Whew! Isn't it somewhat a relief to feel the solid ground of the bottom? No more of this free-falling and wondering if there is an end? FINALLY there is a foundation to finally pick myself up. I have felt myself sliding and slipping on the slope. But today I finally hit what I feared and it woke me up! It can't get worse but only better that's exciting. There are possibilities, there is room to explore and grow, there is time, and there is. . . That's right there is more than I can even imagine. Hallelujah! I have binged, and I have felt sorry for myself, and I have consumed myself with worries and doubts. But today I couldn't think of change, I had to start doing it. Everyone has a different bottom, a different story, a different motivation. I haven't stayed aware and had my epiphany moment of this is what will happen if I don't start becoming active in my life and make choices that help instead of ignoring the harmful options that stick themselves to us like velcro. I had a bit of a health breakdown physically (I feel I have ran the gamut between the worlds of financial needing a new roof, breaking the computer, and insurance nightmare, spiritual as a dark cloud hovered near my heart, and emotionally and mentally between the black cloud, and the ripple effect it caused.) So to finally hit the physical break was like finally let's get back on track and get priorities straightened. I have all the pieces of the puzzle scattered near each other. I can put this back together. I let my sugar get out of control. I have been guzzling soda pop (I usually drink diet but was trying to get away from the pop and was stealing my hubby's - and somehow had convinced myself I wasn't really consuming pop because I wasn't officially buying my brand.) Can we say denial? I had convinced myself to drown myself in juice. So I had fallen in the trap of drinking numerous calories (all sugar!), eating a bagel (yes they can be yummy but so dense of carbs), and then INDULGED in a wicked sinfully sugary treat drowned out by a sugar filled coffee. With a little dabble of fruit and very little else. Can anyone else see the trail of sugar? Shocking that I don't have ants following me like the Sugar and Spiced Suzy of Pied Piper ville. I felt my body reacting (sweats, cramps, and dizzy in a somewhat alarming way) but I had once experienced this reaction that I mistook as food poisoning. Oh it was food related but more of an overdose of sugar. The event hangs in my memory as the worst physical experience I have ever endured. I thought I was going to faint in the bathroom that night and almost wished for death as I had no idea what was happening. I wasn't quite to that point but realized I was showing similar signs. I checked my blood sugar and it was through the roof! It is a little too early to share the number but it definitely woke my sensibilities that this wasn't child's play and it was time to take claim of my health once more. I was able to keep calm because of previous experience and the insight to realize. This is the moment where decisions count and a life can change. Oh my HealthFULL Journey has had its mountains and valleys, but it is time to take comfort in finally feeling the confidence to strike out a path. Sure I'll stumble, may even lose my footing, but I won't let go of my determination to finish and my sight to forge ahead.
May your HealthFULL Journey be filled with opportunities to see your path and the peace to not only survive your stumbles but thrive like a rose through them. 'Til we meet again. . .
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