A Cramming Pack-rat

Pin It

That's me!!! I am a certifiable pack-rat and I cram the uncrammable. I have this overwhelming fear that I am going to miss out on. . . something, Everything! I pretty much have allowed chaos in all areas of my life so that I have the chance to cram just that extra bit in every nook and cranny. I really can't remember a time in my life that didn't include a little overloading. We own a DVR (which is entirely too addictive!) and I run the memory full. If there are twenty-four hours in a day I like to "schedule" all twenty-four as active hours. If a room has two feet of empty wall space...I must fill it! I have closets filled full of memory items and interesting, but useless objects. These items fit in the categories of I don't want to forget that moment and I don't want to be without the miscellaneous object. Because I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to save the day. I like limits so that I can establish the teetering point of drama and see if I fail or accomplish an amazing feat. What does being a pack-rat have to do with my HealthFULL Journey? A lot more than I wanted to admit. I have trouble limiting my choices. By taking responsibility of choosing a restaurant or activity I am cutting out the chance of doing it all! I am trying to figure out why I have this great fear. I am in the early stages of my brainstorming, but let's see if we can muddle through this together. It is safe to say we all fear failure on some type of scale. We are afraid we can't pay our bills or that we won't meet others' expectations. We might be afraid that we only will get one chance of lifetime especially those moments concerning the subjects of love, success, or happiness. We tend to build towards celebrations and milestones that become stressful events because we feared that the event itself wouldn't register as perfect and/or memorable. I think all the previous things mentioned and worry about so much more. I hate to disappoint and carry that guilt and shame everywhere. I believe that I cram so much into everything so that no stone is unturned. I think deep down that at some point in life; there is going to be this huge pop quiz and I for one want to be caught ready! And as many times as I tell myself that no pop quiz exists I still try to cram just a little more experience into the nooks and crannies. I don't want to "fail" when it comes to life, so I take it all. All or nothing is probably the closest phrase to my daily mantra. But isn't the truth that when we seek all; we end up with nothing. For example, have you ever filled your laundry a little too full? Okay, have you ever overloaded your laundry to the point where the washer fills with water, but can't spin the clothes dry. The weight exceeds the washer's spinning limits. Instead of having freshly clean clothes you end up with soggy laundry. That is how most of my life has become a crammed pack-ratted day. I am so worried about experiencing it all, that I end up with bupkus!!! So instead of enjoying a day full of fun and leisure, I overfill everything and start to over feel EVERYTHING. I try every flavor so that I don't miss that one lifetime experience. Sometimes, we just don't have to try it all. A couple of years ago I found Bertie Bott's Jelly beans, the candy described in the "Harry Potter" series as the candy of every flavor. They truly included the yummy and the disgusting. They had flavors such as grass, smoke, and vomit. And could I just leave well enough alone? Oh no! I had to try the whole box to not miss out! Does anyone really need to eat a grass-flavored jellybean? Noo!!!! And I think the other flavors go without saying ;) While on this HealthFULL Journey I am learning that less is more and not every experience truly enhances "The Life Experience". While I continue to embrace the philosophy to Fully Understand Life by Living I encourage you to also check out what are you cramming into your mouth, your schedule, and your closets. May you cram less and enjoy more! 'Til we meet again. . .