. Things were looking good. We were informed there would be a slight wait. No problem (30 40 minutes) but we're optimists. Ha ha ha on my optimism. Several people came in immediately after me - some with blood exposed and they were seen before me. I get it my symptoms had subsided. But figured I should still see a doctor and figure out what had happened. Two hours pass (a couple visits to the front desk - any ideas about when we'll be seen? No? Great. . .so we wait - tick tock tick tock - losing my mind. And then they call my name - but do I hear it? No I had given up hope and was ready to head home. False alarm let's catch a nap. But he was persistent and I moseyed over to him. I was feeling better but still off. He escorts me to a room - mentions he'll move the curtain to cover up the window. And mentions the camera in the corner. By the way we use this room for our mental patients. Awesome! And I feebly attempt a joke - Well nice to know what you think of me. The nurse gets a bit defensive and semi yells Its the only room we have open. Thank you. Finally a bed to lay down. Another forty-five minutes pass and a nurse who either was unhappy to be there or just had one of those days takes my history. (Don't you love with this new technology you still tell your symptoms and allergies at least three - four times?) Then the P.A. comes in shortly after and says "All I know if you feel strange". Great (found out at the end of the day this is what they wrote in my chart - reason for being seen: the patient states "Feels strange". Awesome - now I do really question the reason for the mental patient room. Well after my fourth chat about the symptoms the PA decides to run blood tests, urine sample, and to give me fluids. This is how I know I wasn't completely on my "A" game, it took me three whole minutes upon her departure that I realized what she said. "Give me fluids". Wait a minute - does that mean an IV? I asked my hubby and he nodded that is usually what that means. Ohhhh I hate needles, shots, IVs! I have squiggly veins according to most nurses. I am so blessed! Well we got through that event without too much drama. And the result . .. it appears I had an episode of too high blood sugar. And with a couple of other facts about my medical history it appears I am diabetic. This isn't like a gasp moment of shock. But it is a head down, hmmm really? Like I don't want it to be true but it makes sense. So they sent me off with a prescription and advice to find a doctor. It only took six 1/2 hours, three administrative personnel, six nurses, one P.A., one doctor, and one call to the pharmacy.
Here it is - my gift, my motivation, my warning to set my health as a priority so that the blessing in my life count and that I can enjoy them now and many many more years to come. It means exercise, it means nutritious choices, it means check-ups, and it means making smart choices now. I am not cheering for this news but I am accepting it. No more snoozes with this wake-up call. I ask you to join me in this HealthFULL Journey once again, especially now that stakes are so real. . .
May your blessings come when needed, your loved ones gather when you can cherish them, and that every day you feel gratitude in your heart. "Til we meet again. . .
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Unscripted Outcome
Oh Wednesday you mock me like only someone near and dear to me can. I have shared that Wednesdays are my son's and my day. We get the weekends but Wednesdays are "special". They are that smack middle of the week where it is surprising that we get a day to ourselves (though we tend to share it with others via appointments, visits, and errands). Its our chance to catch up with responsibilities(me : housework, Baby boy: to be the cutest and sweetest while mastering great feats via playing :) Today we had no solid appointments and I looked forward to our relaxing day. Oh I do fear this is where I went wrong. You decide. . .
I crashed in our bed at 2:30 am (I am a night owl an tend to sleep in phases and the previous phase had been in our ultra comfy recliners excellent last minute purchase day before our son was to come home :) Then four thirty rolls around and it sounds like alarms are blaring. No it is my son screaming I bound from our bed and arrive in the nursery. Pulling hair into ponytail (this is my mommy alert look so my son does not panic) and wipe sleep from my eyes as I stumble to the nursery. Oh well that wasn't what I expected to find. My son is on all fours (he isn't crawling yet) stuck in that position as he is in the short length of his crib. Okay baby I can fix this. I pick up the giggly boy (not the same shrieks as of two minutes earlier) and give him a fresh diaper because I know in his shoes that would make me feel better too. We giggle and sing as he drifts back to sleep. I finally succumb to his lullaby dog and sneak away from his bedside (mommy is very tired!) I rock in the recliner as I listen for his sleepy murmurs. And then allowed my hubby to walk by me as he awoke to start his day. He tiptoed to our son's room to check on our son and most likely thought I would be there. Surprise I am hiding in the living room (after three hours of sleep I thought this was hilarious :) I then crawled back into bed after five. And surprise once again my screaming alarm blares at 6:30am. Fantastic! This scream was I AM STARVING! So we cuddled together as he enjoyed his bottle. We giggled and then back to bed with a plea from mom because I am still just a little bit tired. I dozed in the recliner waiting for his sleepy sounds once again. Woke up in a panic feeling robbed of true sleep and snuck into my welcoming and comforting bed. Ahhhhhhh (slowly drifting and decrescendoing) only to crescendo tweny minutes later into AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Yippy we are awake for the day. Let's round up the cowboys we need to get a scootin'. And so our day of chores and routines begin. Laundry in, dishwasher loaded, setting up for tomorrow - lunches packed, outfits chosen, grabbing toys to commence playing and we play and play. I sneak in a little breakfast and then he is immediately unto lunch. We play a little more and then bottle for nap. Ahhhhhh I love naps. Mine/his both equal mommy rest. And fourteen minutes down as I begin to make my own lunch. The screams start again. I rush to his room to find a sleeping baby. I sneak in a shower because only when that task is complete do I feel accomplished for the day. I then again hear the whimpers. I find a sad son and we discuss how crucial nap is for the day as we plan on swimming later. We strike a deal. Ten minutes in the crib as I grab lunch. If he is still awake we will continue to play or he gets the nap so desperately needed and deserved by both of us :) Switch out laundry, finish dishes, and straighten. Then once again the baby stirs this time we both agree time to get moving. I go to feed him his meal. And my sweet child felt it was a good time that mommy learn an important lesson. Baby needs constant attention one slip in observation and chaos will reign. As I find my son (seconds passed....seconds) had dumped out his baby food and smeared it on him, high chair, a little on the wall, and a bunch in his lap. By the way I didn't think that much came packaged together. I could have screamed, cleaned up immediately. But really the damage was done, te kid deserves some fun. So he finger painted mixed vegetables to his heart's content. And then I spotted the winged beast. A wasp, near our sliding doors, please please please be outside. As the wasp begins to crawl up the window I breathe relief as he looks stuck between the door and glass, wait , nope definitely inside. And two feet away from the baby covered in baby food. Don't panic (though I am so not a fan of creatures with wings especially those that can sting). I slip over to the fly swatter (only through the adrenaline of motherhood would I even consider attacking this wasp). I steadied my movement, held my breath, and whimpered a prayer. I lifted the fly swatter and whoosh. Slightly tapped the wasp half fearful of missing and angering the beast. Wait on the first try it is down. WOO HOO. After conquering that mission - let's move unto operation clean the kid and highchair after feeding him some real food (vs. just painting it and wearing it). Next up changing into swimsuit. Of course messy diaper strikes. Why not? By the time my hubby arrives home to take us swimming I am stumbling bleary eyed and exhausted but determined to have some fun. I "Casper" up my son as I cover him and I mean cover him in sunscreen. (We weren't taking any chances). Yes we arrive at the pool as it is our own private oasis. Cue music because we are about to break into song....wait for it .....and car pulls up. Seriously? And then another car, and another, and another. Well no private oasis today as not one swimming lesson takes place, but two. Oh Wednesday with your witty way. Both lessons come to a close at the same time and the other car is leaving. Yay for family fun. Oh no, the little one is drifting, rubbing his eyes. Nooooo we get to have the pool to ourselves ( I feel a bit whiny). So we bid adieu to the perfect pool time as our son is a bit tired (was it the 4:30 am wake-up or the 6:30 you think ?) We rush home for a bath and some snuggle time. Once again we juggle dinner. Do we eat before his final bottle? Or do we wait? we sneak in supper. It is just so nice not to eat a full meal at 9 pm. We put our little one to sleep and feel freedom. No dinner to cook, no dishes to wash, and the little one is down. What to do what to do? Let's bake cookies. What? Yes I craved some cookies and as we baked a batch my hubby and I reminisced over memories that only home-made cookies can inspire. How funny, that certain activities are so familiar and yet so rare and therefore are treated like treasures. There have been some recent days like today that would have broken my spirit, my will, or just driven me to tears. But today Wednesday and I laughed together. Chaos, surprises, are going to happen. I try to be organized to have a grip on our daily activities but I am remembering the part of me who used to be along for the ride. Either way is good but being able to do both is priceless.
May your HealthFULL Journey be full of witty events where the outcome is not scripted. 'Til we meet again.
I crashed in our bed at 2:30 am (I am a night owl an tend to sleep in phases and the previous phase had been in our ultra comfy recliners excellent last minute purchase day before our son was to come home :) Then four thirty rolls around and it sounds like alarms are blaring. No it is my son screaming I bound from our bed and arrive in the nursery. Pulling hair into ponytail (this is my mommy alert look so my son does not panic) and wipe sleep from my eyes as I stumble to the nursery. Oh well that wasn't what I expected to find. My son is on all fours (he isn't crawling yet) stuck in that position as he is in the short length of his crib. Okay baby I can fix this. I pick up the giggly boy (not the same shrieks as of two minutes earlier) and give him a fresh diaper because I know in his shoes that would make me feel better too. We giggle and sing as he drifts back to sleep. I finally succumb to his lullaby dog and sneak away from his bedside (mommy is very tired!) I rock in the recliner as I listen for his sleepy murmurs. And then allowed my hubby to walk by me as he awoke to start his day. He tiptoed to our son's room to check on our son and most likely thought I would be there. Surprise I am hiding in the living room (after three hours of sleep I thought this was hilarious :) I then crawled back into bed after five. And surprise once again my screaming alarm blares at 6:30am. Fantastic! This scream was I AM STARVING! So we cuddled together as he enjoyed his bottle. We giggled and then back to bed with a plea from mom because I am still just a little bit tired. I dozed in the recliner waiting for his sleepy sounds once again. Woke up in a panic feeling robbed of true sleep and snuck into my welcoming and comforting bed. Ahhhhhhh (slowly drifting and decrescendoing) only to crescendo tweny minutes later into AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Yippy we are awake for the day. Let's round up the cowboys we need to get a scootin'. And so our day of chores and routines begin. Laundry in, dishwasher loaded, setting up for tomorrow - lunches packed, outfits chosen, grabbing toys to commence playing and we play and play. I sneak in a little breakfast and then he is immediately unto lunch. We play a little more and then bottle for nap. Ahhhhhh I love naps. Mine/his both equal mommy rest. And fourteen minutes down as I begin to make my own lunch. The screams start again. I rush to his room to find a sleeping baby. I sneak in a shower because only when that task is complete do I feel accomplished for the day. I then again hear the whimpers. I find a sad son and we discuss how crucial nap is for the day as we plan on swimming later. We strike a deal. Ten minutes in the crib as I grab lunch. If he is still awake we will continue to play or he gets the nap so desperately needed and deserved by both of us :) Switch out laundry, finish dishes, and straighten. Then once again the baby stirs this time we both agree time to get moving. I go to feed him his meal. And my sweet child felt it was a good time that mommy learn an important lesson. Baby needs constant attention one slip in observation and chaos will reign. As I find my son (seconds passed....seconds) had dumped out his baby food and smeared it on him, high chair, a little on the wall, and a bunch in his lap. By the way I didn't think that much came packaged together. I could have screamed, cleaned up immediately. But really the damage was done, te kid deserves some fun. So he finger painted mixed vegetables to his heart's content. And then I spotted the winged beast. A wasp, near our sliding doors, please please please be outside. As the wasp begins to crawl up the window I breathe relief as he looks stuck between the door and glass, wait , nope definitely inside. And two feet away from the baby covered in baby food. Don't panic (though I am so not a fan of creatures with wings especially those that can sting). I slip over to the fly swatter (only through the adrenaline of motherhood would I even consider attacking this wasp). I steadied my movement, held my breath, and whimpered a prayer. I lifted the fly swatter and whoosh. Slightly tapped the wasp half fearful of missing and angering the beast. Wait on the first try it is down. WOO HOO. After conquering that mission - let's move unto operation clean the kid and highchair after feeding him some real food (vs. just painting it and wearing it). Next up changing into swimsuit. Of course messy diaper strikes. Why not? By the time my hubby arrives home to take us swimming I am stumbling bleary eyed and exhausted but determined to have some fun. I "Casper" up my son as I cover him and I mean cover him in sunscreen. (We weren't taking any chances). Yes we arrive at the pool as it is our own private oasis. Cue music because we are about to break into song....wait for it .....and car pulls up. Seriously? And then another car, and another, and another. Well no private oasis today as not one swimming lesson takes place, but two. Oh Wednesday with your witty way. Both lessons come to a close at the same time and the other car is leaving. Yay for family fun. Oh no, the little one is drifting, rubbing his eyes. Nooooo we get to have the pool to ourselves ( I feel a bit whiny). So we bid adieu to the perfect pool time as our son is a bit tired (was it the 4:30 am wake-up or the 6:30 you think ?) We rush home for a bath and some snuggle time. Once again we juggle dinner. Do we eat before his final bottle? Or do we wait? we sneak in supper. It is just so nice not to eat a full meal at 9 pm. We put our little one to sleep and feel freedom. No dinner to cook, no dishes to wash, and the little one is down. What to do what to do? Let's bake cookies. What? Yes I craved some cookies and as we baked a batch my hubby and I reminisced over memories that only home-made cookies can inspire. How funny, that certain activities are so familiar and yet so rare and therefore are treated like treasures. There have been some recent days like today that would have broken my spirit, my will, or just driven me to tears. But today Wednesday and I laughed together. Chaos, surprises, are going to happen. I try to be organized to have a grip on our daily activities but I am remembering the part of me who used to be along for the ride. Either way is good but being able to do both is priceless.
May your HealthFULL Journey be full of witty events where the outcome is not scripted. 'Til we meet again.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
R.E.S.T.
We all need to learn how to R.E.S.T. especially in the world we are living : Relaxing Effortlessly & Stop Trying. Aren't we always trying something? I know I am , I am a dweller. And when dwelling it is all about how to do things better, for the quest of perfection. I dwell on what was, what is and what could be. But when you dwell there is no room for R.E.S.T. We pride ourselves on being a multi-tasking gurus. Have you ever caught yourself arguing with someone about how much you did today (this is a typical spouse discussion) or how little sleep you've gotten? Isn't that a weird fight? And you catch yourself halfway but you are so determined to win and what does the winner win? The right to be grouchier? This blog was going to be titled Working Hard to Relax. My family is planning a beach vacation. We spent all day Saturday buying our list of "needed supplies", traipsing from store to store in hopes of purchasing that single item that will add extra bliss to our get-a-way. Vacation snacks are my guiltiest pleasure. Not that I limit my food choices all that much but vacation goodies are to be that extra splurge that doesn't usually enter the house for daily consumption. Half won't be eaten on the trip, I know this, my hubby teases me, and yet I throw them in the cart and while adding this treat I have added six chores: shopping, unloading item in house, to pack in car, to unpack car to hotel, and then most likely re-pack and unpack at home. I do this with a lot of items. No wonder I am so exhausted by the time vacation arrives. I am tripling my workload to hope for that "bliss of perfect" vacation. And don't beach vacations sound a little bit more luxurious. And really if you think about it. You are grabbing your skimpiest outfit that you will parade in public, to carry half of your belongings for those "extra comforts" to sit on a pile of dirt and then rinse yourself in dirty salty water with creatures living in it, and most likely ending up with a sunburn. So much fun! And yet, I can't wait. I anticipate the moment our son discovers sand and how the water sounds lapping the beach. I look forward to my husband's smile as he carries our little boy through the water as our son giggles at the cool liquid touching his legs and most likely splish splashing both of us to his heart's content. But that is the point of this little blog entry. That all sounds great but I need to enjoy the "now" and stop trying for then. Maybe put back an item or two or three from the snacks I most likely won't eat on the trip (so won't really miss) instead of chowing down on them when I am bored around the house (and have lugged from the store, to home, to the hotel, back home - so deserve a good home in my tummy, no!) and enjoy the shopping of our son choosing a second swimsuit with sharks and then sharing his pirate face or how when he checked out he was seconds from his first shoplifting (let's hope this is the closest he will ever come) as we learn our son has great pincher skills. We didn't see the batteries at the checkout stand but the shine caught our li'l one's eye. There are moments in every day for us to truly R.E.S.T. if we let go of all the trying and multi-tasking and be present effortlessly. So as we plan our soon vacation, the get-a-way will be a nice change of scenery but the R.E.S.T. starts now.
May your HealthFULL Journey include REST. 'Til we meet again. . .
May your HealthFULL Journey include REST. 'Til we meet again. . .
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Preparing for a journey
Sometimes I sit down with a story to share, a life quip, or a message heavy on my thoughts and in my heart. Tonight I had planned to share my day's experience and then my heart started pouring words unto the screen. For those of you struggling remember tomorrow will be different. For those of you shining and basking in the moment, pocket the memory. For those of you confused, look around so many of us are sitting beside you. Life is a journey. There was a beginning few remember and an ending at a destination no one can predict. So don't forget to look around and appreciate the journey.
Journey
Hesitating at the beginning
Out of fear of the ending.
So many steps in between
One can only hope that the beginning and the end will meet.
We weave our way through the maze
Scared of roadblocks.
Terrified of aimless wandering.
Everything must have a purpose
Or what’s the point?
We listen for encouraging words.
We quiet our restless urges.
We anticipate others’ reactions.
We demand results for ourselves.
We scream, we whisper,
We beg, we pray;
Whatever it takes
To reach the end.
To move from what was
Through what is
In expectation of what will be. . .
Oh how I wish I could share my findings,
But we must let others travel their trails.
Our words are mere distractions.
Our kindnesses rebuked.
Our experiences our own.
Others must stumble
Must choose their way
For their beginning was not yours
And their ending must be their own.
So friend if we meet along the path:
I will bid you many blessings,
Share what I have,
Invite you along my journey.
However, know I will take no offense
If you cannot stay;
for your own journey beckons.
We may hesitate because of our fear,
But know this my friend;
Only in travel may we gain acceptance of who we are
And who we’re meant to be.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Repeat. Encore. Second Helping
Oh the first time trying anything can be magical because you are always on your toes. The first kiss. The first day of school/work. The first taste of a new recipe. The first time riding an airplane. The first anything gets a special place in your heart. Because that moment is anticipated and regardless of what happens after the "first" the long awaited question has an answer. Usually we try to repeat amazing moments to be slightly disappointed. (Stop the sequels Hollywood!) But sometimes which is why we continue to ask for encores and second helpings; they are even better than the first time. Because you're ready for that warm tingly feeling that captures your heart. Ever hit rewind on your dvr to capture that perfect moment, grab the camera to "keep" the picture forever, nod your head as you hit repeat on your ipod because yes you will be replaying that song. Every once in awhile we get to re-do a moment that with a little knowledge is even better than the first time.
We had a second family time swim. My little guy had a busy day but hung in there for some swim time. I eagerly told everyone I saw today that we were hitting the pool after errands (it's amazing when you tell at least one person out loud your plans, your likelihood increases 90% that you will follow through). My son, my hubby, and I set a pool date. We synched our goals, when to meet, and gathered the supplies (with a baby nothing happens without grabbing supplies - from toys to diapers to car seat to meals). Because of the fun of our first time still lingering the excitement dripped off of our suits and goofy smiles. We knew what we needed, learned how to open the gate (stupid fob!), and was lathered in sunscreen (super careful with our son but there was a jamaican mistake of using only a SPF 4: I WANTED A TAN! but I digress and that mistake will never rehappen - lesson learned!). Oh we were so close to that awesome factor of having the pool to only our family - like we were just chilling in our backyard. There was a family of two youngsters just leaving as we pulled up. YAY! We figured out that I jump in the pool and then my hubby can hand me the baby. As I am grabbing our son for our private pool party another car pulls up. Oh fiddlesticks! But they politely grabbed the other end of the pool so we still could half pretend :) How much more relaxed we were this second time around. We giggled and had fun the first time around. But this time we acted like it was our family outing on a daily basis that we grab the suits and hit the pool. There was a relaxation amongst our parents that echo in our son's bouts of laughter as he splished and splashed soaking both his dad and me. As a family we paddled, splashed, floated, kicked, and giggled for quite awhile. And though as parents we were gathering energy in spending time as a family and having fun with our son. The sun, the activity, the water, and the big day of events for our nine-month old was quickly losing steam as he began to get drowsy in his pool chair; rubbing his eyes and slowly nodding his head. Splash time over, tired baby on board. With ease we gathered our pool items, secured the little one in the car, and back home.
This moment was a wonderful second helping. Not all repeats deserve the standing ovation, oh but those that do are truly masterpieces of our lives. Never demand a second helping without a second thought, but don't ever let fear make you miss the encore that brings down the house.
May your HealthFULL Journey repeat those extraordinary moments that replenish your soul. 'Til we meet again. . .
We had a second family time swim. My little guy had a busy day but hung in there for some swim time. I eagerly told everyone I saw today that we were hitting the pool after errands (it's amazing when you tell at least one person out loud your plans, your likelihood increases 90% that you will follow through). My son, my hubby, and I set a pool date. We synched our goals, when to meet, and gathered the supplies (with a baby nothing happens without grabbing supplies - from toys to diapers to car seat to meals). Because of the fun of our first time still lingering the excitement dripped off of our suits and goofy smiles. We knew what we needed, learned how to open the gate (stupid fob!), and was lathered in sunscreen (super careful with our son but there was a jamaican mistake of using only a SPF 4: I WANTED A TAN! but I digress and that mistake will never rehappen - lesson learned!). Oh we were so close to that awesome factor of having the pool to only our family - like we were just chilling in our backyard. There was a family of two youngsters just leaving as we pulled up. YAY! We figured out that I jump in the pool and then my hubby can hand me the baby. As I am grabbing our son for our private pool party another car pulls up. Oh fiddlesticks! But they politely grabbed the other end of the pool so we still could half pretend :) How much more relaxed we were this second time around. We giggled and had fun the first time around. But this time we acted like it was our family outing on a daily basis that we grab the suits and hit the pool. There was a relaxation amongst our parents that echo in our son's bouts of laughter as he splished and splashed soaking both his dad and me. As a family we paddled, splashed, floated, kicked, and giggled for quite awhile. And though as parents we were gathering energy in spending time as a family and having fun with our son. The sun, the activity, the water, and the big day of events for our nine-month old was quickly losing steam as he began to get drowsy in his pool chair; rubbing his eyes and slowly nodding his head. Splash time over, tired baby on board. With ease we gathered our pool items, secured the little one in the car, and back home.
This moment was a wonderful second helping. Not all repeats deserve the standing ovation, oh but those that do are truly masterpieces of our lives. Never demand a second helping without a second thought, but don't ever let fear make you miss the encore that brings down the house.
May your HealthFULL Journey repeat those extraordinary moments that replenish your soul. 'Til we meet again. . .
Moments that catch you offguard
You know that moment. When you hear a song in the elevator and you whisked back to high school. When you bump into a stranger and for the briefest second reminds you of a dear old friend. You hear a voice in a crowded restaurant and you know you have heard it before. And the trails to the past come linked together. If you allow one memory they easily latch together and can overwhelm you. I have felt so overwhelmed lately. Lack of sleep, lack of control, lack of that "something". I am reminiscing because I had a "moment" recently, one of those moments that you know in that second is a life lesson. Maybe you can't pin it down but you know something significant has changed.
I was shopping with my little one. Getting impatient because it was for those tedious items we use everyday but no one likes buying. TP and toiletries, essential kitchen stapes yadda yadda yadda. In search of our toiletries we were on a mission to replace the pouf (think fancy sponge). I found a fancy girly pouf and threw it in the cart, although I really just wanted the standard cheaper version. I've noticed they both need replacing about the same. Ahha! Found it. I chucked my fancy pouf in the box with the standards and plucked a cheaper from the pile into my cart. Seven steps I flip flopped my way forward in haste to finish our chore. But one glance down into those pretty blues and half tooth smile, I quickly retreated backwards seven steps without even a mere glance. Claimed my fancy pouf and loofah brush (not mine) and headed back to the fancy pouf aisle. Because in that one glance down I realized my mistake for two reasons. One I used to complain when I had to return items of lazy shoppers that couldn't put their item away (or at least bring to the cashier so that it can be returned to the proper place). I just know my misplaced pouf would cause a duel. And I grabbed the loofah brush because we should go the second mile for others. And really the brushes hang two inches to the left of the fancy poufs. But the real motivator is the little guy. He isn't quite ten months old. Will he remember this life lesson? No. But I will and I know someday he will be watching and he will understand. And copying what he sees. I'm not perfect, but that shouldn't stop me from making corrections when I can. We shared a moment that reminded me not to give in to the immediate gratification of moving on. Remembering that my careless act would cause others extra work, extra hassle, and extra cost. It was one small gesture, but the lesson resonated. We usually only learn a moment's significance in hindsight. But what a precious gift to realize the importance during the moment. Having a son has changed me, my heart, my thoughts, and my priorities. I list time, health, faith, and love pretty high these days. All so precious, and all so fleeting.
May your HealthFULL Journey magnify those precious life learning moments so that you can truly enjoy them in the moment. 'Til we meet again. . .
I was shopping with my little one. Getting impatient because it was for those tedious items we use everyday but no one likes buying. TP and toiletries, essential kitchen stapes yadda yadda yadda. In search of our toiletries we were on a mission to replace the pouf (think fancy sponge). I found a fancy girly pouf and threw it in the cart, although I really just wanted the standard cheaper version. I've noticed they both need replacing about the same. Ahha! Found it. I chucked my fancy pouf in the box with the standards and plucked a cheaper from the pile into my cart. Seven steps I flip flopped my way forward in haste to finish our chore. But one glance down into those pretty blues and half tooth smile, I quickly retreated backwards seven steps without even a mere glance. Claimed my fancy pouf and loofah brush (not mine) and headed back to the fancy pouf aisle. Because in that one glance down I realized my mistake for two reasons. One I used to complain when I had to return items of lazy shoppers that couldn't put their item away (or at least bring to the cashier so that it can be returned to the proper place). I just know my misplaced pouf would cause a duel. And I grabbed the loofah brush because we should go the second mile for others. And really the brushes hang two inches to the left of the fancy poufs. But the real motivator is the little guy. He isn't quite ten months old. Will he remember this life lesson? No. But I will and I know someday he will be watching and he will understand. And copying what he sees. I'm not perfect, but that shouldn't stop me from making corrections when I can. We shared a moment that reminded me not to give in to the immediate gratification of moving on. Remembering that my careless act would cause others extra work, extra hassle, and extra cost. It was one small gesture, but the lesson resonated. We usually only learn a moment's significance in hindsight. But what a precious gift to realize the importance during the moment. Having a son has changed me, my heart, my thoughts, and my priorities. I list time, health, faith, and love pretty high these days. All so precious, and all so fleeting.
May your HealthFULL Journey magnify those precious life learning moments so that you can truly enjoy them in the moment. 'Til we meet again. . .
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Splish Splash
Howdy ya'll it has been awhile. Our computer is on the fritz which means it is two steps from being pitched into whatever respectable protocol will do. It is ancient by computer standards at eight years of age and many crashes. But I have a chance to blog tonight. Today was a special excercise day (that I did anything is sort of amazing.) But we had our first family swim. Our little guy has swam twice in the pool. Or floated in his huge pool seat more accurate. However, his daddy hasn't been able to join us. But today we made time and the weather cooperated. This moment was almost missed. I was planning for that perfect moment. I was hoping to get off work early so that we could enjoy the pool when it isn't so busy as school is back in session. Instead I worked a tish later. Which made me feel that the perfect pool moment had been passed. Once again with a little encouragement of my hubby and the smiles of a sweet baby boy. We motivated our tushies into suits and the car. There was only one other family enjoying the Friday evening air. With delight our son splashed his parents and laughed in delight. The scene reminded me that excercise does not have to be a chore. Movement should be fun and playful. Not every moment has to be dedicated to the best burn rate but seeking out opportunities to test our abilities and the chance to squeal in delight achieves results. Consistency is key and consistency happens when motivation is easily attained. As a parent we believe it is our duty to teach our little ones about the world. But are usually humbled when our child teaches us. My little boy inspires to me to be my best version. I do feel like I fail nine times out of ten, but am motivated to keep trying. Sadly we have access to a beautiful pool in our neighborhood and I believe I have used it a total of three times (in four years). It is easy to blame our resources, responsibilities, abilities, others, obstacles, anything for why we don't squeeze in work-outs. But the truth is when we really want something, place it high on our priority list we can make it happen. No one can do everything, there is only 24 hours in a day. But we can use our twenty-four hours any way we choose. I have to be more conscious of my choices so that I can be my best version; for my son's sake, and my own. I need to not get lost in the quest of perfection. And to remember there is always time to splish splash with those we love.
May your HealthFULL Journey be not a quest for perfection but a journey blessed with love, laughter, and lasting memories. 'Til we meet again. . .
May your HealthFULL Journey be not a quest for perfection but a journey blessed with love, laughter, and lasting memories. 'Til we meet again. . .
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