"So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart." - Psalms 90:12
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I try! I can not emphasize this statement enough - I try! I want to be a great mom. A good wife. An awesome Christian. A wise entrepreneur. A fun nanny. A sweet daughter. A bubbly friend. An inspirational blogger. And some days I can hit one or even two of those titles. But a majority of the time I feel overwhelmed, under-prepared, and pretty much a babbling crazy loon! And that tends to be the good days :) No its not that bad....all the time....just some of the time. Part of the problem is I have issues with real concepts vs imaginary ideals on paper concepts. On paper I can budget to the penny or schedule every one of my "duties" and responsibilities with time to spare for "me" time. However, in reality the baby doesn't wake up when I pencil in the start of his morning routine. The traffic in real life never factors in my on paper schedule to be smooth going and no accidents! And budgeting - let's just say I am using the ads of the 1980's and freak out every time I see a "real" price tag. What? Bread costs more than a dollar? A 2 liter bottle of pop costs more than seventy-five cents? Stop this nonsense right now!
So what happens? I do the best I can - its all that any of us can do, right? We plug along and try to accomplish what we can accomplish in a day. I was ecstatic for this adventure to become a nanny. It has blessed me every day - countless times a day - it also has exhausted my mental capabilities - my physical endurance (and this insane heat has not helped!) - and my emotional state swings like a pendulum from the extremes - but we push through, right? We muddle, we smile, and we hope and pray. In the free time I try to grow my idea into a business. So far no takers at www.awriteword.org but I continue to putter around with advertising and the site. *tweak* *chisel* Think, think, think . . . I send out resumes left and right and left and right. As I look at the calendar and notice four weeks until my nanny gig is finished. Its easy at the beginning of a journey or adventure to step out in faith and good spirits. But as the calendar ticks by my nerves begin to twitch! I know God has a plan and I can't wait to see what direction we go - but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a tish nervous!!!
We have lost the art of the truth in covering up our imperfections. Oh no I am fine! We've got plenty of time to finish that project! You look great! I feel awesome - no these bags under my eyes are just a color palette trick I'm playing - you think they make me look tired - Not at all *yawn* and on an on we spin these tall tales, white lies, little fibs to push through our maniac schedules. But in the end what is the point of the craziness? Does my son feel less loved because he had frozen chicken tenders, again? Did the world stop because I haven't blogged in over a week? You get the picture. I don't mean to advocate we should all give up our responsibilities. It is good to be organized and dependable. But it is also important to acknowledge our human attributes and admit - I am not having a streak of perfection. However, I can report I am doing the best I can. I try to find sneaky ways to exercise (whatever you can knock out the earliest is so beneficial - it allows the rest of the day to be bonus :) We continue to plan our meals - which is a lifesaver repeatedly. This simple fifteen minutes of truly assessing your pantry bounty and scouring the sales ads two times a week - saves you money, time, and headaches/heartaches.
I can state that although life feels crazy and my eyes begin to close earlier and earlier with less and less on my to do list crossed off - I am Feeling Unbelievable and Loving Life.
May your HealthFULL Journey be a time to embrace your FULL health to create your best version of yourself so that you too can Feel Unbelievable and Love Life! 'Til we meet again. . .
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