This year I have a different level of commitment to this HealthFULL Journey and I have taken different actions to yield more results. I am still not seeing as much progress on the scale. But I am learning it wasn't just physical pounds that I have been carrying. Some of these extra steps are to continue the efforts that have had positive influences - mentally and physically. I enjoy trying out a new produce which increases my cooking abilities and boosts the kitchen confidence. It also boosts the variety of vitamins and minerals in my system that could use a good shake-up as I have had a lot of years where my diet consisted of fries, mashed potatoes, chips, chicken, cheese, pasta, pop, and bread. Do you see a problem in that list? I do....now :) But when I was living with that menu - not a clue that wasn't athlete building material. Another method is to keep the exercise and movement consistent and interesting. What have I increased? AWARENESS! I visit the doctor regularly and we look at true physical stats (A1C, Blood Pressure, Weight) and discuss what is our best efforts moving forward. I am more aware of my choices as I wrote my goals down for the year (12 Resolutions for the 12 Months of 2012) and keep track of my progress. I know instantly if I am lagging in an area and not covering myself in delusions how hard I've been working on everything. Not only I am aware, but it keeps me consistently involved in improving my health in all areas. This allows me the chance to observe progress, note what's motivating -what's not and what areas need more attention. I got derailed health-wise and needed a reboot. I prayed about different options, researched, and brainstormed what would be different that would offer me a new perspective and momentum. With a few signs that I found in my daily life I decided a twenty-four hour fast was a good place to start.
I am working to build my faith. My weight is a result of gluttony as I idolize food in very unhealthy proportions. Logically, I can honestly respond no I don't choose food over important areas and people of my life. But there are sadly some actions that can contradict this logic. I have taught myself over the years that watching tv without a soda and a snack is almost impossible. I used to burst with pride that I had mastered the holding of a book and demolishing meals. Different books (paperback, textbook, hard cover, that between cover you pay $13) and depending on what section you are in the middle of reading (beginning, middle, and end) requires a different way to hold the book to maximize reading pleasure and having use of your hands to shovel food. I blissed out the emotional need for food because I always joined it with pleasurable activities, reading, tv watching, sometimes computer, and spending time with loved ones. So when something like food is ranked too high in your life and the thought of skipping/missing a meal is a little too close to the panic button it probably means drastic measures to reduce this "fix/need/obsession". I didn't get clearance from my doctor which I admit would have been best. But I did pray about it - felt I received confirmation from God. I told my husband so he was completely in the know of my plan. I skipped my daily dose of medication that I take to lower my blood sugar that drastically lowers it. And monitored my blood sugar numbers all day long so that I wasn't in a scary zone and had committed verbally to my husband that if my numbers dropped below a certain number that I would eat something. Awareness!
I have fasted (besides hospital mandated in possible preparation of surgery) twice I believe. Once as a youth participant in the thirty hour famine and as a youth leader for the same awareness. But both times that activity was swamped with distractions and activities to keep us busy. This was a prayerful meditation that I lifted up three big decisions in my life. And I wasn't nearly as hungry as I thought I would be. I ate a snack of a hard-boiled egg and peanuts right before the midnight starting Saturday. I wanted a good dose of protein in my system before beginning this 24 hour journey. My fear was to skip a meal and the first half of the day wasn't even challenging when I just had told myself I wouldn't be eating that day. It was almost peaceful not trying to decipher the perfect bite to appease my cravings. Granted I also slept the majority of those first twelve hours but still half-way and nowhere near panicsville. The truly tricky part of the day was that although I wasn't eating I still had to fix my son his meals and snacks. This meant going to the kitchen not tasting what I am about to feed him, nor modeling chewing that usually encourages him to sample all the bites. He's a toddler so I can fix the same meal everyday for a week and we'll have two days where he loves everything, one day where he won't touch any of it, one day where he picks at it, and three days where he loves one component, hates another, and plays with the third. And yet, still able to muddle through the day without too much hunger pains. My husband did ban me from his dinner. I was starting to get the tummy grumbles. And he said the hungry glint in my eye and drool on my face was a little off-putting. This was hard because we do try to spend quality time together on meals from the cooking to the eating and sharing grace and discussion. So that was a weird outcast moment but also completely justifiable. Then ten o'clock hit and still not the hunger getting me obsessed but my mind in panic that we should have eaten something by now. So I turned on the tv for distraction and got comfy on the couch in hopes of some blissful sleep to pass the hours and they did. Which made me so sleepy I woke up at midnight and limped down the stairs to crawl into bed. Woke up for church the next morning and debated if I should continue the fast for thirty-six hours. I decided thirty hours was plenty for a twenty-four hour fast.
I had three prayerful decisions that I meditated on during this fast seeking God's guidance. He granted two answers within the first two hours after the fasting. He answered another three within the next fourteen hours. Yes that's right I seeked three answers and He granted me five signs/symbols which in turn offered five answers to what I thought was only three questions. It was an emotional aftermath. It was an experience that I will repeat and that was extremely powerful.
Perhaps you need a re-set. Pray about it. Ask for guidance and be amazed by what life will offer with a little thoughtful effort from you.
May your HealthFULL Journey open your eyes to new approaches, opportunities to question and to be rewarded with answers. 'Til we meet again. . .
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