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| And so am I!!!
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Right now I am living my dream. The crazy part I didn't even know it was my dream. Sure I have had these off handed pitter patters at similar daydreams but really this time I was caught off-guard. I thought being a SAHM (stay at home mom) would be boring. That I would feel like something was lacking. That my days would seem endless. That it would be almost too easy. So far from the truth. I am on day 9 and I am shocked by the challenges, the ease, the fun, and all that I've accomplished and how much more I have left to learn.
I am on a faith journey I never imagined. I gave up a comfy and as secure job as you can have these days in May to nanny for some of the world's greatest kids. Knowing it would be only for a summer (though in full honesty I did approach the family to extend the job - can't blame a girl for trying). I wanted to create the job because it would be convenient for me and hopefully for the family as well. But mainly I wanted some control on our finances, a solution to the problem of being uncomfortable. I appreciate the skills of being adaptable and to ability to improvise on the spot. I applaud the beauty and humor connected to the act of spontaneity. And once upon a time I believe I possessed those skills or at least could fake it with the best of them. Maybe it's because I hit the age of 30+, maybe because I am a mom, or maybe I was a control freak all along - but what I know is NOW I appreciate the comfort of plans,lists, and schedules. No job on the horizon was nerve-wracking and wait there is a bottom of the ninth grand slam - knock it out of the park job offer in that famous last minute.
It was a good job. It was challenging, it was fun, it was heart-warming, and yet it just did not fit into our life. And we tried, we pulled, we tucked, we shimmied, we pleaded, we wedged, we crammed, and just no go. So the only option left was to become a short term SAHM. We're working out some other options as I begin the candidacy process for ordained ministry. Perhaps I can look at this blog as training ground for future sermons.
I've had several people share they wish they could afford this option - the luxury of being a SAHM. I'm going to be blunt we can't afford this option either. But on the other hand we couldn't afford not to try this option as well. I am still looking for jobs I have sent out three resumes this week alone. (and it's Tuesday). But it has to be the right job with the right schedule for the right pay. So we turn it over to God (or at least I'm trying to). It's hard. I like disposable income - I'm awesome at spending money. I spent (oh this is embarassing) $73 at the dollar store in hopes of "saving" money as we prepared for our son's 2nd birthday. When I confessed this expenditure to my hubby - he laughed and said you bought seventy-tree items? I proudly smiled - I actually bought more *rubs knuckles on shirt*. So you see budget is not one of my fortes . . .yet! I'm trying though. Between sales and coupons we are averaging forty percent savings according to our grocery receipts.
Cooking - I am okay. Great sous chef with clear explanantion - but hubby and I agreed I needed to take on more responsibility with the title of Head Chef :( And as a housekeeper I'm the worst. If we could afford help - I would fire me! But again I'm trying, I'm learning. I have to admit though I kind of make an awesome babysitter for my son. We laugh, we cuddle, and slowly are improving bedtime/naptime. Think of it as the bunny hop - one hop forward, one hop back and sometimes three forward (really teeny tiny hops forward) - but PROGRESS! If I ever have to apply for this position I can prove my track record of learning things quickly :)
So this is why it is a faith journey - because my resume would not get me seen for the position of a SAHM. And if for some reason I was called for an interview - from what I just wrote; who in their right mind would hire me? And yet, here I find myself as a SAHM for one more day? For one more week? One more month? I don't know - I am truly learning to live day by day. Which is a completely foreign concept for me. I can't remember the last time I wasn't working for tomorrow. I need to do this so tomorrow will be better. And then tomorrow comes and I am working on the next day from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. But these last nine days I am concerned about today! Living in today does not just mean taking care of the here and now but to truly embrace it and enjoy it. Because I don't know when it will be time for the next challenge. But right now I get to count my blessings - not only do I have God watching over for me but a son truly watching me - EVERYDAY! And a hubby who supports me through it all.
May your HealthFULL Journey serve as your witness of the life you want to lead and not just a sneak peek of what is hopefully, to come. We all get just the one chance here on Earth, so make it count - because someone is always watching! 'Til we meet again . . .
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