It has been awhile. . .

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I know it has been awhile and it seems that I have deserted the journey but I actually am even more committed than ever. I tried doing a lot of this on my own (well with family and friends support) but without visiting the doctors. I am not a huge fan. I am not saying all doctors aren't professional or wise but let's just say I have had my share of quacks. Just to highlight some extreme (but now kind of funny) incidents to prove why I might have some misgivings. There was a time I visited a doctor and he came into the room sat down in a chair. Took off his shoes and started rubbing his own feet. You know what I am a working gal I get that your feet get tired. But then he started rattling off how rough a day he was having. As the patient don't I get to list my ailments first? I am just saying. . . There also have been numerous times I have been left in compromising positions as the doctor leaves to go grab one last thing. Hello! We are currently busy sir/ma'am , can your errand wait? I also visited a doctor for repeated headaches and he stuck a needle in my knee repeatedly. Now I am assuming this was an acupressure technique, but at no point did he warn me that he was going to stab me in the knee with a needle. And when I say needle I mean like a straight pin you use to hem your pants ( I say you because I am not gifted in the domestic skills like sewing :) I have had several cat scans for repeated headaches I used to experience all the time. There was one time the "nurse" (I am sorry I am unaware of what their official title was at that time) but she was injecting the iodine into my arm. Now I am blindly trusting this lady and not watching the injection. I am not the biggest fan of needles (I'll be honest I am kind of like a three year old freaking out). So I just look away, its best for everyone. But I take a quick gander when the lady explains "Oh, that's not good at all!" Kind of in a panic voice. Do you know why she is saying this? Because of injecting the iodine into my arm. She somehow has the needle stuck in my arm but there is iodine spilling all over over my arm. How can this happen you ask? Well she giggles (because this is so funny! As I am freaking out over the needle and about to have a cat scan) I forgot to correctly tighten the needle or cap it correctly. Hardy Har Har! What else, there was the chiropractor/massage therapist who said I was not properly aligned. Which is a usual statement from a chiropractor. But they didn't mean my spine. She explained that my upper half of my body was not residing within my body and it was like my upper half of my body was sitting about two feet away. Okay, enough said about that appointment. . . There was the time I visited an ER in Alaska because I had not been feeling well. I kept waking up with horrible ear pain that covered all of the inside of the ear and around the ear. As I explained to the doctor it is ALMOST like it switches ears as if it was traveling down a tube from one to the other. I was explaining what it felt like. Not what was happening. The doctor did the quick checks (nose, mouth, ears). Told me my symptom was impossible (which I had been having for over a month, almost daily). And after our oh so friendly three minute visit( not exaggerating!) I was charged ninety dollars before leaving the hospital. Well that was fun. . . Side note I visited another doctor in Alaska a little less than two months later and they thought I had the flu. I got back to ND. Turned out I probably had mono both those visits and it was never caught. (The second doctor one of my symptoms was that I was sleeping up to sixteen hours a day and still exhausted. . . hmmmm) But probably my favorite was the emergency room visit in Rochester. Now I appreciate a thorough history and that they want to keep me safe. But they asked three times, three times if the man who brought me in was abusing me. The man was my father. I was 24 years old at the time, married, and not living at home. We were in Rochester to support my mother who was having surgery at the time. Now I would also like to point out my symptoms were nothing related to bruising, bleeding, or injury of any kind, but that I was having a ridiculous fever where my eyelids were on fire. So let's deal with the fever and then worry if I am being abused (Not that I think domestic abuse is humorous in any sense and that for those they can help in the ER God bless them - but let's look at the facts people). After round three of my history we get to the good stuff, why I am here in the ER. I explain that I feel really hot, like eyes burning hot. Again the nurse chuckles because I am obviously Hi-lar-ious when I don't feel good. She takes my temp with her little smirk of expression "Well let's see how high your temperature is, shall we? " (I also must seem to have a quirk that makes doctors/nurses think I am lying about my symptoms). Well my temperature wiped that smirk off her face. She quickly fumbles with her paperwork and says I will see a doctor shortly. The temp was in Celsius degrees so I don't know exactly how high my temp was but I saw a shorthand sheet posted that translated Celsius - Fahrenheit degrees and my temperature wasn't even listed! The list went as high as 103.2 degrees Fahrenheit. So when I say my eyelids were on fire. I am not kidding! But then the fun really started. Because this was at my heaviest. Now I realize weight can affect a lot of things with illness, injuries, and diseases. But for all overweight people, our size doesn't have to do with EVERYTHING! Sometimes I feel that the weight is just an easy go-to for doctors and they overlook certain things. So the hospital staff gives me tylenol to drop the fever which it did and I finally broke the high temp. By the time the doctor comes in my clothes are soaked. Like wring me out soaked. The doctor does the check-up, discovers my viral infection in the lungs. We are doing great and then he was explaining how long to expect it to last and when it will clear up. Here is our conversation: Me (Suzy) : How long do I have to take the medicine? Dr. : As long as the infection lasts. Me: How long does that usually take? Dr. : Well, you're a ( and here it is the physical gesture that seals the deal - think of when people describe football players - hunch both shoulders raising them to their ears, lifting and dropping their shoulders three times, raise the fists as if fist bumping themselves, and pucker their lips with furrow brows) Big Girl! End of conversation! Ummm, Big Girl? That's not a timeline. Thank you, but that answered my question not at all. But it is always fun to feel awful and then have the doctor insult me verbally and physically with gestures. And also part of my earlier rant. My weight doesn't seem to have any determination on how medication or alcohol affect me as I am kind of lightweight with both. Because of my size people assume that I have a high tolerance. I do not for the record. Well I have ranted long enough... Now you see from my perspective why I might have delayed getting the doctors involved. In one of my next posts I will share where and who this journey has been leading me to see. I hope that in all of life's situations you see the humor. Maybe not in the moment (Although that is always more fun) but at least when you look back, even those stressful moments may they bring a chuckle, a chortle, or a smirk. 'Til we meet again. . .