Do you have well established boundaries? Mine are all over the place. Again the extremist emerges. Some days, some hours, some minutes, sometimes even seconds my boundaries change. I tell myself I love chaos and I love organization. That is hard to love and be both those things. So I tell myself I like chaotic organization or organized chaos. Which makes me an oxymoron, but really most days it just makes me feel like a moron. There are times my boundaries are so set in stone. I have duties, I don't let people cross my path, and I do my thing. But then other days I insist the dog and the cat need to sleep with us so that they don't feel unloved or punished. That it is okay to help out a friend and have them live with us for undetermined amount of time. To give and to give my time, money, items, attention, focus, (I know I sound like I am up for sainthood, but then wait for it. . .) I SNAP! I scream, I cry, I gasp for breath, I see red and rage, and literally freak out. How could I be such a doormat? How could everyone and the world (because I am not rational at this point) be against me? How can I do anything when I am so crowded? Everyone is to blame (except me of course - because it is the world out to get me!) But really?
It's all me. I don't people or myself know when is enough? Before I over-extend myself and push way past my limits. I am human. And most days I don't cut myself slack, but then on the flipside I really don't cut others slack which means I am overcritical of EVERYTHING and so when one of my boundaries is pushed when I am overextended it is like a rubber band being stretched until it breaks! There are twenty-four hours in a day, no more, no less. Many problems can't be fixed in a day, because they didn't reach their present state in a day (for example: my weight). I have to focus on one task. Even writing this blog my head has gone everywhere. I am trying to pick at my health which some days isn't helping. But to organize my life I do need to take the big clutter out. And once the item is removed to establish boundaries to not reach that state again. Do you ever do that? Do you ever set a goal with a distinctive purpose; perhaps you clear out a space in your home, make time in your schedule, save a little extra money, or lose a couple of pounds and then never fulfill the purpose? You take your hard work and in one swoop throw it away. Its easy if we let the boundaries drop and let them fade away. It isn't hard to take on an extra project at work when you made room in your schedule with the intent to spend more time with the family (whats a couple extra hours to put yourself in line for promotion?) Perhaps you were saving up for a rainy day account or a family vacation and decided to treat yourself to new outfit or mani/pedi or repair the broken tv. Maybe you lost the weight for swimsuit season but then an old college buddy visited. You didn't have time for work-outs and didn't want to cramp your buddy's vacation so as the gracious host you joined them in tasting all the delicious junk you hadn't touched in months. I am not judging any of these scenarios because we all tend to fall short on our goals now and then. At least I know I have, when you work hard you place strain on yourself (anyone seen a bodybuilder at the gym - you can' build muscle without placing your strain on your body). Strain weakens your effort because you have pushed yourself until you hit fatigue and temptation loves to piggyback fatigue. Don't we all like the easy win? Of course temptation is going to knock when you feel lost, tired, miserable, down and out. That's why boundaries are necessary. They are in your power at all times. But if you don't maintain them, establish them, or continue to build them you lose control easily. So easily that you can't help but feel robbed and that someone or something else is to blame.
Life needs flexibility. Boundaries don't have to be rigid (and are easier to break if not movable). But boundaries should be established. We all need goals, we all need space to grow, and we need to know we have a say in our own life.
May your HealthFULL Journey teach you to be your own boss that allows you to be the version of yourself; willing and able to serve those you love and respect. 'Til we meet again. . .
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